Trip report April / September 2025 – Da Nang & beyond – Research if an elderly gay retiree can live comfortably in Da Nang, Vietnam

[floridarob]

3 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

No, not yet.

All of the potential crime scenarios that I read about freaked me out.  When I am on vacation I don't like being in that heightened state of emergency alert mode - I find it exhausting at my age.

What floor is your condo in Jomtien.... that PFC should be concerning 🥺

I'm going to Mexico City, Rio and Sao Paulo in less than 2 weeks for a month.... I'll be staying in Rio in a penthouse, so I hope I haven't jinxed myself with a high floor balcony, lol

[bkkmfj2648]

3 hours ago, floridarob said:

I'll be staying in Rio in a penthouse, so I hope I haven't jinxed myself with a high floor balcony, lol

Is there already a RFC club in Rio?

My fear is not about the balcony. What is great about the high balconies and the PFC concept is that it empowers you on how you can control the destiny of your life.

My fear of Brazil is down on the street level, where other vicious factors can be controlling the destiny of my life without my permission.

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

 

My fear of Brazil is down on the street level, where other vicious factors can be controlling the destiny of my life without my permission.

look at floridarob, for all I know he wasn't robbed nor murdered in Brazil so be not afraid

[vinapu]

10 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

 when he just blurts it out -->  If you feel lonely you can invite me up to your room for some fun 🤔🤨

I was like WOW – very bold – unfortunately he is not at all my type. 

it looks Vietnamese can be very bold so don't overlook those opportunities.

It reminded me my own story from Hoi An. I went to tourist office to book a taxi as I wanted to visit infamous My Lai massacre site. There was young girl  and equally young guy on duty. I was served by girl but when all was done  out of blu guy asked " do you travel alone? " , ' yes ' , ' if you want when you return I can visit you in your hotel". All told in normal , not hushed voice with girl sitting right there. I was so shocked that , as idiot,  I did not take him up on his offer even if he looked quite attractive which I regret to this day.

What was even more shocking was that Hoi An is not a big city and still proposal was so blunt

[floridarob]

5 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Is there already a RFC club in Rio?

No and I don't plan on inaugurating one .....

 

 

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

look at floridarob, for all I know he wasn't robbed nor murdered in Brazil so be not afraid

No I haven't... and all the years going to both places, I've been robbed (things taken from my room)in BKK  from guys picked up at discos and never in Brazil.

[Keithambrose]

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

No and I don't plan on inaugurating one .....

 

 

No I haven't... and all the years going to both places, I've been robbed (things taken from my room)in BKK  from guys picked up at discos and never in Brazil.

Never mind, there's always hope!

[floridarob]

1 minute ago, Keithambrose said:

Never mind, there's always hope!

Hope of..... many things, maybe becoming a top again one day 🤕

[floridarob]

On 5/6/2025 at 3:33 AM, bkkmfj2648 said:

So, I eat next door at Pizza House

 

On 5/6/2025 at 3:33 AM, bkkmfj2648 said:

I order a Caprese salad, Australia Beef Tenderloin and a bottle of SanPellegrino water.

I was just thinking....not as fast as I thought 😆

You got a steak at a Pizza House.... kind of like @BjornAgain getting a burger at Dick's, a Thai restaurant, but it sounds like yours was good 😉

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, floridarob said:

.... kind of like @BjornAgain getting a burger at Dick's, a Thai restaurant,

I'm sure it was Thai burger or even Thaiburger

[PeterRS]

17 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

My fear of Brazil is down on the street level, where other vicious factors can be controlling the destiny of my life without my permission.

I was in Brazil only once - a day in Manaus and two in Rio. My first day in Rio was a very hot Sunday and churches were packed. Staying on Copacabana, I took a taxi to the centre and started walking around taking in the sights. After around 30 minutes I heard the sound of someone running toward my back. Seconds later there was a hand over my mouth and another grabbing a small gold neck chain. I shouted for help as best I could. As a nearby church was packed to over-flowing, three men came running toward me. My chain had a very difficult clasp and as the thief ran off, it fell to the ground. I was suprised that the police arrived very quickly - less than one minute.  

But it had been entirely my fault. I had read several guide books and all said make sure you have no valuables on you. I had been wearing that neck chain for about 15 years and never took it off - only because the clasp was so difficult to undo. I just forgot I was wearing it. In any case it was hidden under my T-shirt. But there must have been a glint in the sun which alerted the thief. 

