I was talking to a expat last night in a bar in Jomtien 

Been here 2 years 

I told him of my excitement in meeting a guy in my room in several hours that was well known on Facebook 

He told me he no longer feels excited about meeting guys

Lucky to meet once a month with a guy he says maybe twice 

The excited look on him had vanished now he lives there 

"They all begin looking the same " he said ,it doesn't become exciting to meet up with moneyboys "

Day to day living gets in the way , he strangely said 

The poor guy just lost interest in meeting moneyboys for sex 

"Oh maybe sometimes I go to the sauna get it for free , but paying lost its novelty in just not as interested " he said 

Then it dawned on me what many say .....about living here in Pattaya ,too much of a good thing makes back a dull boy 

Could I move here to Pattaya ?

Probably not ready yet !

I still need excitement to look forward to every trip 

 

 

4 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

 

I still need excitement to look forward to every trip 

 

 

I always say  'one can't return without leaving first'

I have a certain sympathy for the view expressed in @Olddaddy's post. In my younger years when i was visiting Bangkok at least six times a year, I was like the lad who had discovered the cookie jar. Extending the metaphors I was in seventh heaven. So many bars! So many boys! So inexpensive!

Even when I moved here nearly quarter of a century ago, although still working for many more years I loved what Bangkok had to offer - even though the gay nightlife scene was starting to change, a result of Thaksin Senior elevating his ultra-religious pal as Minister for the Interior tinkering with laws and making life more difficult for venue owners. I still loved my nights out, many with friends, usually visiting bars after dinner and many times resulting for me in an off.

But then it all changed. Yes, I know the improvement in the Thai economy resulted in boys from many neighbouring countries replacing Thais in the bars. But age changed me. That and eventually finding a long-term partner, one who had nothing to do with the sex business. Indeed he had never even ventured as far as Soi 4 when we first met! When you have a loving partner, offing boys from bars drops virtually to the bottom of one's list of priorities. 

While many who live there love Pattaya - and I have visited a few times, I have never really liked the place and could never consider retirement there. But horses for courses. It has its charms. It has some excellent restaurants and lots of boys. But despite the attractions, if I always had to resort to paying for money boys for my sexual pleasure, like @Olddaddy's expat friend, I am sure I would end up pretty bored.

From my first visit to Pattaya in 1998, then with a group of friends, I had regular holiday trips every year. Then in 2011 I took early retirement and certainly could not afford to continue living in London, so I sold up and moved to live in Pattaya. I have never regretted it, and still enjoy living here. I hardly ever visit the bars now, but I feel comfortable with my quiet life here, live alone with quite a few friends around. 

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

But despite the attractions, if I always had to resort to paying for money boys for my sexual pleasure, like @Olddaddy's expat friend, I am sure I would end up pretty bored.

Yes and that's the difference in retirement in Pattaya or Bangkok 

You can probably meet more  free guys in Bangkok travelling through than Pattaya 

I think one of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to retirement is their failure to plan beyond the financial aspect.  The financial piece is certainly important, but it seems to me it is equally important to create a strong sense of purpose in retirement.  Aside from the nights out in go-go bars and paying for money boys, people need to find meaningful activities, either through volunteering or perhaps part-time work that aligns with our passions.  We need to remain active, both physically and mentally.  Learn a new skill, like playing a musical instrument, or take some type of classes.  It is also important to actively seek opportunities to nurture existing relationship and build new ones.  Don't isolate yourself...join a club, start a club, volunteer...but participate in some sort of group activity on a regular basis.  While it is nice to have a flexible schedule now that we are retired, it is that lack of structure that leads to boredom and depression.  It is still important to maintain some semblance of order and purpose in life.  I don't think the location of retirement is what creates the boredom.  I think it is us lacking the motivation.  

 

 

Coincidentally, i was watching some Pattaya videos on YouTube on Sunday,  and my goodness, some of the newest ones were depressing. Expats complaining about over-pricing and the unwarranted strength of the  baht, suggesting that the locals aren't so friendly now, that their favoured bars were closing after  being targeted by the police....and much else. In general,  "things ain't what they used to be", as the song has it. 

