stevenkesslar

If you are looking for an oversimplistic way to think about this, @AdamSmith, here's my suggestion. Look in a mirror. The person you see is the person to blame for why Bernie or Elizabeth (not to mention just about any other politician) will NOT take a stand on decriminalization. I have a long history on this. When Rentboy was attacked, it amazed me how many people I knew very well that looked at Rentboy just about every single fucking day, but would not lift a finger or give a penny to actually support Jeffrey. There were plenty of decent arguments made about how Jeffrey fucked up and brought it upon himself by (fill in the blanks). But pot, meet kettle. These people making these arguments were people who hired escorts all the time, and looked at Rentboy as a daily ritual. And they are going to blame it on Rentboy for being Rentboy? Come on! Same thing with FOSTA/SESTA. Other than the most flaming lefty sex workers, nobody wanted to get involved. At one point I spoke with an escort who has a very solid record of sex work advocacy, and is also a really nice guy. I've marched with him against the Rentboy attack. I suggested we organize a very small group of articulate people and go meet with some of the members of the US House and Senate oversight committees which regulate DHS, which launched the raid against Rentboy. Several of those committee members represent areas (like LA) where there are lots of sex workers and folks who hire them. The basic question I had was: are they persuadable? Are they open to talking about this? This sex worker/activist's basic attitude was: why would you meet with elected officials? They are the enemy. All they will do is side with the cops. In fairness, I'd never tried such a thing. Although I spent a whole career successfully lobbying US Senators and Reps and state and local elected officials on all kinds of progressive issues. So this lefty sex worker - who strongly supports decriminalization - may have been 100 % right. But the point is that if the only people elected officials hear from is the cops and the Moral Marys, and maybe once in a while the most militant sex workers, who do you think they are going to believe? At one point when I was very involved in planning or hosting the Palm Springs pool party, I sat down with Oliver and Epigonos to discuss this. I knew very well that two mostly conservative closeted Republicans were not about to go march in protest, or even meet in private with their US Reps. My point was that if they ever shut down Daddy/Guy's website, you can kiss your pool party goodbye in a year or two. And their reaction was: so what? Other than having a party to let some escorts run around naked, we are not interested in doing a single fucking thing to advocate for our interests in this matter. Which was no surprise. Because people like Oliver and Epigonos were also not willing to do a single fucking thing to promote or support same sex marriage. As hard as that battle was, it was a very different issue, which ultimately yielded majority support. And it always enjoyed majority support and lots of activism among Gay men - at least as long as I was involved in door knocking and fundraising and activism on the issue. So why would anybody expect conservatives who happen to be closeted Gay men who hire escorts to lift a finger to help Rentboy, or decriminalize prostitution? Or even support same sex marriage? Come on! Daddy/Guy was absolutely no good on this issue. He talks a great game. He'll go to jail if need be, blah blah blah. Behind the scenes, I had to work hard to convince him that it really should be okay to post pictures of children on his website. And I don't mean child porn. I mean things like pictures of high school students at marches to end school shootings. Or a picture of a US Senator on the US Senate floor decrying gun violence, with a picture of a young elementary school boy who was killed in the Sandy Hook mass murder next to him. Daddy's point was that any picture of any minor could make him vulnerable to an attack by the Feds, since it could be portrayed as child pornography. Which is to say, he is a wimp. Come on! His basic impulse is to keep everything small and secretive, so he can control it. That works okay for maintaining his website, barely. It is toxic to the concepts of organizing and empowerment. The challenges go even deeper than that. One of my best friends and closest political associates during various periods of my life is a Straight woman who has a reputation as one of the best Gay rights organizers in the US. She is very close to the upper echelons of the US Gay mafia, who funded the same sex marraige (and other) initiatives. Several decades ago when I was a recently divorced community organizer, she was the first person in my organizing network I came out to as a Gay man. She instinctively hugged me, and basically said, "How wonderful!" When I transitioned into escorting and I moved to CA we lost touch completely. Then I started volunteering for EQCA in 2008, right after we lost the same sex marriage vote in CA. She was consulting with EQCA, so we ran into each other at some phone bank event and reignited both our friendship and started planning some local organizing strategies. So after a while I came out to her a second time - this time as a male escort. She was as polite as she could be. But it was as if I was telling her I was having an affair with her husband. It really did not go down well. Right or wrong, I had the sense that she could never really get her mind around the concept. And she is one of the most liberal, tolerant, and open-minded people I know. There is not a lot of polling about decriminalization of prostitution. So what I'm about to say may be wrong. But the polls I've seen suggest it's almost the opposite of support for same sex marriage. With that, the younger you are the more open-minded and tolerant you are. With prostitution, younger people - particularly younger women - are adamantly opposed. I've read a number of articles on prostitution (like where it is legal, in Europe for example) written by professional women journalists. While the articles were factual and objective, the bias still came out loud and clear. Again, the polling on this question is weak. But my sense is that young people, especially women, view prostitution as akin to slavery or rape. With both Rentboy and SESTA/FOSTA, the organizing attempts that were tried - like online petitions - simply went nowhere. Every successful organizing effort I ever led or worked on ultimately and organically took on a life of its own. That happened with same sex marriage. It even happened with Trump. With decriminalization, it has never happened. In theory, there is a solution to the problem. Whether you look at the small cadre of Gay men back in Harvey Milk's day that led the way, or the Tea Party people that resisted Obama and ultimately paved the way for Trump, my experience is that these things always start small, among a dedicated group of people who simply will not stop, and will not be crushed. That in itself does not ensure success. But it is a prerequisite to the possibility of success, I think. So all that is by way of saying, we should all look in the mirror. If somebody is going to lead the way and start the fire, it is going to be us. There is nobody else to do it. Certainly not Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders. My money is on them for 2020. Just like Trump and Cruz ended up being the only two that mattered on the Republican side in 2016, it would not surprise me if 2020 comes down to Warren and Sanders on the Democratic side. They are lighting fires daily on all these majority issues - like universal health care, free college, a more humane immigration policy, a wealth tax, income inequality, climate change. While there are huge policy challenges on every one of those issues, there is overwhelming majority support for some type of substantial change. I think they both have a lot of balls, or courage, or leadership skills, or whatever word you want to use. (And they are not alone. I like Mayor Pete a lot, too.) But my point is expecting them to get way out in front on an issue that is probably wildly unpopular - probably especially with the young female activist types they are trying to inspire right now - is just not realistic. As a souvenir, I keep a flyer I got in my mailbox in 2008, right after Obama won and same sex marriage lost on the Fall CA ballot. It was put out by a Black evangelical group opposed to same sex marriage. It quotes Obama saying things that sound anti-same sex marriage. (Hillary and everybody else were pretty much against it in 2008 and earlier, too.) Later Obama argued that he did the right thing, and patiently waited for the American people to come along before he got out there and lit up the White House with the colors of the Gay flag. You could have a great debate about whether that is good leadership, or a piss poor rationalization. My point is, that is the way it works. If we want to move people like Warren and Sanders on decriminalizing prostitution, we are going to have to start by moving ourselves.

