Napoli - Mamma Mia!

[joizy]

I just arrived in Napoli.

The train was supposed to be 5 hours from Reggio Calabria. It was very slow moving in the beginning and we arrived 50 minutes late. I thought Mussolini had gotten the trains to run on time…

Anyway, as soon as I started to get close to the central station my phone started blowing up. I was preparing for my arrival, checking the instructions Chat GPT had written for me on how to use the metro, and also looking for restaurant options in the station so I could eat before getting on the metro to head to my Airbnb. I wasn’t answering people, but I was looking at their messages.

One guy was very insistent. I finally told him I was on the train and was just arriving and asked him to please wait. He kept insisting that I send him photos, even though I have all of the photos I share on my profile, so I finally blocked him, even though I was kind of interested in him. He was way too aggressive.

That is one difference I have noted immediately between the guys here and the guys in Reggio. Only one guy from Sicily who messaged me when I was in Messina got aggressive with me. When I didn’t answer him right away, he wrote, “thank you for the response”, so I just blocked him. He was somewhere in Sicily that I was not going to visit, and isn’t a non-response a response anyway?

I arrived at the station and found a food court. Had some decent carbonara and a salad without dressing, and then took the metro to my stop. Successfully found my Airbnb, after some struggle with the host, got the WiFi code and finally got connected and settled.

All through this, Grindr was blowing up. Guys writing and asking where I was from, even though my screen name says “scambio 🇮🇹🇺🇸” and I say up front that I am an American in Napoli for a few days.

My profile is still that I am looking for someone to show me around and do language exchange, because honestly, that is what I want, but these guys are horny and insistent. They jump straight to the end of my profile where I say clearly, “I only suck”. Some question that. Some want to know if they can suck me. Some want to know if I get fucked.

In the short time I’ve been here (about 3 hours now), I have blocked several people because they just would not stop, even when I said, “I’m looking for my Airbnb, please wait” or “I just got here, give me a minute”, or if I didn’t respond at all, they continued messaging me and said things like “I’m too ugly?” Or “You’re not interested?”

The good news is I have several prospects lined up who look like they might be fun. Nice meaty dicks, nice bodies, handsome faces. One wants to fuck me but I told him I only fuck the second time we meet. If I’m going to do all of that prep, i want to make sure it’s worth it. He kept pushing, but I finally told him “that’s what makes it special” and I think he was satisfied.

One thing I did notice is that there are a LOT of visitors. So, I can add one more thing to my list of why I was so popular in Reggio - very little competition. If Italians are looking for foreigners because they feel they are more discreet encounters, then in Reggio there is very little competition because it’s not high on the list of places foreigners visit.

I only have a few days here, and I actually want to do some sightseeing, so I am going to be selective about who I meet. So far, it looks encouraging.

Oh, also, a guy wrote to me in English (all of the others were writing in Italian) and asked, “Are you in my home?” - he sent only a face photo. We chatted a little and he sent restaurant recommendations and suggestions about places to visit. It doesn’t really look like anything will happen beyond that with him, but it was nice to have a neighbor reach out.

Napoli is about 5 times the size of Reggio, so there will be more guys here, but also more competition. Stay tuned.

[12is12]

Recommendation for dealing with pestering when u r busy:

Either dont respond until u have time enough 2 chat,

Or msg "busy now chat later", and then block all those who continue pestering.

[PeterRS]

Have you had any problems with airbnb in Italy so far? I had a strange one in Bologna a few years ago. I liked its location near the station and had no problem walking there. As requested I had called for instructions about the code to open the main building door and then a second code to get into the accommodation which had four bedrooms.

Having gone across the road for a quick dinner, everyting worked when i returned. The following morning, though, it all went berserk. I could not get out! There was just a simple button to press to open the apartment door. It did not work. I tried calling the owner but it took 25 wasted minutes of no answer until the maid arrived. Turned out there were actually two buttons and the one labelled "Press to exit" was the wrong one! Yet it had worked the previous evening! When I got back that evening, this time I could not get into the  building. They changed the exterior door codes weekly and had not sent the new one to my phone! This was infuriating, even though the room was large and pleasant. Thankfully I was only there for 2 nights.