I asked P for his views; he's far away from Pattaya but still has friends there. What's the view of the locals? Nothing has changed, he said. Yes, there are police raids on particular bars that have often caused concern, yes tourism has been disappointing all year and this "Very-Low-Indeed- Season" is crippling some businesses, but his contacts don't share the concerns expressed on YouTube.

Jimmie50  makes some perceptive points. I've now postponed  and probably cancelled my relocation after due consideration. I never been the sort of person who makes friends easily and it would isolate me  from those I have here in the UK.  Nor am I sure that my relationship with P would benefit  since I am insistent that he should not give up his farm in the north. 

What those YouTube videos illustrated, whether or not they be representative or accurate, is that life for expats of my generation in Thailand  has changed. And , as we have discussed before, Pattaya itself is changing from a sex-tourist paradise into an international resort that wishes to attract  Asians, particularly the well-off ones.  I am reminded of this when we eat in T21 and look out for north Pattaya from its top floor. The huge new developments and luxury hotels have sprung-up on the locations of the go-go bars along the beach that I remember so well from my unforgettable first view of Pattaya in 1995.

7 hours ago, Londoner said:

 

I asked P for his views; he's far away from Pattaya but still has friends there. What's the view of the locals? Nothing has changed, he said. Yes, there are police raids on particular bars that have often caused concern, yes tourism has been disappointing all year and this "Very-Low-Indeed- Season" is crippling some businesses, but his contacts don't share the concerns expressed on YouTube.

 

and I would trust his feed more than those of serial complainers. 

No doubt Pattaya has changed  but so did Buenos Aires, Nairobi, Moscow and Suva as well.  ( If one doesn't  know Suva , ask Oldddaddy)

4 hours ago, vinapu said:

and I would trust his feed more than those of serial complainers. 

No doubt Pattaya has changed  but so did Buenos Aires, Nairobi, Moscow and Suva as well.  ( If one doesn't  know Suva , ask Oldddaddy)

Olddaddy can always look Suva up.

On 9/22/2025 at 3:13 AM, Olddaddy said:

"They all begin looking the same " he said ,it doesn't become exciting to meet up with moneyboys "

100% what @jimmie50 said. Another thing to consider is your location. Thailand is the perfect hub from which to explore SE Asia. Tickets to most big cities in the area are cheap and there is so much to discover.

I'm not interested in Germany, Belgium, Italy and you can go up and down the list of the countries here. Vietnam, Philippines, China, Japan etc. is a very different story. I'm coming back to Thailand soon and will be staying for at least a couple of years. I might not leave the first months, but soon enough I will be looking for adventure in aforementioned countries. I'm also a planning a long stay in Medellin in 2026.

So next to finding some meaningful daily local activities, don't forget the surrounding countries, and that there are also adventures to be had by just driving up north or south in Thailand. 

Having had some more time to reflect on the topic ‘Don’t retire in Pattaya’, when it comes time for us to retire we give very little thought beyond the financial considerations.  Working full time, we are accustomed to interacting with dozens of people each work day.  Loneliness and boredom are never an issue.  Then, all of a sudden, retirement hits and we are confronted with so many hours of gaping silence.  There are countless studies that have been done that show how loneliness can slowly but effectively eat away at your physical and emotional health.  Finding some way of creating meaningful relationships and a continuing purpose in our lives is not easy.  It isn’t as simple as going to one party, attending one concert or festival…we establish connections through routine exposure.  I think this is the reason why some people make the decision to move to a retirement community…daily exposure to like-minded people in the same stage of life as you.  These communities also provide countless opportunities for connecting so you don’t become bored and isolated.  On the flip side, that is also a good reason why so many older people decide not to move once they retire.  After spending so much time in one place, they are surrounded by long time friends and family.

I have been retired for 30 years and have spent the last 20 years in Pattaya and would not consider living elsewhere other than an assisted living in Chiang  Mai if no other recourse. My hobby is going to host bars every night for 2 glasses of wine. 555

 

8 hours ago, iendo said:

Vietnam, Philippines, China, Japan etc. is a very different story. I'm coming back to Thailand soon and will be staying for at least a couple of years. I might not leave the first months, but soon enough I will be looking for adventure in aforementioned countries.

