jimmie50

I checked and Amazon actually has the book in stock. It is a little on the expensive side...$65...but from the description I think it will provide more up to date and in-depth information that I am looking for. Thanks for the recommendation.

I have checked amazon, but was hoping to find something a little more current. Most of what amazon has to offer only includes events through approximately 2010. I was hoping to find something beginning around 2018 to the present. They had a couple, but not the hard copy...only online editions through Kindle. I hate reading books online. I am old school and want to actually hold the book in my hands and flip the pages. I tried to locate a hard copy of the two more recent books but it seems they are only available on Kindle. I am not that desperate.

I was running some errands this morning and while waiting on the card shop to open I decided to go into the Barnes & Noble bookstore which was right next door. The bookstore was already open. I thought I would see what books they might have about Cambodia. I guess it should come as no surprise, but there was not one single book that provided any information specifically on Cambodia. In the travel section, there was one travel guide that included Cambodia, Laos, Thailand and Vietnam. In Military History and World History that was nothing...not even anything on the Vietnam War that might have included details about the bombing of Cambodia. I even asked at the Customer Service desk and they could find nothing in their computer system that I could even order. It seems the country, their history and culture, and the atrocities of past and present are of little interest to anyone.

This was mentioned in both books you recommended to me. The people in general are resistant to change. I can see this even in Cam's family. If his father had his way, they would have replaced the old, rotten, termite infested fence with another wood fence that would eventually become rotten and termite infested again. However, at Cam's insistence they are using steel rods, cement and brick. Regarding the new house, his father said he did not want the bathroom inside the house, but again, Cam and his siblings have all said that is not an option. If his father insists on the bathroom outside, there will be two bathrooms...one inside for the family and one outside for father. lol. I try to be supportive of Cam and his siblings and remind them that in the future the house will belong to one of them. Would they want a new, modern house without an indoor bathroom? When posed to them that way, they all agreed with Cam that the bathroom would be inside the house. His parents remind me of the old expression...you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. lol.

Yes, at the moment that is what I have. It will be fine for my upcoming trip in September. However, if this becomes a more permanent move I will need to get some type of health insurance for expats. One more thing to investigate. That list continues to grow. lol.

The corruption just seems to be part of the culture and is accepted by everyone as 'normal'. Everyone has their hand out. Students must pay bribes to teachers in order to attend and get passing grades (whether they pass or not...another bribe), Principals demand payment from the teachers, local education leaders from the government require payment from the Principals, and so on. The book I just finished did mention Tonie Sap and what is happening there. Same thing for medical practitioners...you want treatment...pay me first. Supposedly the healthcare is to be free for the poor. How do you determine who is poor when a majority of the country would qualify. Very disturbing indeed. I also feel somewhat ashamed and embarrassed that I was not aware of any of this until meeting Cam and wanting to learn more about his country and culture. I guess I, too, have had blinders on. Given this new information, I understand his anger towards the government and desire to change things. At least he is doing what he can to make things better for his family. I know that Cam is able to read and write. He has gone to school...but for how many years and up to what grade I do not know. These are things I want to investigate further with him, but prefer it to be in person...not via text or video chat. At this point, I feel I need to be careful what I put in writing to him via text as I most certainly do not trust the government there. I don't want to put anything in print that could create problems for him and his family. So, we do not discuss politics at all at the moment. All of our discussions were in person while we were together in Bangkok.

I need to learn more about healthcare in Cambodia for sure. That is definitely on my agenda after reading the book Cambodia's Curse. While I am on Medicare like most Americans 65 and older, I do have supplemental medical insurance for when I travel outside the US that includes medical evacuation if it were to become necessary. As the commercial says...I don't leave home without it. lol.

On my most recent trip where I ended up going to the hospital due to illness, I was impressed with the facilities as well as the quality and level of care. In total, including lab work, doctors visit, and medication I think I spent a total of 5400 Baht. Compared to care in the US, this was very inexpensive. After reading the book Cambodia's Curse, I am definitely concerned about healthcare in Cambodia. It would seem because of the corruption that most of the money intended for healthcare is siphoned off by Hun Sen and his cronies until very little if any actually reaches the local hospitals and clinics. Therefore, they lack the necessary supplies and equipment. Complete and proper training also seems to be nonexistent. Medical personnel are paid very little and often require bribes before they will see a patient or provide any treatment at all. It seems as though the entire country operates on a system of 'who you know' and how much 'under the table' money you can pay.

