Help, I’ve been kidnapped by an upper middle class Cambodian family and they won’t let me go.

[monsoon]

So, apologies in advance for the lack of sexy bits in this trip report. It’s more about my encounters with an upwardly mobile Cambodian extended family, and their incredible kindness towards me on my trip. ( I do finally get to visit SpaceHair at the end)
 

So some background, I’m 60, been following the various thai forums off and on for 20 years and always dreamed about moving to thailand, but life got in the way, and this is my first trip to Asia. I live and work in an extremely multicultural area of Southern California and one of  my colleagues is Nat, 43, straight guy from Cambodia who has become a good friend. Nat moved to the USA about 8 years ago, and subsequently brought his parents over and recently his 10 year old daughter. 
 

I am in the process of retiring from my job and and I have a few months of sick leave to burn so I start planning a month long trip to thailand to explore if I might want to retire here. Nat tells me he’s going to be in Cambodia at the same time taking his parents back to live with other siblings, and so his daughter can spend summer vacation with her mom. “Why don’t you come over and I’ll show you some of Cambodia while you’re in the area.” Sounds like a good idea, when am I going to get a local friend to show me around?

My ticket to Bangkok is already purchased and is for four days ahead of Nat so I book myself two days at The Banyan Tree and then two days in Phnom Penh at the Harmony House. I spent my days in Bangkok walking around Lumpini park and Silom, and basically falling into a coma at 4pm. 
 

Go back to the airport to fly to Phnom Penh, Sky Anker line is a mile long but I’m early so it’s ok. Finally get to the front of the line “sorry, you can’t board, you don’t have a departure ticket. Ok, no problem, sell me a return ticket for a week from now. Sorry, no can, you have to do it on your phone and get in line again.” I kind of knew that an outbound ticket was required but I’d forgotten it so I practice my zen and then go back to the end of the line and start trying to buy a ticket on my phone. By the time I get back to the front of the line I have the ticket bought but the transaction won’t finalize. I show the counter agent the spinning hourglass on their website and she just sighs. “How much cash do you have on you?” Apparently if I can prove that I won’t be a burden to Cambodia she wont get in trouble for letting me on the plane. The $400 I had in USD and Baht caused her to sigh again, “Keep trying to buy ticket and show me at the gate.” She checks my luggage in and gives me a boarding pass. I get to the gate, ticket still isn’t ready so I cancel it and go on expedia and buy a refundable ticket that I can cancel after I get through immigration in Phnom Penh. Visa on arrival quick and easy, Cambodia also makes you preregister ahead of time like Thailand. No one ever checked the return ticket.

Arrive in Phnom Penh, take a grab car from the airport to my hotel. Am overwhelmed in a good and exciting way by the utter chaos and lack of traffic lights on the roads. When we get to the hotel in the Riverside Neighborhood I just break out into applause for the driver. He just laughs and holds up his hand and says “5stars” 

Nat had not seemed happy that I had booked a hotel in the Riverside Neighborhood, and had cautioned me about it. I had watched videos and it seemed fine, but I can see why a local might be a little embarrassed by some of it. I have never felt more handsome. The Harmony House was nice, with a rooftop pool and bar. My room had a cute balcony facing the street. Just beyond the hotel the street turns into a street market that I thought was cute until I was woke up at 5am to chickens and ducks being butchered. You gotta just laugh sometimes. 

More to come, hopefully the Thailand parts will be more sexy. I have just enjoyed these forums so much over the years and want to give whatever I can back. 

[khaolakguy]

Good start! Nice balance to your report.

[vinapu]

land borders are closed but thanks God it looks airlines are still flying.

Hope  you will have fun at Space Hair bar as I always do

[monsoon]

On the morning of my second day in Phnom Penh I get a text from Nat “we’re coming to pick you up, don’t eat breakfast” But first, a little background on Nat’s family.

