joizy

I arrived in Catania this afternoon. Guys started messaging me on Grindr on the way. Most of them hadn’t read my profile. My profile is still looking for language exchange, someone to show me around in exchange for English conversation. I did this in Colombia and actually met some great guys and not all of it was sexual. Italians just don’t seem to read. The fine print is that I am only looking to suck. Actually it’s not that fine. It’s pretty clear. So usually what happens is they say “ciao” and don’t send any photos and have blank profiles. I’ll send a pre-written response “no photo no chat” and they’ll send a face pic. Maybe a crotch shot but wearing clothes. Sometimes an ass pic. In the unlikely event that they send a dick pic, it’s usually not that appealing. There were a few exceptions as well neared Catania. A Libyan guy with a nice dick who wanted to get sucked. I told him I was on the train and I’d message him when I got settled. I messaged him as I was eating lunch but he didn’t respond. He finally did later and said I was busy. The implication was he found someone else. He said he was ready to explode. Ok, the one that got away. He continued to send me dick pics though and wants to stay in touch. Ok, whatever. A couple messaged me. I didn’t realize they were a couple at first, but now can see the photos are of two different guys. I told them I just wanted to suck. They were okay with that. We had plans for after 8 this evening. They just messaged me and asked for my hot photos. That usually means they want to see a dick pic and they’re looking for hung. So in other words, not just someone who will suck them off. Couples are awkward anyway. I just messaged back and said, “it’s ok, you’re obviously looking for something else”. They didn’t respond. Chat GPT kind of prepared me for this. I would get a lot of messages, but little follow through. I discovered there is at least one sauna here, so that means more opportunities for guys to go somewhere and meet. One guy messaged me earlier. Nice dick, decent body. Young. Wanted a blow job. All looked good. He asked for a “regalo”. I asked how much and he said 20 euros. Previously, I was suspicious of those asking for so little, but someone here said that is the norm in the Med, so I said ok. He came here. Looked a little different from his pic, even though I couldn’t see his full face in his pic, he seemed smaller, thinner, and just not the same. We met outside, and as I went to open the door a bad smell hit me. Was it from the street? We got inside and on the elevator and I realized it was him. He smelled like he was homeless. He looked ragged. We reached the top floor and I asked to see his dick. He pulled it out and it was not 20 cm. I told him it wasn’t the same. He said he wasn’t hard. But he also wasn’t getting hard from me touching him and he smelled and I didn’t even want to bring him into the apartment, so I gave him 20 euros and we went back down and he left. He was happy. I was relieved. No more trade for me. Catania seems rough and sketchy. My first impression has not been good. Palermo immediately grabbed my attention and pulled me in. I loved it. Messina was lovely but boring. But Catania feels odd. I can’t put my finger on it. I am going to try to find a way to get away from the tourists and see if I can see something interesting in the next two days. I’m not holding out much hope as far as meeting anyone. I’ve been getting messages all day that lead to nowhere. The guys are mostly not my type, or they’re looking for big dick top daddies. But, the nice thing is the Airbnb I am renting is absolutely gorgeous. Many of the buildings in Reggio, Messina and here are art nouveau/liberty style. Really grand apartment buildings that remind me of Buenos Aires. I really wanted to see what they looked like inside. And this apartment is exactly that. It is not an investment/rental apartment, it is actually someone’s home. It’s filled with books, photos, records, and other memorabilia. Wonderful art and the interior is stunning. High vaulted painted ceilings, beautiful details everywhere. An amazing terrace. Views of Mt. Etna. The owner is an actress. I asked the woman who let me in if she’s famous and she said “sort of”. Her name is Donatella (of course) and I feel like my fabulous Italian actress friend Donatella gave me the keys to her place and is letting me stay here for a few days. So, Catania will be fun because of this place. I’m happy to just hang here for a few days and relax. I’m at the end of my trip and I am travel weary. I am tired of crowds, smokers, vespas, trains, and things that don’t work. I’m ready to go home. Hoping I will have a little more fun in Reggio before I leave, but honestly, I’ve had more sex than I thought I would so I’m happy. What I would love at this point is a spa day and a bit of pampering.

Thanks. Also had a guy in Napoli ask for 30. Wasn’t really my type but good to know it’s the going rate.

I am on my way to Catania for a few days, but thought I’d spend a few days in Messina, right across the Strait of Messina from Reggio di Calabria, where I am basing myself for a month. I was surprised at my popularity in Reggio and the number of guys I’ve met there - many hot. I was also getting hit up on Grindr by guys in Messina, so I thought I’d try my luck here. I came here for a half day (it’s 35 minutes by ferry) and liked it, and thought a few days would allow me to get to know the place better, and possibly meet some of the guys who had been messaging me. The verdict? Nice place to visit. As far as meeting guys - it’s been a bust. First, Messina. Like Reggio, it was destroyed by an earthquake and tsunami in 1908. There are a few buildings that survived, but most of it is fairly new. The style is described as art nouveau/liberty, and it gives the city a very charming feel. Grid layout, apartment buildings with lots of decoration, balconies and shutters. The weather has been great, so it’s lovely to walk around. There isn’t a whole lot to see, and cruise ships dock here almost every day, so the tourist center gets crowded with large groups. The locals have been VERY friendly. Friendlier than any place I’ve been in Italy - and I’m talking away from the center, in areas where only locals go. It’s been a really nice place to hang for a few days. Grindr has been a disappointment. I met one guy - 24 years old - slightly heavy, average body, average cock, quick bj - he seemed nervous, shy, maybe not out. I have had a lot of people message me. They apparently don’t read my profile. Many looking for daddies, but wanting big dicked top daddies, and nothing in my profile suggests that I am any of those things, so a lot of time wasters. I had one hot guy message me last night with a huge dick. He wanted a “regalo” (gift) - 30 euros just to give him a BJ. I am suspicious when the fee is so low, but I said okay. Then he said we could meet at a shopping center which is kind of far from where I am staying. I didn’t bother to reply. Were we going to do something there? Was it a set up? It wasn’t worth it. I was curious about the difference between Messina and Reggio and wondering if it was just my perception or if there really was a difference in the response rate on Grindr, so I asked Chat GPT (continuing the other chat I was having about Reggio and other Italian citiies) - here is a little of what it said. I’m amazed at how insightful it is about these differences. Reggio Calabria: ~180,000 people. Fairly spread out but feels like a large town. Locals often know each other indirectly. Messina: ~230,000 people — so slightly larger and a bit busier, especially near the port and university. 🟩 Effect on Grindr: Reggio’s smaller and more provincial feel means your profile stands out more easily — there are fewer active users at any one time, so locals notice you quickly. Messina, while not a big metropolis, has a slightly more transient flow (students, commuters, ferry travelers), which adds variety but also dilutes individual visibility. You might get attention, but not the concentrated response you get in Reggio. I also asked about Catania, so here’s the comparison between the three places. Aspect Reggio Calabria Messina Catania Size / pace Small, intimate Mid-size Big, bustling Openness Very discreet Semi-discreet Open & visible Grindr responsiveness High Moderate High but scattered Ability to stand out Very strong Moderate Moderate-low Comfort / amenities Limited Moderate Excellent