Despite U.S. Economic Success, Financial Anxiety Remains This Gallup data is an important companion piece to the post immediately above. There are two things in it I find fascinating. First, these days more than ever before people's perception of the economy is hugely partisan. And that is a real change from before. If you are a Republican, it tends to be the "best economy ever" - whether it actually is or not. If you are a Democrat, you see red lights flashing. And that's exactly the reverse of what it was under Obama, when Republicans thought the economy and our very Constitution were being destroyed day by day. The Gallup poll confirms that on every measure, there is a huge link between partisanship and perception of economy reality. Of the 27 % who say they have no economic concerns, 67 % approve of Trump. And 63 % of that group are Republicans. With the 49 % who who have one form or another of "immediate" cash flow concerns, it's exactly the opposite. Only 30 % of that group approve of Trump. And only 33 % percent of that group are Republican. So you do have to wonder. Are these people basing their view of their economic situation on whether they are a Democrat or Republican? Or are they a Democrat or Republican because of their view of their economic situation? Either way, these numbers explain why and how Trump can get kicked to the curb by Warren or somebody like her. And his race baiting and immigrant bashing won't help him - even though he'll sure try as hard as he can. If only 1 in 4 Americans say they have "no concerns" about things like cash flow or health care or long term financial security, there are HUGE cracks in Trump's support that are not measured by these top line economic numbers. We certainly learned that in the 2018 midterms. Some part of that was a referendum on Trump being a jerk, no doubt. But some part of it was about health care and all this economic anxiety that lies beneath Trump's "happy talk" and the race bashing. I think this is why both Warren and Sanders are both on to something, and it is working. And why ultimately if Biden's argument is lets just go back to 2008 or 2012, it ain't gonna work. And if Warren beats Sanders, I think this is why. Sanders, to his credit, is framing this in terms of what he's thought since Ronald Reagan was elected. Like Millennials, I give him a ton of credit for consistency and perseverance in sticking to a good set of core principles. But Warren is getting better and better in framing this in terms of what is happening right now. And why it is a result of the shitty leadership we have right now. So far, she's the only one doing that. Mayor Pete and Kamala Harris are saying great stuff, but to my ears it has not really been framed around emotional, gut level bumper stickers like Warren is doing - at least not yet.

The Coming Economic Crash — And How to Stop It By Elizabeth Warren I think Warren just took another big step forward to the nomination with this. Part of what makes it so powerful is that, as the link to a Politifact article points out, she got it more or less exactly right in 2005 and 2006 and 2007 when she warned about subprime and predatory lending. And how that would push us off the cliff. Which it did. If we are in recession by next November, it's a moot point. Trump's racism won't help him a bit. But I have to assume he's hoping that he can win by flogging a supposedly good economy, and then whip his base into a frenzy on racism. Including the part of his base that isn't doing so well, and who noticed that he didn't deliver on health care or manufacturing jobs. Warren more than anyone is the candidate that seems like she has thought it all through. And this answers the question: "What is your core motivation for running? What problem are you really trying to fix?" One of the themes that has reverberated for me all year so far among pundits I respect is "choice v. referendum". So two examples. Nicole Wallace of MSNBC said that when she worked for W. the key goal in the 2004 Prez race was to make it a choice, rather than a referendum on W. She said had it been a referendum on W., he would have lost. So they made it a choice between W. and flip flopper Swift Boater Kerry, with the idea that at least you knew where W. stood. Republican Alex Castellanos has made an argument that is similar. He sees 2020 shaping up to be a "Papa Bear" v. "Mama Bear" choice election. And by that he means Papa Bear stands for a good economy and being tough (Trump) and Mama Bear stands for goodies and handouts (some Democrat). He thinks Papa Bear (Trump) will win if that is the choice. So if you buy any of that, what is interesting about what Warren is doing (unlike Sanders, or anyone else), is that she is making this a referendum on greed and corruption and leaders that are leading us down the road to ruin, just like they did a decade ago. You can integrate into that all her "Mama Bear" stuff - like student debt relief, better wages, green manufacturing jobs. She is a poster child "Mama Bear", which is both a compliment because she is tough and fierce, and a concern because I don't think Castellanos is wrong. But I think this is an important part of the core argument she would need to make, if nominated. That this isn't just about freebies or giveaways. This is about seeing clearly that we are headed toward the edge of a cliff, just like we were a decade ago, and acting now to prevent it. The "choice v. referendum" dichotomy is a bit oversimplistic. 2020, like every election, will be some of both. But I think Wallace and Castellanos are right, in essence. Trump obviously agrees, since he is trying to make this a choice between capitalism v. socialism, or legal immigrants v. invading alien hordes with all the appropriate and racist not-too-subtle subtexts. I think Warren is on to the recipe for winning. Not only by taking on the Racist In Chief as such. But also on the fundamental issue of his stewardship of our economy.

I agree on both counts. Warren is my favorite. And I think (as Glaude said in that MSNBC piece above) the internal debate is actually good for the Democratic Party. It's democracy. We have an abundance of riches. https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/polls/?ex_cid=irpromo Here's another thing that I find interesting that relates to the points about Millennials and suburban left/centrists. As of today the polling shows that in all the early states (Iowa, NH, SC) and some of the key big states (CA, TX) Biden is still in the lead. (I'm referring to the July YouGov polls.) But Warren and Sanders and Harris are all now in this pack that is not far behind. As you say, Mayor Pete is still the queer alternative, but he's off in the distance. So in almost every case in the polls in these 5 states (except SC) if you add up the percentage of votes Warren and Sanders gets, it exceeds the percentage Biden gets. And also in almost every case these four candidates get over the 15 % hurdle it takes to get any delegates in the first place. I've been saying since January that I would not discount the possibility of a ticket with both Warren and Sanders on it. In January it looked more like it might be Sanders/Warren. Today it looks more like it might be Warren/Sanders. And I know that idea is horrifying to a lot of Democrats for a whole bunch of reasons. Two East Coast liberals? Please! But my two points would be this: 1) They may need to do it to get more delegates than Biden. That's what the numbers suggest as of today. 2) There have now been several good analytical pieces written about how their bases are very different. Want Millennials? Go Sanders! Want educated center/left suburban women? Go Warren! So there is some built in conflict, but there is also some built in compliment there in terms of bringing different people together. And as much as any two candidates, they have been allies with complimentary change platforms. And frankly, to show my bias, I'd rather have Warren be the # 1 because I just think she's smarter when it comes to policy, and she's proving it every day. Of course you could say the same about Warren and Harris, sort of. The data suggest their supporters are more similar. But it would be exciting to have a ticket with two women who have great ideas, great energy, and are aggressive as hell working to take down the Racist In Chief. The way this is playing out I'm hoping that some of these things are just going to sort themselves out. They often do. Including Trump hitting the panic button and just doing dumb shit, like his racist tweets, that lay thegroundwork for his own demise.