[joizy]

13 hours ago, 12is12 said:

Recommendation for dealing with pestering when u r busy:

Either dont respond until u have time enough 2 chat,

Or msg "busy now chat later", and then block all those who continue pestering.

Thanks. This is really the first time I’ve experienced this. It’s pretty much what I ended up doing.

[joizy]

8 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Have you had any problems with airbnb in Italy so far? I had a strange one in Bologna a few years ago. I liked its location near the station and had no problem walking there. As requested I had called for instructions about the code to open the main building door and then a second code to get into the accommodation which had four bedrooms.

Having gone across the road for a quick dinner, everyting worked when i returned. The following morning, though, it all went berserk. I could not get out! There was just a simple button to press to open the apartment door. It did not work. I tried calling the owner but it took 25 wasted minutes of no answer until the maid arrived. Turned out there were actually two buttons and the one labelled "Press to exit" was the wrong one! Yet it had worked the previous evening! When I got back that evening, this time I could not get into the  building. They changed the exterior door codes weekly and had not sent the new one to my phone! This was infuriating, even though the room was large and pleasant. Thankfully I was only there for 2 nights.

That experience doesn’t surprise me at all. As an Italian-American, I can honestly say that I believe Italians set out in the world to make things as difficult as possible. As I was taking my shower this morning in this beautifully redone and stylish bathroom, I was trying to figure out how to say this - something like Italy is a developing country that has dressed itself up in a very stylish exterior. Things just don’t work here. And the people are not particularly friendly. Yet, it is stunning to look at. And the food. And the men. But, it seems that if we visit, we need to prepare ourselves for one aggravation after another, like my beautiful “fast” train that was 50 minutes late.

This Airbnb was the most difficult for me so far. The host immediately wanted to communicate off the Airbnb platform, which we are not supposed to do. That got me worried. He wanted my email address and WhatsApp. 

He sent me an electronic check in which I had to complete and send him front and back photos of my ID (what exactly is the back of a passport?) and a photo of me holding my ID. Once I did that, he sent me another email with a link to something called ViKey, which is how I was to open the door.

When I arrived at my metro stop (he told me to take Linea 2, but Chat GPT told me Linea 1 - Chat GPT was right, of course), I clicked on “get directions” in Airbnb and it showed me nearby hotels. It did not give me directions. I messaged my host on WhatsApp and asked him to send me the address. He read my message but didn’t respond. Then he tried to call me, but I didn’t see that. I copied the address from Airbnb and entered it into Google maps and eventually found my way here.

I used ViKey to enter both doors. The door to the building was easy. The door to the apartment was more difficult, but eventually I got in.

Usually on Airbnb, there is the WiFi information and often there is a way to simply connect from there. Not here. There was nothing. I messaged the host. He didn’t respond. I called him. He told me to use the QR code on the door. I tried that and it took me back to ViKey and the buttons to open the doors. He finally sent me a screen shot from ViKey. There was another page you could get to if you clicked on “more information”. Of course, no one told me that, I was just supposed to know. There was the WiFi network and the password, which was very long, but I could not just copy and paste it. I had to write it down (fortunately there is a chalkboard and chalk) and then enter it.

Mammamia! 

This morning, I tried to make coffee with the moka pot that is here, but it wouldn’t work. I messaged the host and he said it doesn’t work with the “hob”. I guess the hob is the induction stove. I ran into this problem in Reggio. Induction stoves only work with stainless, and not aluminum. So then why is there a moka pot here if it doesn’t work?

I think the worst is over, but I hope he doesn’t change the code on me in the middle of my stay.

Other issues that I have had is they only give you one towel. I had to buy a knife in Reggio. When I stayed in Bari I asked him to provide one (I’ve learned it’s easier just to buy things for long stays).

But the nice thing is they say nothing about guests. Even in Philly, I was told I wasn’t allowed to have guests. That didn’t stop me. But here, there are no security guards, or cameras, and nothing written about a no guest policy. I intend to have quite a few visitors if these guys come through.

Ah, Italy.

[FunFifties]

Thanks @joizy, I really enjoy your Italian adventures. Looking forward to learning more about Napoli, as it has been on my bucket list for a while. 

[joizy]

3 hours ago, FunFifties said:

Thanks @joizy, I really enjoy your Italian adventures. Looking forward to learning more about Napoli, as it has been on my bucket list for a while. 

 I have to say, I really prefer the smaller Italian cities like Reggio Calabria, and even Bari. It is hectic here and the people are rough. I did get a few smiles today, but mostly people seem tired, overworked and impatient.

Still, it is very interesting. I walked to the Spanish Quarter this evening and it was what I imagined Napoli to be.

I think it is a city that would take quite a while to really get to know and it would be best with a local informant. I am only going to scratch the surface in a few days.

[joizy]

First day in Napoli was pretty much a bust.

I went to the supermarket three times and each time it was more crowded and more hectic. I did the hop on/hop off bus and lost my ticket, so my plan to take the other route at sunset didn’t work out.

I went to Quartieri Spagnoli to see all of the Maradona stuff and that was fun, but hectic.

I find the city to be way too hectic, the people are gruff, it’s dirty, the food is fried and not terribly healthy. Tomorrow, I’m taking a funicular away from the hustle and bustle to a quieter neighborhood. This may be for some people, but it’s not for me. 

Now, as far as the men, my first day gave me unrealistic expectations. One guy completely disappeared, I guess he blocked me for some reason, even though we had no interaction other than when he messaged me last night and was only a few feet away and then moved progressively further and further away. He was my number one choice if I had any say in the matter. 

Another guy who messaged me last nice and had a nice cock wanted to fuck me. I told him I would do it the second time we met, and thought maybe…but today he confirmed that he only wants to meet if he can fuck me. I just said no.

Quite a few guys messaged me with no photos at all. I just deleted the messages. Others sent photos but no dick pics. 

I did meet with one guy who looked kind of cute and had a really nice body. My mind filled in the missing details. We all know what happens when we allow that to happen.

He initially wanted to meet at 7. Then he said 4, which was better for me. I thought I’d meet him and then have another later in the evening.

He came here and I was immediately disappointed. It just wasn’t enjoyable in any way. I was glad when he left.

And that is it. I thought I would have met several guys today, and instead, only met one who was a disappointment.

This evening, a guy messaged me and sent some mediocre photos and said I could suck him but he wanted 30 euros for coke. I just blocked him.

So, my theory about Reggio Calabria being much better in terms of meeting men has been strengthened. Again, when I look on Grindr here, I see mostly visitors, so for Italian men wanting to meet out-of-towners to be discreet, have many more guys to choose from. 

I don’t know where I am in relation to where most Neopolitans live, but Reggio is much smaller, most of the guys I met there either had cars or lived nearby, and I suspect it was much easier than it is getting around a city like Napoli.

Anyway, Napoli was a nice place to visit, but I’m glad I’m only here for a few days. As far as travel, I prefer smaller, less touristy and more local. And as far as meeting men, a bigger city doesn’t always translate into more opportunities it seems.

I’ll be back in Reggio for one day before heading to Palermo. Let’s see how Sicily treats me.

[12is12]

)-:

[PeterRS]

What a shame that you are not going north to spend time in some of the glorious hill towns. I loved my various visits to towns like Perugia, Assisi, Spoletto, Spello, Pienza and others in Tuscany like San Giminiano with its skyscrapers (!), Montepulciano and Montalcino. Preferred them to a large city like Milan. Or perhaps you have already 'done' northern Italy.

[joizy]

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

What a shame that you are not going north to spend time in some of the glorious hill towns. I loved my various visits to towns like Perugia, Assisi, Spoletto, Spello, Pienza and others in Tuscany like San Giminiano with its skyscrapers (!), Montepulciano and Montalcino. Preferred them to a large city like Milan. Or perhaps you have already 'done' northern Italy.

My plan is to do a little Italy every year now that I am retired. I’m going go base myself in the north next year. 

[PeterRS]

1 hour ago, joizy said:

My plan is to do a little Italy every year now that I am retired. I’m going go base myself in the north next year. 

You will love it. Not sure how far north you plan but I'd be tempted to start in or near Florence and work around from there, leaving Venice and further north to another year. The towns I listed, apart from perhaps Perugia, can all be visited from Florence but it helps if you drive and can hire a car. Not sure how interested or otherwise you may be in art, especially of the Renaissance, but there is so much to see and be amazed by. Forgot to add in my earlier list the amazing city of Siena. Quite glorious - but eating and just having a coffee in the main Piazza del Campo is expensive.

I had friends who had converted a 16th century farmhouse on a hilltop near Monterchi (close to Arezzo). They had even dug their own quite large swimming pool! Having a barbeque dinner with them poolside on my first evening, I was blown away by the fireflies in the poppy fields stretching down to the valley below and the lights from a couple of small towns on neighbouring hilltops. Magical!

[ShivRoy]

I really really love Napoli, my favourite city in Italy - but yeah not for the gay scene lol

I had same experience on apps as you - i.e. not very lucky.

I did pop in into an old-school gay sex cinema close to Garibaldi (I think the name is Cine Iride) - it is very much alive and was very busy on a weekend afternoon. I saw a couple of rough-looking guys who could be trade - and that would be happening in the toilets. When I was there, it could have easily been 20-30 people in the cinema

[joizy]

In Napoli station waiting for my train back to Reggio. Looking forward to returning and possibly having some fun before I head to Palermo.

 Only hooked up with one guy here and it wasn’t that good. I went to Caserta yesterday and a beautiful 22-year-old messaged me on Grindr and then we switched to Telagram. He sent a few videos of him jerking a beautiful, thick cock and one cumshot. Unfortunately, I had to return to Napoli, but was tempted to get a hotel room in Caserta and spend the night. The one that got away. 
 

[donJ]

One of the most interesting sets of posts i've read on here in a long time! Thank u for these. And especially southern Italy, where I need to go. I don't get out of the country much, & i have a boy, so I'm not as interested in the itinerary ins and outs of Thailand and all that. But you spared us the excruciating details of you're every move lol. Quality over quantity, but I appreciate the quantity too

[joizy]

9 hours ago, donJ said:

One of the most interesting sets of posts i've read on here in a long time! Thank u for these. And especially southern Italy, where I need to go. I don't get out of the country much, & i have a boy, so I'm not as interested in the itinerary ins and outs of Thailand and all that. But you spared us the excruciating details of you're every move lol. Quality over quantity, but I appreciate the quantity too

Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to report, but if you are interested in southern Italy, I would definitely recommend Bari, Reggio Calabria and Palermo as possible places to base yourself to do some travel. I’m going to Catania next week, and that may also be a good spot. Bari was really great. Not the prettiest, but also not the grittiest (Napoli is ranking number 1 in grit so far), but from Bari, it was so easy to get on the train and visit amazing old historic towns along the coast. Each one was more fascinating than the next. I found that the one the tourists all recommended were beautiful, but also a little like Italian Disneyland. The best ones were the ones the FB groups never mentioned. Calabria was a little bit more difficult to see by train, which why I’m now in Sicily. But southern Italy is just gorgeous and I am having so many first-rate experiences that tourists pay top dollar for on the Amalfi coast or Cinque Terre, yet it’s just me and the locals.