Until reading this book and watching documentaries from various sources with Cam, I really was not familiar with the history of Cambodia. Much of what you stated is included in this book. The level of corruption, environmental destruction and violent land grabs from the local level all the way to the upper echelons is appalling. Even worse than that, to me, is the fact that countries and organizations are well aware of this but continued year after year to support this regime knowing little would change and that most of the money would end up in the pockets of Hun Sen and his cronies...the Cambodian people would never see one cent or receive any benefit from it. The book was a real eye opener for me. I appreciate @Tomtravel recommending it, and would encourage others to read it as well. Unfortunately, it only provides information through 2010, so nothing since then is included. I do not know the current state of affairs or if things have improved at all...but I have my doubts. I plan to begin the other recommended book today by Sebastian Strangio.

Thank you for the recommendations. I did order the books online via Amazon.com so they were in Denver waiting for me when I returned. I have just finished Cambodia's Curse and it was a truly depressing book. I cannot believe the culture of corruption. I am not naive enough to think that this does not happen other places in the world, but I find it hard to believe it is to the same extent as what takes place in Cambodia. It was also disturbing to me that countries and organizations continued to support the Cambodian government financially year after year knowing how bad the corruption was and how the Cambodian people in general were so ill-treated by their own government. At least for me, I came away after reading this book believing that Hun Sen is no different or better than Pol Pot was...just not to the same extreme. As you said, the book ends with the hope that the younger generation can make a difference. The book does give me some cause for concern about staying in Cambodia long term with Cam and just how safe it might be.

I am not sure I would be open at this stage in my life to have a joint bank account with Cam or anyone else. I think the only way I would consider that again is if it was a household account which we both contributed to in order to pay living expenses, and we both had separate accounts for personal endeavors. At least that is my mindset at the moment. I do believe Cam is a good manager of his monies, as I have seen the bank account and know what he says the family has saved for the new house actually does exist and he was certainly able to pay the 40,000 Baht for building materials they just had delivered. He has also never asked me for one cent and I had complete trust in him during our stay together in Bangkok. A joint account would probably be ok...but that is way down the road. First hurdle is me actually going to Cambodia for that initial visit, meeting the family, and getting a lay of the land...so to speak.

At 75, I think I am well past the mid-life crisis stage. LOL.

lol. I guess I must be the adventuresome type of person. Either that, or some might say I live in a state of sheer stupidity. You are 100% correct. I have never been to Cambodia. In fact, until I met Cam, Cambodia was never even on my radar other than knowing it was a country in Southeast Asia that borders Thailand, Laos and Vietnam. I was in high school during the Vietnam War and vaguely recall news stories about the bombing of Cambodia by America, but never really knew much about the country other than that until I met Cam. To my knowledge, I have never met anyone from Cambodia until meeting Cam. I have since met some of his friends, all of whom are Cambodian. Of course, the friends are all located in Bangkok, so that will not be very useful if we are in Battambang, Cambodia. I have been trying to educate myself as much as possible about the culture and the history. There are a number of good documentaries available that provide a historical perspective from different viewpoints. Several books were recommended to me by forum members as well, which I ordered from amazon.com and they were waiting for me when I returned from Bangkok. I have finished two of the four books and am about halfway through the third one. Basically, it’s like cramming for an exam. Never tried Khmer food. In fact, I have tried to locate a restaurant in the Denver area that specializes in Khmer cuisine to no avail. There is one place that is located inside a bar that has a fusion menu of different Southeast Asian and American foods combined. Not very authentic. There are some Cambodian restaurants in California, but nothing I ever tried when living there. I have downloaded an app on my phone and am attempting to learn the language…or at least a few important phrases for my first visit there. While I am looking forward to reuniting with Cam on my upcoming trip in September, I would say this trip is also a fact-finding mission to see if this is something I can really do at this stage in my life. When I moved to California more than 35 years ago, I only knew one other person. That move was never planned but an accident. The one person I knew was a friend who was transferred by his company from Atlanta to San Francisco. He recruited a number of his friends to help with the move. I was one of those friends. I drove the U-Haul truck across country that contained all of his belongings as well as his dog beside me in the cab of the truck. My plan was to spend a few extra days sightseeing and then fly home. My friend had paid for the plane ticket in exchange for helping with the move. I discovered that I really liked California and the idea of living there. I gave myself one week to see if I could find a job…and the rest is history. Before meeting my ex-boyfriend, I knew nothing about Taiwan nor had ever visited the country. We even lived there for more than a year because of visa issues he had in the US. I thoroughly enjoyed that time and would look forward to our annual trips to visit his family during the ten years we were together. I didn’t know anyone there, knew little about the history or culture of the country, but managed quite well. I even took classes at a local university to learn the language. Yes, the move to Denver from San Jose was to be closer to my family…more specifically to my nephews. After my parents retired, they moved to Florida and as they got older both had health issues. When things got really bad, both me and my sister made multiple trips back and forth to Florida dealing with the various problems. It was challenging for us both to deal with these things long distance. Since I never had children, as I get older the burden of caring for me will fall to my nephews. In fact, the younger nephew is one of the persons named legally in documents if anything ever did happen to me and I was unable to make decisions or take care of myself. I did not know a single person other than family when I moved to Denver. I had never been to Denver before. But I made the move so that my nephews would not be put through the same ordeal as me and my sister with our parents. Moving to a place totally foreign to me and not knowing anyone seems to be a pattern most of my life. Do I have some concerns…of course…but you don’t know until you try. I won’t know if this is something I can really do at this stage in my life unless I actually go and spend some time there. Come September I will get that opportunity for approximately ten weeks. If all goes well, I will return in early 2027 once the new house project is finished and make the move more permanent. As the saying goes…’the things we do for love’.