Nat is the youngest of 4 children, a girl and 3 boys. Mommy and Daddy are in their late 70’s- early 80’s. Daddy had a stroke a while ago and walks with a bad limp, but doesn’t let that stop him. Mommy and daddy are always dressed really well and both wear a lot of jewelry. I have been out to breakfast with them several times in California and they always are happy and try to chat with me, even though we can’t speak each other’s language. 
Daddy is well liked and well connected. Every time we have gone out people come up to say hi to Mommy and Daddy. I asked Nat about it once and he said that Daddy helped a lot of people flee the Kymer Rogue and so Daddy is very well respected. 
The family are also members of the CPP (Cambodian Peoples Party) which seems to be the dominant political party. I have been invited to several CPP functions in California as Nat’s cock block, to keep the hostesses from setting him up with women he’s not interested in dating. I always get a good meal and drinks out of it.

Nat arrives in Sister’s double cab Ford Ranger truck, being driven by sister’s driver. These trucks seem to be very popular, I see them everywhere. I’m told it’s common for middle class families in Cambodia to have a driver, because driving and parking are such a mess. I’m surprised to see Mommy and Daddy in the back seat, knowing they got in very late the night before. “Mommy wants to take you to her favorite noodle shop for breakfast” and off we go to a busy open front shop across the street from the hospital where Mommy used to work as a pharmacist. Mommy and Daddy have not been back since covid but the second someone from the shop sees Mommy getting out of the truck all the staff are swarming the truck and helping them inside. It was indeed a tasty breakfast. Kymer food in my limited experience seems to have some overlap with Thai and Vietnamese, but not nearly as spicy. 
Breakfast over we run around doing some shopping and I’m told that we’re having lunch at Brother#1 house. At this point I still don’t know where we are sleeping. I was told not to worry about it but I made it clear that I was way too old to be couch surfing. Nat tells me he wants us to stay at sisters house, but apparently there’s been some question about it because #1 brother wants me to stay at his house. Nat doesn’t want to stay at #1 brother’s house because his soon to be ex-wife is also staying there. Apparently two brothers married two sisters, and Nat has to navigate his divorce very carefully, so he doesn’t offend his sister in law. It’s finally decided that we’ll be staying at sister’s Phnom Penh house, sister is at her house in Florida so there’s plenty of room. I last one day. 

[monsoon]

We get to brother #1’s house. It’s a large 3 story house surrounded by a wall, in a very mixed, eclectic neighborhood. They are surrounded by warehouses, small shops, tiny aluminum roofed houses, apartments and other houses like theirs. Brother#1 was a doctor for many years but now works for the government battling counterfeiting. Brother#1 doesn’t speak much English but his wife and children do. In fact, the children seem to default to English with each other. I was watching them play with each other without them noticing me and they were just chattering away in English. 
Brother#1 has a cook, and lunch is a large affair served on a big round table that easily seats 10, with a large lazy susan in the middle so everything is served family style. Among the dishes are a platter of some sort of fried grubworm, and also a platter of fried crickets. I try the grubworms, which are crunchy and mainly taste like the garlic and shallots they’re fried with. They were fine, but not really good enough to get over the eating bugs factor. I skip the crickets, the thought of crunching on the legs is too much for me. Lunch is followed by much beer drinking. I’m not much of a beer drinker, it tends to just make me bloated and uncomfortable, but they are encouraging me to try various beers made around Asia so I go along the best I can. 
Lunch had run late and long so dinner was mainly skipped, but brother #1 decides he wants to take the men out for more beer and music. 6 of us pile into brother#1’s Ford Ranger double cab ( yes, another one. Brother #1 also has a ford Explorer that he imported from the USA. His wife told me that he imported it after he saw the CHP driving them in California) and head out to a newly built entertainment complex that consists of several new blocks of restaurants, street food courts and small carnival style amusement rides for kids. The place we go to is covered but open air and has three U shaped levels of tables with the bar and a stage at the bottom. The service level is just phenomenal. We have two waitresses assigned to us who basically have our beer selections on ice in a large tub, and every time you take a couple of sips from your glass they refill it. There’s a band with a couple of singers alternating between Kymer and English hits. We also get food for the table, which includes another plate of grub worms. They seem to be a popular beer snack. No one will let me buy anything or contribute to the bill in any way. 
We leave and brother #1 drops Nat and I off at Older sister’s house. Now from all appearances older sister has a nice 4 story house in a gated community, probably about 25 years old. However when we get inside it’s clear that no one actually lives (or cleans) regularly in this house. Nat tells me his sister rarely stays there, preferring Siem Reap and the house is just a crash pad for members of the family. There are no tv’s, no linens in the bathrooms, and my bedroom is full of old clothes and sports equipment. The only rooms that seem lived in are the ground floor bedroom and kitchen, which mommy and daddy are using, and the driver’s studio apartment, which is actually quite nice. The next morning I tell Nat “Hey, as you know this trip is all about me deciding whether I want to retire in Asia or not. I can’t really do that out here in the suburbs. I’m going to book a hotel room in the city.”

