Bar boys offing question,

[sudoxi]

I don’t know if y’all are getting tired of me asking these questions, however I was reading another thread

 

https://www.gayguides.com/topic/61297-bangkok-pattaya-october-november-2024/page/2/

 

It was mentioned that he took his boy that he offed to dj station for dancing. Is this something that the boys are open to? Like if I like a boy in one bar however I want to go see some more shows, is it ok to ask the boy if he wants to come along with me, have dinner, before returning to hotel?
 

when I was in bangkok, for the first time, last year when I hired we pretty much went straight back to the hotel for fun.

I only ask because I don’t want to come off asking these questions to the boy who may feel obligated to just say yes to ensure an off. If it’s not normal or something that’s been requested before I don’t want to put them in That position. 
 

I am currently rereading a lot of threads on these forums to get advice and recommendations for my upcoming trip at the end of September. I will likely have more questions, if it becomes annoying please let me know as I am still fairly new to this scene. I also plan to do a lot of sight seeing and I’m glad a lot of trip reports include some of the attractions like the Tiffany show or coliseum show in pattaya. Visiting the zoo, I did safari world last year and had a blast, and of course shopping. 
 

 

[zombie]

Just my opinion:

As part of the process of "offing" a boy it is surely best to explain to him that before taking him back to your room will go together to other place or places e.g. DJ station or wherever.

And as and if appropriate adjust the fee to reflect the additional time.

Make sure he understands and agrees.

Usually I also get him to agree before offing him what is expected of him: versatile or otherwise.

[floridarob]

Generally I like to go have drinks or eat somewhere, not just back to the room for sex express.

Like Zombie said, be very clear about what you want...some guys are in a rush to get back to maybe have another off or just be back with their friends, our fun isn't always fun for them....and vice versa, what we liked in the bar might, you might not be feeling the same once they get offed. I've had a number of guys that I regretted within 5 minutes of walking out the door 😳

Some guys don't drink or like to drink, I'm seeing this more in other countries as well, fewer drinkers and fewer that like going to bars/clubs.

As far as payment, even when guys wherever mention per hour.... I say, per session. Thailand was always short time or long time.... short time was understood to be a couple of 2-4 hours and long time was to stay overnight and include morning sex too, even though, as told here many times, they'll come up with an excuse to leave early. I don't think I've ever hired for long time, because I prefer to sleep with both eyes closed and alone. I've had others ask if they could sleep with me for various reasons, they lived far, my place was better than their room, or they fell in love me 😝  In any case, if I felt ok with them and we had a good time, I'd say "don't worry, I won't charge you anything to stay here" that cuts them off from trying to up charge from a short to long time $tay.

I know people love throwing extra money at some, but with rates nearing 100 usd.... PLUS the fees/drinks/food... we need to keep these short/long time parameters in mind so expectations on both sides stay stable 😏

 

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, sudoxi said:

Like if I like a boy in one bar however I want to go see some more shows, is it ok to ask the boy if he wants to come along with me, have dinner, before returning to hotel?
 

sure it's ok, after all you are paying but keep in mind some boys like shows in other bars but others don't enjoy those so don't be surprised if you will see some grimaces when you table proposal. But sure , even if they don't like they will accompany you.

Keep in mind if you take boy fort the show in another bar you will be paying for 2 drinks / admissions so it may be expensive option , even worse he may ask you to buy a drink for his friend who works in  that bar or horror of horrors , invite his friend for a drink without even asking you . It's why I  stop seeing one of my regulars few years ago.

On another hand if you have boy with you already you won't be harassed for business by mamasan or other boys

[sudoxi]

Thanks guys, I agree with Floridarob long time doesn’t really do it for me, however if I was out late with a boy were it would be difficult for them to get home I am not opposed to them staying over. I understand paying for boy at all venues. Last year I was more shy, so this year I would like to be more assertive, especially now having more knowledge from this forum. 
 

everyone here has been a huge help, so thank you!. 