I don’t know how you guys feel about Chat GPT, for some reason it is controversial, but since my trip to Bari last year, I have been using it to help with travel planning. It helped me find off-the-beaten path places I could go to from Bari and was great. I am using it a lot on this trip. I’ve also asked about cruising places and escorts in Italy but it said it can’t tell me those things. But last night I was curious, since I feel like my experience in Reggio Calabria is different from Palermo or Napoli and I wanted to know why. Here is a little of what I got from Chad (my nickname for Chat GPT) about why Reggio Calabria is different from Palermo and Napoli: Smaller dating pool = more visibility Reggio Calabria is much smaller than Napoli or Palermo, so there are fewer users overall. In smaller cities, new or distinctive profiles stand out more — people are curious about someone new, especially if you’re from out of town. Local curiosity and openness toward visitors In smaller southern cities, locals can be more curious or enthusiastic about meeting travelers or people from outside their usual circle. You might come across as interesting, worldly, or confident, which draws people in. Demographic differences In Napoli and Palermo, there’s a wider range of people on the app, so competition can be stronger — especially among younger or more image-conscious users. In Reggio Calabria, there may be relatively fewer openly gay men your age, which could make you stand out more to those who appreciate maturity, experience, or confidence. Cultural and social dynamics In some smaller or more traditional communities, many men might not be openly gay in public life — so they rely more on apps for connection and are quicker to reach out when they see someone approachable and genuine. Your profile and presentation Sometimes subtle differences in how your profile “fits” local expectations (photos, tone, bio, etc.) can make a big difference. In Reggio Calabria, your profile might align especially well with what local men find appealing — whether that’s your age, style, or demeanor. We went on to discuss this more and then Chad helped me narrow down some places in the north where I might have similar experiences. I think this is worth further research.

I’m leaving soon, and there will be plenty for you. Seems most guys are looking for something new, not something permanent.

Took the train from Palermo back to Reggio Calabria. It felt grueling and I wish I had known there was a business/first class option (I wandered into that car looking for a restroom that was functional when we had stopped at Messina to make the ferry crossing). The seats on my train were two and two facing each other with a table. Great if you’re with a group. Not fun if you are a single guy joined by three Italian girls (now, Italian boys would have been another story). The train is loaded onto the ferry and transported to the mainland. I had to make a connection there. My connecting train was a minute early. My train from Palermo was 25 minutes late arriving. I barely made the connection. I got back to Reggio, stopped for a bergamot gelato and walked up the hill to by Airbnb. Stopped at the supermarket to buy some ground beef because it was siesta time and I knew it wouldn’t be busy. I wanted to make some bolognese for dinner. Once I got settled, I checked Grindr. A few guys had written. One German, who wrote in German, who sent a face photo that was not that different from the face photo on his profile. Like, what was the point of that? I blocked him. Another guy who was over 100 miles away. No photos. Delete. And then this guy I had forgotten about. I don’t check Planet Romeo much because I have never met anyone there, but it’s on my phone. I checked it the other night and this cutie who had written me before, contacted me again. The conversation started - “nice stash” (I have a mustache and goatee) “I would love to cum on it”. He had a nice body photo. 22 years old. But not much more info. I asked for a dick pic and he sent a nice one. I forgot about this interaction but when I checked Romeo again, he had written again asking when I’d be back. He was in Reggio. I told him and he wrote last night telling me to let him know when I was here. I forgot because I don’t use Romeo much. But there he was on Grindr, messaging me. He said we met on Planet Romeo. I checked his profile one more time, and he was definitely hot. Long story short, he just left. He was absolutely adorable. Beautiful curly hair and a face that reminded me of Michaelangelo’s David. Really cute, tight body. He was dressed fashionably in jeans and a polo shirt, very Italian looking, very nice. He was super cute. Can I say that enough? His dick was enhanced in the photo, of course, but it was a nice one. A good solid 6 inches at least. Very hard. It was big enough, and I’m glad it wasn’t bigger. He liked face fucking rough. He finished by doing as promised and came on my mustache. It was a nice welcome back. I said it before, and I’ll say it again, I absolutely love Reggio. Not just for the fact that it seems easier to meet quality guys here, but it just felt so good to get off the train and walk through the beautiful deserted streets (it was siesta time). In the other cities I visited, the streets seemed to be always filled with tourists during siesta. The supermarket in Napoli was crazy. My supermarket here had no line. If you’re looking for a place to just hang out and enjoy la dolce vita, check out Reggio Calabria. You’ll have the whole place to yourself!

