Love Interest - Thailand 2026

[jimmie50]

What I thought was going to be a difficult conversation to have with Cam turned out to be quite easy using forum members as a jumping off point.  With so many traveling forum members in Bangkok at the same time, Cam was able to meet a few of the members when getting together for our evening meetings.  That allowed us to have some very serious conversations about a host of things…family, goals, dreams, relationships.  He was curious about how we knew each other.  I explained a little about the forum without going into too much detail, but said we had a shared love of travel, especially Asia in general, but specifically Thailand, and an appreciation for Asian men.  Especially grateful to @jason1975, because I was able to use his boyfriend relationship as the starting point in our conversation.  

Not to drag this on forever, and also wishing to keep some of our conversations private, let me just say we are going to work on a boyfriend situation.  I have no exact date for my return to Thailand.  As of now, I am looking at November, December and January as a three month trial.  Even though it is seven months away, which will be a bit of a struggle for me, I think we both need time away to be sure it is what we really want.  I also need to recoup physically and plan for such a lengthy stay financially.  Because my family will be doing other things this year over the holidays in November/December, it is a good time to get out of Denver...in addition to the winter weather.  I need time to explore airfares and research Airbnb options.  The free condo will not be available, and I don’t believe I will even share with my friends that I am planning a return trip.  Otherwise, they will try to organize activities and I want this trip to only be about me and Cam.  If anyone has any recommendations regarding Airbnb/3-month rental, please let me know…preferably in Silom/Sathorn/Bang Rak area.

I will share that Cam originally came to Thailand legally for work.  He was in construction.  Pay wasn’t the greatest, and he said foreign construction workers are not treated very well.  He also was a waiter in a restaurant.  He has gone back and forth a number of times without any problems and was always able to renew his visa.  That all changed with the border conflict so he is limited in what work he can do now with no visa and also unable to return home because it would risk his ability to return to Bangkok for work in the future.  Kind of a catch 22 at this point.  The objective for him and his other four siblings is to save money to build his parents a new home.  They have lived in their current home their entire lives. They are rice and sesame seed farmers.  The house is infested with termites and becoming very precarious.  He has managed to save and send home 50% of what is needed to build the new house, so he stays in Bangkok and does this work since he is the youngest, single with no children.  His other siblings are all married and have children.  Once they have enough money for the new house, he plans to return home.  That has been part of our discussions, because I certainly would not want to be living in Bangkok if he has returned to Cambodia (near Siem Reap).

Anyway, we did quite well together for seven days and both of us are interested in making this work.  Three months will put things to a real test, bring new or unexpected challenges, and either make us or break us.  We shall see what the future holds.  We would live together in the Airbnb over the three months.  He wasn’t really looking for a relationship, nor was he hoping for a sponsor.  Knowing myself, once I return to Bangkok in the fall I will probably take on most of the responsibility for our living expenses to allow most of his money to be sent home.

I am sure there are obstacles we will face that neither of us has thought of or talked about.  Appreciate hearing any words of wisdom or advice from forum members.

[mauRICE]

I can't say I didn't expect this. I'm not one to offer relationship advice as in my experience people would do what they want anyway and some lessons, whether good or bad, need to be learned by the parties themselves. So I will just wish you good luck and a safe trip home. 

Just a note of caution. If the world and Thai economies get any worse, the Thai authorities (and the Thai people) will become even more protective and inward looking, and they will step up on the crackdown and deportation of illegal economic migrants. I hear Jomtien Complex is already seeing the effects of this. Thus you may have to make some adjustments to your plans athough there should be nothing to stop you from seeing Cam in Cambodia.

Out of curiosity is Cam gay or straight? I ask because in my long experience with rural Southeast Asia as a gentleman farmer myself, when straight guys want to build or re-build their homes in the village, it's because they wish to settle down, assuming that they aren't already married or attached on some level.

 

[Travelingguy]

On a purely selfish level, I’m disappointed.  I have enjoyed your reports of your various adventures in Thailand.  If you settle down, I suspect those may be curtailed.  😢

Wishing you well nonetheless.  

[hank75]

19 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Out of curiosity is Cam gay or straight?

This is an important detail.

I know an ex boy in a boyfriend situation with an older farang who supports him. It is a very stable relationship, both are happy, the boy is loyal and looks after his sponsor well. The catch is, he is straight and also lives with his wife and infant children when his sponsor is out of Thailand. I do not think I could undertake a relationship (paid or emotional) under those circumstances. 