No one entirely buys it but they all also understand. I book two nights at the Phnom Penh 51 Hotel and residences. Turns out to be a good choice in a nice neighborhood. 

 

[floridarob]

4 hours ago, monsoon said:

No one entirely buys it but they all also understand. I book two nights at the Phnom Penh 51 Hotel and residences. Turns out to be a good choice in a nice neighborhood. 

Is there where the local action will start?

[Latbear4blk]

1 hour ago, floridarob said:

Is there where the local action will start?

Are you getting anxious?

[khaolakguy]

Help, I’ve been kidnapped by an upper middle class Cambodian family and they won’t let me go. And apparently won't let you post now either!

[vinapu]

42 minutes ago, khaolakguy said:

Help, I’ve been kidnapped by an upper middle class Cambodian family and they won’t let me go. And apparently won't let you post now either!

likely ransom was declined

[monsoon]

Apologies everyone, my soon to be ex manager at work is being his asshole self and interrupting my vacation with nonsense. However I have brought my IPad to the beach and let’s see if I can finish this tale while the square jawed handsome Mr Noo gives me a foot massage. 
 

Nat runs me over to the new hotel and checks in with me so I can get 2 keys. It’s around noon and I ask Nat how guest friendly he thinks the hotel would be, the front desk is right in front of the elevator. He just walks up to the female desk clerk and has a conversation in Khmer that includes lots of laughter and joking and then tells me that I can bring anyone I want as long as they don’t look like a street person. The girl just smiles and nods at me with a grin on her face. Ok then..

With nothing on the agenda until dinner time I message Mr. Nate, who had been advertising his massage skills to me on hornet since I had arrived in Phnom Penh. I’m not really attracted to the slender boyish twink types and Mr. Nate was the only massage boy who had a larger framed, more developed physique. He came at 14:00 and I had a very happy 90 minutes with him. I gave him $50 and he seemed very happy. 
 

Dinner is a BBQ at brother #2 house. Brother #2 and his wife are both air traffic controllers, speak good English and have a newer modern 3 story house in a gated neighborhood by the current airport, which is about to close and relocate. They have replaced the roof of their home with a wonderful covered rooftop deck and kitchen, complete with running water and a bathroom. Their teenage boys get a workout hauling all the food and drinks up the stairs. Even Daddy, who can barely walk but refuses to be left out of anything, climbs to the top and we all have a nice time with the extended family and neighbors. The party breaks up around midnight (which they seem to feel is very early) because we have to get up early for an excursion tomorrow. 

 

 

[monsoon]

The next morning I’m picked up by Nat, Driver, Mommy and Daddy and we have breakfast again at Mommy’s noodle shop. Then we head out because today mommy is honoring her ancestors at the family pagoda, a couple of hours outside of Phnom Penh. We get to the village temple grounds, brothers #1@#2 with their families have already arrived and the family pagoda has been opened up and made ready by the village elders. Everyone kneels on mats while a couple of teenage monks lead chanting for about half an hour. Then the monks are given many gifts and much cash by each of the brothers and Nat. The villagers are each given a box lunch and a $20. I’m told it’s a way of supporting the villagers who can't work because they are too old or handicapped, and the village children. It had to have cost several thousand dollars. 