Great plan! As you say there is so much to see and experience in Asia, in terms of different cultures, natural wonders, fabulous food and, of course, nightime entertainment. As many readers know, having been based in Asia for 46 years I have travelled a great deal within the continent and have had some fantastc experiences - day and night!

At the risk of boring some, here are some photos of places you might wish to put of your list of places to go, many of which are not generally discussed as major sites. Some, though, like the two Thai Festivals and the Harbin Ice & Snow Sculpture Festival are specific to a time of year and ideally need to be booked a minimum of 3 or 4 months in advance for accommodation near the attractions.

And then of course there is the mega-Taipei Gay Pride Parade on the last Saturday of October each year. There are lots of photos spread around this Board. Just check the Search box.

1. Within Thailand

Ubon Candle Festival

Dansai Ghost Festival

2. Other Countries

Vietnam Hanoi

Vietnam Hue

China Harbin Ice & Snow Sculpture Festival

China Yunnan Province Lijiang

China Yunnan Province Shangri-La (allegedly the most beautiful Tibetan monastery outside Tibet)

China Suzhou

China Chengdu Panda Reserve and Jiuzhaigou National Park

Japan Spring Sakura Blossoms

Japan Nikko (day trip north east of Tokyo - memorial to the Shogun Ieyasu, the first of the Edo period, and his grandson)

Bhutan

 

Taipei

Great photos. Thanks.

10 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Having had some more time to reflect on the topic ‘Don’t retire in Pattaya’, when it comes time for us to retire we give very little thought beyond the financial considerations.  Working full time, we are accustomed to interacting with dozens of people each work day.  Loneliness and boredom are never an issue.  Then, all of a sudden, retirement hits and we are confronted with so many hours of gaping silence.  There are countless studies that have been done that show how loneliness can slowly but effectively eat away at your physical and emotional health.  Finding some way of creating meaningful relationships and a continuing purpose in our lives is not easy.  It isn’t as simple as going to one party, attending one concert or festival…we establish connections through routine exposure.  I think this is the reason why some people make the decision to move to a retirement community…daily exposure to like-minded people in the same stage of life as you.  These communities also provide countless opportunities for connecting so you don’t become bored and isolated.  On the flip side, that is also a good reason why so many older people decide not to move once they retire.  After spending so much time in one place, they are surrounded by long time friends and family.

It’s not actually that hard to find like-minded people in Pattaya. It does take some effort, though. Too often people close themselves off and then blame the city for their isolation. Age is not the issue. Whether you are 50, 60 or 70, you are never too old to make new friends.

This year we lost a dear friend, Rob from Amsterdam, who had Parkinson’s and was in his early eighties. We met 12 years ago in Nice Boys, and over the years we shared some wonderful adventures in Thailand, Amsterdam and Vietnam. He is proof that real friendships can be built at any stage of life if you are open to them.

Of course, adjusting to a new environment is not always easy. I sometimes miss things from back home as well, but that is what holidays are for. What matters most is being willing to adapt and to reach out. If you never take the first step to meet people, even something as simple as connecting with others on this forum, then yes, things will feel lonely and hard.

At the end of the day, the problem is not Pattaya. The real question is whether you are open enough to make the effort.

What fantastic photos, and what an amazing life you have experienced!  Thanks for sharing!   

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

What fantastic photos, and what an amazing life you have experienced!  Thanks for sharing!   

Thank you. I have been wonderfully lucky, first to move to Asia at a time when for most travellers it was just a stopover en route to Australia. Then to work for companies which required not only some travel but a lot of it! I could post another 5,000+ photos only from parts of Asia (e.g.many more in the countries covered above plus those omitted like Nepal), and these are only the ones after I got a digital camera in 2001. Sadly my photos of ten visits to Bali, the Taj Mahal and many others taken earlier have all faded. Probably a result of bad storage. 

I posted only to show @iendo what variety there is within the continent and most available relatively inexpensively with some advance planning. So make some plans and then go and have a blast!

