Mood Killers (not a violent commentary)

[Mavica]

There's probably not one of us who doesn't have instinctive mood killers when we're hooking up / having sex / being intimate.  The article linked below references that, and within the article is a link to another social media discussion.  Do you have mood killers?

Gay guys asked their mood-killers – the responses are so valid

 

[vinapu]

I don't recall  cases of often mentioned bad breath/ bad hygiene or attempts at violence but my mood killers are:

- guy emerging from the toilet second after water was flashed so obviously no attempt was made to shower/ wash 

- answering phone and engaging in long conversation without any sign  of asking for permission

-playing / scrolling  on the phone 

- asking  "can I go now ?" well before agreed time - that results in permanent removal from the list of suitable companions

 

[Keithambrose]

1 minute ago, vinapu said:

I don't recall  cases of often mentioned bad breath/ bad hygiene or attempts at violence but my mood killers are:

- guy emerging from the toilet second after water was flashed so obviously no attempt was made to shower/ wash 

- answering phone and engaging in long conversation without any sign  of asking for permission

-playing / scrolling  on the phone 

- asking  "can I go now ?" well before agreed time - that results in permanent removal from the list of suitable companions

 

Arguing about fee.

[vinapu]

2 minutes ago, Keithambrose said:

Arguing about fee.

that would be but in my case I like  that part to be covered well before  hitting the door. If they raise issue after the session it more nuissance than mood killer

[jimmie50]

Mood killers for me are someone being aggressive or causing pain; someone wanting me to be aggressive or physically administer pain to them; someone who won't kiss or is a bad kisser.  

One of my favorite things to do is shower together before and after, so unless they refused that part of the fun not taking a shower wouldn't be an issue.  Since I often prefer overnights or long term, I make sure they know in advance I expect them to join me for breakfast before departing.  I cannot recall the phone ever being an issue, but I would not hesitate to ask them to put the phone away.  Not really a mood killer for me, though.  If they continued using the phone, I would invite them to leave and adjust compensation accordingly.  

[TMax]

The main mood killers for me are bad hygiene (bad breath, body odour, not washing etc), those horrid silicone beads in the penis and yes those that just want to use their phones.

[Suckrates]

13 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Mood killers for me are someone being aggressive or causing pain; someone wanting me to be aggressive or physically administer pain to them; someone who won't kiss or is a bad kisser.  

One of my favorite things to do is shower together before and after, so unless they refused that part of the fun not taking a shower wouldn't be an issue.  Since I often prefer overnights or long term, I make sure they know in advance I expect them to join me for breakfast before departing.  I cannot recall the phone ever being an issue, but I would not hesitate to ask them to put the phone away.  Not really a mood killer for me, though.  If they continued using the phone, I would invite them to leave and adjust compensation accordingly.  

While I love sex and companionship,  I cannot see the allure of "overnights"....  It freaks me out to have a "stranger" staying in my home and spending the night, and not knowing what he might be doing while I am sleeping?     Unless I TRUST you,  you cannot spend a night in my home,   and if I dont KNOW you, that rejection quadruples.....

Overnights are a "privilege" you must EARN.   

You have to live a life that "feels" good to you, and I always say, trust your instincts.....

If the escort thing is your bag,  let your hire come (cum), do his job and LEAVE,  just as my plumber would do.    It's a "business relationship"......

[floridarob]

14 hours ago, vinapu said:

that results in permanent removal from the list of suitable companions

Does this fall under the rules of the @vinapu calendar , since you've been known to give multiple chances ?

 

 

12 minutes ago, Suckrates said:

If the escort thing is your bag,  let your hire come (cum), do his job and LEAVE,  just as my plumber would do.    It's a "business relationship"......

Agree 100%

I don't pay for sex, I pay for them to LEAVE afterwards - Charlie Sheen made it famous, but various people said it before him- including myself, along with which costs more, sex for money or sex for free....


My turn off is when someone that claims to be a TOP,  gets back to the room and wants me to fuck them, or can't get hard..... I ask the right questions and if they've made it to the room, I already know there are no mooks or silicone, a lesson learned after far too many times forgetting to ask those questions or going to the restroom to inspect the merchandise ahead of time, if not already done so at the table.