I thought this was an excellent discussion of both the morality and the politics of where we are at with Trump's racism. Eddie Glaude, Jr. has been a voice of reason to me all through this nightmare. So his 2-3 minute rap early in this segment really resonated for me. I agree with him that this is a defining moment for America. If 2020 were about the economy, Trump might win. That's assuming we are not in a recession by November 2020. It's over a year away. But even if the economy holds up for another 16 months 2020 might be about something deeper. It might be about who we are as a country. And who we want to be. A decade ago in the worst days of the Great Recession I decided that that old adage about "as goes California, so goes the nation" may no longer be true. In 2008 or so it was easy to portray California as a fiscal mess. But now California is the 5th largest economy in the world, if it were a separate nation. It is affluent and prospering. And so I think there is reason to hope that Trump may be nationalizing what happened under Pete Wilson in California a generation ago. It's not that Californians are socialists. Duh! Of course we are not. But Wilson and the Republicans of his time called the question on whether we hate immigrants or love them. Or whether we stand for The Statue Of Liberty or the concentration camp. And with the exception of Republican moderates like Schwarzenegger, himself an immigrant, California has been Democratic ever since. The interesting thing is that in this perpetual "is California or Texas the future?" debate, Texas is now looking more and more like California as well. Kudos to Texas Republican Rep. Will Hurd, who has so far from what I can tell been the only GOP House member to speak out forcefully against this latest example of Trump's lies and racism. And I have to imagine Rep. Hurd can do this not only because he is one of the few Republican House members who are not White, but also because he actually is speaking for the constituents of his moderate and diverse Texas border district. My point in relation to what you said @AdamSmithis that, yeah, this is in part about The Millennials. But it's also about all these suburban, more center/left or center suburban people. The people in Hurd's district, and the people in all those Orange County and California suburban districts that flipped from red to blue in 2018. And Glaude nailed it once again with the fear he articulated at the end of the 20 minute segment above, which he posed as a very smart question. What exactly lies at the intersection of racism, on the one hand, and what he labelled as "greed and selfishness" on the other? To be more specific, he said, what about the educated centrists who say "I'm not that" on this toxic racist bile, but do like the tax cuts, or the deregulation, or the top line numbers on the economy? What do they do in 2020? The response to Glaude, by a pundit quoting Kellyanne Conway of all people, should be reason to worry: people almost always vote on what affects them rather than on what offends them. That is no doubt how Trump squeaked by in 2016. So I think you are of course right @AdamSmiththat the Millennials will matter a lot. And if it were just about that, honestly that is my Argument # 1 for Bernie, who inspires the Millennials. But I think who also matters even more are these more highly educated, center left, suburban types. The majority of whom seem to be women. They are who turned it in 2018. It's becoming clearer and clearer that they are moving away from Biden and toward Warren and Harris. I'm looking to see where those voters go, and what Warren and Harris have to say to them and how it is received. California (Harris) and Massachusetts (Warren) are both poster children right now for both the riches and the challenges of technocratic capitalism. They are hardly havens of socialism. So my hope is that "as goes California (or Massachusetts) so goes the nation" still holds. Wilson and his racist policies killed the Republican Party in California, and it is still dead. And the version of the Republican Party that is flourishing in New England (the Governors of Massachusetts, Vermont, and Maryland are all popular Republicans) is kind of a repudiation of much of what Trump stands for. It is more like the old Party Of Lincoln Main Street capitalism. Somehow that group of voters are the ones that the Democrats needs to lock up to send Trump to the curb. They are smart, educated, relatively affluent, not socialist, but deeply offended by the Trump nightmare. The fact that Warren and Harris are the kind of Democrats that can do well in states like that gives me reason to hope that if we nominate either one of them we can win, and end the nightmare, and move forward.

Poll: Most Americans call Trump's tweets targeting 4 congresswomen 'un-American' So is there any way to take this other than that a lot of Republicans are racists, or at least very comfortable with racism? Specifically meaning the racist comments of President Trump? Before I make the point about the poll data, let me preface it with one of my favorite lines of the week, from an article today by David Axelrod, about the upcoming debates: If you believe, as I do, that the ultimate argument against President Trump is that his gleeful, nasty and unremitting penchant to divide the country is a dispiriting and exhausting barrier to progress, the charismatic Harris could emerge as a force to heal the breach. You could take out the word "Harris" and put in the words "Warren" or "Sanders" and that would sum up my hopes for 2020. I'd much rather have 90 % of what Democrats say be about a positive message about health care, and jobs, and taxes, and making America smarter, and helping people buy homes and get good educations without going neck deep into debt. If we talk about racism, I'd prefer it to be in the sense Axelrod brings it up: isn't this just really fucking exhausting? Don't we have better things to talk about, and to accomplish? That said, the reality is that Trump really does seem to want to talk about racism, because it feeds his base. I assume most everyone here has already read that his own EEOC uses the phrase "go back to where you came from" as a textbook example of bigotry or racism or discrimination in the workplace. But of course you can say that's just because the EEOC is made up of pin-headed bureaucrats. What's fascinating about these polls is forget about the bureaucrats. Let's talk about what the public thinks. So that's kind of amazing right there. Most Democrats think it's racist to say "go back where you came from". But apparently only a plurality of Republicans agree. So this is where it gets really fucked up, I think. If you read the whole article, the 59 % breaks down this way on partisan lines. Trump's tweet is viewed as "un-American" by 88 % of Democrats, 54 % of Independents, and 25 % of Republicans. So wait ................... let me get this straight. 45 % of Republicans say it is "racist" for Trump to tell Black or Muslim or Latinx members of Congress to "go back where you came from". But only 25 % of Republicans think it is "un-American". How exactly does that work? It sounds like for the majority of Republicans, what Trump tweeted is not racist. And then for another 20 %, it is "racist" but not "un-American". Huh?

Yes, we do disagree - but about means, not ends. Here's three very important words that should be a cornerstone of any future public debate about decriminalization: "RIGHT TO PRIVACY". So I'll say it this way. If you're asking me as an escort, I'm all for a sex positive culture. Have as much sex as you want, with as many guys as you want, as many times as you want. If we're talking about politics, though, my view is almost the complete opposite. Framing this as "sex positive" does not help. I think there is a clear analogy with the battles we have fought and won. We didn't win same sex marriage by arguing anal sex is awesome, and Gay men ought to be able to marry and fuck the man of their choice. We actually kind of avoided the issue of anal sex, altogether. Even my Straight brothers don't particularly want to hear about Gays and anal sex, even though they support same sex marriage. I think the basis of a successful decriminalization campaign could boil down to the same thing: what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. It's a private matter. Some version of that actually works with abortion. It's not that people think abortion is a great thing. It's that a majority thinks it's better to let it be a private matter, and to regulate it at the margin. (Alabama and other red states notwithstanding.) That's a philosophical approach. But I also think it ties right into a tactical, political approach. When the FOSTA/SESTA debate was happening I actually inquired around with other escorts and clients about forming a small group in the Palm Springs area to go meet with our US Rep and Senators. Palm Springs would be a great place to try to model a local organizing effort, I thought, because it's chock full of out Gay men. We have lots of Gay City Council members. So I could easily imagine a private meeting with staff of Harris or Feinstein or our US Rep with maybe half a dozen escorts and people who hire them. Meaning a handful of older, professional men who are the kind of guys who donate to or volunteer in political campaigns, but also like to hire. Like I said, Palm Springs is full of them. And maybe even a Gay City Council member thrown in to make us look credible. Like I said above, the clients I spoke with greeted this idea with something that bordered on horror. Having a private pool party with naked escorts is one thing. But dressing them up and going to talk to US Rep. Raul Ruiz or his staff? No thanks. So I just let the idea drop. As I said, I think we could be organized in lots of Congressional districts. And to me the key to successful organizing would be the idea that we don't have to have a public impact. We have to move legislators in private. Discretely. By the way, that's what the cops and Moral Marys do. They go meet in private with the legislators and tell horror stories about how women are sold or abused or trafficked. It has worked very well for them. They are on a roll. To me something like this would create a practical opening as to how we begin to fight back.

