PeterRS

And i suppose you think that is funny. Haha!

I have no desire whatever to start a topic on sex meet ups, thank you. As for my point, it relates exactly to the thread title.

I wish I could understand that post!

I still fail to understand why bios are regarded as accurate when we know so many are not!

It still pisses you off? The history of Hollywood and indeed most of the entertainment world has for well over a century had gay men and women who stayed in the closet for one reason or another. Why it should concern any of us today rather amazes me. Do you plan to out him or anyone else for that matter? Surely there is much more in our world that is a great deal more important.

Does anyone really believe in the accuracy of bios on the apps and social media?

Never heard of him. Is he famous or something? It frankly doesn't matter to me one jot if someone is in the closet but pretending to be straight. Why should it concern others? There may have been a certain fascination about a movie star or two possibly being gay more than four decades ago. We're surely beyond that now. It should be no-one else's business.

A new book likens him to a figure from Shakespearean tragedy: an outwardly haughty and sometimes magnificent figure, inwardly insecure and indecisive, self-regarding only in his own downfall. A Richard II perhaps; even Hamlet. In a book of many ironies, the fact is that of those close to him, few loved him. Certainly not as much as he loved himself. Most in his country came to loathe him with an intensity that surprised much of the world. “He was a difficult man to like – so suspicious, so certain we were all trying to do him down,” said the British Ambassador, before surprisingly adding, “And yet there was a naked vulnerability about him which made you genuinely sorry for him.” So writes a reviewer in The Guardian of an important and telling book “King of Kings”. The book’s subtitle “The Unmaking of the Modern Middle East” may promise more than it actually delivers, but there is enough to demonstrate that the Shah of Iran was not merely the author of his own downfall. It had vastly greater international consequences. In fact the world has still not recovered from the events of January 1979 when the Shah of Iran finally left his country for good. As the reviewer states, the aftershocks resulting from that departure and what followed are still “not over yet.” As has been discussed in other threads, the destabilisation of Iran really started with the actions of the CIA and its British allies when in 1953 they engineered the overthrow of the elected Prime Minister of Iran, Mohammad Mosaddegh. In his place they put back on the throne the young Shah, a man whom they considered far more likely to become a pawn of the west. Mosaddegh had planned to nationalise Iran’s oil industry which, till then, paid Iran peanuts. The western governments had no truck with the nationalisation plan, the more so at a time when the Soviet Union was also looking to get its hands on Iran’s oil. Even when the Shah had become a megalomaniacal figure, he was still courted by the west. By then the west lauded him as a figure of stability in an increasingly unstable part of the world, lavishing on him billions of $$$ in armaments and cash to secure his regime. Then he turned on those masters by siding with OPEC when it raised the price of oil manyfold in the 1970s resulting in a major international recession. In the meantime he allowed a tidal wave of corruption to overwhelm his country. As unrest grew his Savak secret police became a hated organisation. The author Scott Anderson suggests that the immediate cause of the revolution that brought the severe Ayatollah Khomeini to power was one now rarely discussed. Exactly a year before he was forced from Iran, the Shah entertained US President Jimmy Carter and his wife in Tehran. Carter complimented the Shah on multiple achievements, even as crowds were beginning to demonstrate on the streets against the Shah’s hated rule. The Shah took this as a further acknowledgement of his success. He decided to further vilify the exiled cleric Khomeini then resident in France. He instructed a minister to publish an article about Khomeini being a British agent. This lit an intense fire of indignation and loathing against the Shah. It was one he could not extinguish. The reviewer suggests that the book overly concentrates on the US/Iran relationship to the exclusion of others. But it offers a clear-eyed extensive portrait of a man who was to consider himself, like King Lear, more sinned against that sinning. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/jul/28/king-of-kings-by-scott-anderson-review-how-the-last-shah-of-iran-sealed-his-own-fate

Nice cartoon from today's Guardian in the UK.

Having looked at the numbers, it does seem to me that it is in fact quite considerably cheaper - although as others have pointed out only for one sector trans-Pacific flights and you don't earn miles. On the other hand, as also pointed out above, business class nowadays often is just a basic fare with meals and drinks and its own raft of add ons. If it ever flies from Bangkok to Europe, I would certainly consider it as I am perfectly happy to take all I might need with me other than a decent blanket.