I forgot I wanted to post the link to this guy to show how deceptive they get with their dick pics. His cock was about 7 inches, nice and thick, but nowhere near as large as it looked in these photos. https://megaescort.info/gay/3202809745.html

Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to report, but if you are interested in southern Italy, I would definitely recommend Bari, Reggio Calabria and Palermo as possible places to base yourself to do some travel. I’m going to Catania next week, and that may also be a good spot. Bari was really great. Not the prettiest, but also not the grittiest (Napoli is ranking number 1 in grit so far), but from Bari, it was so easy to get on the train and visit amazing old historic towns along the coast. Each one was more fascinating than the next. I found that the one the tourists all recommended were beautiful, but also a little like Italian Disneyland. The best ones were the ones the FB groups never mentioned. Calabria was a little bit more difficult to see by train, which why I’m now in Sicily. But southern Italy is just gorgeous and I am having so many first-rate experiences that tourists pay top dollar for on the Amalfi coast or Cinque Terre, yet it’s just me and the locals.

Last day in Palermo. I started off with a visit to Monreale, a small town on the outskirts of Palermo, with a beautiful cathedral and the most amazing mosaics. It was an adventure getting there by public bus, in the rain… While waiting for the bus, a few guys messaged me. One looked really hot. He sent two expiring pics, nice looking, nice cock, and then sent another non-expiring cock photo. It looked big and meaty. He was married and looking for a discreet encounter. I had a really hot time with a married guy in Philly, so this turned into much more in my mind than it ended up being. We made plans for the afternoon. Last night, after a frustrating round of Grindr games with the guy from Agrigento, I contacted an escort on ME and set up an appointment for today, also in the afternoon. We had not confirmed a time. I figured since this was my last day, I might as well go for broke. Long story short - married guy was a major disappointment. Are Italian guys just not good in bed? Or is that they don’t have enough experience? Like the guy yesterday, he kept moving around and going from one position to the next. I finally just grabbed his cock (which was much smaller in person than in the photos) and jerked him off against his protests so that he would come and go. He kept asking me if I liked it. I kept silent, and he kept asking. Did he really want the truth? Next, the escort came. I hadn’t seen his face, so I imagined him to look different, but he was actually a typical looking Italian guy. Manicured haircut, light beard, lightly hairy, gold chains, the works. He was cute in a stereotypical Italian way, but not as I had imagined him. He advertised as XL. I would say he was M. His cock was nice and thick, but no more than 7 inches. Is that XL for Italians? But he was a really nice guy and we had a good time. He asked for 100 euros and wanted me to go to his place. It was about a 17 minute walk and I am exhausted from walking so much, so I asked him to come here and said I’d give him an extra 20. I realized after reading his profile again that I didn’t need to do that because he said he could host or travel. It was money well spent though, but did not compare at all to some of the guys I met in Colombia or even Mexico. I think I am probably done looking for Mr. Goodbar. I don’t think Italian guys really have what I am looking for. I had a few hot guys in Reggio, but one was Argentine. And there were more disappointments than anything. They seem to enhance their dick pics, or use others’ photos, lie about what they are looking for, and game playing is big, they will string you on and then just ghost you. One guy put it really well on his profile - fucking time wasters and fakes. Apparently it hasn’t just been my experience. But, Palermo was a joy to visit. It is so charming, full of history and culture, and the people are very nice. If you come to Sicily, definitely put it on your list and stay for at least a week.

Palermo has been a very pleasant surprise.

Well, no surprise but the guy from Agrigento was a waste of time. I’ve learned that these guys who try to set things up in advance probably have several options to choose from. I had a strong feeling this afternoon that he wanted more than he was saying when he asked for a body pic, even though I have a pretty clear body pic on my profile. I took it to mean he wanted a dick pic, but as someone who likes to think he’s straight (my assumption) he couldn’t just come out and say that. I still had my hopes up, but just in case, I went with another option that popped up around the same time that he asked for a body pic. A young guy who was looking for mature. He looked cute in his pic and had a nice dick. He said he could come over at 3:30, which gave me enough time to finish the cannolo I was eating, get back and shower and rest a bit. When I got home, he messaged me again and asked if three was ok. I thought he meant 3:00. I guess my response clued him in so he clarified, that he had a friend he wanted to bring. The guy was 52 and had a good dick. It reminded me of the weird encounter I had last year in Puglia where a younger guy brought an older friend and they both took turns fucking me. It was weirdly hot, because I had the feeling they were both married. They were super horny and it didn’t last long. I asked if he had a pic of his friend and he said he was married, but he had a good dick. He then said we both would suck him. Ok, so this guy obviously wanted more than a blowjob even though I made it clear that was what I was offering. I decided to go ahead with it. If nothing else, I’d have a story to tell. When he didn’t show up at three, I read the message again and realized he meant three people, not three o’clock (they use military time here so he would have said 15:00). He showed up a little after 15:30, alone. He was cute in a rough trade kind of way. Slim body, some body hair, no manscaping, light brown hair, light eyes, scruffy. He asked if he could use the bathroom. I was worried he might be doing drugs because he kind of gave me that vibe. He just washed up and came out with his dick out. The sex was chaotic. We kissed a little and he was a good kisser. I tried licking his nipples but he pushed me down on his dick, but then he kept moving around. He wanted me to lick his ass, but it wasn’t clean, he wanted to suck my dick, then he had me suck his, then he wanted to fuck me,but then he wanted a condom, and when I got one, he wanted to get fucked, but he was so tight and it hurt, and he jerked off and came too quickly and that was it. He apologized and said he was too excited. Yeah, this was a guy who didn’t have sex with men often, but really wanted it. As disappointing as the whole thing was, it was also kind of hot. I was sorry his friend didn’t come. When I asked what happened, he said he was married and it was complicated. I guess he couldn’t get away. I think he also told me he was married as well. My Italian isn’t that good. I understand the gist of things, but a lot gets lost. He wants to come back tomorrow. I am not sure I want to do it again unless he brings his friend. And the guy from Agrigento made a bunch of excuses. He got in late. He was working. He is tired. But I can see he is still on Grindr. So much for that one. Also tonight I had two guys from Tunisia, and one from Sardinia message me. I don’t understand the point of messaging someone who is obviously so far away. So far, that’s only one guy I met in Palermo. One more day here, but I will be sightseeing in the morning to Monreale to see some mosaics. I know it will put me in a new area and more guys will probably contact me and nothing will come of it. I might go for the XXL taxi driver in the afternoon if he’s available, just so I don’t feel like it was a total loss.