Ha! I have a substantive comment on what you said. But first let me take the vanity lap regarding your kind comment about running for office. Because it actually does tangent on the issue of decriminalization. In my 30's when I was very involved in state and local politics (as a community organizer of organizing director of non-profits, not as a government employee) the question I got asked all the time is, "When are you going to run for office?" The answer was always, "Never". So when I switched to being an escort it took a year or two to get used to the internal emotional reaction. I would not call it shame, but it was in that ballpark. First, there was the worry about getting caught. But beyond that I knew and worked with a ton of elected politicians in the city and state. So I kept waiting for the "one step removed" to play out and at some point I figured some client would out me and everybody who knew me would find out what I was up to now. I've spoken with many escorts who of course have different versions of the same concern. Fortunately, that never happened. Early in my SF days I went out on a date with a guy I met online who was this gorgeous bodybuilder. We hit it off, and he claimed I was exactly his type. But he worked in the Mayor's Office in City Hall. And I just thought this was a little too close for comfort. As in I didn't want to really tell him about my day job. So we had one date, and then I just came up with some excuse to drop it. Then maybe a year or so later I found out by coincidence, from a few escort buddies, that the bodybuilder I'd gone out on a date with was .......... wait for it ...............an escort. That was educational to me. I'm like, wait! You can work in CITY HALL and do this? WTF? Of course, it's San Francisco. Don't try that in Alabama. You are absolutely correct. One of my friends who is one of the best organizers in the country on LGBTQ issues was quoted in an article called "Hearts Not Heads" in The Economist in which she made the point that our success on same sex marriage ultimately rested on an emotional argument: we let people get to know who we are, and where are hearts are at. As opposed to an intellectual appeal to fairness or equality of other "principles". That said, I don't think the same would be necessary if we are talking about decriminalization. I don't think "coming out" to everyone is a necessary or even a good strategy. Unlike same sex marriage, I don't know that we ever can, or have to, win broad public support. If a serious effort were mounted, I think the key thing would be behind the scenes lobbying with elected officials and their staffs. And part of what would be interesting about THAT is you could, in theory, have many "respected" members of society like doctors and lawyers and even politicians and judges "coming out" behind closed doors, to elected officials or their staff. I think that would be highly effective. And it does not involve marching in a parade, being quoted in a newspaper, etc. That said, I'm still pretty sure the idea would scare the shit out of most people. But I don't think it needs to be an "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it" strategy. Here's a cautionary tale. At one point around the time I was very involved in volunteer same sex marriage organizing I came out as an escort to the friend I mentioned above. While she is high up in the LGBTQ organizing mafia, she is personally Straight. As it turns out, she was also one of the first people I came out to as a Gay man a few decades ago. So I could do a compare and contrast. When I came out as Gay she was all pride and joy. When I came out as an escort I could tell it really confused her, and she never really seemed to feel comfortable with that. As I said in my first post, I think a lot of professional women see escorting as something in the ballpark of a form of slavery. So that was also educational. She's a poster child when it comes to tolerance on anything liberal and LGBTQ. So if she had a hard time with this issue, I'm pretty sure a lot of people would. Which is why I think if there ever is a serious effort is should be based less on public visibility or media or persuading the public, and more on having teams of people who are escorts of those who hire them go talk to politicians and their staff in private. There's a whole bunch of great arguments that could be made. But the best one is that we waste a tremendous amount of time and money playing "whack a mole", and those resources could be far better spent on many other pressing needs.

Assuming that polling is accurate, these two articles might help to put those results about young people being "uncomfortable" in context: We asked US voters about their views on transgender people. Here's what they said. The gender-fluid generation: young people on being male, female or non-binary This is wild ass speculation on my part. You'd have to focus group that 36 % or so that say they are uncomfortable with "LGBTQ" issues and ask them to explain to really find out what's going on - if it's anything other than a statistical blip. But when I first read that article the first thing I thought of is the words "gender fluid". The people who are in the middle of that, with their peers, are young people. That's why I posted the Guardian article. It is shifting the debate from "this is the way I was born" to "this is what I choose to be today". That may be causing some discomfort. One indicator is the poll data that shows a plurality think that Gays and Lesbians are "born that way". Meanwhile, a plurality think transgender people "choose to live that way". When asked to react "If your child were ......" about 40 % say they would "not be upset at all" if their child was Gay or Lesbian. About 30 % say they would "not be upset at all" if their child was transgender. My hunch is that the poll you cited, @Lucky, is measuring slightly different things as the debate changes. Five years ago we were talking about same sex marriage. Now we are talking about transgender bathrooms and whether you can be male one day and female the next. Again, the rubber on these new issues is hitting the road mostly with younger people. I would read this mostly as a sign of cultural tension and positive change. Same thing we encountered a decade or two ago when we were pushing the limits about marrying the man we love. And to be clear, none of this is intended as saying that we shouldn't be pushing the limits in different ways. The good news to me is that the lines have really shifted around comfort levels. The polls on questions like same sex marriage just keep getting better. So my guess is that if there is a reaction, it is around the "next wave" of issues. And even on those, as the polls in that Vox article indicate, the public is mostly on the side of LGBTQ issues. The bathroom issue is the dividing line today. Funny to think about that, isn't it? These days if Mayor Pete walked into a john with his husband Chasten, people would feel totally comfortable and want a selfie. It would only be if he walked into the bathroom with his transgender soldier wife that people might feel a bit freaked out. Go figure!

I strongly agree with your perspective on this, Oz. That said, I ain't holding my breath. I'll wait until someone like Warren or Harris actually gets elected. Then we'll see. Ironically, Trump is the last POTUS in the world who would act on this. If it were only up to him, he might favor decriminalization. I think we all know he certainly has a good reason to do so. But this would likely not go down well among his base. Except, of course, the portion that like to hang out in bathroom stalls. The controversy over what happened to Jeffrey and Rentboy has already been referred to on this thread, so I won't revisit it other than to say this. I was one of the leaders of the effort to raise money for Jeffrey's defense. I think it's objective to say it never really got off the ground. In part because it was surprising how much push back there was even among people who pretty much used Rentboy every day. When FOSTA/SESTA passed I sounded out people I've known for a very long time - either escorts or people who hired them - about their interest or willingness to organize and meet with members of Congress or staff locally to discuss the issue. Of course, by that time (the bill passed almost unanimously) it was too late. Regardless, and not surprisingly, there was not much interest. I followed the online postings of groups that did get involved in lobbying - SWOP (Sex Workers Organizing Project) up in Seattle had some really good online reports of what was happening on the inside. The tone of their posting was that legislators and staff really are willing to listen. I was a lobbyist in DC for six years and that flies with my experience. The simple mathematical fact is that in every Congressional district in the US, there are far more escorts (or whatever other name you want to use) and especially far more people who hire them than there are law enforcement officers or Moral Mary crusaders. So whatever public opinion says, as an organizing proposition there is every reason to think that all over the country "we" could be meeting with Senators and MOC's and our voices would be heard. Perhaps that in itself is one explanation for Warren and Harris shifting on this issue. They certainly appear to be open to talking about it. Gay men also add a whole different aspect to a discussion. It is easy to portray women escorts as helpless victims. I've read hundreds of reports and studies on this issue and younger professional women journalists in particular seem to view decriminalization as sort of like slavery. It adds a whole different spin when you get male escorts talking about how they use this as a transition job to earn a law degree, or even become a cop. Bottom line: I would not dismiss the ability to change hearts and minds on this, like we did on same sex marriage and other LGBTQ-related issues. We should keep an open mind and watch, I think.

