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TotallyOz

Joke for the Day: Add more if you want

By TotallyOz, in The Beer Bar

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wayout Experienced

wayout

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You think English is easy? I think a retired English teacher was bored...

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

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RA1 Grand Master

RA1

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960175_277137942430500_1016052222_n.png

I have always thought of certain latex or non-latex devices as wonderments. They can prevent disease AND pregnancy all at once. Gloves from the same material have some of the same properties and, like all 5 fingered items can often perform the same service.

Best regards,

RA1

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RA1 Grand Master

RA1

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You think English is easy? I think a retired English teacher was bored...

All this time I was thinking that perception was reality and now I see it is all context. :smile:

Best regards,

RA1

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

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AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

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All this time I was thinking that perception was reality and now I see it is all context. :smile:

Best regards,

RA1

There really is no text -- only pretext, context and subtext.

I forget whether I heard that at Yale, or some bar in Washington Heights. :shifty:

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wayout Experienced

wayout

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Continuing with our English language as a conundrum....

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

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RA1 Grand Master

RA1

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wayout-

I think we need Charlie PS to make a comment on your "conundrum". I think English has the most "exceptions" to rules of grammar, the most idioms and likely the most slang of any language. But I wouldn't mind further comments.

Best regards,

RA1

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Guest hitoallusa

Guest hitoallusa

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I love it! AS, not agree with the ultra safes though.. I think you would make a wonder husband if you stick to that table...^_^

558047_10151470850829748_876811194_n.jpg

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