[Vessey]

The parameters of this are huge because there is nothing set in stone, and all up for negotiation with your chosen boy.

I have 'met' boys for the first time only at the actual threshold of my hotel door having found and engaged them via Hornet or Thai Friendly. They turn up at you door, knowing that they are there to provide sex for an agreed sum; they perform their job, gratefully accept their remuneration and, are off out the door again. 

Other boys you meet in the bars and 'break-the-ice' over a drink or two with them before offing them (or not - depending on how your drinks interview has gone). If you do off them, then you might well have already had a discussion about 'what next?', straight back to the room and have-at-it?, or eat first?, or go for another drink somewhere else?  You might well have had the short-time/long-time discussion; personally I generally prefer to opt for short-time for a first visit. It is always far easier to turn a short-time into a long-time if things go well, than to try and turn a previously agreed long-time into short-time if things didn't go so well.

Once you have had that initial short-time with a boy you will be thinking whether he will be just a a one-off so to speak, or whether you are going to want to see him again. If the latter that is when I start to invite them to eat with me first/afterwards, or whether to suggest a night out bar-hopping, or dancing at Stonehouse or Sinlapin perhaps as part of their next visit. 

I now have an established little band of 'regulars' that usually just slot into my daily social calendar as is conveniant to both of us, sometimes its an afternoon short-time with food and/or swimming in the hotel pool, sometimes its going to be a drunken long-time evening with sex in the morning. Its whatever and whenever you both want it to be  

[vinapu]

6 hours ago, Vessey said:

personally I generally prefer to opt for short-time for a first visit. It is always far easier to turn a short-time into a long-time if things go well, than to try and turn a previously agreed long-time into short-time if things didn't go so well.

 

excellent point

[PeterRS]

As I have written elsewhere, I gave up going to gogo bars a couple of years or so before covid. Before then I had been a regular for nearly 4 decades. Never once did I state what I wanted from a guy I offed other than to find out if he was top or bottom. In those far off days, I never seemed to notice anyone checking, if only because the boys were supposed to do virtually anything (within pretty obvious limits). Is the desire to have the boy confirm what you would like him to do relatively recent - like in the last 7 or 8 years?

[Olddaddy]

I found over the years that taking barboys to other go Go bars is not well received 

They would prefer DJ station BUT as always pick the right guy and ask first 

No use going to DJ station if the guy doesn't like dancing 💃🕺👯‍♂️

 

[vinapu]

11 hours ago, PeterRS said:

... if only because the boys were supposed to do virtually anything (within pretty obvious limits). Is the desire to have the boy confirm what you would like him to do relatively recent - like in the last 7 or 8 years?

I suspect  different reason for change - proliferation of media where clients can exchange their experiences and their willingness to do so.  In the past if buy was slacking  and taking excuses we chalked it off to bad luck and experience and carried on. Now we have way of sharing it with others and discover than #37 from Lazy Boys bar tends to spend too much time in the bathroom and masseur Bank from Broken Bones Massage and Spa always refuses to take shower etc. 

In short , neither boys not customers changed but environment in which both sides operate

[12is12]

If only that were true, vinapu.

Reminder: whenever I write that forums here should also be used in order to caution against 37 / Bank, I find myself solitary in that opinion.

In fact, even recommendations r rare, let alone asking permission from worthy providers to share their nmbrs...

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, 12is12 said:

If only that were true, vinapu.

Reminder: whenever I write that forums here should also be used in order to caution against 37 / Bank, I find myself solitary in that opinion.

In fact, even recommendations r rare, let alone asking permission from worthy providers to share their nmbrs...