And what the fuck do you know, anyway?

I just ran across this post and felt like it was appropriate to offer my respect to the memory of Hooboy. Reading this post was a mostly pleasant trip down memory lane. My first encounter with the word "Hooboy" was when I got an email from somebody in 2000 saying he wanted to hire me because he had read a review of me on some site called "Hooboy." I had no fucking clue what that was about. And once I asked for and got a link to the site, I was actually offended at first. You mean somebody is actually going to review having sex with me on some website? WTF? Of course, none of this was entirely new. Back in the '90's when i lived in Portland I spent many weekend nights in a sex club in Seattle. One of my rituals was to go to some bookstore that sold Gay porn on Sunday after all night sex binges, and I'd look at the escort ads in The Advocate. Another time I ran into some guy who ran an escort service at a sex club on a trip to San Francisco. He gave me his card and said he needed escorts in Portland, so when I got back to Portland I called him. He asked me questions that also sort of rattled me at the time - like how big was my cock and did I have pictures of it I could email him? The whole thing seemed kind of fucked up to me, so I let it pass. I guess I was just a prude. When I did finally take the dive into escorting, my escort buddy Bill and I would frequent AOL Portland M4M chat rooms and get kicked out or just toyed with. It was a spectacularly ineffective way of finding serious clients. So what Hooboy offered really did revolutionize things, and it changed my life. I can't imagine having been an escort without what he did. And I certainly can't imagine being a successful escort. Looking back at it almost two decades later, there was a period of maybe two or three or four years from 2000 to 2004 or so when I met most of the top clients that would stick with me throughout my "career." I still know many of these guys. It was a huge money maker and a game changer. Almost every client I met came to me through Hooboy's website or its successor. I tried advertising on Rentboy and that experience lasted all of one week. It led to a whole bunch of useless phone calls and a few brief appointments with one weirdo and one drug addict. I suppose I don't have a real basis for comparing, but something about the idea of having reviews attracted thoughtful, sincere, kind, and interesting people to Hooboy's website. If the intent was to attract escorts to gentlemen and vice versa, it worked. Hooboy completely changed my life and opened all kinds of opportunities, travel, and relationships. I thank him for making me richer in several ways. I never had the opportunity to actually meet him. We communicated via email a few times and planned to meet when I was going to be traveling in Europe. And then unexpectedly he died. Thanks Hooboy for being a creative genius and a disrupter. We need more people like you on the planet.

Wow. Now we are getting somewhere. The Sandbox and the filth in it is gone, and JD has proven what of a decent, humility, kind nature he is. I voted for JD for EOY because he's Black. That's it. He is articulate and he made a good case that Blacks don't get the recognition they deserve. I was hoping he would rise to the occasion, just like other moral leaders like Martin Luther King and political leaders like Barack Obama seized their moments and rose to the occasion and changed the world in what I view as deeply moral, positive ways. With this missive, JD has shown what kind of leader he is, and of what a kind, moral, Christian nature he is. I was talking to a former EOY of the Year yesterday (who knows, maybe even the same one as JD did) who said, "Steven, are you aware that Daddy is on the verge of insanity? Come to tell the poor man is almost going crazy, holed up in his bathroom with a gun as of worrying that the Feds come Sept. 1 gonna seize everything because of JD's endless threats. Gonna come flying into his very own home, what with this whole big collosal scam of Daddy and his evil Kesslar cohorts horrifically and wrongly and unjustly luring JD into giving $500 to help Rentboy and maybe keep Jeffrey out of jail. JD being unjustly and wrongly and horrifically lured into helping Jeffery, and beyond that horror the horror that Daddy so of an unkind nature so worried and what not. It practically killed the man thinking of the entire federal government, high powered DA and all, sweeping down on Daddy to shut down that website and deprive all those escorts of all that income they could make whoring. Would a been a crime." So I feel like my vote for JD for Escort of the Year paid off. Here we have JD, in the moment when Daddy was as good as felled, with high powered DA's with the WRIT OF SHUT DOWN in their very own left AND right hand, high powered DA and police and all, JD of a kind Christian nature at the very last minute staying the judgment and showing the mercy in his heart and stopping Daddy from being shutdown. Of what a relief for Daddy! And to show the world the good heart that JD has, of a kind nature, too trusting, that even though Daddy and his evil Kesslar cohorts did JD wrong, JD would of compassion forgive. And speaking for my own self, JD, I accept your apology and change of heart. Your kind words about me and other leaders of our community, like my friends Dane and Tristan, warm my heart, and the few people reading this can now know of what a forgiving nature you are to see as as perhaps imperfect but still good people that you set all the horrific things we have done what making you contribute $500 to Rentboy aside. You are of the most compassionate man I know. Now, I have another job for you, seeing as what of a great leader you are, EOY. There is an escort that is absolutely bat shit crazy, and now that Daddy is off the hook, and Dane and Tristan and I have our good name back, due completely to your mercy, this guy Oz has this bat shit crazy escort doing what comes sort of natural to him, and tearing Oz's website to shreds. And I can see he is fixin' to say that Oz is a racist, and this whole Oz website thing is racist, just like he did of Daddy's website is racist. This bat shit crazy escort gonna drive this poor man Oz crazy. Every day this bat shit mothfucker gonna be postin shit, sounding kinda deranged, crazy what not, and actually kinda funny to read, like you wake up in the morning and go - WHAT THE FUCK? IS THIS FOR REAL OR IS IT A FUCKING COMEDY SHOW? But nonetheless gonna drive this poor man Oz bat shit crazy, and soon enough some scam gonna happen, being as Oz gonna be threatened and harassed of being racist and being sued or some high powered DA's gonna come swooping down or what not, shut down poor Oz little porn site, take all Oz's money, just like they almost did yesterday on Daddy but for of the very mercy of JD Daniels. Meanwhile gonna spend every day trying to tear Oz and people on his website apart. So since you've had a change of heart, JD, can you do Oz - not to mention the rest of us - a favor? How about if we all pray to Jesus, and just have a moment of silence? And how about if we turn that moment into a minute? And how about if we turn that minute into an hour? And how about we turn that hour into a day? And how about if we turn that day into a year? A year of silence. Precious, peaceful, reflective silence. Because otherwise this poor man Oz gonna be driven bat shit crazy by this batshit motherfucker. Now please, God, or Oz, or whoever? Can we all just get down on our hands and knees and be silent and pray? I am starting my year of silence right this second. Goodbye.