My idea is to finally make it out to some of the gay bars tonight, because the plan is to head to Siem Reap the next day. We decide to have a late lunch at brother #1 house and around 4pm I ask Nat to take me back to the hotel. Back at the hotel Nat tells me he’ll pick me up at 7pm and I ask why and he says we’re all going out to dinner. This is the first I’m hearing of this and tell Nat to make my apologies, as I have other plans. He gets a sad look on his face and says that I have to come, it’s his birthday and brother #1 has arranged for us to have a fancy dinner at a restaurant that a friend of his owns, and they are all counting on me being there. So much for bar hopping tonight. 

They pick me up and we go to a restaurant that seems to consist of only large private rooms. In our room there’s a huge round table with lazy susan, a private restroom and a Karaoke machine. They order tons of food and beer and we dig in. Fortunately no one seems interested in Karaoke tonight.

It’s a great meal and by the end I’m nicely lit. Brother #1 wants the guys to go out drinking more but I get them to take me back to the hotel, where I pass out.

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, monsoon said:

He came at 14:00 and I had a very happy 90 minutes with him. I gave him $50 and he seemed very happy. 
 

no wonder  as this is princely sum fort massage in Cambodia. I had guy asking me 100$ for overnight and it was followed by quite a litany of apologies why he is so greedy.

You must have fun seeing Cambodia  from inside of family life but indeed you were kidnapped and while pleasant  for sure,  your vacation seems like being overtaken by their agenda.  

Your hosts are obviously well off so what you see  is far removed from reality of still very poor country Cambodia is.  Hope you managed to release your leash and do some sightseeing  not to mention visit at least Space Hair or Toolbox bars. Watch your waistline with all that food they make you consume

[monsoon]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

no wonder  as this is princely sum fort massage in Cambodia. I had guy asking me 100$ for overnight and it was followed by quite a litany of apologies why he is so greedy.

You must have fun seeing Cambodia  from inside of family life but indeed you were kidnapped and while pleasant  for sure,  your vacation seems like being overtaken by their agenda.  

Your hosts are obviously well off so what you see  is far removed from reality of still very poor country Cambodia is.  Hope you managed to release your leash and do some sightseeing  not to mention visit at least Space Hair or Toolbox bars. Watch your waistline with all that food they make you consume

Yes, they are taking over but they are so excited about showing off their country that it’s hard to tell them no. I eventually just said I had a flight booked to Thailand so they had a hard date I would be departing. 
As far as their perspective goes because of their wealth, they are so grateful for what they have that it never got uncomfortable or weird. There was no “crazy rich asian” attitude going on with any of the family members I met. I asked Nat about his tipping, which seemed much higher and more frequent than I’d seen him do in California, and his reply was that Mommy and Daddy taught them that they should help everyone they can. But I agree that they certainly have way more than 90% of the people I saw. 

[monsoon]

I was picked up around 10 am for the trip to Siem Reap. It’s just Nat, me and his friend Tate driving up in (3 guesses) Tate’s Ford Ranger. In every conversation about Siem Reap with the family Nat has whispered about two places he’s taking me, and the first one comes up about two hours into the drive. I’m told we’re stopping at a rest area and we pull into a food court with a giant statue of a tarantula in front of it. Various vendors approach with their trays of large fried tarantulas. Nat has been stopping at this place since he was a kid and had no qualms about buying a bag of them and munching away. I passed, as did Tate. I did buy a nice bag of dried jackfruit, which was delicious. 

We get into Siem Reap around 5pm and head to older sister’s house, where we are staying. It’s another big,nice place, in much better condition than the one in Phnom Penh. Nat had told me that his sister had a transgender caretaker for her home and I met him and spent the entire 3 days there trying to figure out if the person is female to male or vice versa. I finally asked Nat after we left and he said female to male. He had a large pacific islander build and didn’t speak English so I couldn’t figure it out on my own. Just seemed like a big lesbian to me the entire time. He accompanied us with all the running around we did over the three days. 

