jimmie50

Cam has finished all of the medication and is back to ‘normal’ 100% now. We managed to survive this minor bump in the road without too much drama. We have gotten into a somewhat normal daily routine…wake up, shower together, go get breakfast at the nearby market (must be about 40 food booths under one roof), go window shopping someplace nearby (usually a mall) or grocery shopping, have a light snack and then Cam goes to the gym for two hours while I work on preparing some dinner most nights, chill out watching television together (mostly in Khmer…but very predictable and easy to figure out the plot), shower together again, then some play time before sleep. Actually a very simple routine that we are both happy with. Cam does not miss the bar scene at all and is very happy to be away from that. I even ask if he wants to go for a drink with his Cambodian friends at any of the clubs or to see one of the shows and he says he has no interest in doing that. He certainly gets no arguments from me on that front. Just like an old married couple I guess. lol. I don’t wish to share too much as I don’t want to jinx things, but so far things have been going well. Other than learning to be around each other when he was sick and simply wanted to be left alone…I would say we have done remarkably well. He is very attentive and also what I call very touchy, feely towards me all of the time…even out in public. We have had some good discussions about life together in Cambodia and been making some preliminary plans. I have also had to do some investigation into questions that have come up during our conversations. As of now, it looks like I will return to Denver in late July for approximately five or six weeks to take care of medical appointments and financial matters. Plan to fly from Denver on September 1 to Siem Reap. That was a bit of a challenge. Most airlines will fly as far as Bangkok, then I have to book a separate flight with some regional carrier directly to get from Bangkok to Siem Reap. Could not book direct through United, Cathay Pacific, Starlux, EVA, China Airlines, ANA, etc…or any of the usual airlines I prefer for travel to Asia. Everything put me at Suvarnabhumi and then booking with Bangkok Airways…twin turbo prop plane. No thank you! Been there, done that. Never again. Open to other recommendations from those of you who have visited Cambodia before from Thailand. There must be other options besides Bangkok Airways. Finally was able to book with Singapore Airlines from San Francisco to Singapore, then Singapore direct to Siem Reap via 737. Had to book separately for flight from Denver to SF on United. Done that before, so no big deal. Will apply for a 30-day Ordinary E-Class visa online through the Cambodian eVisa Portal prior to arrival…not a tourist visa. These are different. Once I arrive in Cambodia, I will need to go to the Immigration Department in Siem Reap and convert the E-Class Visa to an ER (retirement) Visa Extension of Stay for 12 months which allows multiple entries and no limit on the number of times it can be renewed. There is also no money required as a deposit for the visa…just a government fee. I only need to provide proof of a minimum monthly income of $1500 USD. I should also be able to open a bank account with the retirement visa, and three different banks have been recommended. One of those is the same bank that Cam uses, so I will probably opt for that one…at least initially. Rented an apartment in Siem Reap for the first month via Airbnb. That will give us time to go looking for an apartment in Battambang. Will either rent a motorbike or may consider buying one. Cam’s parents have a motorbike, but they will not be in Siem Reap or Battambang but his home town. In addition, they will need their motorbike for daily use so not an option for us to have in Siem Reap. Would consider renting a car, but foreigners cannot drive a rental car without Cambodian license. Also cannot drive motorbike over 125cc without Cambodian license. Once we have actually found an apartment in Battambang I will need to get the Cambodian license. Finding an apartment to rent will probably be the biggest challenge, and we might need to use the services of a real estate agent. I will only need my passport and the retirement visa in order to rent. Most places will be similar to the US in asking for some type of deposit. I have already been warned to make sure and get a written contract…not verbal agreement. The landlord is legally required to register us in the Foreigners' Presence Control System (FPCS) upon move-in, which tracks foreign nationals staying in the country. I will also need to get established with a doctor. I cannot order my usual 3-month supply of medications online and have my sister ship them to me from Denver to Cambodia. They are very strict about pharmaceuticals and will most likely be confiscated. FedEx, UPS and DHL are all very reluctant to accept any pharmaceuticals for shipment. Instead, it was recommended to me via online expat community to provide a list of medications, dosage, and reason for medication from my US doctor to a doctor in Cambodia and have them write new prescriptions for me that can be filled on a regular basis there.