44 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

I posted only to show @iendo what variety there is within the continent and most available relatively inexpensively with some advance planning. So make some plans and then go and have a blast!

Yes, it is very impressive. Those picture remind that I have been everywhere but that I have seen very little. 

52 minutes ago, iendo said:

 I have been everywhere but that I have seen very little. 

Take a heart, I heard the same sentence from a lot of very seasoned travellers as more you travel , more you realize you are  just licking surface , no matter how hard you try.

8 hours ago, iendo said:

Those picture remind that I have been everywhere but that I have seen very little. 

I fully understand that sentiment. When I started out on my serious travelling, it was for the most part to see and experience all the places I'd be fortuate to visit. Many now remain in the memory without having to look at all the photos.

On 9/24/2025 at 2:15 PM, vinapu said:

more you realize you are  just licking surface , no matter how hard you try.

🤐

On 9/23/2025 at 3:54 PM, Londoner said:

Pattaya itself is changing from a sex-tourist paradise into an international resort that wishes to attract  Asians, particularly the well-off ones.  I am reminded of this when we eat in T21 and look out for north Pattaya from its top floor. The huge new developments and luxury hotels have sprung-up on the locations of the go-go bars along the beach that I remember so well from my unforgettable first view of Pattaya in 1995.

"Sex tourist paradise." Is that what is called an oxymoron? 😅

Is it true that Pattaya wishes to attract well-off Asians? Or would she like to see quality tourists in general, both local and foreign? As a corollary, has she been successful?

1995 to 2025 is 30 years, a very long, cruisy time for anyone who wishes to adapt to the changes. What popular tourist city hasn't changed in that period of time? Is the UK the same as it was thirty years ago, besides the dysfunctional royal family? Even the university I went to is no longer among the top two, if recent rankings are to be believed. 😪

Whenever I see posts lamenting the loss of an era or the good ol' days, which crop up often enough, my curiosity is not so much focussed on the disappearance of a period of time or space (which admittedly makes for interesting reading at times) but veers towards the writer's own self-development amidst the changes.

 

 

7 hours ago, mauRICE said:

What popular tourist city hasn't changed in that period of time? Is the UK the same as it was thirty years ago

Very good point.  SF Bay Area in California is nothing like it was when I first moved there 35 years ago.  Some would argue it has changed for the better; others will complain about how horrible it has become.  All depends on your frame of reference I guess.  

8 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Whenever I see posts lamenting the loss of an era or the good ol' days, which crop up often enough, my curiosity is not so much focussed on the disappearance of a period of time or space (which admittedly makes for interesting reading at times) but veers towards the writer's own self-development amidst the changes.

I agree with most of your post, although I certainly don't believe the disappearance of the "good ol' days" is a subject necessarily for lamentation. For those like me who enjoyed so many years in Bangkok - indeed revelled in them - (never really liked Pattaya as regular readers will be aware) they are a source of much continued enjoyment of wonderful and often amazing memories. 

As @mauRICE rightly says, though, time never stands still and what we once loved is almost bound to change over time. I used to love living and working in London as soon as I left university. Absolutely adored the city and took advantage of what it offered in terms of entertainment, opera, concerts and wonderful theatre as much as my meagre salary could afford, always in the cheapest seats. Coming from a small city, it all opened my eyes. Returning almost every year over more than four decades, most recently in March, not only have I witnessed the city changing greatly (some for the worse!) my own life experience has changed massively and I generally would not wish to return to any of the past, including those heady days in London or even Bangkok. I sometimes wish those today could have experienced the Bangkok days of old but . . . Although I have not been a visitocr to most of the sex scene in Bangkok for some years, I fully recognize and acept that is definitely a result of my personal development. It is always unrealistic not to allow for change.   

On 9/25/2025 at 12:27 AM, PeterRS said:

Sadly my photos of ten visits to Bali, the Taj Mahal and many others taken earlier have all faded. Probably a result of bad storage. 

There are AI apps which, apparently, can bring your old photos back to life.

You take a photo of them on your phone and the app does the rest. 

I don't think they are free but the results I've seen online are incredible, if true.