I arrived in Palermo yesterday and will be here for a few days. First, I have to say I absolutely love it here! Arriving by train felt much less hectic than my arrival in Napoli. It was easy to get to the neighborhood where my Airbnb is, and I love the location, I love the Airbnb, and I loved the host, who met me to give me an orientation to the place. The people are warm, the weather is beautiful, and the centro storico is just stunning. Great food, vibrant markets, manageable size. It’s really the perfect location for me and I am thinking about coming back and basing myself here for a month to explore more of Sicily. As has been the pattern, as I got closer, Grindr began buzzing. Guys hit me up along the way and none of them were feasible since I was on the train and soon our distance grew from a few thousand feet to miles. A few of them were hot, most were not really my type. As I got closer to Palermo, the offers became more enticing. One in particular looks promising. He’s coming from Agrigento, probably married, wants to meet a discreet older guy. He has a huge dick, is very sexy in that swarthy Italian way, and has been messaging me all day today making me incredibly horny. Because I was tired last night when I got in, I didn’t really pursue any of the other offers, and a few messaged me today, but I was too busy enjoying Palermo and none of them were really worth putting a hold on my sightseeing. While I was eating lunch in one of the markets, I noticed a guy on Grindr who was XXL Taxista. I was intrigued, so I wrote to him and asked if he was for hire. I figured it was safe since he was a taxi driver, but hoping “for hire” might be interpreted in the other way. I was hoping to get both a tour and a big dick to suck on. As far as a tour, he wouldn’t quote me a price. He basically said the meter would determine the cost. That’s not what I wanted. But then he asked if I really wanted a tour or if I wanted sex. I told him ideally, I wanted both. He sent me a link to a site for Italian escorts. I haven’t seen anyone mention it, so here it is. https://megaescort.info/gay/palermo I messaged him on Whtasapp and he said he’d charge 200 euros, which I thought was reasonable for a massage and sex. Since I have this guy from Agrigento coming tomorrow (hopefully), I am not sure if I will also hire this guy. I might wait and see if the other guy works out, and if not, try to get this guy to come by on Wednesday. Fingers crossed for tomorrow. Otherwise, I am having a wonderful time in Palermo.

I’m heading to Palermo tomorrow for a few days. Anyone been? Any tips? i’ve had a few guys hit me up already on Grindr and Sniffies but I’ve learned you cannot always depend on advance contacts. Also any other places in Sicily worth a visit. I’m looking at Catania for a few days possibly.

In Napoli station waiting for my train back to Reggio. Looking forward to returning and possibly having some fun before I head to Palermo. Only hooked up with one guy here and it wasn’t that good. I went to Caserta yesterday and a beautiful 22-year-old messaged me on Grindr and then we switched to Telagram. He sent a few videos of him jerking a beautiful, thick cock and one cumshot. Unfortunately, I had to return to Napoli, but was tempted to get a hotel room in Caserta and spend the night. The one that got away.

My plan is to do a little Italy every year now that I am retired. I’m going go base myself in the north next year.

First day in Napoli was pretty much a bust. I went to the supermarket three times and each time it was more crowded and more hectic. I did the hop on/hop off bus and lost my ticket, so my plan to take the other route at sunset didn’t work out. I went to Quartieri Spagnoli to see all of the Maradona stuff and that was fun, but hectic. I find the city to be way too hectic, the people are gruff, it’s dirty, the food is fried and not terribly healthy. Tomorrow, I’m taking a funicular away from the hustle and bustle to a quieter neighborhood. This may be for some people, but it’s not for me. Now, as far as the men, my first day gave me unrealistic expectations. One guy completely disappeared, I guess he blocked me for some reason, even though we had no interaction other than when he messaged me last night and was only a few feet away and then moved progressively further and further away. He was my number one choice if I had any say in the matter. Another guy who messaged me last nice and had a nice cock wanted to fuck me. I told him I would do it the second time we met, and thought maybe…but today he confirmed that he only wants to meet if he can fuck me. I just said no. Quite a few guys messaged me with no photos at all. I just deleted the messages. Others sent photos but no dick pics. I did meet with one guy who looked kind of cute and had a really nice body. My mind filled in the missing details. We all know what happens when we allow that to happen. He initially wanted to meet at 7. Then he said 4, which was better for me. I thought I’d meet him and then have another later in the evening. He came here and I was immediately disappointed. It just wasn’t enjoyable in any way. I was glad when he left. And that is it. I thought I would have met several guys today, and instead, only met one who was a disappointment. This evening, a guy messaged me and sent some mediocre photos and said I could suck him but he wanted 30 euros for coke. I just blocked him. So, my theory about Reggio Calabria being much better in terms of meeting men has been strengthened. Again, when I look on Grindr here, I see mostly visitors, so for Italian men wanting to meet out-of-towners to be discreet, have many more guys to choose from. I don’t know where I am in relation to where most Neopolitans live, but Reggio is much smaller, most of the guys I met there either had cars or lived nearby, and I suspect it was much easier than it is getting around a city like Napoli. Anyway, Napoli was a nice place to visit, but I’m glad I’m only here for a few days. As far as travel, I prefer smaller, less touristy and more local. And as far as meeting men, a bigger city doesn’t always translate into more opportunities it seems. I’ll be back in Reggio for one day before heading to Palermo. Let’s see how Sicily treats me.