Welcome to the forum. It took awhile for my initial post to be approved...cannot remember exactly how long, but I did end up sending a follow-up message to the administrator requesting approval. Site has been sluggish for me as well. Some days it works super fast, and other days I finally just give up waiting on the page to load and close my browser. Been that way ever since the site was hacked and the reboot.

+1

Yes, and he also owns Unicorn on Soi 4. He is from California. Makes frequent trips to Philippines as well. Not sure if he has business ventures there are not. He is quite close to the lady who owns Banana Bar on Soi 4.

We leave the A/C on all the time when we are at the condo, but have adjusted the temp to 25 degrees for now. A bit warm for me, but want to make sure I don't freeze Cam out or cause his cold to linger on. He is much improved and almost 100% today. Going out soon to do some grocery shopping at the supermarket. As for shower...we like to shower together (more my preference than his), so we start out with warm to hot for me, then midway dial that back so it is colder for him. He much prefers cold showers, and is accustomed to that from home as well as his room in Bangkok where he was living. When we would go to visit my ex-boyfriend's parents in Taiwan, they had no hot water, nor a shower. You basically filled up a large wash tub with water, sat on a stool in the middle of the bathroom floor, used a smaller scoop to get yourself wet, then soap up, and use the scoop again to rinse. At least in our apartment in Taipei we had a standup shower and lukewarm water. I enjoyed visiting his parents, and they were always very nice to me, but always hated the bath experience. Felt like I was 10 or 11 years old and back in summer camp.

I experienced this first hand with my Taiwanese boyfriend and his family. Many times during that ten year period my theme song was 'smile and go with the flow'. Often was given some pretty nasty stuff to try when I was sick and they tried to 'heal me' with the Chinese medicines. My ex and his brother both had Master's degrees in engineering, and his sister a Master's in Business...so all very well educated...but when sick would also go to the Chinese medicines first.

First of all, thanks to everyone for your concern about Cam. He is finally filling better, although not 100%, but has gone to the gym this afternoon for a short workout. I cautioned him not to overdo it. After three days of being cooped up in the condo with each other, we were about to go a little crazy. Getting outside and getting a little fresh air will do him some good as well (if you can call Bangkok air fresh). A little sunshine will do him some good as well. It is a struggle between us to find a balance on the A/C. I am accustomed to central heat/air conditioning back in Denver. I am always careful to make sure any place I book when I travel has A/C as one of the minimum requirements. Cam, on the other hand, has never had A/C at home, nor anywhere he has lived in Bangkok. The only place he has A/C on a regular basis was at the bar when he went to work. We had sort of settled on 23 degrees as being comfortable for both of us all the time, but since he got sick I have bumped that up to 25. That works for him and is tolerable for me, so we will probably leave it there. I also appreciate everyone's concern regarding Cam's overall health. While he said he had never been to see a doctor even as a child, I don't know what the standard practice is, if any, in Cambodia regarding childhood vaccinations. No idea if his mother took him to see a doctor or not, and he was too little to remember. Prescriptions are not needed to get some medications in Cambodia or Thailand as they are in the US, so he has always been able to just pick up anything he needed previously for colds. He was fortunate enough not to get Covid. He easily purchased an antibiotic for this cold over the counter along with the other medications recommended by the pharmacist. There are certain things I do know about his overall health. He has always practiced safe sex with me. I know he takes Prep. He has told me that he would never go with any customer who refused to use any protection. He has told me stories of getting dressed and walking out on customers who insisted no condom regardless of the money. I know he and two of his Cambodian friends who also work in bars get tested at Pulse every three months. I have seen him on video chat waiting for his number to be called at the clinic and then he has showed me his test results. I have also shared my test results with him...we are both negative. From this standpoint, I am very comfortable with the situation. As I said to @bkkmfj2648, Cam probably is taking on more of a risk given my age and various ailments versus his health status. Still, at some point it would be a good idea to try to persuade him to get a complete physical. Perhaps after I meet his family and am able to connect with his mother and/or sister, we can all work on him regarding making an appointment.

