hank75

You may not have explored the cheaper, local areas of Bangkok yet. If you’ve only experienced Silom, that is a business and tourist district so everything is inflated. Venturing a bit further out you may be surprised at how much prices tumble which could close the gap with Chiang Mai somewhat. Likewise it is possible to build your own slower paced routine when not smack in the center.
Serious question, why is Pattaya not under consideration? I don’t rate it as a city when I only go to Thailand for just for vacation….it is unattractive, touristy, messy. But the greater Pattaya area/Chonburi would be a serious contender for retirement. It is large enough to have all urban comforts, but also has the lower prices, slower pace, great access to medical and dental care. And of course bars and nightlife should one wish. A quick ninety minute drive to Bangkok for any embassy affairs. I’m also drawn to staying near a beach though you’ve mentioned that isn’t a big factor for you.
Pattaya isn’t just the end of road for old mongers, apparently there are new upcoming residential developments further along the coast and is expected to get more cleaned up in the next 10 years. I was told by a 40-something expat couple with young children (who are on the well heeled side of things) that they are building a family house slightly outside of Pattaya with a view to it being for the weekends and later on, their retirement home.

Isaan is regular Thai!
Just the fresh air, loamy soil and bootleg whisky grows them slightly different there

You had me worried there for a hot minute. I thought that the family had tried to scam you, requested money, or done something seriously offensive like try to sell you 50 light bobs.
Perhaps you were caught off guard but this feels normal in a large family situation, being asked about your intentions when inhibitions have been lowered sufficiently by familiarity and alcohol lol. I actually found this question positive rather than the opposite.

Isaan is regular Thai!
Just the fresh air, loamy soil and bootleg whisky grows them slightly different there

Dates/locations: Bkk 2 - 9; SR 9 - 12; PP 12 - 16; Phu Quoc 16 - 20; Pattaya 20 - 29.
"First" drinks, because I got the impression that for some - beer is a hobby second only to sex, and because I hope to meet as many as possible; don't want to go bankrupt.
And then again, "first drinks" can also mean the first 4.....
Floridarob, it would b an honor and a pleasure!

You had me worried there for a hot minute. I thought that the family had tried to scam you, requested money, or done something seriously offensive like try to sell you 50 light bobs.
Perhaps you were caught off guard but this feels normal in a large family situation, being asked about your intentions when inhibitions have been lowered sufficiently by familiarity and alcohol lol. I actually found this question positive rather than the opposite.

Well, I might need to re-think this car idea. The sister, brother-in-law and two nephews are still in town, but will be heading to Siem Reap tomorrow. I learned from Cam that they actually drove to Battambang in a mid-size SUV. When he told me that I was surprised because I had previously asked him if anyone in his family actually had a car or they all used motorbikes. The only one he mentioned with an access to a 4-wheeled vehicle was his brother for the construction company. It turns out the car belongs to someone in the brother-in-law's family. They had borrowed the car for this trip. It would seem the car is more community property. lol. Not so sure I am comfortable with this idea, so it may require some serious conversations with Cam regarding use of the vehicle if I do get one. I rarely let anyone drive my vehicle back in the US.
Also learned that the brother-in-law is traveling around this area of Cambodia trying to sell these small battery operated lights. He traveled to Thailand...not sure how he managed to cross the border...and bought 200 of these things to sell back in Cambodia. I think he has managed to unload around 150 of them now, so is planning to get rid of the rest in Siem Reap. They strike me as more a night market item, but that is just me. Back in US, it would be something you could find at the dollar store. I could see someone hanging them outdoors as decorative lights around a deck or maybe using one as a night light for a child's room. It uses a lithium battery. They gave me one as a gift. Think I will leave it with Cam, though, and not try to take it back to the US with me. Air carriers are funny about lithium batteries these days. There are all sorts of rules and regulations about them.
As usual, whenever the family gets together it somehow manages to turn into a drinking party. They are staying with some relatives, and we ended up going there to visit late in the afternoon for a couple of hours. Within minutes, out comes the beer. I kept my mouth shut, but Cam was watching me and knew I was counting the number of beers he had to drink. lol. I will say he behaved himself better this time and stopped after four beers. No idea how many the other people had to drink...I wasn't concerned about them. Knowing that sooner or later I would be getting on the back of the motorbike with Cam to head back to our Airbnb, I was definitely keeping count of how much he was drinking. I had taken a ham & cheese wrap from Starbucks with me as I had not eaten any lunch, but the 4 year old nephew ending up eating that...and the bag of cookies I took. I was left with the coconut water provided by the sister. There was also some raw salmon which I thought best if I pass up. Not a huge seafood fan to begin with, nor do I really care for sushi or sashimi under the best of circumstances. To me this had food poisoning written all over it. To be honest...I am ready for the family to move on to Siem Reap.

