Creepiest internet spying you can't explain?

[unicorn]

Because of my concern of conversations being spied upon, I don't own any of those spying machines such as Alexa. But last night we had some friends over for dinner and cocktails. One of them recently went to Düsseldorf for some music festival, and I asked him some questions about the city (which I have passed by in the past but never visited). This morning, the first suggestion I found from YouTube videos was a video on what to see in Düsseldorf. We're taking a Danube cruise in May, and I have searched for things to do in Vienna, Salzburg, Innsbruck, and Hallstatt, as well as made hotel reservations in Austria, Budapest, and Moldova, but never any searches in Germany, much less northern Germany or Düsseldorf. My phone wasn't on while we were together (albeit not powered off). We are friends on Facebook and Instagram. Anyone here have any idea as to why YouTube gave that suggestion? Or is it just a creepy coincidence (researching future destinations in general is one of the things I do on YouTube, but, again, nothing ever near Düsseldorf or the Ruhr Valley in general)?

[floridarob]

Since I've been playing with ChatGpt as a translator lately, I asked your question verbatim, then later went into further discussion about how can I trust him because he's part of the collective, it got funny, but I won't bore you with that part, here's to your question:

 

What happened to your friend is a very common recommendation pattern and there are several boring, non-spy explanations that together easily produce exactly that result.

Here’s what’s most likely going on behind the scenes:

1. Social graph cross-pollination
YouTube (Google) doesn’t need you to search Düsseldorf if:

• You are connected to someone who recently searched, watched, tagged, posted, or geo-located content about Düsseldorf (your friend from the festival).

• You interacted with that person recently on FB/IG.
  Platforms heavily weight shared interests between connected users. Travel is a big one.

Basically:
“People you interact with + travel content = suggest same city.”

2. Interest clustering
You’ve been actively watching/searching:

• Austria

• Budapest

• Moldova

• Danube cruise content

The system groups users into “Central Europe travel planners.” Once you fall into that bucket, it starts testing nearby/high-probability cities even if you never mentioned them. Düsseldorf pops up because:

• Festival city

• Popular tourism content

• Frequently recommended to Europe-travel audiences.

3. Location inference via your friend
If your friend:

• Posted stories from Düsseldorf

• Used location tags

• Uploaded photos

• Watched travel videos while there

And you’re socially linked, Google’s systems assume shared relevance. This is very normal and documented behavior across Meta + Google ecosystems.

4. No microphone needed
People jump straight to “they’re listening,” but in reality:

• Recommendation engines are scarier than surveillance.

• They predict based on behavioral similarity and social overlap.

• They don’t need audio when metadata and connections already tell them what you’re likely discussing.

Even advertisers have repeatedly said microphone harvesting isn’t used because it would be illegal and unnecessary — prediction models work better.

5. Timing illusion
The creepiest part is always the timing, but that’s also explainable:

• The algorithm constantly injects travel suggestions because you've been consuming travel content.

• Düsseldorf becomes the first German city it tries.

• Your brain links it to last night’s convo (totally human).

Same thing happens when people talk about a brand and then see ads — it's usually prior behavior + predictive modeling, not live spying.

---

Bottom line:
You’re in a travel-heavy data bubble, connected to someone who just lit up Düsseldorf across multiple platforms. The algorithm stitched those signals together and served you what it thought was relevant.

Creepy? Yes.
Listening? Almost certainly no.

[a-447]

I was on a guided tour at an art gallery in Perth with a friend recently. I had my phone on me at the time.

I happened to mention to my friend that the style of the artist in question reminded me of Edvard Munch.

Lo and behold, later in the day there was a post on him on my Facebook page!

 

[Blah]

It's well known that your phone is always listening to you, as are your friend's phones. This happens even when the phone is powered off.

📲

[unicorn]

Well, I do follow the Facebook stories of each of the married pair, but the music festival was a couple of months ago, if I'm recalling correctly, so that's what made the YouTube suggestion feel super-creepy to me. As a matter of fact, the frequently-traveling (and very hardy) couple just got back from French Polynesia (we hadn't connected seen each other in between the two trips, as my husband and I were in Antarctica). I can hardly imagine doing many of the things they'd done, such as doing a 100-mile trek to Everest Base Camp in one week (!!), and hiking to the top of Mount Whitney (4421 m) and back in one day(!!!). I had to nurse them back to health after the last one. If I ever make it to the top of Mount Whitney, it'd have to be by mule.

[jimmie50]

Talk about creepy...until your post I never had given it much thought.  However, something similar just happened to me.  My brother-in-law just returned form a business trip to Los Angeles.  He walked by me as I was sitting at my computer (MacBook), with my iPhone on the desk, and wearing my apple watch.  I asked him how his trip to California was and as part of the conversation he mentioned visiting a supermarket called Raley's.  I was familiar with it since I lived and worked in California most of my adult life, but there are no Raley's in Colorado, nor have I thought about that chain or had any reason whatsoever to do any online search about the store.  Next thing I know, I am getting email with Raley's advertisements.  Really weird.  

[caeron]

Use the brave browser.

Use a VPN.

Don't accept cookies.

Use Ad Blocker

Advanced: Get a subscription to Incogni which removes you from internet marketing data bases.

I do not wish to be spied on either, and these things, while not perfect, do a very good job of fighting back.

[unicorn]

2 hours ago, caeron said:

Use the brave browser.

Use a VPN.

Don't accept cookies.

Use Ad Blocker

Advanced: Get a subscription to Incogni which removes you from internet marketing data bases.

I do not wish to be spied on either, and these things, while not perfect, do a very good job of fighting back.

I do #'s 2-4. What's a brave browser?

[floridarob]

1 hour ago, unicorn said:

What's a brave browser?

A browser similar to Chrome.... 

https://brave.com/