Thanks for the heads up, Scorpio. I think I am getting the message. More precisely, I think the silence is deafening. In my 15 years as an escort there have been only a few times that individuals tried to extort or blackmail me. Neither Hooboy nor Daddy stood for it, and once I made an appeal with logic and proof, in private, they stood by me, and it all happened in a matter of hours - privately. This has gone on for days, and for whatever reason it has been allowed to escalate, and the one person who can stop the extortion and blackmail simply hasn't. In lieu of that, there are ridiculous assertions that the victims of harassment and abuse are somehow supposed to "fix" the situation or "heal" the psychopath extorting them. I appreciate these suggestions. They are good comic relief. I don't need a lawyer. I need a margarita, and my friends and clients and I will be laughing about this one for years to come. Meanwhile, you can keep your psychopath and his rages. Please enjoy. Speaking of getting the message, I've now been advised by several people I trust that I am feeding the trolls. I know the way this works. If you defend yourself, which is fair, you are feeding the trolls. If you are silent, which is fair, you feel abused, and people speculate that it must mean you are guilty. Right now you are all witnesses to both. It is a lose-lose, which is exactly why responsible adults, including responsible people who want successful websites, shouldn't tolerate it. Apparently, you do. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing, except when it isn't. As it happens, TIME ran a great cover story just this month on how the Internet is being taken over by hate and by trolls. Who'd a thunk, reading a thread like this? TIME compared Facebook, where people can't hide behind anonymity and there is an intentional focus on safety, to sites like 4chan, which are "so popular with trolls that few normal people are actually on it to be trolled." As Rock Hard argued, you guys are smart, and can reach your own conclusions. So I'll leave you to decide for yourselves where you fit in the food chain. Have fun, cheers, and bon appetit!

Adam: To be even more clear, what you said above is exactly correct. This crap is not something a decent person like you should want to hear. It is none of your business. I did not make it your business. It should not be posted. It should not be commented on. It should be like shit flushed down the toilet and never seen or heard from again. Whatever my flaws, I can't feel too guilty for giving JD the benefit of the doubt and trying to be his friend and trying to help him, both to achieve goals he identified, and to heal whatever hurt is inside him that causes this crazy rage. I failed. In retrospect, it was arrogant of me to think I could help. So I can take this shit and it means nothing to me. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm not losing my home. I have a lifetime of great achievements behind me, and I'm still pretty young, and I can focus on fighting for same sex marriage and defending Rentboy or whatever my little causes are. If JD thinks he is getting to me, he's not only crazy, he's wrong. But this is hurting other people. And more than anybody, it is hurting JD. If it wasn't helpful for me to nudge JD to sanity privately, this approach will NOT nudge JD to sanity. I own 12 homes, and he can't pay the rent. Suckrates is right. Every word he utters here is probably taking $1 out of his pocket. He doesn't seem to be able to do the math, but you guys can. Have mercy on him. And if you can't have mercy on him, have mercy on Dane and the others JD will abuse here because of his madness. Your message is exactly right, Adam. Can you please amplify it, and can others please join him in doing so? I beg you. Please treat this matter with mercy, not meanness. Thanks, Steven

Adam: Let me be clear. You said that JD was out of his mind. You are correct. And I appreciate your saying it. I haven't missed what you said. JD is going to spew endless loads of bile every day as long as he is allowed to. He did it before I said a word. He did it after I said a word. He will do it as long as it is allowed. It's one thing to say the psychopath is out of his mind, it's another thing to say that the psychopath who is out of his mind is freely allowed to abuse and rape, as long as he does it in the alleyway, not in plain view, although - hell, we might as well take a peak. Right now - on this website, on this thread - JD is following through on abusive threats to blackmail and extort that he has been making for over a month to another escort who is completely innocent. This is not the first time he has done this, and it won't be the last. Moving the abuse from the main stage to the alley doesn't stop it from being abuse. Anybody with a heart and decency ought to be screaming "Stop this psychopath from abusing any further!" He should not be granted a forum to abuse. Not a theater. Not an alley. Not even his own little dark corner of hell. The only thing to be "fixed" right now is to remove this thread so it can't be seen or commented on. There are a lot of decent and reputable and compassionate people - escorts and clients - watching this to see what it says about the nature of this particular community. If you want people to participate in a decent, caring community, you actually have to act like a decent, caring community. This is a little like saying that Donald Trump being the Republican nominee says nothing, really, about the Republican Party. He's just there, and it just somehow happened. If JD is allowed to use the Soapbox, the Sandbox, or any part of this website to extort and blackmail, and everybody tolerates it, it says something not only about JD, but about this community. Sorry. This is abuse. This is extortion. This is blackmail. Either you are for it, or you against it. Steven

Great. More character assassination. Thanks. According to one of JD's past rants, I'm an alcoholic and I am losing my home. So let's run with that. By your logic, perhaps what is really at the root of this is that I disembowel children, eat them, and bury their remains in my cellar, using their blood in sexual orgies with JD and Dane and other psychopathic lovers, until JD decided to do right as he is of a good sound, Christian nature just trying to heal his burdened soul, and so he set about to rat Dane and me out. His disgust at my cannibalism is what set this whole thing off. Go ahead. Speculate away, and bring this website deeper and deeper and deeper into the deepest levels of shit possible if you wish. It will be exactly what you make of it.

This is extortion and blackmail. Period. I naively made the mistake of trying to become friends with this psychopath, to my regret. In that sense, I agree with Suckrates and others that have suggested I have some responsibility for this mess. Guilty as charged. The best solution is simple: Oz can simply flush the toilet and get rid of the shit. There will be no "fixing' or "healing" of relationships with an abusive psychopath. Moving the abuse to the Sandbox simply allows a psychopath to build a huge mountain of bullshit, and the continuation of this thread and other endless rants by the same psychopath proves it. The escort that JD has been emotionally abusing, harassing, and threatening with blackmail and extortion for over a month - really for over a year - has nothing to do with this, did nothing wrong, and simply has been tolerating boatloads of unwanted and unfair email abuse. This is a horrific, horrific, horrific precedent. It is cruel, and I can't believe a decent community would stand for it. I hope this is not that kind of community.