I will DM you on longer term accommodation around Silom. 

[PeterRS]

On 4/1/2026 at 8:40 PM, jimmie50 said:

Not to drag this on forever, and also wishing to keep some of our conversations private, let me just say we are going to work on a boyfriend situation. 

Excellent news. I know you are aware of the pitfalls but lock them in the back of your mind. Concentrate on the positives and the future potential. I have just a sneaking feeling you might be back before November!! I wish you the very best of luck and happiness.

[mauRICE]

On 4/2/2026 at 6:08 PM, hank75 said:

This is an important detail.

I know an ex boy in a boyfriend situation with an older farang who supports him. It is a very stable relationship, both are happy, the boy is loyal and looks after his sponsor well. The catch is, he is straight and also lives with his wife and infant children when his sponsor is out of Thailand. I do not think I could undertake a relationship (paid or emotional) under those circumstances...

Does the farang know about his boyfriend's family? In my experience most of them do and the older they are, the more forgiving or at least tolerant they are of these unique arrangements. I mean what's the alternative for them?

And to be fair it's not only the straight Thai men who have local partners on the side; the gay guys do too. This is why regardless of sexual orientation, the local guys LOVE long distance relationships where the farang only visits a few times a year and just sends money every month. That way it's easier for them to juggle multiple sugar daddies AND have a Thai boyfriend or girlfriend on the side. 

I just brought up straight guys because more often than not, they are the ones who build or buy homes back in the village when they are going to get married. But of course, women and gay guys build houses back home too. It's a symbol to show the parents and neighbours that they have made it in the city. One fine example is Puy the Roti Lady, who I mentioned in the banana roti post. She's done very well for herself through her hard work and her house in Isaan is now ready.

[hank75]

1 hour ago, mauRICE said:

Does the farang know about his boyfriend's family?

I am unsure. I believe he doesn’t know full details or chooses to turn a blind eye, but surely he suspects. This arrangement seems to work for both. The boyfriend is grateful for financial support. The farang (who is getting on in years as you have correctly guessed) has a strapping muscular guy who by all accounts takes very good care of him and lives with him when he visits. Zero judgement from me. It just wouldn’t work for me. I did wonder why he didn’t find a strapping gay guy who could provide a more authentic boyfriend experience but only the involved parties will know the true situation. 

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, PeterRS said:

 I have just a sneaking feeling you might be back before November!!

you are not alone

[vinapu]

14 minutes ago, hank75 said:

I did wonder why he didn’t find a strapping gay guy who could provide a more authentic boyfriend experience but only the involved parties will know the true situation. 

perhpas it's not what he is looking for. All he is happy with is warm body  ( or person or both ) he likes  available to him when he is in Thailand without resorting to boy hunting every time. Or just great sex and cooked meal three times  a day

I'm privy to such situation is straight community They don't even talk much when they are apart, at least it's what guy in question told me . He comes , she moves in, he goes , she returns to, yes, home,  building of he financed

[jimmie50]

On 4/1/2026 at 7:17 AM, mauRICE said:

Out of curiosity is Cam gay or straight? I ask because in my long experience with rural Southeast Asia as a gentleman farmer myself, when straight guys want to build or re-build their homes in the village, it's because they wish to settle down, assuming that they aren't already married or attached on some level.

Good question, and it was something we did talk about.  I don't know that I have a definitive answer.  He has never had a girlfriend per se, but has been with girls for sex and enjoys that.  He enjoys sex with men, too, and isn't inhibited or limited to just certain things.  I would say he was bisexual.  He has actually had a previous 'boyfriend' experience for a brief period of time with someone who was a customer at Hotmale.  This was when his status was still legal and he was able to travel.  They took a couple of trips together (Phuket and Pattaya) as well as spent time together in Bangkok.  The customer was from another Asian country.  This was a couple of years ago and once the Asian guy returned to his home country he basically ghosted Cam.  Cam has not seen or heard from him since that time...at least this is what he has told me.  