[Suckrates]

1 hour ago, floridarob said:

Does this fall under the rules of the @vinapu calendar , since you've been known to give multiple chances ?

 

 

Agree 100%

I don't pay for sex, I pay for them to LEAVE afterwards - Charlie Sheen made it famous, but various people said it before him- including myself, along with which costs more, sex for money or sex for free....


My turn off is when someone that claims to be a TOP,  gets back to the room and wants me to fuck them, or can't get hard..... I ask the right questions and if they've made it to the room, I already know there are no mooks or silicone, a lesson learned after far too many times forgetting to ask those questions or going to the restroom to inspect the merchandise ahead of time, if not already done so at the table.

 

In all fairness, escorts ARE human beings, and being such I would expect their arousal also depends on some modicum of attraction, eventhough their profession and specialty is sex, you would THINK they could get HARD despite any attraction or condition ?  But if they CANT do their job (get hard and perform)  WHY should they get paid ?

Especially for me, since i am solely into oral, if I cant suck a big HARD cock, the escort DIDNT deliver for me and shouldnt deserve payment.....

A hookup is an agreement which MUST be negotiated BEFOREHAND, and if an escort decides to "flip the script" on arrival or during the session,  he should be sent away WITHOUT payment.    NO DELIVERY,  NO PAYMENT...

Thats why, even at my advanced age,  I rely on sex clubs for my entertainment.  I SEE what I am getting and am in control of the situation.  And I can have multiple encounters for a single entrance fee.  😍

[vinapu]

6 hours ago, Suckrates said:

While I love sex and companionship,  I cannot see the allure of "overnights"....  It freaks me out to have a "stranger" staying in my home and spending the night, and not knowing what he might be doing while I am sleeping?     Unless I TRUST you,  you cannot spend a night in my home,   and if I dont KNOW you, that rejection quadruples.....

Overnights are a "privilege" you must EARN.   

You have to live a life that "feels" good to you, and I always say, trust your instincts.....

If the escort thing is your bag,  let your hire come (cum), do his job and LEAVE,  just as my plumber would do.    It's a "business relationship"......

while there's a lot of logic in what you say, I haste to add that I almost exclusively off guys in Thailand  for overnights and so far wort what happened  were few guys asking  for permission to leave   well before breakfast  and one who fancied to start to listening music  from his phone in dead of night ruining that way his chance to get tipped for following 3 nights as well.

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, floridarob said:

Does this fall under the rules of the @vinapu calendar , since you've been known to give multiple chances ?

yes and no, I recall 3 exceptions , all three veterans of several Long Times  previously , so I assumed they may have a good reason and phone call they received in middle of the night was  valid excuse. And in subsequent offs they stuck to the agreement I haste to add

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, Suckrates said:

 

A hookup is an agreement which MUST be negotiated BEFOREHAND,

looks you did not discover or never had good luck in ' lets go and see what happens " type of arrangements.

[Suckrates]

6 hours ago, vinapu said:

looks you did not discover or never had good luck in ' lets go and see what happens " type of arrangements.

I really NEVER leave anything to chance....    I am more of a "contract" type of guy.   You fulfill your end of the deal and i'll fulfil mine !    

Afterall, sucking a cock for $$$$ is as important as "The Strait of Hormuz"   😄

[Travelingguy]

1 hour ago, Suckrates said:

is as important as "The Strait of Hormuz" 

And how has that been going lately?

[Mavica]

To be honest, when I posted the topic I wasn't thinking of escort relationships.  LOL!  I forgot the environment here and was thinking of non-paid interactions ... thinking back over decades of cruising, hooking-up, etc. 

For the non-transactional $$ hook-ups, what's killed the mood are:

Limp dicks on tops or bottoms.

A bottom shitting all over my dick, and the bedsheets.

Bad cocksuckers

Bad breath (i.e.: from smoking or other).

Talking too much when we're sucking or fucking, from bottoms or tops.  Encouragements?  Yes.  But a conversation?  No way.

Bad kissers

For interactions with escorts:

Not delivering on what was I've thought was agreed to beforehand.