Last evening was definitely one I will not forget any time soon.  It was surprising, and I might possibly even say shocking…at least it shocked me.  Let me set the scene…
We knew his sister and brother-in-law would be leaving this morning for Siem Reap, then return home to Banteay Meanchey province sometime Monday.  The goal was to sell all 200 light gizmo’s before returning.  I don’t know what their actual cost was, but they were selling them for $6 USD each.  No idea what the end price was to the customer, as he was really only selling them to vendors at that price.  He had already sold 150, so only 50 were remaining to be sold in Siem Reap.
Anyway, I had mentioned to Cam early yesterday morning that instead of going over that evening to the relative’s house and having dinner with who knows how many people, why didn’t we invite his sister, brother-in-law and nephews over to the Airbnb.  I could either cook something or we could pick something up.  Either way, it would be a much smaller and intimate setting than the chaos and party atmosphere from the previous night.  I was also thinking that I could control the alcohol consumption better since we would be providing the liquid refreshment.  lol.  Cam actually liked the idea, and discussed it with his sister.  Cam decided to go and pick up some things rather than have me cook a lot of food, so he got a whole duck, crispy pork, spicy chicken, five individual servings of rice, along with various vegetables and sauces.  He wanted some seafood, but they were all out at the place he went.  We also bought ice and 9 cans of beer.  I was satisfied with that number, as it would allow for three each.  Ice in beer is just so strange to me.  They arrived at our place shortly after 7pm.  There was casual conversation, most of which I did not understand.  Cam would pull out his phone and use Google Translate sometimes, although I don’t think his brother-in-law or sister had ever used that app before.  It seemed totally foreign to them.  It is quite possible I am the only foreigner they have ever met, so I guess that is understandable.  I didn’t even try using Google Translate when we were at his parents and everyone was around.  It was just too complicated.  Some things Cam would explain to me, but otherwise I just listened and smiled a lot.  I started setting food out on the coffee table to be shared by all.  Cam was getting ice out of the freezer and the 4 year old had followed him to the kitchen.  His eye was immediately drawn to the Magnum ice cream bar I had in the freezer.  Cam brought it out and asked his sister if it as okay for him to have it.  She said yes, so the nephew enjoyed ice cream for his dinner.  He may have had a couple of bites of duck, but primarily devoured the ice cream bar.  lol.
Okay, so here comes the surprising or shocking part for me…as we were eating and they are chatting away, the brother-in-law asked Cam to use his phone to translate as he had a very important question he needed to ask me.  Cam provided the phone, and had to assist him a little.  When speaking into Translate on the phone, they wouldn’t speak fast enough or loud enough so it would often only translate one or two words.  I had no idea what this important question was, but was anticipating a request for financial assistance or support of some sort…help building the new house, help with the business, or some other help that would separate me from my money.   I really had no clue, but certainly did not expect what came next.  Even though Cam was helping with the translation app on his phone, he was holding the 8 month old baby and playing with him at the same time, so was not totally tuned in to the conversation or question.  So, brother-in-law asks the question:  “The family wants to know if I love their younger brother?”  This took me totally by surprise and caught me off guard.  I wasn’t sure how to respond.  I turned to Cam and asked him if he heard the question.  He had not, as I suspected, because of playing with the baby.  I held up the phone and showed him Google Translate, then asked him what I should say.  My hesitation to respond comes from not being 100% sure what Cam has told his family regarding our relationship.  I was not sure how to respond as I did not want to say something that would create problems or issues for Cam with his family.  While they have all been very welcoming and friendly, treating me like a member of the family, what discussions Cam has had with his family in private I do not know.  Cam said ‘no problem’…just tell them how you feel…so I replied in the affirmative, that yes, I did love Cam.  Evidently, the brother-in-law had been elected the designated spokesperson for the family.  I think the family just wanted that confirmation and reassurance from me.  It was just totally unexpected and came out of nowhere.
Oh, and my idea of controlling the alcohol consumption was a huge failure.  Prior to arriving at our place for dinner, the brother-in-law had already consumed a couple of beers.  After we finished eating, it was decided to go walk around the nearby night market.  After exploring a few shops…where they insisted on purchasing me a hat that said ‘Cambodia’ as a gift…we went to what looked like a food court area to me with a number of stalls.  Mind you, we had just finished eating duck, pork and chicken, but they ordered these jumbo steamed or boiled shrimp, a plate with some sort of tiny unopened clams, a plate of french fries, and a large pitcher of beer…which managed to be refilled twice!!!  I just cannot win on this front.  It is a family of alcoholics!  We were walking distance from the Airbnb, so I wasn’t too concerned about us getting home safely, but I did worry about the brother-in-law driving back to the relatives with sister and two small children.  I guess they made it safely as the sister called this morning just before they left for Siem Reap.
I was also informed that before my return to the US they are planning some type of family get-together with everyone once again...all the siblings, spouses, and 14 grandchildren.  I guess that means another trip to his hometown unless they all decide to descend on us in Battambang.  I truly am just having to let go of my natural instincts to plan everything and simply go with the flow.

