Jump to content
Olddaddy

Is it just me? Am I too old?

Recommended Posts

7 weeks is a long time. I think 5 weeks is the longest trip I ever took. Every trip has its ebbs and flows. You shouldn't expect every day to be full of fun and frivolity. Listen to your body. Maybe gym, and sightseeing, and the bars is just too much to expect, especially in that climate. Do you live in the tropics full time? Maybe slowing down and choosing one of those things instead of all three would be better. 

I think it's natural to attempt to pack in as much as possible if you have limited vacation time. But with 7 weeks you have plenty of time to take it easy.

I'm several years younger than you and only have a sex a few times in a trip, not in a day. I usually prefer massage places to gogo bars since I don't drink alcohol. So, don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses and do what's right for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Now 6 weeks into my 7 week vacation,

The good thing about long stays...you DON'T have to do something everyday, like if you were on a 7-10 day trip. I stay in and veg, eat, MAYBE get a massage, watch TV or Youtube and recharge my batteries. Not all nights are good either....and when you feel tired, listen to your body and rest....will make the next day feel better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with fedssocr -  7 weeks is a long time. Even when I travel for non-sex reasons, I find myself getting bored by the time I hit the 5th week. One temple or cathedral blends into another; one "fabulous" scenic spot starts to look just like the other "fabulous" scenic spot. Instead of town squares looking interesting, new and exciting, I start to notice dirt, squalor, beggars and scammers.

With Thailand, since I have been here so many times, I know I will start getting bored by the 3rd week. I won't even last to the 4th or 5th week. So I keep my Thai trips to no more than 2 or 3 weeks.

Our bodies are all different, even in younger years. Once out of my teens, I have not been interested in 3 times a day. Nowadays, despite all the attractions of Thai venues, I keep to a certain discipline to avoid burn-out. Every third or fourth day is sex-free. The body needs to recharge.

I second gaybutton's advice: Try a legitimate Thai massage.  Try a genuine foot massage.  Go sightseeing.  Go shopping.  Try an out of the way, unfamiliar restaurant. I will add one more: Every third or fourth day, get  a good night's sleep.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Can I ask honestly,do you guys on your vacation go out every night to bars,do you take guys everyday for sex?

Did you drink alcohol everyday in the bars too?

I average 1 guy a day, sometime 2 if I get an early afternoon massage and then meet a boy at a bar at night. Some days I'll take a day off and just relax when I feel a little too tired. I'm in my 30s, fairly fit, and drink most nights on holiday but very rarely when at home.

Taking a day off to go try some restaurants, going for a quiet walk on the beach, and reading a book by the pool is never a bad day spent in my opinion.

The way I look at it is, are enjoying your holiday and are you satisfied? if you answer yes, then that's all that matters. It's not a competition, just relax and go at your own pace.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don’t feel disappointed, I’m less than half your age yet I get maybe a fifth of the sex during my vacations. The stamina of most of the guys here is certainly amazing, yours included.

Though I’m happily in a monogamous (*gasp*) relationship now, hence the lack of action during our last trip to Thailand, living vicariously through you guys really inspires me to continue having a sex drive when I’m older.

Moreover, even before when I was single, I could maybe do 2 rounds max, and only with one guy. 
 

Just relax champ, the purpose of your vacation is to have fun, relax and enjoy. It’s not a competition. Just listen to your body and let it all sink in.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reading these boards will make you think everyone is having sex three times a day. It’s like listening to gamblers only bragging about their wins. 
 

     Enjoy doing other things mentioned. Just have a beer at the beach, shoot a gun, take a ride on a boat.

my vacation is long, five months. I spend half going to bars or picking up boys wherever I run into them. I picked up playing pool and I love it now. I swim and relax watching utube, studying Thai and practicing it with people I meet.

       Perhaps you’re a side, not top or bottom. I find myself in that category more now as I’m older. You don’t have to have an orgasm. When I’m with my money boy boyfriend for half my trip, he edges me several times a day, for a total of three hours of sex a day. Probably sounds strange compared to conventional sex but it works for us.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Shonen said:

Reading these boards will make you think everyone is having sex three times a day. It’s like listening to gamblers only bragging about their wins. 

Classic selection bias. Members tend to post when they've had an encounter ( I won't say it's bragging, because quite often the post is about a dud). Nothing to write about if there wasn't an encounter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

I don't know how you guys have the stamina ,at 62 my body won't let me ,I tried it the first week, went to gym in the morning , sightseeing during the day and walking, go Go bars,alcohol , discos ,then boys at night ,by the second week I was in bed a few days sick !!!

In a way im a bit depressing I can't do what I used to 15 years ago where I sort of lived to the fullest my vacation time 

 

your description of decreased sexual appetite is completely normal & extremely common.  Two suggestions 

1. Don’t fight it:  trying to do the things we did 10-15 years ago when moving into 60s is a recipe for disappointment.  Of course, slowing down happens & acceptance is the key

2. Maintain a routine that will optimize your physical/mental well-being:  plenty of quality rest/sleep, cutback on alcohol (aging reduces the body’s ability to process alcohol), get regular exercise of at 30 minutes each day (doesn’t need to be strenuous), eat a healthy vegetable heavy diet & if possible, some sort of meditation practice.  At a minimum, that type of routine will usually lift the depression you describe.