You asked, so I'll answer. Again, my basic point is this: the very act of having to go through this kind of slander and bullshit in minute detail diminishes this website. But now let's go through the slander and bullshit in minute detail and diminish this website. JD's latest extortion attempt started last month. My escort friend who is being slandered sent me this email, which he received from JD, dated July 26, so about one month ago. I redacted my friend's name and my real name: Hey Babe,How much is (Steven) behind in donations?I'll make a contribution this week and have decided to do $100.00 per weekand not per month as I want to help towards the cause and help (Steven) catch upto whatever he wasn't able to donate.It's not about me or him - it's about helping Rentboy. Alot of escorts andclients feel since (Steven) went out of his way to help makeme lose EOY and look bad on the forum,(and got back what came to him as itserves him right) I'm going to give him the opportunity to make this allright, and I'll be more then willing to do the same by helping him inmoving forward with the Rentboy fund.What (Steven's) doing in raising money for Rentboy.com is for a good cause, anddo wanna help in however way I can as I don't want to see (Steven) fail inregards to this.I hope (Steven) can convince (Daddy) to make everything right again as I'm willingto own up to my end of bargin(as you suggested) and contribute weeklytowards the cause along with contributing $50.00 a month towards Daddys andDaddys Forum.I need your help in this too, as you too need to convince Daddy ofgetting things back the way they were as I feel you have a great influencein turning this negative chaos around into a positive light just as well as(Steven) can.I think if you really want to see me succeed and are truly in support inhelp getting my EOY back and such...you'd have your talk with Daddy aswell. Shouldn't be all on (Steven) as I'm sure you can help turn this around aswell.I seriously need to get my EOY title and privileges back along with myforum privileges, and reviews put back as it has hurt my business a greatdeal.I'd sleep so much better and wouldn't be so depressed If this can happen.Please help with this if you can. PLEASE!!!I would truly and graciously appreciate it very much.Get me the information for (Steven's) donation page for Rentboy.Com and I'llplace a $100.00 donation this week.If (Steven) wants to email or contact me he's more than welcome to and we'll seewhat we can sort out.I do want to be at peace with all of this and not at war anymore as I thinkwe all have gotten even and taught one another a lesson. After a the hellthat's went on how can one not learn a lesson from this madness.Hope to hear from you soon...Hugs,JD ------------------------------------------------------------------ Does it sound to you like JD is being coerced and manipulated here? Cause it sounds to me like JD is the one initiating a scam to get his EOY title back. My friend did exactly the right thing and blocked JD and ignored the emails, as did I, until JD launched his public slander on this thread. JD followed his typical pattern, and "Babe, help me because it would be really nice if you helped me despite the fact that I've already abused you" gradually transitioned into "You fucked with me and if you don't do what I want i am going to publicly fuck with you because you deserve it." Welcome to the heart and mind of JD Daniels. The whole premise of the email and the whole set of slanderous emails is ridiculous. My friend was not on either of the two teams of people that were raising money for Rentboy last year. It's not a priority of his, which is fine. He is actually somebody that cautioned me about JD, before I met JD, and in retrospect I feel like I was a fool for not listening to him. In my defense, at that time my friend was warning me not to trust JD mostly based on his own good intuition, not the type of documented facts about ongoing harassment and extortion and lies we have now. Like many people, including Daddy and Oz, I wanted to give JD the benefit of the doubt. The internal logic of this email makes no sense and is typical JD. I was not "behind" on my donations. In classic JD style, there are all these little insinuations that a website like this one is going to be used to make somebody look bad, and unnamed people are saying bad things about me because I somehow look bad. I can post every fake email JD produced, but that theme just escalated: that I was behind on my donations, unnamed people were saying bad things about me, and eventually JD decided to throw in that apparently I was also losing my house. Needless to say, that came as a shock to me. What JD sent this other escort was written as a series of replies to emails this other escort allegedly sent from his Rentmen account, according to JD. I don't advertise on Rentmen, so honestly i don't have a clue about how Rentmen's emails or servers work. This is all like a sort of weird, distorted Hillary Clinton thing. I do know this. At least two escorts I know have recently contacted Rentmen and Rentmen has put JD on warning for falsifying emails that he wrote but that he claimed were sent by other escorts through the Rentmen servers. According to what I was told by these escorts, Rentmen did their due diligence and told the escorts the emails did NOT go through their servers. (Que the keyboard. In typical fashion, I'm sure JD will have some ridiculous explanation for that, if he is given a chance to lie more). So for about a month I was receiving pretty much daily emails from my escort friend that included verbatim copies of forged emails written by JD that supposedly came from my friend's Rentmen email account and were addressed like this: "escort@rentmen.com." (I removed the escort's actual name because this is slander and it should remain private. He is blameless). Then when the escort contacted Rentmen and they responded to JD with a warning, JD changed all the emails so they no longer read "escort@rentmen.com," they read "escort@gmail.com," consistent with the escort's own personal email address. So I have a mailbox full of letters apparently sent from my friend to JD that first all came through Rentmen, and then came through Gmail. Funny how once JD got warned by Rentmen, where all the emails were sent from magically changed to come from somewhere else. And they all prominently include language that sounds just like JD, and not at all like my friend, for example the prominent use of the word, "BABE," as you see in JD's email above. In the time we were friends I have seen JD act completely irrationally and do a lot of stupid things. Lashing out at Daddy because Daddy wouldn't give JD whatever he wanted was pretty stupid. But by far the stupidest thing JD is doing right now is poisoning the well between him and Rentmen. Every escort I know views Rentmen as their primary source of income. So if he fucks that up, he fucks up the whole show. The person who has the most to lose from JD's antics is JD. Honestly, to be brutally honest, my clients are incredibly relieved that I now having nothing to do with JD. Most of them saw my association with him as an example of white liberal naivete, and many of them are (not inappropriately) laughing their asses off at my misplaced trust. Score one for Bozo The Clown, Miami Looker, and a group that JD affectionately refers to as "JD haters." As has been pointed out before, the self serving nature of JD's sudden passion for Rentboy's defense is transparent. Last year those of us who defended Rentboy publicly and financially got a lot of shit from a lot of clients. JD saw what was happening to me and others and headed for the hills. I don't blame him for that, it was his choice. But I do blame him now for manufacturing a pack of lies to slander me and a friend of mine, fuck with Rentmen, fuck with Rentboy's legal defense, fuck with Daddy, fuck with Oz, and fuck with all of you. It's despicable, and it has nothing to do with the good of the community. To end where I started, I think the very act of having this discussion diminishes me, diminishes JD, diminishes Oz, and diminishes this community. A lot of people have endured a lot of abuse and 99 % of it has been kept private. JD chose to make this latest slander public, and I held my fire until I became the victim of this public slander. I have every right to call JD on it and ask that this slander be removed. It is sad that he wants to keep inflicting new wounds, primarily to himself, which is why I think it would be merciful for him to just do what he claims he is doing: work it out with a therapist, and get better.

Exactly. That's exactly right, and exactly how. JD and I actually have a lot in common. We bother suffer from verbal diarrhea. But I can be short and sweet. He's hurt and alienated at least dozens of people including some of the most respected escorts around and some of the most prominent posters on both of these websites. I suppose we could all suck it up and just spend months tolerating the abuse, or have a bunch of people all spend thousands on a bunch of lawyers. But I can tell you from personal experience: it ain't fun. I just don't think abusers deserve to be given a forum to abuse and slander, at least once they make it incredibly and very painfully clear that their goal is to slander and abuse.

You'd have to be way more specific, but rethink what, regarding what 4 or 5 people? I am saying that JD Daniels is a community killer and that there are dozens of people, at the very least, who think he is out of control. I can happily redact the names from dozens and dozens of private emails and messages I have received over the past year from prominent, respected members of the community that posts on both sites asking me to try to talk some reason into JD, when I was still trying to be his friend. So this isn't about 4 or 5 people, it's to my knowledge at least about dozens, and probably hundreds. I have no idea exactly how many people JD has lied to, bullied, abused, and extorted, but it's for sure a big number. You are entirely correct that none of what I mention above and the hurt caused to dozens, or more likely hundreds, has anything to do with this website. My point is simple: why should it? JD is like a fatal bacteria that infects a body and gradually destroys it. It took a lot of drama and pain and bullshit and hurt to get the bacteria excised from the community over at Daddy's, but it is gone. Do you guys really want it to now poison this website? Do you feel excited that he is using your website that you build to treat each other respectfully as a cannon from which to launch bile and slander and hate? I can't see what's in that for you, or me, or even JD.

