Love Interest - Thailand 2026

[spoon]

If the concern is more on appearance in silom, why not just stay elsewhere and never visit silom? Or skip bangkok altogether

[jimmie50]

17 minutes ago, spoon said:

If the concern is more on appearance in silom, why not just stay elsewhere and never visit silom? Or skip bangkok altogether

Good point, and I did mention to him we could stay in a different part of Bangkok...didn't have to be Silom.  I know he loves the beach, so possibly Pattaya, but he is a little concerned about traveling around Thailand given his status.  I think there is safety in familiarity.  

[zoomomancs]

31 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

I have a general question about this situation that I need some assistance with.  First of all, Cam has not asked or even hinted at me sending him any money.  However, I would like to be able to occasionally do that for him over the next several months, and also in the event of any emergency situation that might come up.  He obviously does not have a Thai bank account.  He has no official Thai photo ID.  I cannot send him money via Western Union that he could pick up at the local office since his only form of identification is an old ID from Cambodia.  He does have a bank account in Cambodia.  I did a test run to see if I could send money to his bank account via Western Union, but that option does not seem to exist.  Western Union only offers cash pick up at a local office in Cambodia, or mobile app called Wing.  Does any forum member know how to send money to a Cambodian bank account?   I do have his bank information, including SWIFT Code, Account number, Bank address...so if nothing else I can do an international wire transfer from my bank to his bank.  But there must be another way or easier solution.  Any suggestions?  

I've not used it but the internet seems to think that Wise funded by a bank transfer is best. My experience, over 15 years and some 56 visits to Thailand, is that the families start nagging the man we like for the foreigner to send money for 'urgent' reasons. That is very hard for the man we like to resist. 

[hank75]

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Instead of off fee for 90 days, we would only need to pay for 78 days

Please excuse me if this sounds blunt. In all honesty, this is excessive. I have never heard of paying an off fee for months on end. When I make arrangements to meet boys outside the bar, whether for several days or lengthy durations I have never paid off fee to the bar nor worried about it. I pay the boy, the boy settles the bar in his own way. It is very common for boys to take long leaves of absence or just blissfully vanish then reappear. They are never barred from returning to work. Bars need boys, especially popular boys, to stay in business. Don’t make the mistake of trying to do his job for him. Your job is to pay Cam the agreed stipend. Let him talk to his friends who may have been in similar situations and find the solution. Being able to keep more money for his farm and family will be a great motivator. What is the longest time he has been booked out from the bar before, and how did he handle it?  

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

then he is seen around Silom with me that it will create problems for him at the end of the three months.

Yes, I’ve taken boys on trips and they did not post pictures on their social media as that would conflict with their “buffalo sick and half dead also my grandmother” stories. The acceptable compromise is for Cam to work out his solution with the bar, and for both of you to occasionally drop by and support the bar by having drinks and tipping mamasan. Appropriate to also pay Cam’s off fee on these occasions. Everyone will be happy. 

[hank75]

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

.  He obviously does not have a Thai bank account.

Have you clarified with him where his passport is at? It is only recently after Thai-Cambodian skirmishes that the status for Cambodian guys has become awkward. Prior to that all boys were able to enter Thailand legally with a 30 or 60 day visa in their passport and with this visa they were able to collect Western Union. Many Cambodians boys (at least all that I know) have Thai bank accounts though it was easier for those who started working some years ago, maybe not new arrivals.

I have sent money twice to “middlemen”. One to a Cambodian with a Thai bank account who then sent the money on to the boy’s mother in Cambodia. The second time to one who picked up cash in Cambodia. Both times the money arrived safely. I assume there was a small fee. Cam can ask around to locate such middlemen if he doesn’t know one already. Otherwise you can send money to a bar friend of Cam’s which is common. Don’t send large amounts as Cam will have to offer a tip for the help. 

[daydreamer]

3 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Does any forum member know how to send money to a Cambodian bank account?   I do have his bank information, including SWIFT Code, Account number, Bank address...so if nothing else I can do an international wire transfer from my bank to his bank.  But there must be another way or easier solution.  Any suggestions?  