I have never used Airbnb, perhaps because I now spend only a few nights in one place on my travels. Some years ago I did try to find one in Taipei which is my most regular destination. There was only one near the city centre which I really liked but it had no television. Not a major dealbreaker although I do tend to watch one of the international news channels once a day. What killed it for me was it was only a few $$ less than my regular 3-star hotel nearby. And the hotel offers a bigger and better equipped bathroom (rooms have a really large bath which I love because I tend to walk a great deal in Taipei - and it is large enough for two!) The Guardian today has the tale of a London-based lady who had booked an Airbnb in New York for two-and-a-half months earlier this year. Feeling unsafe in the area, she left early. Soon thereafter the host claimed she had caused US$16,000 of damage, a claim he backed up with photographs. The lady countered that she had a friend with her as she checked out and who could back up her statement that no damage had been caused. Airbnb rejected her appeal. It was only after the lady sent a compaint to the Helpline run by The Guardian who took up her case. Firstly Airbnb offered $665 compensation. Then a $1,130 refund, a fifth of the total cost of her booking. When this was rejected, she was finally refunded the full amount of her booking $5,660. It was then discovered that the images sent by the Airbnb host had been manipulated by using AI. As we know, manipulating images through the use of AI is now easy as a result of widely available cheap software. Airbnb has warned the host and said it will take such claims more seriously in future - isn't that what every company says when it has finally agreed to pay up? https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/aug/02/airbnb-guest-damage-claim-refund-photos

SchuwZ, said to be Berlin's oldest and biggest gay dance club has finally declared bankruptcy according to a post on Instagram. It was founded in 1977 and had been suffering financially for some years. Rising rents, declining attendance generally in the Berlin Club scene (especially an ageing core clientele) and the failure of a crowd-funding campaign which raised only €3,000 of a €150,000 target have all done nothing to help lower the monthly deficit of between €30,000-€60,000. Despite all this SchutZ hopes ways might be found for it remain open. The dying nighclub scene in Berlin became more pronounced last year. The gay and lesbian Busche Club which opened in 1988 and catered to a more international crowd finally closed. On New Year's Eve Watergate closed after 22 years. Wild Renate has announced plans to close at the end of this year. A planned motorway extension also poses a further threat to several popular clubs in the area around Ostkreuz railway station. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/aug/02/schwuz-berlin-germany-oldest-biggest-gay-nightclub-declares-bankruptcy

Love this clip showing Trump cheating at golf on his recent visit to Scotland. Well, what do you expect from one of the world's master cheats?