When anyone starts to say they feel “depressed” - be very careful bc it’s easy to get into an unhealthy pattern to self-medicate for those feelings.  Many turn to alcohol and/or sex - with the result of worsening the feelings of depression when the short term fixes wear off.  It can get into a cycle of depression very quick.  Exercise is the single best remedy for depression and a focus there often leads to better sleep, desire for a better diet, etc.  it’s the easiest and quickest thing to change.

Yes - sexual performance changes too as aging into 60s.  Find the things that still get you off and focus on that.  The things we were able to do 10-15 years ago might be possible some of the time, but not like before.  Appreciate when things exceed expectations and don’t beat yourself up when not performing as your younger self.

It’s all about acceptance, making adjustments & knowing that you can make changes to feel better. Surround yourself with people you enjoy & make you laugh.  That’s the best.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Shonen said:

Perhaps you’re a side, not top or bottom. I find myself in that category more now as I’m older. You don’t have to have an orgasm. When I’m with my money boy boyfriend for half my trip, he edges me several times a day, for a total of three hours of sex a day. Probably sounds strange compared to conventional sex but it works for us.

Hello Shonen,

Interesting what you wrote.  You are the FIRST SIDE person that I have met here in any of the forums.

We are a hard to find sub-species within the community.  Only recently, Grindr has finally given us our own distinct sexual preference category.  For many years now with PlanetRomeo - I have been asking them to also give us the SIDE category - but they continue to be reluctant - another form of discrimination within the community.  Oh well, the struggle and fight goes forward.

Shonen - thanks for being brave to share your SIDE pleasure.  More of us need to come out of the closet in order to feel safe when we sometimes receive ridicule from the people who belong to the 3 traditional categories of Top, Versatile, and Bottom.  I believe that there is a need and space to add a 4th category to our traditional set of 3 categories.

Dr. Joe Kort's announcement about GRINDR adding SIDE as a new sexual position category

SIDE definition and anecdotes

Edited by bkkmfj2648
fix grammar error
Link to comment
Share on other sites

44 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Hello Shonen,

Interesting what you wrote.  You are the FIRST SIDE person that I have met here in any of the forums.

We are a hard to find sub-species within the community.  Only recently, Grindr has finally given us our own distinct sexual preference category.  For many years now with PlanetRomeo - I have been asking them to also give us the SIDE category - but they continue to be reluctant - another form of discrimination within the community.  Oh well, the struggle and fight goes forward.

Shonen - thanks for being brave to share your SIDE pleasure.  More of us need to come out of the closet in order to feel safe when we sometimes receive ridicule from the people who belong to the 3 traditional categories of Top, Versatile, and Bottom.  I believe that there is a need and space to add a 4th category to our traditional set of 3 categories.

Dr. Joe Kort's announcement about GRINDR adding SIDE as a new sexual position category

SIDE definition and anecdotes

Nothing new here: "Side" is another way to say "No anal".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a great topic for discussion, and something that rings true for me (and for most so it seems). I used to be in the mindset that I needed to have sex with as many guys as possible and fill up my days as much as possible during my short trips and would feel guilty if I didn't, but then I kinda thought, who am I actually trying to impress? I'm on holiday and I don't want to be stressed out. I'm a bit more chill now.

2 hours ago, Londoner said:

The aim is to spend what's left of my existence living as disgracefully as possible!

I love this! Something to definitely aspire to!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Londoner said:

However, those thirty months of separation took their toll on me physically and mentally.

many of us are in the same boat - aging AND dealing with a once in a lifetime pandemic that has upended all of our expectations for our remaining years.  Sometimes if feels like collective PTSD from Covid, then add in all the stuff that comes along with normal aging and it can all be overwhelming. No surprise many people are feeling depressed given the circumstances.  

The best remedy for me was to begin a return to normal life with frequent travel as I had planned before retirement.  The actual travel experience is different, but the feeling of getting back out into the world and living life has completely changed my outlook.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

 

I don't know how you guys have the stamina ,at 62 my body won't let me ,I tried it the first week, went to gym in the morning , sightseeing during the day and walking, go Go bars,alcohol , discos ,then boys at night ,by the second week I was in bed a few days sick !!!

Look to be honest with you guys,I would never do such a long vacation again,7 weeks is just far too long!

 

 

 .

 

 

Having read your first sentence above I think you have simply overdone it.

Gym in the morning followed by walking during the day and then night time activities! Bet you don’t do that at home! No wonder you are knackered!!

7 weeks is not a long holiday. Many of us go to Thailand to escape the UK winter and stay 3 or 4 months. I do and have done so for about 18 years. I’m 75 next birthday.

I treat it as “living” there. Go out and party when I feel like it and stay out as long as I like. I don’t restrict the alcohol much but I do take take time off.

On my off days I stay in the room and no nothing much, although I do go for an hours walk every day. Sometimes I spend 3 days “off” in a row.

Just dont over do it!! 
  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...