I thanked the guys from the church and the police, returned to the hotel, put the chain in the safe and resumed my sightseing. That incident, though, did not spoil my trip if only because I knew I was at fault.

[bkkmfj2648]

37 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

That incident, though, did not spoil my trip if only because I knew I was at fault.

I am sorry for what happened to you - but I could not live in a country (especially as a retiree), where there is constant fear, which causes you to need to live in a constant state of heightened alert.  It is just too stressful and not worth it for me.

In Jomtien - it is VERY rare that I feel afraid.

In Cebu - there were some occasions where I felt afraid.

I am now in Day 15 here in Da Nang and I have not yet encountered any situations that made me feel afraid 🤞

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 14 in Da Nang – 7 May 2025

First thing that I notice when I wake up is there is already a message in my   inbox from the motorbike shop owner.  I feel guilty, but I ignore his message.

I look outside from my balcony and the city has a funky strange low cloud cover – one that reminds me of my time in Denver, Colorado.  The clouds are lower than the nearby mountain tops.

Consequently, this puts me in a malaise mood and so I am lazy most of the day.

I eventually go outside to eat a late lunch at .  Afterwards, I decide to push myself to walk in a nearby neighborhood (as I tend to be a creature of habit)  that I do not yet know – so I pick a French pastry shop from Social Samy’s Da Nang Treasure map and I walk there.  I find that I like this new neighborhood, as it is full of narrow treelined streets with lots of shade and there are many interesting types of shops, bars, and restaurants.

Torino Coffee & Bakery shop

https://www.instagram.com/torinobakery.dn/

I chose a meringue creamy strawberry cake that was incredibly tasty and delicious. I asked for a salt coffee (Cà Phê Muối ) – but there was some confusion – as they don’t serve it – so I took the standard brown with condensed milk Vietnamese iced coffee (Cà Phê Sữa Dá).

Before leaving I buy one almond croissant, coconut brioche, and 2 chocolate cookies for take away.

I meander through this new neighborhood and when I get to my enormous condo complex, I enter from the opposite side to avoid the motorbike rental place that is directly across the street.  Call me chicken.

I take a great nap and when I wake up it is already dinner time – I guess all I do in retirement is to eat and walk around….

At dinner time, I walk around some of the other streets in the new neighborhood on An Thuong 4, 3, and 2 – as they are great small streets full of life and interesting places.  A place that I saw earlier is packed so I settle on the Butcher Grilled restaurant.

https://www.facebook.com/butchergrilled/

I ordered the Filet Mignon plate with 2 sides; Sauteed Asparagus and Sauteed Mushrooms.  All was good and the meet was of good quality.  However, the Australia Beef Tenderloin that I ate yesterday at the Pizza House was more tasty and cooked more to my liking.  Yes, @floridarob, they do serve steak at the Pizza House – if you look at their menu that I posted yesterday you can see that the name is misleading as they are much more than pizza.

Last year when I was here, I found this wonderful free standing ice cream shop that was in front of the JJ market – but it is no longer there. However, in this new neighborhood, I discovered the Gioia Gelati ice cream shop.

Chocolate chip and Pistachio 

https://www.facebook.com/gioiagelati.vn

 

Before going to bed I respond to some of my former UN colleagues about the current new UN crisis, known as UN80:

https://www.passblue.com/2025/05/06/the-world-is-changing-fast-it-is-now-crucial-to-restructure-the-un/

This entire crisis frustrates me, because when I was working for the UN during my 20 year career there – I often suggested reforms, efficiencies, and many other creative ideas about how to make the UN more effective, efficient, and good value for money.  Unfortunately, it is a frozen bureaucratic dinosaur and probably 95% of my ideas were not considered, ignored, or rejected.  Often during my career, they would ask us rank and file what ideas should be considered, when they would bring in the BIG outside consulting companies (i.e., Deloitte, EY, KPMG, PwC, etc.), where we were told to submit our ideas to them.  Often, the draft proposal would be shown to us by the said consultants – but when the final draft would be released to the executive committee (EC)– often our ideas were already removed.  Sometimes I would protest to the above mentioned consultants and they would tell us that the EC removed them – but the UN would then tell the world that they consulted with its rank and file.  This was very degrading and disrespectful.  Back in 2016 and 2017 I proposed an amazing idea (at that time – not so amazing in 2025) to use the blockchain to allow us to track our donor contributions on the blockchain, so that the money spent for our UN activities could be monitored in real time from when the funds leave the donor’s bank accounts, all the way through to the end beneficiaries (farmers, war victims, school children, etc.).  What better way to be transparent and to allow our donors to see what we are doing with their contributions in real time.  Nobody liked this idea.