Rushed programs

Mechanical performances

Distraction (i.e., Club 117 guys focused on televised porn, instead of me!)

When I've bottomed: toying with me by putting in / pulling out repeatedly.  Just fuck me!

These are just a few examples, as I thought about the issue.

[Mavica]

1 hour ago, Suckrates said:

Afterall, sucking a cock for $$$$ is as important as "The Strait of Hormuz"   😄

Actually, sucking cock is more important!

[Mavica]

On 5/7/2026 at 7:16 PM, jimmie50 said:

Mood killers for me are someone being aggressive or causing pain; someone wanting me to be aggressive ... .  

Several incidents / experiences in my lifetime:

I took home a guy I'd met at the gloryholes in an adult bookstore in Iowa where I was living.  He was a fantastic cocksucker but stopped suddenly telling me he wouldn't go further unless I punched him in the abs as hard as I could. I complied. Over and over and over again. He was into pain more than having sex.  He had the gymnast ripped body type; very goodlooking.  We did this a couple of times before I realized though he was getting off on being hit, I wasn't benefitting.  I stopped seeing him.

I once visited a gay baths in Hammond, Indiana.  It was a residential building converted for this use.  Rooms were like bedrooms found in any home.  A VGL black guy entered the open door to my room and asked if I would fuck him.  His body was ripped; a great ass.  After fucking him for a while he pulled away and asked me to punch and slap him across his face, and to call him ... the "N" word.  I'm your "N", shout it for everyone to hear!"  I'd never used that pejorative before (or since) and told him I wouldn't do it.  Angrily, he got up and left.  My dick went limp. It was his role play, not mine. 

Pre-internet, I regularly cruised a popular park on the lakefront in Chicago - Lincoln Park.  One night at about 3 a.m. walking through the bushes I hooked-up with a guy who lived in a condo overlooking that park; we went to his place.  Once at the apartment he excused himself to use the bathroom, only to return in a wig, full leather with no pants but with chaps, Doc Martins and a large knife in one hand. He grabbed me around the neck, we fell onto the bed and he demanded that I fuck him like the bitch he was - or he'd kill me then and there.  I honestly thought I would die.  I maneuvered so I could hug him tightly around his shoulders, said I'd had too much to drink before meeting in the park, couldn't get it up and, lo and behold, he said he'd had too much to drink as well and we agreed to do the deed when we woke up in the a.m.  He fell asleep with the knife placed against my chest (I never slept).  In the a.m., when I was convinced he was sleeping soundly, I pried his arms off of me, grabbed my clothes and quickly exited into the condo hallway naked, then put my clothes on - and got the hell out of there!  

[TMax]

I do remember a definite mood killer at the old Bonny massage, quite a reasonable looking guy with a nice body said he was a top and ready to go (go shopping maybe nothing else though) so chose him. Massage was so ordinary it was bordering on poor, limpest cock around and not that big either so the afters were non existent and I left there very disappointed. Made up for that disappointment by going to Adonis early evening, hot guy with a hot body and a big hard cock that got me back in the mood 🤩

[Olddaddy]

On 5/8/2026 at 8:24 AM, vinapu said:

- guy emerging from the toilet second after water was flashed so obviously no attempt was made to shower/ wash 

So he just had a piss 🚽and didn't wash his dick  .... especially if they are not cut 😲

Look you can't "wash" it after every piss ... especially if your using a public toilet 🚻 but I did recently,I was in a Shopping mall ,

dying for a pee so went to the public toilets , pissed in  the urinal and then went to the sink where other guys were washing their hands 

I immediately got the old fellow out 🍆and had to stand on my tippy toes as I put him under the sink tap ,🚰

[floridarob]

31 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

So he just had a piss 🚽and didn't wash his dick 

Sounded like he took a 💩 to me ... when I was a top, yes a long time ago, that would be a mood killer for me, and I wasn't as forward as today, I'd just find an excuse not to fuck that soon after someone had pooped  😕

[Keithambrose]

6 hours ago, Suckrates said:

Afterall, sucking a cock for $$$$ is as important as "The Strait of Hormuz"   😄

Surely more important!