I have to say, I really prefer the smaller Italian cities like Reggio Calabria, and even Bari. It is hectic here and the people are rough. I did get a few smiles today, but mostly people seem tired, overworked and impatient. Still, it is very interesting. I walked to the Spanish Quarter this evening and it was what I imagined Napoli to be. I think it is a city that would take quite a while to really get to know and it would be best with a local informant. I am only going to scratch the surface in a few days.

That experience doesn’t surprise me at all. As an Italian-American, I can honestly say that I believe Italians set out in the world to make things as difficult as possible. As I was taking my shower this morning in this beautifully redone and stylish bathroom, I was trying to figure out how to say this - something like Italy is a developing country that has dressed itself up in a very stylish exterior. Things just don’t work here. And the people are not particularly friendly. Yet, it is stunning to look at. And the food. And the men. But, it seems that if we visit, we need to prepare ourselves for one aggravation after another, like my beautiful “fast” train that was 50 minutes late. This Airbnb was the most difficult for me so far. The host immediately wanted to communicate off the Airbnb platform, which we are not supposed to do. That got me worried. He wanted my email address and WhatsApp. He sent me an electronic check in which I had to complete and send him front and back photos of my ID (what exactly is the back of a passport?) and a photo of me holding my ID. Once I did that, he sent me another email with a link to something called ViKey, which is how I was to open the door. When I arrived at my metro stop (he told me to take Linea 2, but Chat GPT told me Linea 1 - Chat GPT was right, of course), I clicked on “get directions” in Airbnb and it showed me nearby hotels. It did not give me directions. I messaged my host on WhatsApp and asked him to send me the address. He read my message but didn’t respond. Then he tried to call me, but I didn’t see that. I copied the address from Airbnb and entered it into Google maps and eventually found my way here. I used ViKey to enter both doors. The door to the building was easy. The door to the apartment was more difficult, but eventually I got in. Usually on Airbnb, there is the WiFi information and often there is a way to simply connect from there. Not here. There was nothing. I messaged the host. He didn’t respond. I called him. He told me to use the QR code on the door. I tried that and it took me back to ViKey and the buttons to open the doors. He finally sent me a screen shot from ViKey. There was another page you could get to if you clicked on “more information”. Of course, no one told me that, I was just supposed to know. There was the WiFi network and the password, which was very long, but I could not just copy and paste it. I had to write it down (fortunately there is a chalkboard and chalk) and then enter it. Mammamia! This morning, I tried to make coffee with the moka pot that is here, but it wouldn’t work. I messaged the host and he said it doesn’t work with the “hob”. I guess the hob is the induction stove. I ran into this problem in Reggio. Induction stoves only work with stainless, and not aluminum. So then why is there a moka pot here if it doesn’t work? I think the worst is over, but I hope he doesn’t change the code on me in the middle of my stay. Other issues that I have had is they only give you one towel. I had to buy a knife in Reggio. When I stayed in Bari I asked him to provide one (I’ve learned it’s easier just to buy things for long stays). But the nice thing is they say nothing about guests. Even in Philly, I was told I wasn’t allowed to have guests. That didn’t stop me. But here, there are no security guards, or cameras, and nothing written about a no guest policy. I intend to have quite a few visitors if these guys come through. Ah, Italy.

Thanks. This is really the first time I’ve experienced this. It’s pretty much what I ended up doing.

I just arrived in Napoli. The train was supposed to be 5 hours from Reggio Calabria. It was very slow moving in the beginning and we arrived 50 minutes late. I thought Mussolini had gotten the trains to run on time… Anyway, as soon as I started to get close to the central station my phone started blowing up. I was preparing for my arrival, checking the instructions Chat GPT had written for me on how to use the metro, and also looking for restaurant options in the station so I could eat before getting on the metro to head to my Airbnb. I wasn’t answering people, but I was looking at their messages. One guy was very insistent. I finally told him I was on the train and was just arriving and asked him to please wait. He kept insisting that I send him photos, even though I have all of the photos I share on my profile, so I finally blocked him, even though I was kind of interested in him. He was way too aggressive. That is one difference I have noted immediately between the guys here and the guys in Reggio. Only one guy from Sicily who messaged me when I was in Messina got aggressive with me. When I didn’t answer him right away, he wrote, “thank you for the response”, so I just blocked him. He was somewhere in Sicily that I was not going to visit, and isn’t a non-response a response anyway? I arrived at the station and found a food court. Had some decent carbonara and a salad without dressing, and then took the metro to my stop. Successfully found my Airbnb, after some struggle with the host, got the WiFi code and finally got connected and settled. All through this, Grindr was blowing up. Guys writing and asking where I was from, even though my screen name says “scambio 🇮🇹🇺🇸” and I say up front that I am an American in Napoli for a few days. My profile is still that I am looking for someone to show me around and do language exchange, because honestly, that is what I want, but these guys are horny and insistent. They jump straight to the end of my profile where I say clearly, “I only suck”. Some question that. Some want to know if they can suck me. Some want to know if I get fucked. In the short time I’ve been here (about 3 hours now), I have blocked several people because they just would not stop, even when I said, “I’m looking for my Airbnb, please wait” or “I just got here, give me a minute”, or if I didn’t respond at all, they continued messaging me and said things like “I’m too ugly?” Or “You’re not interested?” The good news is I have several prospects lined up who look like they might be fun. Nice meaty dicks, nice bodies, handsome faces. One wants to fuck me but I told him I only fuck the second time we meet. If I’m going to do all of that prep, i want to make sure it’s worth it. He kept pushing, but I finally told him “that’s what makes it special” and I think he was satisfied. One thing I did notice is that there are a LOT of visitors. So, I can add one more thing to my list of why I was so popular in Reggio - very little competition. If Italians are looking for foreigners because they feel they are more discreet encounters, then in Reggio there is very little competition because it’s not high on the list of places foreigners visit. I only have a few days here, and I actually want to do some sightseeing, so I am going to be selective about who I meet. So far, it looks encouraging. Oh, also, a guy wrote to me in English (all of the others were writing in Italian) and asked, “Are you in my home?” - he sent only a face photo. We chatted a little and he sent restaurant recommendations and suggestions about places to visit. It doesn’t really look like anything will happen beyond that with him, but it was nice to have a neighbor reach out. Napoli is about 5 times the size of Reggio, so there will be more guys here, but also more competition. Stay tuned.