So, when I see the UN crying now because many governments are fed up with the chronic promises to reform, reorganize, etc. I do not feel much sympathy – because so many opportunities in my 20 years there ignored or wasted.  And I was only 1 of thousands of employees whose ideas were ignored.

Difficult to fall asleep – but eventually I manage.

 

End of day 14 in Da Nang – 7 May 2025

 

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

I settle on the Butcher Grilled restaurant.

 

hope they are grilling that butcher to perfection

[floridarob]

4 hours ago, vinapu said:

hope they are grilling that butcher to perfection

Faster then you think....

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, floridarob said:

Faster then you think....

then his meat would be too  hard to chew on

[PeterRS]

11 hours ago, vinapu said:

hope they are grilling that butcher to perfection

Can't help thinking about Stephen Sondheim's wonderful lyrics in "Sweeney Todd" when Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett are deciding what should go into her pies - lines like

MS. LOVETT:
What Mr. Todd, what Mr. Todd
What is that sound?

TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

MS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd, Yes Mr. Todd
Yes all around

TODD:
It’s man devouring man, my dear!

BOTH:
Then who are we to deny it in here?

TODD (spoken):
These are desperate times, Ms. Lovett
And desperate measures are called for

MS. LOVETT:
Here we are. Hot out of the oven 

TODD:
What is that?

MS. LOVETT:
Its priest
Have a little priest

TODD:
Is it really good?

MS. LOVETT:
Sir, it’s too good, at least
Then again they don’t commit sins of the flesh
So it’s pretty fresh

TODD:
Awful lot of fat

MS. LOVETT:
Only where it sat

TODD:
Haven’t you got poet or something like that?

MS. LOVETT:
No you see the trouble with poet
Is how do you know it’s deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer’s rather nice

TODD:
If it’s for a price

MS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice

TODD:
Anything that’s lean?

MS. LOVETT:
Well then if you’re British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway it’s clean
Though of course it tastes of wherever it’s been!

etc. etc.

copyright: Stephen Sondheim Estate

Being gay and as one who had visited London many, many times, Sondheim would have been perfectly aware of the gay reference to Royal Marines!

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 15 in Da Nang – 8 May 2025

Wake up and eat my yummy almond croissant that I purchased yesterday at the  I find that I am addicted to something that I have never ate before, Wasabi flavoured roasted cashews.

Have you ever tried these?  It acts as an excellent morning wake up call with that kick from the wasabi burning your nostrils.  It becomes addictive and they are delicious.

I post yesterday’s trip report update, respond to some friends back in Thailand, and read up more about the current UN80 crisis.

It is already 2:30pm and I am hungry for lunch, so I peruse Social Samy’s Da Nang Treasure map and I choose to visit:   .  

I am originally from New York, where bagels are king, and it has been many many years since I have eaten a wonderful bagel.

It recently opened, and it is located in the lobby of the Da Nang LIVIE hotel.

Hmm, ↑↑ nice rainbow colors on the ceiling ↑↑ – and the staff who served me was enticing.

https://www.facebook.com/gordonsnewyorkbagels/

I ordered the Chicken Club on a poppy seeded bagel and it was absolutely delicious. It was wet, moist, and juicy, just how I like my men….🤪

I needed a good walk after all of that enjoyment, so I head back to  

and today I tried their walnut cake.  It was good but yesterday’s strawberry meringue cream cake was so much better.

By now, it is late afternoon, I am feeling horny, so I head over to:

https://www.facebook.com/people/Hero-massage-spa/61575063357842/

https://www.instagram.com/hero_massage_spa/

This new massage place is only a 7 minute walk from my AirBnB condo building, and I sense that I may become a frequent visitor.  I walk in, and Hung (yes his real name) tells me to sit down on the sofa (after removing my shoes) to enjoy a refreshing cool tea drink.

Hung and I chat and he shows me the menu card, and there are many massage and/or waxing options.  At the bottom of the menu card there are 3 types of King Massage listed, and this is where he discreetly explains to me that if you choose any of these massages that you can touch the masseur and be given extra pleasure.  The differentiating point between these 3 types of King Massage are the time durations, of; 60, 75, or 90 minutes.  I choose the 75 minute version for 1,500,000 VND (around $58 USD).  Tip to the masseur is extra (as it is not included in the base rate).