Thanks @bkkmfj2648 for the A/C information. I do believe that A/C is the most likely culprit for his cold. I can easily take care of the inside filter given the diagram you posted. Unfortunately, the outside unit is not possible for me to get even reach. We do not have a balcony, so it must literally be attached to the exterior wall of the building. Considering we are on the 16th floor, I do not plan to investigate that. Not sure the owner would honor any request to have the filter cleaned or replaced. The condo is a large studio, so only one A/C unit and it is located very near the bed. Will definitely start turning it up at night in addition to cleaning the filter. Cam seems to be feeling a little better this afternoon. Wisely decided against going to the gym today, but we might go for a short walk in the nearby park this evening. He had some rice and veggies for lunch and I am cooking dinner. He slept all morning until time for more medicine. He had actually set the alarm on his phone, so after taking the next dose of meds he ate a little lunch.

On another note, would appreciate hearing from any forum members who have visited Battambang, Cambodia. Interested in your thoughts about the city, especially compared to Siem Reap. Also, if anyone has suggestions for how to find an apartment to rent long term in Cambodia, I would appreciate any information. Since Cam has always lived at home, he has no idea about the rental market or how to go about finding a place. In that regard, we will both be novices. I don't know if there is some central website that posts rentals or if there are real estate agents who can help with such a thing.

Cam went to the pharmacy and purchased some medicine. I wasn’t familiar with what he purchased, so did a google search and determined one was an antibiotic, one was a decongestant, and one a cough suppressant. Basically slept most of the day yesterday and appears he will do the same again today. Probably for the best. Have learned several things from this experience. He told me he has never once gone to see a doctor when sick…even as a child. Suggested we go to the clinic to see a doctor, which is when he told me ‘no doctor’. He also does not make a very good patient. Basically just wants to be left alone. Against my nature, but have complied with that request. Everyone is different when they are sick as to what level of care they want. He just wants to be left alone to sleep. He did eat some dinner last night and breakfast again this morning…mostly rice both times. He has also done something to himself that seems to be similar to cupping that I have seen the Chinese do. Looks terrible and appears to me that it would be something painful to do, but he says he always does this when he gets sick. He is also using some type of menthol lotion or ointment. To be honest, feel somewhat at a loss as to what to do for him, but since he has requested to simply be left alone I am trying my best to honor that request. Thanks to @jason1975 for checking in with me to make sure Cam was okay. It is just a cold and probably needs to run its course. Hopefully the medication will start to kick in soon and we will see some improvements. I do have to say that even though he is a tad bit irritable and dare I say 'bitchy', he has done his best to reassure me he is not mad or upset with me...just wants to be left alone to sleep.

After some discussion, I think we have decided to spend the first month in Siem Reap once I arrive in Cambodia. I will book something for us online via Airbnb. That will give me a chance to do some exploring in Siem Reap, but we will also spend some time in Battambang looking for apartments. Hopefully we won’t have too much difficulty. We decided to settle in Battambang because there are fewer tourists, it is closer to Cam’s family, he is more familiar with the city, and he has several friends who live there so an already established social network. My ‘must have’ list is relatively short…A/C is number one on the list, washer, decent kitchen, furnished, and at least a queen size bed. Cam is easier to please, but would like some type of outdoor space…either a balcony or yard. We are open to any type of housing…condo, apartment, house. I suspect we may end up working with a real estate agent as Cam is not familiar with the particulars regarding rental property. Speaking of A/C, we have been keeping the unit set in the Bangkok condo around 23 or 24. That has been comfortable for both of us in general, but we might need to adjust that during the night when sleeping. Cam started getting a cold yesterday and is really not feeling well today. I can tell he feels miserable and he has been sneezing and blowing his nose a lot. Not sure if his throat is bothering him or not, but no cough so far. He did buy some medicine to take. Been a bit of a learning experience for us both being around each other when one is sick. He gets very quiet, keeps to himself, and really doesn’t want to be bothered. I learned quickly not to ask too many questions, keep conversation to a minimum, and just let him rest quietly.

