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Guest thaiworthy

The Jokes Thread

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Guest Jovianmoon

For me, it's acceptable to joke about everything and everyone, ESPECIALLY races, nationalities, religions, homosexuals, women, disabled ... Not at all abhorrent!

 

This includes pedophile jokes like this:

 

A pedophile is walking with a child in a forest. The child says: "I am scared, it's so dark here." The pedophile replies: "And I? I will have to walk all the way back alone!"

 

(My translation from the German version.)

 

A guy pulls up in his station wagon alongside a boy walking along the road and winds down the passenger-side window:

 

"I have a bag of lollies, son. If I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?"

 

The little boy replies:

 

"If you give me the whole bag I'll come in your mouth".

 

Okay, perhaps now I've gone too far with the bad-taste jokes...  :o

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Guest Jovianmoon

Sorry, I'm on something of a roll...
 

This is an old one but:

 

Q: How do you define a dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

 

A: Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog...

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Guest thaiworthy

You are old when you start to have dry dreams and wet farts.

 

Why is it so difficult to solve a redneck murder? No dental records.

 

Why does Mike Tyson cry after sex? The mace.

 

What is 6.9? 69 ruined by a period.

 

Did you know that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? It’s for dickheads.

 

My cousin’s taking Viagra and iron tablets. He’s always pointing north.

 

What should you give a woman who has everything? Penicillin.

 

Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with a five- course dinner and a bottle of wine. 

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Guest thaiworthy

I already had that picture and was waiting for a exemption from that nasty meanie Khun Fountainhall. But it never came. I'm glad somebody got to post it. Looks like some dyke already had a nibble at her other ear. Poor thing.

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Guest thaiworthy

DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!


It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!


IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!!


Shampoo Warning! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."


No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It's label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."


Problem solved! If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!

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