TotallyOz Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I am not sure love is the right word. I am not sure stupidity is the right word. I am not sure there is any word that fits my feelings. I have an ex that got into a little bit of trouble before and we parted company. While time and distance separated us, I never really lost my feelings for him. I am not "In Love" with him by any means but I do love him and I do care for him. Mistakes of the past are easy to forgive but hard to forget. I decided to give one guy a second chance. While he and I will have obvious trust issues, we have both committed to giving it a second chance. Call me stupid but don't call me naive. I know what I am in for. I know what road I am taking. I take it with the utmost excitement. Why? Why would someone risk such obvious pain for the ability for another shot at a relationship? For me, the answer was easy. This guy is the one guy on earth who makes me laugh the most, almost to the point of crying. He is also the one I see the most potential. He is the one who has the most to loose in choosing a road of bad choices as he has a son and he is not just making decisions for himself. The Thai/Farang relationship has many facets that most that have not lived here will ever understand. I was at the beach a few weeks back when an acquaintance and I were talking about my old boyfriends. He said, "I always wondered what you wanted with a gaggle of straight boys." I laughed and said, "well, they made me happy." Isn't that what it boils down to in the end? I am not so much in need for the best sex on a nightly basis. I do not need the most handsome guy in town. What I have discovered is that a lot of laughter goes a long way. The one guy I have decided I want back in my life is the one that made me laugh the loudest, the hardest and the most. He is also the one I thought the most about when I was away on my soul seeking tour of Barcelona and Canada. Love is not the right word. I am not sure what the right word is. What trait do others look for in a relationship? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lvdkeyes Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 The most important thing in a relationship to me is honesty. Without it there is no trust and without trust there is nothing. How we go about finding that kind of a relationship has eluded me so far. I thought I had it, but I was mistaken so when the lies started and I saw it was a pattern I cut the strings and said "Fly away and don't come back." As it happens I made the right decision and have not had a moment's flicker of regret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luvthai Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I also have one straight guy that I think the most of. He also had a son before he turned 18 (will be 19 in Dec). Can't say it was a sexual thing with him cause I always thought he was straight. I'm not sure what would happen if he came back into my life at this point. He still lives with the gf and she is several years older than him. So I am sure the son would be number 1 for him and the gf is number 2. I don't think I could be happy being number 3 in his life. I have always wondered if I could be just friends but seems to me like it would just keep me in limbo. I commend you for being able to handly this type of friendship/relationship, your a better man than I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rainwalker Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I'm a sucker - stop that - for joy. It's that attitude, that view of life that I feed off, like some homoVamipire, the Nosferatu of sodomy. Show me a guy that meets the basic requirements - young, cute, willing, smart - and who loves to be alive and I'm a goner So, infectious joy is my weakness. There 's a great website called Fridae which positions itself as 'Empowering Gay Asia" and on that site, should you chose to list your personal profile for potential hook-ups, you are asked for a profile title. Mine says 'Looking for laughter' Here's a list of some others... -Bangkok , seeking the impossible, sigh... -J u s t A S i m p l e L i f e -Chat with me ; . I need to be in love.... -Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda... -Seek young lover who can live with me, -Good Boy!! -Lonely romantic GWM looking 4 true LOVE -Take a chance and say "hello" -On my dirt love road he he he ! -Older seeks younger -Shy -Faceless? I don't think so! -chocolate covered cherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hedda Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 The one guy I have decided I want back in my life is the one that made me laugh the loudest, the hardest and the most. Too late, dear. Milton Berle died. Seriously, I'd recommend a canister of laughing gas on every date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyOz Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 Too late, dear. Milton Berle died. Seriously, I'd recommend a canister of laughing gas on every date. LOL. Don't forget I haven't reached 40 yet so Milton was a bit before my time. Can we substitute Robyn Williams? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaybutton Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I don't see anything wrong with giving someone a second chance, depending on the circumstances and what caused the problems to begin with. Everybody makes mistakes in life, including Thai boys. If he made a mistake, that's one thing. If he intentionally set out to use you and do you harm, then that's something else and I wouldn't give a second chance under those circumstances. But if it was the kind of thing that you believe will not be repeated, then I see no reason not to try again if you would be unhappy without trying again. I would let him know you'll be watching and if he screws up in ay way again, that's it! I look at it this way: Haven't you ever made a major screw-up, and then regretted what you did and you know you'll never do anythng like that again? I think that would apply to most people. If you think it would also apply to this boy, then I'd say to give it another try. Also, if you don't, then you'll live the rest of your life wondering whether it would have worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest catawampuscat Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Some boys just get under one's skin and even thou bad stuff happens, somehow, one still enjoys the person but unfortunately, a second chance usually leads to a third or fourth and then we throw in the towel and cry uncle...But the process is fun if one can afford it financially and emotionally... I consider myself a player in this game and sometimes you bend the rules and sometimes you laugh or you cry.. Live for today, tomorrow we die... It is better to have loved and lost and so on and so on.. B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest namjai Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Well, GB, as long as you have known me, have I ever made a mistake???? LOL My usual but not oft kept plan...when something happens that makes me upset. First event: Explanation of why I am upset and hopefully a dialog with the boy. Culture and age difference is often a reason for problems. Second event: Warning of why it is getting me upset. People forget... Third event: Bye Bye because he just doesn't care. I never get loud or cause the boy embarrassment in public. And if I screw up, he gets equal time to tell me what I did wrong. Quite a few people will say that they go by the golden rule: " He who has the gold makes the rules." But I don't go along with that one at all. I try to treat whoever is with me as my equal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