Had an interesting evening with Cam and his Cambodian friends he meets to play snooker. The more time we spend together the more I am learning about his past experiences. His first time coming to Thailand to work was when he was 16. At that time he came with his father and brother. They were working in construction. They would come and work for a few months and then return home. That seems to be the pattern his parents established and he has followed since coming to Bangkok on his own. The friends we went to meet and the area where they play snooker is far from Silom and in an area of Bangkok I have never been before. This is the area where he lived and worked construction and food service on and off for five years. He would come and work a few months and then return home for a long period of time. So, he knows this area very well, and many people from the area, too. As several forum members have pointed out, while the pay may be more than he would get for a similar job in Cambodia, construction workers and waiters do not make that much money in Thailand, either…especially foreigners from Cambodia, Laos, and Myanmar. A Cambodian friend of his from the same hometown was working at Hotmale and persuaded him to go to work at the bar. That is how he ended up in Silom. Cam said initially the money was better for the first few months because he was a new, fresh face, but that didn’t last long. The bar doesn’t get many customers most days now. Given the pattern established over the years of working a few months and then returning home, I honestly believe he would have returned home months ago if not for the issue with the closed borders and no chance of a visa at the present time. If he goes home, he has no idea when he might be able to return again to work if it is needed. He told me before the border problems he would work for two or three months at the most and then return home for at least six months. In addition to working on the farm and helping his brother with the construction business, he has operated his own food cart. I have seen photos and videos of him cooking and selling from the cart. He is definitely a hard worker and not just someone who sits around doing the least amount of work possible just to get by. He takes the initiative to find work or start his own business…like the food cart. Back to his friends, though…although I have never really played pool or snooker and wasn’t even sure what the difference was between the two, they were very nice and friendly. Of course, putting the three of them together in a social setting meant that most of their conversation was in Khmer, but since they are all in food service they had some English skills and tried to include me from time to time. Cam was good about trying to teach me the game. The three of us played two games, then I politely stepped aside for the third game and let them have their fun while I just watched. It was interesting to observe their interactions. The three of them shared two beers and I just had water. One of them also brought some meat skewers they had purchased from a street cart to share. Cam warned me that they were very spicy and I might want to avoid. I will say he is always very attentive and looking out for me. Even though he was with his friends, he was constantly checking on me to make sure I was comfortable and doing okay. We probably spent a total of three hours together. It was nice to actually see a place he talks about going to every so often, to learn more about his history in Thailand, and to explore an area of Bangkok that was his home base when working in the city for five or six years from age 18 until 24.

1. What ended your relationship in Taiwan? My relationship with the Taiwanese ended after I discovered on his various business trips around the US that he was seeing multiple people for fun when we were supposed to be in a monogamous relationship. Not only was I concerned about the cheating aspect, but also the fact he was not safe and put my health at risk. We originally met online, then he came to the US on a work visa with a start-up company in Silicon Valley. That company ended up folding so he lost the work visa and had to return to Taiwan. It was during that period of time where I took a sabbatical from teaching for one year and we lived in Taipei while he attempted to find another job with a US company that would sponsor him for the work visa…possibly a green card. During that year he was hired by IBM and assigned to their office in Fremont, CA…so back to the Bay Area we went. He had to travel with IBM, which is when the cheating was taking place. 2. How is your Khmer language? I had no reason up until this point in time to even consider learning Khmer. Never been to Cambodia or even thought about visiting until I met Cam. Just as he has taught himself to speak conversational Thai, he has picked up a fair amount of English to be able to communicate with customers in the bar. I would say his level is around intermediate versus beginner for me and Khmer. He is trying to teach me some basic words and phrases, and I have downloaded an app to my phone that provides daily lessons. And yes, I rely on several translate programs available…not just Google Translate…as it is not always the most accurate. I have also learned to copy the Khmer version, reverse translate and paste that version to translate into English so I am sure what is being communicated to him as accurate to my thoughts. It is a work in progress for sure. 3. Peter mentioned having a Plan B. I always have several backup plans in the works in case things don’t work out…with most things in life. 4. Is Cam suited for construction work? Cam grew up working on the family farm, which is hard work. He has showed me photos and videos. Certainly not easy work. He has also worked construction, both in Thailand and in Cambodia. His brother is a builder. When his father is not tending to the farm, he helps the oldest son with the construction business. He has experience with laying brick and cement block, tile work, flooring, and some plumbing and electrical. A job with his brother is there for him whenever he wants it. As you said, ALL relationships are difficult and require work on the part of everyone involved. Only time will tell if things are going to work out. Probably not for the faint of heart…but I am ready to give it the old college try. lol. At my age, what do I have to lose. Why not enjoy whatever years I have left.