Grab, yes, but no Bolt here. There is another one that seems to be more popular in general in Cambodia called PassApp. We have used it a couple of times. I honestly don't mind the motorbike, but insist we both wear the helmets and Cam is careful when I am on the bike, not taking any risks. In fact, I have often thought to myself if I were the one driving I would have gone faster or wouldn't have waited on that car or truck. lol. I do believe when I am not on the bike he is a speed demon, but at least with me he is careful. I would probably be more of a risk taker. Roads are definitely questionable in some places all over Cambodia...not just in Battambang. Rural areas around his home town and out to the farm definitely made for some rough rides. Even in Siem Reap some roads were questionable. I don't believe it is limited to Battambang. Since I haven't been to Phnom Penh, I don't know what their roads are like. As for traffic, the big thing I notice is the infrastructure simply cannot handle the number of vehicles, regardless of where you are. Mostly two lane roads, whether paved, concrete, or dirt/mud and too many motorbikes, tuk-tuks, remorks, bikes, cars, trucks, buses...it only takes one slowpoke leading the pack to bring everything to a screeching halt. lol.

I have encountered this too with my guy. I think they are trying to keep the beer cold as they usually drink outdoors in the heat. Regardless I think it’s good for all that alcohol consumption to be diluted and they’re getting some hydration. I am not a fast drinker so it made my beer repulsive.

You had me worried there for a hot minute. I thought that the family had tried to scam you, requested money, or done something seriously offensive like try to sell you 50 light bobs.
Perhaps you were caught off guard but this feels normal in a large family situation, being asked about your intentions when inhibitions have been lowered sufficiently by familiarity and alcohol lol. I actually found this question positive rather than the opposite.

You had me worried there for a hot minute. I thought that the family had tried to scam you, requested money, or done something seriously offensive like try to sell you 50 light bobs.
Perhaps you were caught off guard but this feels normal in a large family situation, being asked about your intentions when inhibitions have been lowered sufficiently by familiarity and alcohol lol. I actually found this question positive rather than the opposite.

My ex Cambodian guy wears one (not given by me). A plain gold ring like a male wedding band as you said, but on his middle finger. Cambodians love gold accessories as much as Thais do, though the obsession doesn’t run as deep since many can’t afford gold. Rings in Cambodia have the usual partnership and commitment implications as anywhere else, but they can also be given by a special older friend to a younger one. And while there can be some suggestion of romantic partnership it is not as symbolically specific as the Western giving of rings. In my guy’s case he was gifted the ring by an overseas older Cambodian sponsor who bought another ring for another boy at the same time.
Generally the baseline message is “there is someone in my life who loves and cares enough about me to buy me an expensive ring” and also a bit of a flex that you are wearing the equivalent of 10-15000 baht on your finger, when everyone is on minimum wage. And a suggestion that you are “spoken for” but not necessarily as I know as my guy continues to wear his ring even after he and his sponsor parted ways. As does a Cambodian girl i know who still wears a diamond-looking ring from a past engagement.
TLDR looks nice, is a flex
one important thing to note @jimmie50 is that Cam’s wearing of a ring reflects well on you as it does him in front of friends and family