[Vessey]

Many of the mood killers have been already outlined by others, poor body and oral hygene being No 1 for me,

But others important for me are boys (yes there are a few!) who ask for me to wear a condom before giving me a BJ!  (I would rather do without than endure that),

Heavy pubic hair 🤮; cock and balls lost amidst a forest of hair, and a hairy hole (I normally love to eat a smooth clean ass); doubly true with bottoms!

Last visit I brought my No 2 a bottle of perfume and a new 'Lady Razor' - he understood and obliged! 😅 and was consequently a well rewarded daily visitor 🥰

All these mood killers in the room are becoming increasingly important as I get older; it doesn't take much for my tired old cock to decide to loose interest these days 😔

 

[a-447]

4 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

.........pissed in  the urinal and then went to the sink where other guys were washing their hands 

I immediately got the old fellow out 🍆and had to stand on my tippy toes as I put him under the sink tap ,🚰

This reminds me of the time, many years ago, when I had to stay in a hostel in Venice, as all the accommodation was booked out.

In the morning I went to the common bathroom where there was a long line of sinks. I heard a bit of a commotion. I looked to my left and saw a guy who had flopped out a HUGE uncut cock, which he proceeded to wash in the sink.

Having no shame, I immediately moved over to the sink next to him and enjoyed the view. 

I have a feeling he was just showing off.

Unfortunately, I never saw him again.

However, I saw hostels in a new light and when I went to Copenhagen I sought out a hostel not far from the station with a shared bathroom. 

Suffice to say, I had a wonderful time in the shower, watching as heaps of naked guys milled around, waiting for a shower to become available. 

Thanks to the guy washing his cock in Venice, I became a huge fan of hostels in Europe.

As for mood killers, for me it's poor hygiene (uncommon in Asia) and mooks/cock beads and silicone. But as I grab guys from bars I can check those things beforehand.

[Suckrates]

8 hours ago, Mavica said:

To be honest, when I posted the topic I wasn't thinking of escort relationships.  LOL!  I forgot the environment here and was thinking of non-paid interactions ... thinking back over decades of cruising, hooking-up, etc. 

For the non-transactional $$ hook-ups, what's killed the mood are:

Limp dicks on tops or bottoms.

A bottom shitting all over my dick, and the bedsheets.

Bad cocksuckers

Bad breath (i.e.: from smoking or other).

Talking too much when we're sucking or fucking, from bottoms or tops.  Encouragements?  Yes.  But a conversation?  No way.

Bad kissers

For interactions with escorts:

Not delivering on what was I've thought was agreed to beforehand.

Rushed programs

Mechanical performances

Distraction (i.e., Club 117 guys focused on televised porn, instead of me!)

When I've bottomed: toying with me by putting in / pulling out repeatedly.  Just fuck me!

These are just a few examples, as I thought about the issue.

YES, thats how I understood your post, but when it took a "turn" I just went with what the crowd wanted....

But I suppose mood killers are Universal and would be the same for ANY sexual situation ?   

I might add that for me, additions would be, obviously, SMALL dicks and miniscule or no Balls as well as flat nipples.....  I love a nice plump sack hanging and knocking my chin when I suck....    I know those are physical traits, but those count as much as performance aspects TO ME.....

[jimmie50]

9 hours ago, Mavica said:

To be honest, when I posted the topic I wasn't thinking of escort relationships.  LOL!  I forgot the environment here and was thinking of non-paid interactions ... thinking back over decades of cruising, hooking-up, etc. 

My mood killers would be the same, whether non-paid interactions or escort relationships.  In general it would apply to all situations.  

Had a similar experience to you many years ago while visiting friends in Atlanta.  Went to a gay bar called Bulldogs and met a really nice guy.  Very handsome, young and athletic...probably a college swimmer type guy.  Anyway, after a couple of drinks, good conversation and a lot of flirting...we left and went back to his place.  We were getting hot and heavy when he stopped and wanted me to spank him.  Not something I was really into, but I obliged with a light smack on the butt.  He kept insisting I continue and each time wanted it harder and harder.  Total mood killer for me.  Finally told him he was a nice guy, but this was something I just wasn't into and needed to leave.  Couldn't get dressed and out of there fast enough.