Cam was honest about his future plans.  He wants to make enough money to build the new house for his parents, then return to Cambodia and continue working on the family farm.  In addition to growing rice and sesame seeds, he wants to raise goats and tortoises.  I guess there is a lucrative market for both in Cambodia.  We did discuss how his family might react if he returns home with this old, white farang.  I think we would probably live elsewhere together, but nearby...not with the family.  lol.  During the conversations he has never expressed a desire to get married or have children.  I specifically asked if he felt pressure from his family to do so and he said 'no'.  His four siblings are all married and his parents have 14 grandchildren.  That doesn't meant it won't change in the future, but for now it doesn't seem to be an issue.  

Having said all of that, I realize these are things he has told me and may not be 100% truthful or accurate.  They could be things he is saying because he thinks that is what I want to hear.  For all I know, he could actually be married and have three children!   Just have to be able to filter through some of the things they say and sometimes it simply comes down to blind faith.  Don't really know truth from fiction.  

[jimmie50]

11 hours ago, PeterRS said:

I have just a sneaking feeling you might be back before November!!

I have arrived back in Denver.  I can honestly say leaving Bangkok this time was extremely difficult.  My heart is still there.  Not only am I trying to adjust to travel and time differences, but leaving Cam was more challenging than I expected.  As I get back into my old routines with family and friends, this emotional roller coaster will calm down...hopefully.  Before making any concrete plans for a return trip, I want to reflect on the last two months and sort through things carefully in my mind and my heart.  They always say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  We shall see what the next few months bring.  

Flights from Bangkok to Denver were uneventful.  Suvarnabhumi did not seem nearly as busy to me on departure as on previous trips.  No lines at check-in, security or immigration.  I was glad in Singapore that I had a 4 hour layover.  Arrival was at the last F-gate in Terminal 2 and departure gate was at last B-gate in Terminal 3.  I would not have made a short connection...that place is huge.  Arrival in SFO was also strange.  No other international arrivals at the time so no lines at immigration.  Never seen that before in all of my travels at SFO.  There is always a back up there.  Slight delay for departure to Denver due to runway construction at SFO, but otherwise a good return trip, although very long and very travel weary.  

[jimmie50]

On 4/1/2026 at 7:17 AM, mauRICE said:

I'm not one to offer relationship advice as in my experience people would do what they want anyway and some lessons, whether good or bad, need to be learned by the parties themselves.

I would welcome any relationship advice.  I am far from an expert in this field.  lol.  I need all of the help I can get!!!

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

 

Having said all of that, I realize these are things he has told me and may not be 100% truthful or accurate.  They could be things he is saying because he thinks that is what I want to hear.  For all I know, he could actually be married and have three children!   Just have to be able to filter through some of the things they say and sometimes it simply comes down to blind faith.  

It looks that  you retain sober thoughts 

[floridarob]

8 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I would welcome any relationship advice.  I am far from an expert in this field.  lol.  I need all of the help I can get!!!

Enjoy it, the regrets we have at the end of life usually isn't of the things we did, it's what we didn't do..... but don't sell your house so he can build his..... even real relationships fail.

3 yrs living together full time is the bar to get over in both gay/straight world.

So take it 1 day at a time and don't let the heart (or dick) get in the way of the brain, seems like you're already thinking in a good direction 😉

[vinapu]

39 minutes ago, floridarob said:

 the regrets we have at the end of life ,,,,,,

I defer to your, presumably , vast experience

[PeterRS]

1 hour ago, floridarob said:

Enjoy it, the regrets we have at the end of life usually isn't of the things we did, it's what we didn't do

So true. And when we near the end of life, we often do not have the cash or the energy to complete the bucket list. So don't put experiences off. Enjoy life while we have it.

[jimmie50]

On 4/1/2026 at 1:16 PM, Travelingguy said:

If you settle down, I suspect those may be curtailed.

The escapades were definitely reduced towards the end as I was wanting to spend as much time as possible with Cam.  Still had a number of shops that I wanted to visit but never got around to it.  Not sure that will happen on a future visit, either.  Too new and too early to think about what extra-curricular activities might look like when I return.  Something still to be discussed and negotiated between us.  Previous relationship was monogamous.  Not sure that will work in this situation given that Cam works at Hotmale.  Foreign territory to me in such a relationship.  Cannot say I am thrilled about him possibly going off with other men, but realize at the same time it is his job.  Seriously thinking about paying the off fee for the 3-month visit so he keeps his number and job, but isn't working during the time we are together.  Something I need to discuss with him, but also with the bar.  Not sure how open the bars are to such an arrangement.  