This is a very good question and indeed the basis of my recommendation earlier. I just assumed @jimmie50 was acknowledged as “son in law” already which maybe I should have stated
lol coming from an Asian background we are always calculating cash gifts especially for Chinese weddings, where the bride and groom expect red packet money to help them offset the cost of inviting you as a guest. It’s a complex calculation process based on how much the wedding would cost per head added to what the happy couple actually expects based on your relationship with them. And only straight couples bother with this irritating hoopla. Eventually I gave up and just started declining wedding invitations. There are entire online “guides” on how much to gift at weddings, to parents at Chinese New Year, to relatives and so on.
Regarding jimmie50’s situation my thought process was that he occupies the position of “spouse” or “son in law” and this is the first official festivity with them. There may be an expectation that being more senior than Cam and better financed, he contributes more. If Cam is contributing 8000, a 2000 baht increase to 10,000 seems sufficient to give face to all parties but without digging too big a hole. Jimmie and Cam do seem to have an excellent relationship where this like other gnarly issues can be discussed out. It may that Cam volunteers Jimmie contributes less say 5000 baht but I think it’s always appreciated to match or offer more. It really depends if he wants to set the tone he is part of the family or not yet.

We used to call this a granny flat. What is the Cambodian equivalent for this I wonder? House of Falang?

The taxi system is now efficient and uncomplicated unless a massive queue has built up. As @captainmick has said, you can insist on metered fare and the driver will ask for extra to take the highway, for which a receipt is provided. Or he may ask you for a flat amount (usually 500) the profit to him is so little that there is no harm to agree. I have not been “scammed” for many years of taking airport taxis.
Only once the driver tried to move off without switching on the meter while asking for a higher flat rate. I told him firmly either he charged the meter rate, or I would exit the taxi, walk back to the taxi rank and he would have to leave the airport terminal with no passenger and join the long queue all over again. Worked like a charm.

The taxi system is now efficient and uncomplicated unless a massive queue has built up. As @captainmick has said, you can insist on metered fare and the driver will ask for extra to take the highway, for which a receipt is provided. Or he may ask you for a flat amount (usually 500) the profit to him is so little that there is no harm to agree. I have not been “scammed” for many years of taking airport taxis.
Only once the driver tried to move off without switching on the meter while asking for a higher flat rate. I told him firmly either he charged the meter rate, or I would exit the taxi, walk back to the taxi rank and he would have to leave the airport terminal with no passenger and join the long queue all over again. Worked like a charm.

That’s the old Shangri La, the new one is 500 AUD on a reasonable day and I can assure you it’s not worth it in the slightest.

Many of the boys enjoy drinking and are tremendous fun. As for safety, the only danger I have encountered is waking up the next morning finding out I’ve spent twice what I intended by not wisely ordering a bottle in Jupiter at the start of the evening and instead doing stupid things like ordering it from hotel room service menu. Or from the Lao boy at Moonlight who turned out to be a champion vomitter after imbibing too much.
Jokes aside I have always felt remarkably safe in Bangkok and especially in Silom. I have never encountered any theft or dishonestly from barboys. When we go to a club, the guy will always follow me to the toilet to ensure I don’t encounter any misadventure. It’s a story for another time but there used to be a code of conduct that they weren’t prostitutes but entertainers who “take care”.
I would never do the same in the Philippines.

More at risk from the motorcycles than the breakfasts, to my way of looking at it

Depending on what exactly you use these quite often get dispensed without a prescription in normal Thai pharmacies so you can easily stock up if you travel there occasionally.

Probably should check out Joyzone and GASS too if you don’t necessarily want to off someone

@jimmie50 I’m sure you didn’t envision yourself starting your retirement adventure in a crowded village house, using outhouse toilets and enduring drunken karaoke! Hang in there.
Your reports are bringing back memories of spending Songkran with my ex guy in Siem Reap where I was invited to partake in the “festivities” with his friends and relatives. Will recap that here when I am less exhausted, it’s been a dinger of a week. All I can say is you have far more fortitude than I did; a day was more than too much for me.
On a serious note, be careful whatever you consume is fully cooked. I didn’t like the sound of collecting rainwater in vats to cook and wash with. Sounds like a case food poisoning or bacterial infection around the corner.

Probably should check out Joyzone and GASS too if you don’t necessarily want to off someone

From my ex guy (and others) I received the sense that adult life expectancy was relatively short in Cambodia. Parents in their early 50s were described as “very old” and on their last legs. Several boys I know lost a parent at a young age. Excessive drinking among other factors is a likely contributor! Added on to a hard farming life….malnutrition… poor healthcare. My ex guy’s mother was so riddled with gout and ailments she could be barely walk.