I think there are  reasons we are apprehensive . I cant speak for others but can say what keeps me from sharing specific information and recommendation  about  our boys.

a/ people are asking for information  / recommendation but when it's given they disappear from forum and we don't even have a chance to see if it worked or no

b/ even best friends may have different opinions about the same guys. This year only I recall 2 cases when I wholeheartedly recommended somebody to my forum friends and it did not really work for them as much as it did for me . And also reverse case when trusted source recommended somebody who worked only kind of so-so for me 

c/ at end of day we don't really know  if negative opinion is result  of really poor service or comes as form of getting back at boy  who received unreasonable request  from some  disgruntled customers

d/people we know as being nice  based on our conversations, sharing meal and bar hoping may behave differently when door are closed and light dimmed. At least two boys over years told me they definitely did not like my friends I helped them  to hook up with . And one I'm seeing regularly   every time sternly reminds me not to share his contact nick and number with anybody 

[PeterRS]

13 hours ago, vinapu said:

In the past if buy was slacking  and taking excuses we chalked it off to bad luck and experience and carried on.

Having offed somewhere near several hundreds of boys in my time, I can only once recall one who said he could not do what I asked which was to be the bottom that he said he could do. He was a barboy at Classic many years ago and a really lovely guy. I would never go anywhere near forcing a guy to do what he said he could not, and so we spent a very pleasant hour or so in other ways. He must have been quite new to the business because about a year later I saw him in that series of vdos of Thai boys with a farang (was it titled Private Boy Movie?) when the farang went at him pretty hard when topping him. Clearly the boy did it for the money because from his face you can tell he is not enjoying it one bit. I felt very sorry for him. 

[floridarob]

1 hour ago, PeterRS said:

Clearly the boy did it for the money because from his face you can tell he is not enjoying it one bit. I felt very sorry for him. 

Not going for an academy award...?
like bottoms that moan needlessly, lol

 

13 hours ago, vinapu said:

proliferation of media where clients can exchange their experiences and their willingness to do so.  In the past if buy was slacking  and taking excuses we chalked it off to bad luck and experience and carried on. Now we have way of sharing it with others and discover than #37 from Lazy Boys bar tends to spend too much time in the bathroom and masseur Bank from Broken Bones Massage and Spa always refuses to take shower etc. 

Where? Because here, everyone uses a letter or a made up name of their guy good or bad.

 

 

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

I cant speak for others but can say what keeps me from sharing specific information and recommendation  about  our boys.

Because this has been the mantra on the Thai forum for as long as I can remember..... is why I was surprised to read the previous quote by you🤷‍♂️

[12is12]

Vinapu,

A - so lets not give recommendations to people who disappear, and DO give them to those that afterwards report.

B - every rec should OBVIOUSLY come with a disclaimer: "The fact that I liked him, doesn't necessarily mean u will." Also, there r things that r fixed, for example - "he is really like his photos", or endowment.

C - each of us can choose whether to believe the objectivity of negative reports, also by member's record.

D - Of course we r not allowed to share contact nmbrs without provider's permission.

Bottom line: not sharing recs and warnings ALL the time about EVERYBODY, should not mean NEVER doing so. We dont live in a binary black-white all or nothing world.

I posted warnings against cheats; was criticized for it by posters; and thanked for it in personal messages.

I privately forwarded contact nmbrs of 4 guys who approved (one of them multiple times), to the gratitude of both sides of the interaction.

[floridarob]

This was originally an escort review site, or transformed from one, no?

[PeterRS]

20 hours ago, floridarob said:

Not going for an academy award...?
like bottoms that moan needlessly, lol

I agree the fake moaning and other actions of bottoms in an attempt to make them appear actually to be hating the act can be quite off-putting. In this case, though, I am certain the boy did not in the least enjoy the movie making/. He was not acting, unfortunately. Not only did I know him reasonably well from having chatted on several visits to the bar, one of the other boys told me. He put up with it solely because of the cash.

[12is12]

Yes FloridaRob; it WAS originally an escort review site, at least to a large extent.

This feature was obliterated by PC bullies OOH, and goody2shoes types OTOH.   )-:

I encourage and beseech all those who agree with me, and with the 3 members who awarded a heart to my previous report, to renew the habit of well thoughtout recommendations, warnings and sharing PERMISSION-GRANTED contact nmbrs.   (-: