GP turned good friend? Or am I naive?

[KJ1993]

hey guys! hope you're well? Sorry for the longish post.

Now I have a bit of a conundrum and didn't really have anyone else to ask so thought i'd post here. All thoughts appreciated!

 

After losing my Brazil viriginity in Feb 2023, I'm heading back at the beginning of November. The land where ths sun is hot and the boys are even hotter!

 

In the run up to my February trip, I struck up coversation with a really sweet GP (online) and the plan was to meet in São Paulo and do the deed.

 

Now this guy is from Brasilia and only comes to SP a couple of times a year for brief stints of work.

 

He is 100% hetero, mid to late 20s, a couple years younger than myself.  Like many Brazilians he is right on the poverty line. He is trying to fund a potential career in bodybuilding/personal training and is in and out of minimum wage jobs at home and lives with his parents.

 

Exactly my type, sweet, friendly, down to earth and built like Hercules, phenomemal chest and nips, nice tattoos and no evidence of significant steroid use.

 

He's built but not ridicuously massive either, right on the sweet spot. We chat on whatsapp/insta every two weeks or so on average.

 

For anyone wondering about potential safety concerns, we have been friends on whatsapp and Instagram since Feb. He has a healthy following, posts alot and seems like a friendly down to earth family boy.

 

He is also quite shy. Im 95% sure he is fine but of course the risk is never zero in Brazil. I do have his pix/cpf too as I have helped him out a fair few times. He has also helped me alot with Portuguese.

 

Now unfortunately we didn't get to meet in Feb as he fell sick but he wants to come back to SP while i'm there and hang out for a few days with me in my apartment before heading home.

 

At one point I had fully accepted I'd been 'friend zoned' and was expecting that he would be staying with someone else in SP but he asked if he could stay with me.

 

I've agreed and will be happy to host him for a few days. As I said before, he is hetero and even though I do lightly flirt with him on occassion, he always defaults to us being Bros or amigos  haha.

 

Like he'll send me a selfie knowing it will get me going, i send a love-struck emoji and he'll send a TMJ emoji (emoji for friends in Brazil) haha but I wonder if this is just because he wants something from me i.e dinheiro haha! Maybe, maybe not. Plus Im wondering if he has been trying to friend zone me since Feb.

 

Have the benefits of a paying client without actually having to do the work HAHA

 

Now I think in his case the Garoto programa thing may have been a one off job as he was desperate for money at the time. He also seems shy and I don't think he has the guts to be a GP but I could well be wrong. And I think If I were to ask him about it Im sure he would say it was just a one off and he no longer does that work.

 

But my question is am I naive/wrong to expect or intiate sex when he stays over. I don't know if that ship has sailed or if I should make a move when he comes. I mean even the thought of seeing him topless in my apartment drives me crazy!! But also I'd rather not be rejected and embarrassed and just keep it friendly if i have to.  

 

I'd rather decide sooner rather than later. If its a No I can emotionally prepare myself in advance and focus on all the other hunks Brazil has to offer. Even if nothing happens I would be happy to keep him as a friend.

All opinions welcome!

[lopesv2]

Hi.

 

You asked for opinions and I will give you mine.

First things first: it is your money and your life. You are free to do whatever you want (and face the consequences).

 

Poor guy story is quite well known.

From what you described you have a commercial relationship with him. It is ok and quite normal to befriend someone you have a commercial relationship. However, would advise you not to forget that it is a commercial relationship. You bring the money to the table and he brings his friendship/body.

Regarding your trip. If you want something more than just his companionship you should talk and reach an agreement beforehand. The shortest path to frustration is to expect something that the other person is not willing to give you. I am sure he wouldn’t be offended. He was a GP and he knows you are interested on him.

If he gets mad with you for asking about it beforehand it is a really good sign that you should stop seeing him. 
 

enjoy your trip!

 

 

[bcdaron]

If you don't mind wasting your time and money with a person that puts you in the friend zone then go ahead as you were. I would make it abundantly clear I want more than to be friends. If he is not okay with that then you dodged a bullet. Too many of us play the nice guy that hangs out with the hot person that knows we want to fuck them but are put into the friend zone where we give that person undue attention and they lap it up knowing full well that they have no intention of taking it further. You, oftentimes the hopeless romantic waste time dodding over them while they find ways to get freebies (meals, stays) and attention out of you to boost their ego. The straights call this simping when a guy does it for a girl. DON'T BE A GAY SIMP. 

Besides, if you let this guy stay with you how are you going to be able to give your full attention to guys you can have sex with? Additionally, how can you trust this guy to not rob you? You just met him online and he flaked on you the first time. Too many red flags in my opinion! Don't do it!

[Latbear4blk]

5 hours ago, KJ1993 said:

but I could well be wrong.