First night we went out to dinner and drinks on pub street. It’s a weeknight and not very busy, but we have a good time. Not very busy will be a theme for the entire time in Siem Reap. The conflict with Thailand had started at this point but hadn’t reached the shooting stage yet, so I think it was just low season numbers. We wrap up the night early because I wanted to go to anker wat at sunrise.

 

Anker Wat at sunrise was worth the trouble, even on a cloudy morning. We hired one of the guides to go with us and it’s definitely worth the $17 dollars he wanted. He not only taught us all the history but also knew all the best photo stops and happily took pictures of us the entire time. We get done around noon and start driving around the area seeing other temples, but unbeknownst to me we are drifting toward the new airport. 

 

Also unbeknownst to me Nat was an air traffic controller for 8 years in Siem Reap before he moved to America, and had arranged for me to have a behind the scenes tour of the new airport, including the control tower where all his friends still work. The tower tour was really cool. They no longer look like a 70’s airport disaster movie, it’s just a big semicircle desk with large computer monitors. Fun fact, Cambodians don’t just remove their shoes when entering houses, they also remove them when entering offices and airport control towers. We then get a tour of the airport, but it gets cut short because apparently we’re pissing off the Chinese who run it. No one in Cambodia has anything nice to say about the Chinese. We head back to the house to get the place ready because Nat has invited all his former colleagues over for dinner and drinks tonight. I last until about 10pm, then go to bed with the party still going strong.

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, monsoon said:

As far as their perspective goes because of their wealth, they are so grateful for what they have that it never got uncomfortable or weird. 

don't get me wrong. Nothing sinister with  having money and good job. What I wanted to say is that world , including Phnom Penh looks differently when looked at from AC'ed car   then when taking a sweaty walk through downtown streets where sidewalks are basically parking spots and you walk on the street seeing and smelling how things are for those 90% you mentioned

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, monsoon said:

No one in Cambodia has anything nice to say about the Chinese. 

my impression as well

[Latbear4blk]

This is an amazing experience, @monsoon! I would drop without hesitation my sex trip plans to dive into this opportunity to explore the local culture! It reminds me of my trip to Bogota. I was ready to fuck every day with a different guy, but ended hocking up with a local who blocked all other dicks but deliver a unique cultural experience through his family and friends.

Enjoy it, not many travelers have access to such privilege! And thank you for your generous reporting! 

[Keithambrose]

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

my impression as well

I second that. I was told, 'we are owned by the Chinese '.

[monsoon]

Day 3 in Siem Reap has the four of us hitting a noodle shop for breakfast. Every shop in Cambodia seems to have a parking attendant, whether they have their own parking lot or not, lol. If you drive up to a place an attendant finds you somewhere to park. Then we hit a couple more temples and then ended up at an outdoor restaurant that surrounded a beautiful pond where each group is assigned a raised thatched roof hut with hammocks and a table in the middle and you just order food and drinks and you can just sit there all day if you want. We just ate and slept the afternoon away while it rained off and on. Really pleasant.

The plan at this point is to go back to Phnom Penh the next day, spend 3 days there and then go with brother #1 to see Sihanoukville and Kampot. I will have some city time while Nat spends some time with his daughter. So I’m surprised when Nat announces the next day that we’re going to head up to some mountain town where his stepbrother lives. I put my foot down on this change of plans, I was starting to have stomach issues and I was looking forward to some days to myself. I let Nat know that I'd just take the bus back to Phnom Penh, and he was free to go visit more people. He decides to go back to Phnom Penh. On the way back we stopped at a shed on the side of the road that is semi famous for their beef shank soup. And believe me, when they say shank they mean it. I felt like Fred Flintstone eating this thing. Unfortunately while delicious it didn’t help my brewing stomach problems. 

We get to PP and I find I’ve made my first hotel mistake for the trip. One of the nephews had suggested I try out Bassic Lane, which is a trendy group of small streets and alleys filled with bars and restaurants. It’s indeed a fun place to stay but the hotel I picked, the Times Hotel, was not. The only cleaning that seemed to be done to my room was a change of linen, but I was feeling really sick at this point so I decided to just make due. I last 2 of the four days I had paid for and decide to blow the last of my Accor points at the Novotel, and eat the loss. I learn to always check tripadvisor, don’t believe Agoda. The Novotel in BKK1 was heavenly. I spend my days visiting the pharmacy and sleeping, so still no gay nightlife for me.

[monsoon]

It’s Monday morning, I’m finally feeling better and Nat is supposed to pick me up for our trip to Sihanoukville. I don’t know much about the agenda yet, just that brother #1 has a friend who owns a hotel there that we’re staying at. 

He arrives two hours late, very much the worse for wear, being driven by sister’s driver. He had been visiting friends the night before and overdid it. 

The drive down is pleasant, nice modern toll road the entire way. Turns out that the friend’s hotel was actually a new resort a couple of miles outside the city, on the bay of lights. The resort consisted of new two bed A-frame cabins, with a/c and an open air bathroom. They were really cute. The resort was called Summer Bay, and is set up with a lot of family entertainment, both on land and in the water. I’m surprised on arrival to see Mommy and Daddy, along with brother #2 and family. I didn’t know the entire clan was coming. For dinner we all pile into cars and head into the actual city, which is just as ghastly as everyone says, and eat at a fancy oceanfront seafood restaurant that is owned by a different friend of brother #1. Brother #2 and his wife enjoy teaching me all the dishes and how to eat them. It’s decided that we’re not going to go to Kampot, as the road is under construction. We head back to the resort following the waterfront, and you can see glimpses of what the town must have looked like before the Chinese, it’s really sad.

We head back to PP the next morning, with a detour up a mountain to a resort where we have a long lunch and the kids can swim in the pool for a while. I get dropped off at my new hotel, Palace gate Hotel and residence, not to be confused with Palace gate Hotel and Resort. It’s a very nice colonial style hotel where I get a big room with kitchen overlooking a beautiful temple. The only downside is that those monks get up at 5am and start chanting, fortunately I still have the earplugs that Japan Airlines gave me. 

I have one full day and night in PP before I go to Thailand, and I am determined to get to Space Hair before I leave. Around 7pm I head over, knowing that it’s probably going to be empty on a weeknight that early, I am correct. That doesn’t really stop the fun though, as 2 hosts, SamUn and Pov, are on duty and sit down and chat. I try to get info about gay life in PP, but they don’t seem to have much to say about that. Soon a third host, Harry comes on duty and joins us. He is wearing a toga, which is apparently the uniform costume for tonight, and SamUn gets up to change into one also. We spend a pleasant three hours together chatting and drinking, with Harry sitting next to me being very affectionate the whole night. Around the time I get ready to leave another customer comes in and sits down and a fourth host comes on duty and introduces himself to me but as it’s clear I am on my way out he sits with the other customer. I have to agree with everyone who sings the praises of Space Hair, I look forward to coming back.

 

And so ends the Cambodia part of this trip. I have some random thoughts about it all that I will write about tomorrow. Here’s some pics from Space Hair that I've been given permission to share.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, monsoon said:

I felt like Fred Flintstone eating this thing. Unfortunately while delicious it didn’t help my brewing stomach problems. 

 

thanks for good laugh but I discovered  that first rule when stomach problems are developing is to eat  little  and as bland food as possible. I doubt that soup helped you to cure it. 

Glad to learn  you feel better and finally hit Space Hair , my favorite bar . On weekdays  being busier really starts as late as 11 pm,  but if one comeas earlier has all boys for himself and drinks are cheap.

It's Bassac Lane , not Bassic by the way.

Who is that handsome guy in dark blue shirt ?