Here is a brief update on the construction project. Even though they do not plan to begin actual construction on the new house until December 8 (date chosen by fortune teller), Cam has a lot to do in preparation for the main project. They are building temporary housing for his parents on the back of the property for them to stay in during construction. There was also a wooden fence around the entire property that was pretty much destroyed by the termites as well and needs to be replaced. Those two things have been the main focus of Cam since his return. They completely removed the wooden fence and will be replacing it with something a little more substantial. Just yesterday they had building materials delivered for these two projects. He shows me their progress with photos and video as well as video chat. They received 200 bags of cement, a load of sand, a load of gravel, steel rods, and no idea how many brick and block. The stack is just mind boggling to see. In total he said the materials cost 40,000 Baht. On a side note, it is interesting to me that when he refers to the cost of anything it is always in Baht, never Riel or USD, even though he is native Cambodian and accustomed to the dual currency there and has only been in Thailand occasionally to work over some years. He is working very hard and was very proud that he was able to purchase these materials for his parents. They start around 7am and work until around 6 or 7 pm seven days a week. I think they break for lunch when it gets so hot in the afternoons. He always wears long pants and a long sleeved shirt over a t-shirt to protect himself from the sun. He also has this safari-style hat with a flap in the back to cover his neck. Given how well he tries to protect himself from the sun...he wears sandals. I asked him a couple of times about work boots, but finally gave up on that idea.

To be perfectly honest, if I am going to be part of the family I don't mind helping out a little bit. I have never said that to Cam, but in the back of my mind I have thought about it. That is definitely a 'wait and see' kind of thing. I don't want to become a walking ATM, so I am very careful when it comes to the financial arrangements. The brother, who is in construction, estimates the cost of the new house with family providing all of the labor will be approximately $15,000. With all five siblings contributing over a period of almost five years they have managed to save $12,000. However, price of materials have increased thanks to the carrot top bobble head. That estimate is probably on the low side now. They are actually planning to purchase some needed materials for the temporary housing tomorrow (Saturday), so I am anxious to hear from Cam about the pricing. His brother will know if there has been a significant increase for materials. I was surprised nobody asked in the Gay Thailand forum in my Love Interest 2026 post about financial arrangements between me and Cam on the most recent trip. We had no arrangements in advance other than simply wanting to spend the time together to see if this was going to lead to anything serious. The only firm commitment going in was I would pay all of our expenses during that time...Airbnb, food, transportation, anything we did for entertainment, and even a couple of shopping trips to the mall. I will say that Cam never asked for anything other than wanting to go play snooker with his friends a couple of times. Even then, I was included in those activities. When grocery shopping, he might pick out a snack or type of fruit he wanted. He would never choose the restaurant if we were eating out. It was always wherever I wanted to eat. His usual response was 'I eat everything. You are more picky. You decide'. LOL. I wanted to buy him some new clothes. Trying to get him to pick out anything was like pulling teeth. He finally would select one or two items, but only after I threatened to pick them out myself. We definitely have different taste and style, so threatening to buy him an all pink outfit did the trick. The only formal agreement other than me paying all of the expenses for both of us was that he would not work at the bar during that time. An 'off fee' was never discussed nor asked for. However, knowing that he was not working during those ten or eleven weeks with no income and he would have expenses for the trip home just a couple of days after I left for Denver, my plan was always to give him some money. Since he never really asked for anything during our time together and resisted purchasing things, I wasn't sure if he would even accept my 'donation'. I was not extravagant, but certainly wanted to be generous. Initially he refused, but eventually we came to an agreement about him accepting and also the amount. I am sure he only spent a small portion of that on himself and the trip home. The remainder went into the new house fund. So, I guess in a roundabout way I have contributed...technically. My perspective is perhaps a little different from others given our situation. In my previous relationship with the Taiwanese, we had a joint bank account and shared expenses. Our attitude was 'what is mine is yours and vice versa'. Cam and I are beginning a long term relationship. Therefore, my attitude is very similar to what it was with the Taiwanese boyfriend. I wanted to make sure Cam had enough money to pay for the journey back to Cambodia. We knew in advance that was going to be around 7000 Baht. He also wanted to take back a few things to his family. We actually went shopping together for those things, but that didn't amount to much. He needed to be careful about how much he was going to be carrying on foot through the forest. Probably the most expensive and largest item was a bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey for him to share with his father and siblings. The arrangement for the upcoming trip to Cambodia is the same as it was in Bangkok...I will pay all of the expenses for us during that time. Since we are entering into a relationship...family is family. If a little help is needed for the new house, I really don't mind.

I realize this isn't the politics forum, but since you mentioned it here and it does specifically pertain to the increase in cost of living and expenses around the world, he gave an unhinged, rambling televised speech last night for 25 minutes. Basically a rehash with no proof regarding the 2020 election. Gavin Newsome, Governor of California, said it best: I just watched the ramblings of a mad king and what else can I say — the only thing missing was tin foil. Donald Trump is trying to rig our elections and we have to stop him.

I am very careful to ask questions but not make suggestions per se. When I asked about construction equipment, I was merely inquiring if it was possible to rent something nearby. I have never been involved in construction projects and have no skills in that regards, so keeping quiet about how they are doing things should be an easy task for me. I would have no clue if there was a better way of doing it or not. lol.

No, as of now it has not been mentioned. I am anticipating the request may come when the cost of the new house increases as construction moves along. Prices have gone up everywhere for everything.

Just wait until I actually have boots on the ground in September! Naturally, I am missing Cam and cannot wait to be reunited with him, but I am also excited about exploring a new country and cannot wait to share that with forum members.

Yes, even though I found it somewhat annoying, I never expressed that openly. Just was my personal feelings about it. I never even said anything to Cam about it. I was always polite and did always say hello or goodbye. When leaving the condo on the last day, I did give them a very nice tip.

Well, the construction project is now underway. Cam, his brother and his father started construction on the temporary housing they are building on the back of the property. They also have a local farmer helping them, and one of his brother in laws. Once the temporary housing is complete, his parents will stay there while the new main structure is being built. He has been sending me photos and videos of the work so far. He has been digging holes for support beams and a very long trench. I am not sure what the trench is for just yet. I try not to ask too many questions. I am not sure what the plan is for bathroom and kitchen, although I know one of the major digging projects the last two days has been to dig a well. They were successful with that and have water. It remains to be seen how that actually gets into the temporary housing. I am utterly amazed they are doing all of this by hand. I asked if there wasn't some type of business in the area that rented construction equipment. A small backhoe or excavator would make things much easier for them, not to mention faster, but he said such a business didn't exist. Because of the heat, they work primarily in the mornings starting around 7am until noon, take a break in the afternoon, and start back around 4pm when it begins to get cooler until around 7pm. Assembling the structure itself will be easier. It is all of this preliminary stuff that is hard, physical work.

During my recent visit, the security staff at the condo where we were staying would wai every single time they would see me exit the elevator to leave the building or when we would be returning to the building from the outside and going to the elevator. Initially I didn't mind, but I did not return the wai as I did not think it was appropriate. To be honest, it really got a little annoying to have them do it so much...every single time they saw me. When I met the elderly father of my Thai friends who let me use their condo for accommodations when I visit, I felt it would be disrespectful if I did not provide a wai for him. But with my friends, we never do it.

Mac had some personal issues going on at one time and could be kind of flaky. He canceled on me last minute. I used Woody who is based in Chiang Mai but will sometimes come to Bangkok if the price is right. He is an excellent guide. He can be booked through Siamroads.

I have confirmed with Cam that he uses Metfone for cell and internet service and his bank is ACLEDA. I will most likely choose those as well to make things simpler.

Thanks for pointing that feature out. I completely missed that option. I always go to the different forum sections I am interested in and click on the new posts that way. This would be much easier to just click on unread content.