You should apply this to everything about this gentleman.

To answer your question, I agree with the friends before me. Your concern for being in the "friend zone" should pale to how concerned you should be about getting out of the "speculation zone." Talk directly about sharing your bed, your time, what you want to do, and what is expected in return. The worst that can happen is you laugh together at the misunderstanding if your impression of him is correct. 

[KJ1993]

45 minutes ago, bcdaron said:

If you don't mind wasting your time and money with a person that puts you in the friend zone then go ahead as you were. I would make it abundantly clear I want more than to be friends. If he is not okay with that then you dodged a bullet. Too many of us play the nice guy that hangs out with the hot person that knows we want to fuck them but are put into the friend zone where we give that person undue attention and they lap it up knowing full well that they have no intention of taking it further. You, oftentimes the hopeless romantic waste time dodding over them while they find ways to get freebies (meals, stays) and attention out of you to boost their ego. The straights call this simping when a guy does it for a girl. DON'T BE A GAY SIMP. 

Besides, if you let this guy stay with you how are you going to be able to give your full attention to guys you can have sex with? Additionally, how can you trust this guy to not rob you? You just met him online and he flaked on you the first time. Too many red flags in my opinion! Don't do it!

some harsh truths that I think I needed to hear 😔

[KJ1993]

34 minutes ago, Latbear4blk said:

You should apply this to everything about this gentleman.

To answer your question, I agree with the friends before me. Your concern for being in the "friend zone" should pale to how concerned you should be about getting out of the "speculation zone." Talk directly about sharing your bed, your time, what you want to do, and what is expected in return. The worst that can happen is you laugh together at the misunderstanding if your impression of him is correct. 

Noted !!! thank you 🥺

[KJ1993]

49 minutes ago, bcdaron said:

If you don't mind wasting your time and money with a person that puts you in the friend zone then go ahead as you were. I would make it abundantly clear I want more than to be friends. If he is not okay with that then you dodged a bullet. Too many of us play the nice guy that hangs out with the hot person that knows we want to fuck them but are put into the friend zone where we give that person undue attention and they lap it up knowing full well that they have no intention of taking it further. You, oftentimes the hopeless romantic waste time dodding over them while they find ways to get freebies (meals, stays) and attention out of you to boost their ego. The straights call this simping when a guy does it for a girl. DON'T BE A GAY SIMP. 

Besides, if you let this guy stay with you how are you going to be able to give your full attention to guys you can have sex with? Additionally, how can you trust this guy to not rob you? You just met him online and he flaked on you the first time. Too many red flags in my opinion! Don't do it!

Agree 100% , tough words but I needed to hear them , thank u 🥲

[floridarob]

I've invited guys twice that I knew and got along with to stay with me on a later trip.......HORRIBLE. One I had to tell to go home or go rent a room, worst room mate ever, great guy, but made me crazy.

The 2nd one ended up being a cock block, because he wanted sex with the GP's that I brought back and I had no privacy and of course he was younger and good looking, so the GP was like, yeah, I'll fuck him instead, lol

Go enjoy your trip, he can rent a room and work in the saunas and you can meet him at the sauna or after.....too much on offer in Brasil to get stuck with 1, that might be only "a friend"

[bcdaron]

27 minutes ago, floridarob said:

I've invited guys twice that I knew and got along with to stay with me on a later trip.......HORRIBLE. One I had to tell to go home or go rent a room, worst room mate ever, great guy, but made me crazy.

The 2nd one ended up being a cock block, because he wanted sex with the GP's that I brought back and I had no privacy and of course he was younger and good looking, so the GP was like, yeah, I'll fuck him instead, lol

Go enjoy your trip, he can rent a room and work in the saunas and you can meet him at the sauna or after.....too much on offer in Brasil to get stuck with 1, that might be only "a friend"

Ditto, the same thing happened to me. I let a GP stay with me because his accommodations were far away from the city near the airport and he cock blocked me every chance he could. Don't get me wrong, I got days of free sex but every time I looked to hook up with another guy he acted like a jealous bitch. Had to get rid of him....don't let this guy ruin your vacation.

[scott456]

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

I've invited guys twice that I knew and got along with to stay with me on a later trip.......HORRIBLE. One I had to tell to go home or go rent a room, worst room mate ever, great guy, but made me crazy.

The 2nd one ended up being a cock block, because he wanted sex with the GP's that I brought back and I had no privacy and of course he was younger and good looking, so the GP was like, yeah, I'll fuck him instead, lol

Go enjoy your trip, he can rent a room and work in the saunas and you can meet him at the sauna or after.....too much on offer in Brasil to get stuck with 1, that might be only "a friend"

But OP is lonely, he is desperate for friendship and companionship.