A Cautionary Tale: Love Without a Plan

[TotallyOz]

Once, there was a man with a generous heart and a quiet strength. He met a young man many years his junior—someone struggling, someone in need of kindness. What began as a helping hand became a partnership, a love that endured for twenty years. Through all of life’s trials, they stood side by side. The older man provided stability, a home, and love; not only to his partner, but eventually to the partner’s three children, whom he welcomed as part of his family.

They built a life together, not in the eyes of the law, perhaps, but in every way that matters. They shared meals, holidays, bills, dreams, and worries. The older man worked hard and paid for everything, trusting that love was enough.

But love, sadly, is not a legal document.

When he died, everything changed in an instant. There was a will that left everything to charity. There was no life insurance policy with the partner named as beneficiary. The bank accounts were locked. The partner and the children, once wrapped in the warmth of a secure life, found themselves suddenly adrift, cold, and cast aside.

No inheritance. No protection. No safety net. Just grief, bills, and uncertainty.

And so the partner, after twenty years of care, now sleeps on the street. His children go without him as he did not have the skills to survive. The man who once promised to look after them is gone.

This is not how love should end.

Let this be a cautionary tale: if you love someone, prepare. If you build a life with someone, protect them. Have a will that helps and protects them. Share ownership. Name your partner as beneficiary. Talk about the future, not just in dreams, but in documents.

Because death comes for us all, and love alone won’t keep your partner warm once you’re gone. Only foresight, planning, and legal protections can do that.

Love well. And love wisely.

[Keithambrose]

1 hour ago, TotallyOz said:

Once, there was a man with a generous heart and a quiet strength. He met a young man many years his junior—someone struggling, someone in need of kindness. What began as a helping hand became a partnership, a love that endured for twenty years. Through all of life’s trials, they stood side by side. The older man provided stability, a home, and love; not only to his partner, but eventually to the partner’s three children, whom he welcomed as part of his family.

They built a life together, not in the eyes of the law, perhaps, but in every way that matters. They shared meals, holidays, bills, dreams, and worries. The older man worked hard and paid for everything, trusting that love was enough.

But love, sadly, is not a legal document.

When he died, everything changed in an instant. There was a will that left everything to charity. There was no life insurance policy with the partner named as beneficiary. The bank accounts were locked. The partner and the children, once wrapped in the warmth of a secure life, found themselves suddenly adrift, cold, and cast aside.

No inheritance. No protection. No safety net. Just grief, bills, and uncertainty.

And so the partner, after twenty years of care, now sleeps on the street. His children go without him as he did not have the skills to survive. The man who once promised to look after them is gone.

This is not how love should end.

Let this be a cautionary tale: if you love someone, prepare. If you build a life with someone, protect them. Have a will that helps and protects them. Share ownership. Name your partner as beneficiary. Talk about the future, not just in dreams, but in documents.

Because death comes for us all, and love alone won’t keep your partner warm once you’re gone. Only foresight, planning, and legal protections can do that.

Love well. And love wisely.

Its a shame that the young man did not put away some savings over the 2 years.

[TotallyOz]

48 minutes ago, Keithambrose said:

Its a shame that the young man did not put away some savings over the 2 years.

What two years? It was 20 years. And, when you have kids and a family, money is eaten away fast. Esp. if someone else is controlling that money. I am not defending not saving cash. I am just saying, often not easy. 

[kokopelli3]

What you wrote TotallyOz sadly happens so many times here in Thailand. 

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, kokopelli3 said:

What you wrote TotallyOz sadly happens so many times here in Thailand. 

not only in Thailand, happens everywhere. Dealing with similar cases in last 33 years of my working life before I retired,  long ago I started saying to all who listen that wills should be mandatory for all after certain  age, say 65 ( I get that in case above there was a will but obviously neglected to be updated ). 

[khaolakguy]

41 minutes ago, vinapu said:

not only in Thailand, happens everywhere. Dealing with similar cases in last 33 years of my working life before I retired,  long ago I started saying to all who listen that wills should be mandatory for all after certain  age, say 65 ( I get that in case above there was a will but obviously neglected to be updated ). 

I read this story not as  a man failing to update his will, as oversight, but of a man wilfully not caring what happened to his partner and dependents when he was gone.

It was twenty years ffs. What person doesn't think occasionally about his own mortality over that period and wonder what will happen to his dependents after he is gone. He wasn't even leaving the money to family or anyone else.

How I can best help my partner in this situation is a matter of my recurring thoughts!

8 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

The man who once promised to look after them is gone.

I find it hard to believe that at some point there wasn't a conversation between the two of them about the future, in which the deceased would have reassured his partner.....

 

[nikba2515]

Sad and painful......

"Looking for fun, lot of fun with the right person, more fun and nothing else." I stated in every profile on an application. Same applied to all commercial places. There are guys, much younger one genuinely looking for love with a much older one, I meant 45 plus. Telling them upfront, no one get hurt.