Remitly.com and Wise do transfers to Cambodian banks, and Remitly also allows cash pick up in Cambodia, with no bank account needed.  A Remitly or Wise international transfer is much cheaper than a bank wire transfer.

Remitly also does transfers for pick up from Thai banks, without the recipient needing a bank account, however that requires a government ID card to receive the cash, so would not work for Cam.

Another option would be a Visa reloadable prepaid card, that can be used to withdraw cash from bank ATMs in Thailand (no ID card required).  You could send him a prepaid Visa card with zero balance (or a minimal $5 balance).  Once he receives the Visa card and the PIN number, you could then fund the card, and reload it with funds as you wish.  

You would need to ensure Cam would be aware of the ATM fees, so that he would withdraw a large amount in one tranche, instead of small 200 or 500 baht withdrawals, which would result in the balance being eaten up by ATM fees.

https://www.visa.com/en-us/personal/cards/prepaid/reloadable#

[cfnmhertsuk]

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I have a general question about this situation that I need some assistance with.  First of all, Cam has not asked or even hinted at me sending him any money.  However, I would like to be able to occasionally do that for him over the next several months, and also in the event of any emergency situation that might come up.  He obviously does not have a Thai bank account.  He has no official Thai photo ID.  I cannot send him money via Western Union that he could pick up at the local office since his only form of identification is an old ID from Cambodia.  He does have a bank account in Cambodia.  I did a test run to see if I could send money to his bank account via Western Union, but that option does not seem to exist.  Western Union only offers cash pick up at a local office in Cambodia, or mobile app called Wing.  Does any forum member know how to send money to a Cambodian bank account?   I do have his bank information, including SWIFT Code, Account number, Bank address...so if nothing else I can do an international wire transfer from my bank to his bank.  But there must be another way or easier solution.  Any suggestions?  

Try Remitly. I use it to send money to the Philippines each month. The recipient gets the money same day; low transaction fee. I won't do an international wire transfer bank-to-bank; the transaction fee is ridiculous. 

[jimmie50]

1 hour ago, hank75 said:

Please excuse me if this sounds blunt. In all honesty, this is excessive. I have never heard of paying an off fee for months on end. When I make arrangements to meet boys outside the bar, whether for several days or lengthy durations I have never paid off fee to the bar nor worried about it. I pay the boy, the boy settles the bar in his own way. It is very common for boys to take long leaves of absence or just blissfully vanish then reappear. They are never barred from returning to work. Bars need boys, especially popular boys, to stay in business. Don’t make the mistake of trying to do his job for him. Your job is to pay Cam the agreed stipend. Let him talk to his friends who may have been in similar situations and find the solution. Being able to keep more money for his farm and family will be a great motivator. What is the longest time he has been booked out from the bar before, and how did he handle it?

Appreciate the bluntness, and totally agree it is excessive.  Certainly not in favor of turning over a huge sum of money to Hotmale just so we can spend three months together.  This is precisely why this forum is so great.  I am gaining the knowledge and insight as to a better way of dealing with the situation based upon others experiences.  I would much prefer to give the money to Cam, which he in turn can send to his family.  The longest time he has been booked would be a 5-day trip to Phuket and several days to Pattaya with previous boyfriend I mentioned in another post.  Anything else has been short term other than the 7 days with me.  That was an unusual situation in that originally it was only three days but things happened.  We handled the additional days on a day by day basis with mamasan.  Again...this is all based upon what he has shared with me.  In reality, he could have gone anywhere with anyone for any length of time and I wouldn't necessarily know it.  

I raised the question initially because I didn't know how the arrangement would work with the bar.  Does the guy arrange that, do I make the arrangements, what is the cost factor...all unknown to me...so I am learning as I go in this situation.  

[mauRICE]

4 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

...First of all, Cam has not asked or even hinted at me sending him any money.  However, I would like to be able to occasionally do that for him over the next several months, and also in the event of any emergency situation that might come up.  

They never do; the canny ones make it seem like it's your idea.