I am shown to my room – which is directly behind the reception area – but I tell him that I need to pee and then he brings me to the bathroom at the end of the corridor which also has one of those open showers (meaning the water goes everywhere).

I return to the room and I get undressed and I put my belongings in a plastic box that he gave me which is then placed underneath the massage table.

In comes the masseur, and it was Hung – so I was like, hmm, maybe this is a one man shop?  More on that later.

Hung massages me very professionally with long firm strokes.  During the massage, another customer (he sounded British) came into the reception area, and since the room that I was in only has a window with a very slim curtain that separates my room from reception, I could hear everything.  Makes the situation somewhat more invisible voyeuristic.

Eventually, he puts my leg in the 7 position where he can then easily touch and stroke the genitalia.  Eventually, he tells me to turn over and then the fun begins and he makes me a very long edging type of HJ and I caress his young skinny body.  Hung is more twink than twunk.

When all is finished, he wipes me down very thoroughly with warm wet towels removing the massage oil and HJ explosion juice.

I get dressed and return to reception and now there is another Vietnamese guy working behind the reception computer.  Hung and I discuss:

• He (Hung) is originally from HCMC – but moved to Da Nang 2 years ago – because he fell in love with Da Nang city,
• He (Hung) opened this new Hero massage shop 2 months prior,
• He (Hung) is 28 years old,
• I asked if I could take a photo of the menu card with prices and he would not let me – not sure if there are any local regulations about publicizing this type of information,
• There is a 4 hands option on the menu card --> and in his FaceBook page there is a photo of this hunk:

 

Which I will try to book him on my next visit – wow!! 🤪😜 Stay tuned!! 🤩

Return back to my room feeling very elated and super relaxed – that I decide to skip to go out for dinner and instead I eat my banana cake that I had bought from the Torino bakery.

It is still too early to go to bed so I decided to watch the film:  WICKED on Google Play TV.

I had heard mixed reviews when this film was originally released so I did not go and see it – but I really enjoyed it – as it is well done with amazing visuals, choreography, dance routines, singing and includes many hidden messages about discrimination, empowerment and self growth.

 

So, I went to sleep on a very happy note.

 

End of day 15 in Da Nang – 8 May 2025

 

[spoon]

23 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Which I will try to book him on my next visit – wow!! 🤪😜 Stay tuned!! 🤩

A hunk indeed! Would grab him myself if i were there hehe

[PeterRS]

On 5/9/2025 at 10:09 AM, bkkmfj2648 said:

It is still too early to go to bed so I decided to watch the film:  WICKED on Google Play TV.

As an avid Broadway fan having seen many dozens of live shows, I booked a ticket for "Wicked" months before I arrived in New York. It is the only musical I can say I truly disliked and walked out of the theatre at the intermission. I hope the movie was better!!  But considering its two Oscar wins were only for design, I doubt it was much of an improvement! I note, too, that two of its three Tony Awards were for also for design; none for book, script, music or choreography. Mind you, I am no fan of "The Wizard of Oz" either and that no doubt affected my judgement!

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 16 in Da Nang – 9 May 2025

Wake up in a positive and happy mood.

I eat breakfast in my condo and I post yesterday’s trip report update.

Afterwards, I return to    for a great chicken club on poppy seed bagel with a Vietnamese salt coffee.  Now I am getting addicted to this place. 

As this place is in the lobby of the  hotel, today it was chaotic, as a large Russian tour group was checking out and waiting for their van transportation to arrive to pick them up – so they occupied most of the vacant Gordon’s Bagels tables and created a ruckus, as they had many children who were bored waiting for the van – so you can imagine the mayhem while I was trying to eat my yummy bagel.  But, having been a child myself, I remember my unruly days when I was bored….

While I am eating, I get a disturbing message on  from my ex boyfriend’s best and closest friend.  He is telling me that he wants to come to Da Nang.  I immediately understood the hidden message.  I only reply with this emoticon  hoping that it was a joke.  Then he becomes more insistent and I reply that this would not be a good idea, as I am already on the road to broken  heart recovery.  He starts sharing with me nice pictures of my ex boyfriend’s new fruit salad business and I am pleased that it “appears” to be successful.  There is some silence in our  conversation, and I am not good at hiding my emotions, so I leave the bagel shop and I start a LONG walk to the end of Da Nang city, where the beach promenade ends and the road starts to go up into the mountains.