I had thought of adding this post to the thread about Love Without A Plan which considers the needs of a partner after one’s death. But this is about a plan whilst alive! Or perhaps, being more accurate, the need for a realistic plan. I can recall less than a handful of posts on the following issue over the last decade or so. It is a cautionary tale. It relates to relationships that some of us have had with Thais or other Asian boys who move with us to a new life in our own country. I have three friends whose similar relationships have worked out extremely well and where genuine love and caring have resulted in more than three decades together – two with Thais, one with a Japanese. Rarely, though, do I recall reading of instances where the Asian has moved to another country and this has not worked out, for one reason or another, resullting in his returning home. I fell into this category. It all took place 30 years ago and started with a visit to the original Babylon. Hanging around by the private rooms hoping to find some pleasant company for an hour or so, I heard a voice behind me. The accent was Australian. Turning around I was about to say I was not interested in western guys. But there looking at me was the most handsome young Thai whom I shall name Noom. Background story is long. The relatively shortened version is that when he was about to finish school in Kanchanaburi, he had met an Australian in Bangkok. This man, whom I shall just call X, was in his mid-40s, very shy and not really into gay sex, primarily I think because of that shyness. But he really wanted companionship. Although not particularly well off, he offered to fly Noom to Sydney, put him up in the second bedroom in his house and pay for studies at Macqaurie University, one of the country's best. Why he would seek to find someone in Thailand rather than one of the many young Thais in Sydney always baffled me, until I also realised X was basically a loner. For nearly three years, all went well. As one who enjoyed gay life, Noom loved Sydney. He was not going to let his friend's lack of interest in the sex scene spoil his enjoyment. Saunas were very much his thing, and he was almost a star because of his body and his looks. But it was not to last. X found himself out of a job during a recession. Now he could no longer afford Noom's last year at university and thus no degree. Being friends, they decided on a solution. X would put his house up for rent, both would fly to rent an inexpensive townhouse in Bangkok where Noom applied to compete his course at the English speaking ABAC University on Ramkhamhaeng. Noom's sister agreed to generally look after X and the house, all of which the Sydney rent would cover – but only just! It was only weeks later that I bumped into Noom in Babylon. After we found a room, amazingly for me all we did was hold each other and chat. No sex! He was beautiful, intelligent and just lovely to be with. I suggested I take him for dinner. After a meal at the popular Whole Earth on Langsuan we started walking towards the Hyatt Hotel where my client had put me up. It was clear he wanted to come to my room where we ended up doing what we had planned to be doing earlier in the evening! Before he left, we both said we'd like to see each other again. I was in my last months working for a company in Tokyo before starting another back in Hong Kong. But my existing brief covered the whole of East Asia and I had a lot of trips still to make. That meant I could fly to Bangkok almost each week for a day or two. End result: we saw a great deal of each other, each time both seemingly becoming more and more infatuated. Certainly I was falling hopelessly in love. Although my new contract was on my desk, I had not signed it. After a lot of thought, I made a serious suggestion to Noom that I not sign it. Instead I’d use up savings to come and spend a year living with him in Bangkok until at least he had his degree. What would happen thereafter I honestly had not considered. Red flag #1. A year seemed such a long time! Apart from his concern over where that would leave X - I always assumed back in Sydney - he said he no longer wanted to live in Bangkok. He wanted to come and stay with me in Hong Kong. Visiting would have been easy. Living permanently vastly more difficult. He'd need an ID card. Without that he could do precious little. Crucially I also had no idea if I could get him into a university to finish his degree. A lecturer friend thought it was just possible, but far from easy! So I did think a lot about it from as many angles as I could and of course I should have said a firm ‘No!’. On the other hand I had many quite influential colleagues in Hong Kong whom I felt could help me get over many the hurdles. Besides, he was adamant. Naively, I gave in. Red flag #2. I did find a way to get him an ID card but the process took many weeks. University was a very different matter and I had been right to be concerned. For him to forfeit the accomplishment of two years of a degree course in Sydney would have been so utterly unfair. Red flag #3. In the meantime, evenings, nights and weekends with him were just a total joy. I merely regretted all the time I had to be away from him working at the new job. Then with Christmas on the horizon, I asked him where he'd like to go for a short vacation. Just as he said Australia, I received a request from my new boss to attend meetings in Melbourne in the run up to Christmas. We decided on a few days in Melbourne followed by a week in Sydney where we both had friends. The destination settled, I was booked in under my name at Melbourne's Hyatt. Noom spent much of the time with his friends when I was working. On our third morning, I was up early and noticed a fax under the door. Since Noom was not a paying guest, the envelope was in my name. Noom was still fast asleep. I then realised my new world was in fact a fantasy. It was a handwritten note to Noom from a professor in Sydney. Basically it said that when he got to Sydney this guy would be thrilled to continue their relationship and for Noom to stay with him. In effect the thought began to hit me that I had been virtually a means to an end. And this was clearly why Noom did not want to stay in Bangkok. I sent a fax to the professor guy to tell him Noom and I were now in a relationship and we would be going back to Hong Kong after Sydney. Quite how I never discovered, but Noom found his response. That basically said he understood and wished Noom and me all the best. But Noom’s attitude thereafter totally changed. He was very angry that I had read the original incoming fax. For two days he became almost insufferable. I also became perhaps too obstinate. As it looked as though our relationship might be coming to an end, then what was the point of his staying with me in Sydney? I told him that either he decided to spend our week together in Sydney to give us time to see what could be worked out, or I would change his ticket and have him fly back to Bangkok as soon as we reached Sydney airport. This was all a part of Noom I had never seen before - or even with any other Thai guy. A total change, almost an about turn. I tried to see it from his point of view - and in that I had a degree of success. But it did not lessen the pain. If he stayed on with me in Sydney and then moved in with the other guy, he'd still eventually have to return to Hong Kong to pick up everything he had left in my flat. How could he afford to do that? How would I feel? As his mood just did not change, I came to the conclusion it would be best to send him back to Bangkok. At least there he would be able eventually to finish his degree. Since I knew where he lived in Bangkok, on future visits I was tempted to go over to that part of town and at least apologise for the part that I played in disrupting his life. But I didn't. Of course I blamed him for withholding information about what he could have called a 'previous' relationship Sydney. On the other hand, I also blamed myself for not seeing the red lights flashing. Yet I often wondered: how by coming to Hong Kong did he expect we would eventually be going to Australia so that he could be with the other guy? I suppose at some point I must have told him that as I would be reporting to the regional office in Sydney, that might mean I'd have to attend occasional meetings there. Like more than a few have done, I had let my heart overrule my head – in a big way. And I ought to have been perfectly well aware of this. It is advice that every visitor to Bangkok is told to avoid! After I had packed up what he had left in Hong Kong, I never saw him again. If that episode with Noom finally made me realise one thing, it is that unlike my three friends mentioned at the outset I was clearly far too wrapped up in my work to devote the time and the understanding to making a relationship with a Thai or any other Asian develop and mature outside his own country. I learned the hard way. I should just have been content with the adventures I had always had with lovely guys in Hong Kong. I hope others are much more realistic when they visit Thailand and fall for the boy of their dreams. We do need to consider their dreams and possible motives just as seriously as our own.

Most sources agree he was beheaded at the age of 26, the same age as Frederick. Its on-going mental trauma on the young Frederick must have been horrific.

That is not what the poll was about. As I wrote, a majority of the people of Taiwan, an island I visit 3 or 4 times each year, have voted regularly in poll after poll that they do not want independence. That is what matters to them and I suspect - but obviously do not know - that any form of declaration of independence is what China is afraid of. Why is it almost always foreigners who bring up the issue of Taiwan independence and who play the Taiwan card, usually for their own benefit?