Yesterday, I took the ferry from Reggio Calabria to Messina, Sicily, right across the strait. It was a 30-minute, easy ride. A lot of new men contacted me while I was there, but I didn’t meet anyone since they were either visiting and could not host, or they were outside of Messina. I’d formerly had guys from Messina contact me since on Grindr you can’t really tell if people are in Calabria or Sicily (it just shows distances). I contacted one of them and told him I was there, but he never got back to me even though he read my message - not uncommon for Grindr. When I returned to Reggio, several guys contacted me almost as soon as I got off the ferry. One was TGTBT - too good too be true - really cute young guy with a beautiful body, amazing bubble butt and huge dick. I asked him where he was and he said Reggio. And then that was it. He didn’t respond to any of my messages. I’m sure he was catfishing me. I will never understand that behavior, but it happens. Maybe someone I rejected earlier trying to have some fun with me. Another guy, 29 years old sent a photo of a nice cock and had several face photos on his profile. He wanted to come over, I sent him the address and he said it would be about 20 minutes. Then he asked if he could bring a friend. I asked what he wanted to do and he said I could suck them both. I’m not a fan of threesomes, and this sounded especially weird, but I figured I’d go for it. I’d have a story to tell. He said he wasn’t sure if his friend was coming or not, which made the whole thing even stranger. When he arrived, I went down to let him in. I didn’t recognize him at first - he looked more German than Italian (or at least my idea of what Germans look like) - he actually looked like my cousin when he was younger, who was half German/half Italian. We came up and he wanted to sit and chat, which was fine with me. He told me he didn’t think his friend was coming. He showed me a photo of the guy on Grindr, and he was definitely not my type. Turned out he was not a friend, just some other guy he met on Grindr who he invited to join him in coming to my place. Ok, strange, right? But this guy, Bruno, turned out to be really nice and very interesting. I opened a bottle of wine, he ran out to get some tobacco because he forgot his, and we sat and talked and drank wine and he went out to the balcony to smoke a cigarette and we talked some more. One interesting thing he said to me was as an older gay, I have so much experience to share and then he proceeded to ask me questions about what it was like when I came out, what it was like living through the 80s and 90s, how it felt being older, etc. I really enjoyed talking to him. We also talked about his coming out experience, life in Calabria, and life in Turino, where he lives now. Finally, we went into the bedroom and had sex. I discovered that he had also catfished me and the dick pic he sent was not his own, but still he had a decent-sized (average) cock and I didn’t mind that he had lied. Our conversation confirmed a few things I had been thinking about why I am getting hit on here more than I have in other places, including at home. First, because there are no bars, baths, etc., there really are no ways for guys to meet each other beyond Grindr, which seems to be the main app in use here. People like me (visitors) are popular because usually we can host, where guys living with families (including wives) cannot, and since we’re not from here, they can be more discreet and not be discovered by people they might know. This part of Italy is much less accepting than the north, where people are more open about their sexuality. We talked about the “daddy” fetish, and Bruno said it’s because people see daddies as kind of virile. So they have a fantasy about being with a daddy. Even though I’m an oral bottom, I still fit into that fantasy, but I imagine if you are a top you’ll make out even better. And then based on what he said when we first started talking, I suspect there is more of a respect for age here than there is in our youth-obsessed culture in the US. I was really struck by him acknowledging that he had things he could learn from me. Even though this is a relatively small city (about 160,000 people), I have really been busy. It’s been so much fun. And even though this was not the best hookup sex-wise, the conversation was incredible. It was so nice to sit, drink wine and talk. I’m off to Napoli for a few days tomorrow, so we’ll see what that’s like. Stay tuned.