The  conversation picks up again and now my ex’s best friend is sharing with me messages written by my ex telling me to let him come to Da Nang and that we can restart our relationship.  In that moment, I decided to BLOCK my ex’s best friend in  and now I am really an emotional mess.  Thank God no one knows me out here on the distant beach.

As I BLOCK more and more Thai people in  I get that awful feeling of being cut away from our starship known as, The Kingdom of Thailand   -->  where I am just drifting away into the abyss.

 

Before today, I was making great progress in healing my heart 💔 – I was even able to start having sex again, without tears exiting my eyes.  I guess, this is the battle with life, 1 step forward, 2 steps backwards….

By the time that I reach the start of the mountains and the city of Da Nang is now behind me, it is now getting dark and it starts to rain.  I am actually happy, because today is my 16^th day here, and it has not yet rained at all – so the raindrops feel good on my aching body. 

I dread the walk back, so I call a Grab car to take me back to civilization – it cost 106,000 VND (around $4.10 USD).  This has been my most expensive Grab ride to date.

By now it is more than 1 hour that I have BLOCKED my ex boyfriend’s friend – so I am doing better – as I am not being barraged with constant memories of my Thai love story.  I don’t want to return to my condo room yet, so I go to eat my dinner at    and I order the Blue Cheese burger with a nice beer (ci vuole).

https://www.facebook.com/flyburgersvietnam/

 

 

Afterwards, I go back to my room and call it a night, as I am both emotionally and physically exhausted.

Let’s hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

 

End of day 16 in Da Nang – 9 May 2025

[Guest Raposa]

On 5/6/2025 at 9:42 PM, floridarob said:

And Thailand has laws against prostitution and has had raids at different places over the years..... Bali is like it's own country, I went once to Elegantz, didn't care for it and I'm sure there's more to why it got raided.

My friend that does all the village travels says that the stricter the religion, the more hotter sexually and closeted the guys are and willing to hook up with a visiting foreigner.... even in Brunei his apps were blowing up.

I have no desire to go to Brunei, but in Jakarta, Bandung and Surabaya Indonesia, I can say that yes, sex was easy to get on the apps and yes, the guys were super horny as it's not their only "job" having sex every night with another customer, like punching a timeclock.... 

First of all: very impressive Atari credentials you have!

Instead of drawing comparisons to Thailand that is only peripherally relevant you can simply state that it is a risk you’re willing to take. Very simple. 

I didn’t care for Eleganz spa either, and your dislike does not come as a surprise either. I am more surprised, at this point, if you like something in Asia, other than the food. The closing of Elegantz did send a message and the other places have taken notice. So they are way more discreet now than before. I recently visited Bali by the way, but couldn’t be bothered to write a report. (I liked XXL spa btw). 

[Guest Raposa]

@bkkmfj2648 Thank you for your reports which are peppered with interesting details. You also reveal vulnerability in your reports that adds an interesting and touching dimension to your journey.

I found the massage places in HCM to give the places in Bangkok real competition in terms of price and quality. Eventually I would be interested in your assessment. 

[tm_nyc]

@bkkmfj2648, thanks again for your excellent & enjoyable posts!  It really is a reminder that I should return to Da Nang for another visit.  AND... I am looking forward to a detailed report if you make contact with the dreamboat at Hero Spa!

 

[bkkmfj2648]

2 hours ago, Raposa said:

Eventually I would be interested in your assessment. 

I am sorry to disappoint the expectation - as I want to stay on the seaside, as I tend to not like big crowded inland cities 😪 like HCM.  I have visited both Ha Noi and HCM in the past.

One of the purposes of this trip is to find a Jomtien equivalent in Vietnam, which for me, so far, Da Nang wins in every category except for:

- lack of a retirement visa in Vietnam,

- no real gay entertainment scene where you can hook up with the local Vietnamese guys - there is no Supertown / Boyztown equivalent - as gay life here is mostly underground.  In this area, Cebu had more of a gay life than Da Nang does.

 

[floridarob]

7 hours ago, Raposa said:

Instead of drawing comparisons to Thailand that is only peripherally relevant you can simply state that it is a risk you’re willing to take. Very simple. 

Namazu did a brilliant in depth comparisons a while back, was when this was still boytoy or something like that, was before you joined... maybe someone has the patience to find it and link here?

 

7 hours ago, Raposa said:

I am more surprised, at this point, if you like something in Asia, other than the food.

Hotels, food, massage, business class flights and occasionally good, passionate,  non mechanical sex>

What's your experience been like in Colombia, Brazil or even Mexico, DR, Panama?