Just looked again at this thread. Frankly I do not know where you found that porn but I reckon you must know that dissemination of images of sexual acts in China is punishable by law. You'll also know that taking pictures of sexual activities in a private setting and sharing them also violates privacy rights and would almost certainly be deemed a criminal offence. Having visted China dozens of times and with Chinese gay friends living there, not only is Telegram banned (as mentioned earlier), very few social media sites would dare carry the type of porn you describe in the OP and its volume. Gay porn is very much under the radar to avoid action from the police. So I wonder where it originated - certainly not China.

But I still would not tell him that to his face, sorry. Only if he was a very good friend would I even broach the subject. Otherwise, it's his money to spend as he wishes in my view.

I was also there relatively recently. Frankly I found it boring. Even the beach where my hotel was located was tiny. If you go at the end of the year, you have to remember that Hua Hin is very exposed to the winter monsoon winds. On three of my five days it was even chilly lying by the pool! I had been decades ago and enjoyed it. Not this time, though.

Politeness. A desire not to intrude on other people's lives. The possibility that we might then become a target of their criticisms and longer-term verbal sparring breaking out. Example. My father was a doctor working for Britain's National Health Service. Doctors' pay was poor in those days and he had only one interest other than ensuring his children had a good education. He loved cars. Every five years or so he would get a new one. Nothing fancy in any way. Just a nice car. He loved showing them off, whereas I am sure some thought he was being stupid - a) for upgrading a car relatively quickly in those days, and b) for being so pleased about his purchase. But I can not recall anyone calling that "stupid, unreasonable or weird". It gave him joy and no one wanted to take that away from him.

In Asia there were also quite a number of examples of friendships/love between adolescent youths and older men. The elite samurai in Japan were well known to have had boy apprentices learning skills in martial arts and the samurai code of honour who in effect became bedmates. The relationships ended once the boys came of age later in their teens. Yet perhaps oddly, I think it is true to write that those who have portrayed Japanese history in recent culture including in books and movies have steered well clear of this "nanshoku" until very recently. None of the hundreds of movies about samurai, including those by the great movie maker Akira Kurosawa, even hint at nanshoku. Historically the names usually given to the practice were nanshoku (男色), shudō (衆道) and wakashudō (若衆道). As the practice was eventually discouraged in the late 18th century, attractive boys took to the stage to act in kabuki dramas, for example, or to become prostitutes. In Korea there are many references to the love of older men for younger boys, although not quite as young as with the Japanese samurai. During the Silla Dynasty, King Hyegong who ruled from 765-780 AD was known for his adventures with other men. He was even described as “a man by appearance but a woman by nature.” One group of his elite warriors were the Hwarang or ‘Flower Boys’, so called because of their homoeroticism and femininity. During the later Koryŏ Dynasty, King Mokjong (997-1009 AD) and King Gongmin (1351-1374 AD) are both on record as having several male lovers. When his wife died, Gongmin even went so far as to create a Ministry whose sole purpose was to seek out and recruit young men from all over the country to serve at his Court. His sexual partners were called “little brother attendants”! Good fly on the wall hanky panky there, I think!

Interestingly, Lehrer had little interest in what he was paid for his performances. At a time when artists with even a remote degree of popularity had lawyers draw up all manner of documents to protect their copyrights, Lehrer did the opposite. He had one drawn up allowing anyone to use his works in any way at any time at no cost.

So far it seems that the faults under the Pacific are more serious than those under the west coast of the USA. In the last 21 years we've had the giant 9.2-9.3 eathquake off Indonesia which resulted in the horrific Indian Ocean tsunami in 2004, the devastating 9-9.1 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami in 2011, and now the 8.8 quake off eastern Russia. The biggest California quake in the last 40 years was just 7.4. I wonder how the state, and LA in particular, would cope with one closer to 9. The devastation would I suspect be utterly disastrous.

I assure you that the "special delights" I mentioned did not exclusively refer to temples and palaces! Paraphrasing a post I wrote some months ago, it did not take long for me to become a voracious Suriwong, Ni-chome and other gay districts attendee - well, let's be honest, slut!

Another massive quake has hit, this time to the east of Russia. 8.8 on the Richter scale is a huge earthquake getting quite close to that off Japan in 2011 which resulted in such massive destruction. Evacuation orders have been posted in Japan and Hawaii and the first tsunami has now hit Japan's Hokkaido. Mercifully it was small. Tsunami warnings are in place all over the Pacific, even as far as Ecuador. The Russian Academy of Sciences has warned that aftershocks, possibly as large as 7.5, should be expected for the next month. https://www.bbc.com/news/live/c3r4x9yrrg4t