[jimmie50]

Had a brief video chat on Line this morning my time, evening his time as he was preparing to go to work.  Not sure if the video chats are going to be a good thing or bad thing.  lol.  Seeing him up close and personal like that just makes me want to turn around and catch the next flight back to Bangkok.  Getting myself into serious trouble here.  

[hank75]

55 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

Seriously thinking about paying the off fee for the 3-month visit so he keeps his number and job, but isn't working during the time we are together.

My view is that it’s best to agree a fixed amount with Cam on a monthly or weekly basis, and let him sort things out with the bar to take a leave of absence. Boys often leave work for several months when they’ve found a long term customer or sponsor. Many just claim a family emergency and say “going home” then rejoin the bar again some months later. Discuss it with Cam. I’m sure he’d prefer you to spend that money on him  than the bar. 

[mauRICE]

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

Seriously thinking about paying the off fee for the 3-month visit so he keeps his number and job, but isn't working during the time we are together. Something I need to discuss with him, but also with the bar.  Not sure how open the bars are to such an arrangement.  

Not sure I understand this. If you'd like him to stop work for three months, then ask him to apply for a long leave from the bar with proper notice. Bar staff go on long leave all the time to go home, get married, celebrate the birth of a child, attend to sick parents, sort out affairs at home, etc. It won't be an unusual request.

 

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

Had a brief video chat on Line this morning my time, evening his time as he was preparing to go to work.  Not sure if the video chats are going to be a good thing or bad thing.  lol.  Seeing him up close and personal like that just makes me want to turn around and catch the next flight back to Bangkok.  Getting myself into serious trouble here.  

You're still fresh from the trip and missing him. Is this your first Thai crush? I had a crush too from my very first "gay Thailand" trip more than twenty years ago and thought I had met the love of my life. He was from Khon Kaen, gay, very handsome and looked Japanese. Mobile phones were still fairly new in those days and we would text each other frequently in the beginning. No video calls then. As time went by, the text messages on both sides dwindled as we became preoccupied with our respective lives. I guess we also ran out of things to talk about and due to the distance between us, no sex to compensate for the vast differences in interests, education and social background. I was also set on building my career, having left university only a couple of years earlier. 

Your situation is different in that you're retired and presumably have a lot of free time and money in your hands. Moreover going back to dreary Denver and it's disagreeable weather (is it still cold now or are you in spring?) and a culture far less stimulating than the fleshpots of Bangkok (reverse culture shock?) would probably compound your feelings of missing him. It all adds up. So where do we go from here? Well, I'm not one to tell people how to live their lives but keeping busy is one way to keep your mind off him and your fantastic holiday in Bangkok. Reframing your thoughts and realising that your seven-week sex adventure in Bangkok is just that and not the norm might help to put things in perspective. It may not seem like it now but you will feel better with time.

[vinapu]

11 hours ago, PeterRS said:

 So don't put experiences off. Enjoy life while we have it.....

.... and travel to Thailand often before trip to the bathroom or a balcony will become an adventure

[emiel1981]

45 minutes ago, hank75 said:

 

Sorry. Quoted the wrong post. 

[emiel1981]

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

Had a brief video chat on Line this morning my time, evening his time as he was preparing to go to work.  Not sure if the video chats are going to be a good thing or bad thing.  lol.  Seeing him up close and personal like that just makes me want to turn around and catch the next flight back to Bangkok.  Getting myself into serious trouble here.  

Checking airfares for the coming weeks already? Lol

[jimmie50]

On 4/3/2026 at 2:52 AM, mauRICE said:

Does the farang know about his boyfriend's family? In my experience most of them do and the older they are, the more forgiving or at least tolerant they are of these unique arrangements.

To be honest, I think I could be tolerant and more accepting of this than I am of Cam going off with other men from the bar.  That is the real hang up for me in this situation.  Trying to work through that and will need to either make peace within myself about his job, or be willing to help build the new house for parents and we both go to Cambodia. As you can tell, my thoughts are all over the place at the moment.  

[jason1975]

4 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

To be honest, I think I could be tolerant and more accepting of this than I am of Cam going off with other men from the bar.  That is the real hang up for me in this situation.  Trying to work through that and will need to either make peace within myself about his job, or be willing to help build the new house for parents and we both go to Cambodia. As you can tell, my thoughts are all over the place at the moment.  

Why do you feel so affected by Cam meeting other men? It is what he does for a living.