Thank you. Let me amplify your point. Allegations of rape and threats to sue people in court have real world consequences. This is not a game. I have no idea why JD seems hellbent on destroying his own credibility, but I have no interest in seeing JD destroy himself even further on this website. Or the credibility of my friends. Or me. I have been advising the escort JD is slandering NOT to file a restraining order. I had to do that once in my life, a decade ago, against a client who went bonkers. It was emotionally draining. It is not a good place to be. And even though I am no longer JD's friend, I have no ill will for him. I truly wish this would just die. Removing this thread and removing this soapbox for JD to rant from is an excellent way to do that and is way better emotionally than forcing people to drag this out in a real court of law. Every word I am writing I am writing reluctantly as a plea to stop the madness. Let me say one other thing, about fairness and censorship. JD wants to believe I "hated" Daddy, and he is using that in his Abuse 101 toolbox and has been for months to try to create a rift that doesn't exist between Daddy and me, and to try to intimidate me. JD has no knowledge of what he is actually referring to, but let me tell the world about that, since you are right and the world likes controversy. Years ago Daddy posted a very negative review about Kristian from LA that everybody, including me, believed was fake. A controversy ensued, and I made the case that the alleged fake review should be removed, or at least flagged. I pointed out that the "flag" tool had been used against my best friend, the deceased escort Bill, years ago, when we first both appeared on Daddy's. Long story short, Daddy decided not to remove or flag the review, because even though he thought it was fake, he couldn't prove it. He essentially said he would run his website as he saw fit. That pissed me off, and I let him and other people know how I felt. In retrospect, hindsight being 20/20, I think I was burnt out, and I was scared shitless about the fact that the housing market had been pushed off a cliff. In retrospect, I think for a few years I needed to crawl under the covers and hide, and recharge. I eventually went back and saw that that controversy was pretty much the last time I posted for years. Back then, I was scared shitless about what was happening to the housing market, and I know many good people that lost their homes. What is sad and ironic about JD's slurs that I am losing my house NOW is that I feel incredibly lucky, my home value is going up like a helium balloon, and any of you that own real estate in markets like California know exactly what I am talking about. Beyond that, due to certain circumstances, my friend Oliver asked to use my home for a few years to host his party, and I felt honored. JD could not be more wrong. It's sad that he can't seem to pay his own rent, and lashes out and makes up lies and blames it on persecution, just like everything else, but that is so ........ well, 2015. I've been done with that bullshit for a year. Back to Daddy, looking back on that period what seems obvious to me is that you had a community of fair-minded people trying to be fair to Kristian. Some said give Kristian the benefit of the doubt, some said don't. It was an honest disagreement, and I think I just used whatever I felt to take a much needed break. Several years ago I sat for an hour with Daddy and Oz at a party at Oliver's house. I think everybody knows there is a history and they are not the best of friends. What I admired is how respectful each of these two men was to each other. I know Daddy much better than Oz, but I have to believe they are both good men trying to build a website that fosters and supports a community of people like ..... well, us. I have to believe they are both doing their best to run an honest and fair website, with fair and honest reviews. Many people I know post on both sites. This whole JD thing did have the ironic effect of bringing me much closer to Daddy. In a nutshell, it is 100 % clear to me that Daddy reached out to JD and tried to help him, and JD ultimately responded by trying to tear Daddy down. It made me respect Daddy more, and lose all respect for JD. This madness is a community killer. JD is a community killer. I am not a fan of censorship, but I am a fan of fairness. I don't think it's fair to a community to let one sick man with a well documented history of abuse continuously try to tear it apart simply to give his own ego and pocketbook what it needs.

I ignored this post and all JD's other posts until now because I was hoping he would not follow through on what he has been threatening to do for weeks: use emails he faked that supposedly came from an escort's Rentmen email account to slander my friend and me to try to get to Daddy and try to redeem himself. Suckrates is right: in trying to get his worthless EOY title back, JD is simply demonstrating how unethical he is. Give it up, JD. JD's confusion stated in his own words above should tell you everything you need to know about the ethical swamp that exists in his mind. He is comparing his own crass efforts to promote himself and lie, blackmail, and bully himself into being Escort of the Year with a very different community effort that engaged dozens of good hearted people in an effort to strengthen and fund a website that provides a community forum, primarily for Gay men who want to explore their sexuality freely, in a way that promotes respect, not shame. Of course JD is confused about why he got "beheaded." He doesn't know the difference between selfishness and self-interest. The best phrase that sums up a community that operates on self interest is this: "I am my brother's keeper." Every major religion in the world has a parable like the Good Samaritan that encourages ethical people to act is if what is being done by them was being done to them. That is what JD doesn't get. He is good at being selfish. Beyond that, he has a very hard time seeing what the world looks like beyond his own lonely, angry, raging soul. I truly feel sorry for him.

You are right about that, Suckrates. JD won't stop. I have lots of abusive texts and voicemails to prove it. My escort friend has just gone through months of emotional abuse. Another escort friend feels like JD single-handedly is trying to destroy his career by alleging a rape that never occurred. None of that is subjective. People who actually rape go to jail. Slander and abuse and lies are not subjective. JD uses this made up shit to hurt people. It actually does really hurt people. And I have no doubt if empowered to he will use it to take my friend to small claims court, which is what he is specifically asking for advice on. That will further hurt my friend. For real. It all fits into JD's Abuse 101 toolbox because he'll then delude himself into thinking that somebody here told him he is being persecuted and therefore he has no choice but to do the right thing and sue my friend because JD himself manufactured a bunch of bullshit. If one person is abusing a lot of people, one solution can in fact be that all the people being abused can be told to be silent and tolerate the abuse. If that is your advice, Suckrates, maybe you really are a Dame, or actually a nun, because that is how the Catholic Church operated for decades. The simpler way to stop an abuser is simply to prevent him from using public forums of decent people to abuse decent people. There are clear legal and ethical standards for abuse, slander, and extortion, and JD has crossed way over that line many, many times. I am glad you privately suggested to Oz that he not let JD use this website to do that. I appreciate that. I have been monitoring this site for months, including earlier attacks on me, and I figured the correct approach is to play this like Oz: to be fair and see if, given a chance, JD will stop abusing. He hasn't. He just found a new place to abuse. Beyond that, I miss you and your wicked funny posts.

I could not agree more. JD has been circulating slanderous emails privately for over a month and threatening to use this site to blackmail and advance his selfish interests. It is wrong. You are right, Lucky. I have the right to defend myself from slander, but I agree with you completely, Lucky. It would be unnecessary to defend myself if this site could not be used by JD to slander. That's all JD has done since he arrived here. This entire thread is slander and needs to be removed. JD is no good for this community, or any community. Without going into private details, Lucky, I know you are a good man who has contributed greatly to the LGBTQ community. I feel I have to. I don't feel this community deserves this. Please, Oz, don't make me use your website to defend myself from outrageous slanders that JD will use to divide yet another community, hoping desperately to advance his cause. Lucky is right. Nobody has anything to gain by this kind of divisive bullshit.