[donJ]

On 10/23/2025 at 12:03 AM, joizy said:

Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to report, but if you are interested in southern Italy, I would definitely recommend Bari, Reggio Calabria and Palermo as possible places to base yourself to do some travel. I’m going to Catania next week, and that may also be a good spot. Bari was really great. Not the prettiest, but also not the grittiest (Napoli is ranking number 1 in grit so far), but from Bari, it was so easy to get on the train and visit amazing old historic towns along the coast. Each one was more fascinating than the next. I found that the one the tourists all recommended were beautiful, but also a little like Italian Disneyland. The best ones were the ones the FB groups never mentioned. Calabria was a little bit more difficult to see by train, which why I’m now in Sicily. But southern Italy is just gorgeous and I am having so many first-rate experiences that tourists pay top dollar for on the Amalfi coast or Cinque Terre, yet it’s just me and the locals.

Yeah these are definitely the parts of Italy I most wanna visit, especially Sicily. I had an opportunity a few months ago but I didn't have the funds this time around. It will come eventually. And by the way, even the daily life stuff is kinda interesting, helps since I would like to basically do the same thing 

[travguy]

I was in Naples about 15 years ago. There was a bath house with some action when I was there. When driving away to another area in the central part of the city, there were some street hustlers I passed en route. I did not stop to find out more, LOL. On one of the older web sites, perhaps the now defunct cruisingforsex or maybe squirt, there were other postings about street trade. Floating around someplace years ago there was a YouTube or other video about young Romanians being pimped out by their dads someplace in the Naples area where the ? gypsies had an encampment. You made an agreement with the dad, went to a nearby mostly empty car park, did your deed and returned the boy (? older teen). Not sure who was paid what, when etc. The Palace at Caserta was gigantic and has a large gardens area. Near the Palace itself, there were some secluded spots in the garden for play :). When I was there, there seemed to be no issue in the middle of the day. Just be a bit discreet. 

I was in Italy recently but only noted limited activity on Grindr, Scruff, Romeo, Sniffies, etc. Never hooked up. I agree with the OP, some were way too aggressive. I thought in a few cases it was because they lived away from the city and had no means to quickly get into town. Perhaps that made them more desperate for sex if you could come to their place. One person flaked. Spain and Italy were completely packed with tourists in October - actually worse than pre-COVID typical height of summer season. Finding a place to stay was difficult. There was a 1 week wait for a regular ticket to Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. Some next day waits at the Uffizi and Accademia in Firenze and a 2 week wait for a regular, non $100 plus private tour ticket for the Vatican museum in Rome. I was told no photos were being allowed at the Sistine Chapel! At the Duomo in Florence and some other sites, they greatly restricted where tourists could wander - both side transepts, altar area and behind the altar were all roped off. Folks praying were allowed to one transept area. Santo Spirito in Florence also had one attendant telling folks not to take photos, most took them anyway. Most everyone used cell phones without flash. In Venice during the Biennale St Marks seemed fully open to explore, though some areas had price add-ons to visit. I agree with the OP that the major cities seemed too crowded vs past visits, sometimes chokingly so. I left Italy a bit early due to some rainy days approaching and I needed a break from my break. Award airfares back to North America were also about to get painfully expensive. AA had Premium Economy seats available from Milan at a low fare and UA had higher coach awards (but at their 40K base level) from many Italy cities. AC, AF, KL, and BA were not any better. BA also charges very high fees and taxes of over $300 USD via London. German fees and taxes are also a bit high now around $170 USD. I think they were around $65 USD in the past.  All AA and UA award lower cost awards seemed to be evaporating as the rains were approaching. I also looked at some other cities. Athens was at 110K for an award ticket (yikes) and BCN, MAD, etc were also very costly. MUC and VIE were also above base levels as was PAR. These are all cites reachable by train in under 10 hours from Venice, Milan, Turin in the north.

Edited 5 hours ago by travguy
added comments re Caserta Gardens