I really thought the fun was over, and after a few fails, thought my luck had run out, but it hasn’t. Every day a new guy contacts me on Grindr, and yesterday, one of the ones who had contacted me early on finally came over after several days of messages that went nowhere. This guy turned out to be a really nice surprise. He initially sent a face pic and a full body pic. He was 29, not particularly good-looking, but had an interesting face that kind of reflected the mixed heritage of people in this part of Italy. He looked southern Italian, but you could see traces of Arab and Greek ancestry. He was dark and hairy. He had a nice thin, naturally muscled body and a nice looking cock. After I sent him my pics, he sent me two other pics of his hard cock. It looked nice and thick but I couldn’t tell how big it was because of the angle. Still, it was big enough to enjoy. He messaged me yesterday afternoon and asked if he could come over. I gave him the address and he was here within minutes. We came up and he asked if he could wash first. He went into the bathroom and used the bidet to wash and came out with his pants around his knees and his flaccid dick hanging there. It looked so nice and juicy. We started kissing and I could feel his cock start pressing against me. I reached down to feel it, and it was huge. A really nice big, fat cock. We played a little and I started sucking him. He pulled my head up and began kissing me. I went back down and began sucking more and again he pulled my head up. I wasn’t reading the signs correctly. I thought he really just liked kissing, but actually it was that he was so close. This time it was too late. He pulled my head away from his cock and made a face like “uh oh” and shot a huge load on himself. It was still fun. And the best part was after he washed, we just lay together in bed chatting. He was such an interesting guy and we had a really nice conversation. He spoke very good English, which we switched to after he realized the extent of my Italian. He also spoke Norwegian and local dialect. He answered a lot of my questions that had been building up over the past two weeks. I enjoyed playing with the thick mat of hair on his chest. I thought about trying to suck him again since he had not pulled his pants up, and I think maybe he was hoping I would, but finally he said he had to go. Later in the evening he messaged me again and told me how much he enjoyed it. Looks like we will meet again. I also was hit up by a guy in Catania who seemed really insistent on wanting to meet. When I said it was far, he said he had a car and could come here. I had a hard time believing this hot guy would drive all the way from Catania just to see me. But then he said he was going to Napoli and could stop here on the way. Coincidentally, I am also going to be in Napoli while he is there, so we have plans to meet. Another cutie contacted me last night wanting “soft sex”. When I asked what that was, he said “licking, kissing, caressing and two fingers inside”. I am not sure whose fingers are going into whom, but, I said I was tired and we could do it another day. He is really cute though, so I am happy to try something new if he wants. As far as gay for pay opportunities, one more guy approached me for money. He sent photos of a not very impressive cock. He was 18 and about 30 miles away. I really wasn’t interested and he didn’t mention money at first. He was persistent though and eventually said he wanted money. I told him I didn’t have to pay for dick, which has been true here. Then he said I would have to pay him first. So it was a scam. Yeah, I’m going to send you money and then wait for you to show up. I just blocked him. I am really having fun here and I’ve been meeting guys who I would not normally be attracted to. The guy from yesterday was not really my type, I prefer smooth to hairy, but it was so much fun and besides the sex, just nice to hang out with him. And I really was turned on by the thick hair on his chest. I am expanding my horizons. My Argentine neighbor still comes by regularly, and after speaking Italian initially, then Spanish, we’ve switched to English. He is super sweet, very handsome and has such a big juicy cock that he loves having sucked. Reggio Calabria has turned out to be quite a pleasant surprise.

Rather than start a new topic, I’ll just continue here. The adventure in Reggio Calabria continues. First, I want to say I really love it here. It’s a small city, newish by Italian standards (much of it was destroyed by an earthquake and tsunami in 1908), but old historically. I’ve been mostly eating at home, but the supermarkets and produce markets have been delightful, but what food I have eaten out has been amazing. And, I still keep getting guys hitting me up on Grindr. Yesterday, a good-looking man in his 30s contacted me and said he was working nearby and wanted a blow job. He said he’d be done in 30 minutes, and in 30 minutes contacted me and came over soon after. It was a relief after so many others had contacted me and then ghosted me. I met him outside and was pleased to see that he was dressed in a suit (if I have any fetishes, I guess it is guys in suits), and was very good-looking. We came up and started fooling around. Okay, long story short, he never came. He got fully hard once or twice, but then would lose his erection. This went on for a while until I could see he wasn’t going to cum and I just laid beside him. We continued caressing each other and then finally he said he had to go. It wasn’t a terrible encounter, but I don’t think it was really satisfying for either one of us. Today my sexy Argentine neighbor wrote and asked when we could meet. I responded, “when do you want to meet?” and that was the last I heard from him. I am guessing he got a better offer. I still don’t understand why guys do that, but I guess if I were younger and hotter and had multiple offers, I might be doing the same. But as I was waiting for his response, I heard from another guy I’d been going back and forth with. His Grindr name is cazzoadomicilio - which translates more or less to “dick home deliver”. I love the name. He said he is a 37-year-old top who likes to be used kind of like a slave. He had a thin sexy body and a nice cock. The issue was he would always contact me late at night, and then say he had to eat dinner first so that by the time he would get here it would be even later. I was still recovering from jet lag and I normally go to bed early anyway, so it never worked out. I was glad to hear from him in the afternoon. He turned out to be everything he said and matched his photos. We had a nice time and he shot a massive load all over me. He then messaged me when he got home and said he had a great time and would like to see me again. As far as the score goes with wins and losses, I’m still coming out ahead here even with a few fails. A few nights ago, a cutie with a nice cock contacted me and said he wanted a blow job. Then he told me he was a “scort”. Turned out he was Colombian. He was asking for 100 euros. He said he also had a friend, but the photo he sent of his friend’s dick didn’t interest me unless I was going to get both for 100. But, because I’m still getting plenty of free dick, I am still not sure if I want to pay, especially just to give someone a blow job. I just figured I’d mention him since I know we have a lot of fans of Colombian men here. He is only the second guy on Grindr to ask for money. And remember, I am 65 years-old, so if they were going to be asking anyone, they would definitely be asking me. I wrote to the cutie I met last week and asked him if he would be interested in being my guide. I said I’d pay him of course. I think he’s not working here because he’s taking care of his mom and I know he has a car. I thought he might need some extra money, he is super adorable, and we had great conversation. He said he would love it, but he thinks he is the worst person for this because he’s a little ignorant and would not be able to give me a good tour. I told him I don’t want anyone to explain anything to me, I just wanted to see some different places. That’s where we left it. I’m wondering if I should name a price and see if he responds to that. Today marks a full week I’ve been here and now that the dust has settled a bit, I can still say it’s been a very positive experience with Grindr. I can see that a lot of the guys who contacted me early on (other than my Argentine neighbor) were not really serious, but maybe hoping for more and when they realized I was not their fantasy just kind of dropped off. I’ve still had enough satisfying contacts that I will miss it when I get back to the sex desert I call home. I reserved an Airbnb in Palermo for four nights in a few weeks, and I’ve already had guys from Palermo contact me. Whether they will be interested when I am actually there is not clear, but I am looking forward to seeing a little of Sicily and also seeing who ends up in my bed.

Sometimes our little brain takes over. I realize I do have issues setting boundaries, but I am proud of myself for at least stopping it when it finally hit me that it was not what I had agreed to. Younger me would have probably let him fuck me even if I didn’t enjoy it.

Well, I’ve been pretty lucky here in Reggio and surprised at the number of hot guys I’ve met and how many have contacted me - from as far away as Malta! But today was not a good experience. I know we all like to share our victories here, but I do think there is value in sharing our failures as well. I’ve definitely learned from this experience. A few days ago a guy contacted me on Grindr. He sent a photo from mid-belly down of a very nice looking cock oozing cum. He was thick and his belly was hairy. My mind filled in the rest (lesson 1 learned - don’t depend on your fantasy). We messaged a bit on Grindr and then he asked if I had Telegram. We switched. I had told him clearly what I was looking for (to suck). He asked a lot of questions (I don’t remember at this point and I deleted our chat) and finally I told him I was out walking and would message him when I got home, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested in all of this chatter. I like to either seal the deal or move on. We didn’t continue that night. The next night he message me and asked me if I had come. I told him no. He asked why but I didn’t answer. Today, Sunday, he messaged me and told me he was at the Duomo, which is only a few blocks from where I’m staying. I said he was near. He asked for my location and I sent it. And then I got the Grindr silence… nothing for about 15 minutes. Finally, I told him I guessed he was looking for something better. I imagine when this happens, either they are engaged in multiple conversations or they have actually lost interest and moved on. I have started calling it out because I think it’s incredibly bad behavior, and I’d rather be told that they’ve moved on than to be kept hanging. He finally responded and said he was trying to come to me. I am not sure what that meant. All he had to do was walk a few blocks. More silence. Then he asked if I wanted him to come. This was my way out. I My gut said no, but I figured we were this close, so why not? I repeated again that I only wanted to suck and he said it was okay. Next I got a message that he was outside. I went down to meet him on the street (my entrance is in a courtyard and I don’t know how to give directions in Italian to find the door). I walked out to the street and no one was there. He messaged me again and said he was in front of the hair salon. I knew where that was, so I walked in that direction, but saw no one. Then, he came from the completely opposite direction. (Now, I’m wondering if he had done that so that he could check me out while he was hiding at the other end of the street.) My mind had him as a middle-aged, dark, swarthy, thick Italian type. Instead, he looked more like Nathan Lane. I love Nathan Lane, but he is not my fantasy type. He was doughy, feminine and he came walking up to me speaking a mile a minute apparently complaining about how hard it was for him to find me. I probably had a deer in the headlights look but it took him a while to figure out that I didn’t know what he was saying. He slowed down and spoke louder. I understood some things, but couldn’t find the words to answer him. I was mostly regretting my decision and hoping that his dick was as nice as it looked in the photo. Oh, I should also add that he smelled like the first floor in a department store. People here seem to be very fond of perfumes, colognes and cheap air fresheners. I don’t mind a nice scent, but I despise cheap ones. This one was cheap smelling (it probably wasn’t, but I didn’t like the smell). He was wearing way too much. We came up to my apartment and spoke briefly before going into the bedroom. He made the first move by reaching for my crotch. I guess he didn’t understand “I only want to suck” even though I’d written it in Italian. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll just let him suck me off if he can get me hard (not likely since I had no attraction to him at all, but it was his challenge to meet). He took off his clothes and continued playing with me (I had stripped fully). Then, he started trying to kiss me. That wasn’t in the bargain either. He had bad breath, smelled of cologne and sweat and I wasn’t attracted. I was not going to kiss him. I moved my face to the side, but he persisted, and persisted, and persisted. He just would not give up. He kept moving me around. Putting me on the bed where he started to suck me, but then he wanted me to suck him, but then he tried to kiss me again, this time pinning me to the bed so that I had to push him off of me, and then he wanted to fuck me. I was communicating in every way I could non-verbally that I was not interested in any of those things. I would have let him suck me off, but he was super aggressive and hyped up on too many espresso. He told me to suck him, so I got up and pushed him back on the bed and started sucking his cock. It was sticky and a little cheesy (which turned me off). It also didn’t seem as big as it was in the photo. I barely sucked it when he stood me up again and this time tried to turn me around to fuck me. That was the last straw for me. I picked up my shorts which were next to the bed and put them on. He began getting slightly hysterical - ‘why, what is wrong? I came 30 kilometers’ (not to see me though because he said he went to church)…he barely gave me time to answer. I used my translator app and told him that I had said I only wanted to suck but he wanted more. He said, “okay, okay, only suck”, but it was too late and he knew it too because he had also started getting dressed. I was a little worried that he would get violent or become overly hysterical, but I think he knew deep down that we were not a match. He wanted more than I was willing to offer and he knew it. The kicker was that he then asked if I still wanted to meet him some afternoon. Had he had too much wine at church? In what world would he think I’d still want to meet him? Okay, so now I know. Only one photo is not enough. I need several. I also need a face photo if I am not sure. I was asking for face photos at home, but I’ve been giving Italians some slack since they’re so closeted. I know some of you will ask for video verification, and I did that in Philly with good results (met a really hot 23-year old student), but not everyone will agree to that and personally I’m not a fan myself. What would you have done when it went south and he began trying to force you to do something that wasn’t in your agreement? I didn’t feel particularly bad about ending it when I did, but I do feel like it was a close call. Live and learn.