Cam’s family has a long history of crossing the border for employment opportunities. The first time he came to Bangkok he was 16 years old and came with both his father and brother. They worked construction. His mother and sisters have also crossed over to work in food service. This was long before the current problems regarding the border closings and no visa runs possible. They are aware of the visa situation and his lack of a current one so needing to stay under the radar, so to speak. While it is possible they are ‘turning a blind eye’ as to his actual job, given the family history of going back and forth over time it is also possible they accept him at his word. As has been reported on the forum many times about the overall state of affairs regarding the lack of customers in the boy bars, especially Hotmale, I don’t know that he has been able to send huge sums of money home that would raise any red flags. After all, he does have daily living expenses and Bangkok is not a cheap place to live, even if the boys do share housing. Cam said many nights there are no customers and they don’t even have the show at Hotmale. He is lucky if a customer even invites him to sit for a drink most nights. Regarding what he has told his parents about our meeting…he said I was a frequent visitor to Thailand from US and a regular customer at the restaurant where he works part time as a server when I am in Bangkok. Beyond that, I do not know what questions they may have asked him or what else he shared around the circumstances of our meeting and the fact we are living together. Sometimes 2+2=4; sometimes 2+2=5. lol. Don’t ask, don’t tell may very well come into play here regarding the relationship aspect of things. The houses on either side of Cam’s parents are both new houses, and based upon what Cam said they don’t have young locals or know any foreigners. Beyond that, I cannot comment with any accuracy about the gossip mill surrounding new homes in Cambodia.

While I do not claim to have all of the answers, what I know is this. First I need to establish with forum members that other than paying Cam for the time he spent with me in March/April of this year, he has never requested nor have I sent him any money. All five siblings plus parents have been contributing to a ‘new house fund’ for the last 4-5 years and they have managed to accumulate as of this moment $7000 USD. The new house is estimated to cost approximately $12,000 USD because they plan to do all of the labor themselves (family and friends). They only need to buy materials. I am sure there will be some incidentals that come up during construction that either are unexpected or they simply didn’t think about it. That happens with most projects. Time will tell on that. They hope to start construction in December and estimate it will take around 2-3 months to complete with 7 or 8 persons doing the bulk of the work (father, brother, 3 brothers-in-law, 2 cousins, and Cam). But, back to your questions…money I gave him in March/April that went towards the new house did not have me attached to it in any way. He simply told his parents it was money he earned from his job. At least for the present time I have been able to avoid any requests for assistance. Cam has never asked for himself or his family. Adding goats and turtles to the farm is just a long term goal of Cam’s. It isn’t something that needs to be done right away. He believes that raising turtles will be easier to get started since they already have a pond on the farm and it won’t require a lot of expense to get set up. Goats are more in the future. The point is that he is looking ahead and planning for the future.

Been in Pattaya all week and not online. Had a good trip. Condo through Airbnb was perfect. Good location just a short walk from the beach. Condo itself was nicely furnished and very comfortable. Quite nice and would definitely rent again if we ever returned to Pattaya. First night in town we went to Dick’s for dinner and were both disappointed with the food and service. Cam ordered Pad Thai with Shrimp and after there first couple of bites said it was the worst he had ever eaten in Thailand. I ordered Cashew Chicken. The chicken appeared to be frozen, breaded nuggets that had been fried several days before and were rock hard. I could barely chew them. Neither one of us finished our meal. I had ordered a pineapple juice but was given plain apple juice. The restaurant was not busy at all…only two other tables with parties of two were in the entire restaurant. Our server had quite the attitude…and not in a good way. We both walked away agreeing it was a place we would never go back. Walked around the complex, but this was a Monday evening around 9:30pm so not surprised it was dead. Also need to consider the fact it is low season. Far more bar workers than customers. I don’t think we even saw 50 customer in total from all of the establishments. Rather depressing, actually. Basically spent our time sleeping late, grabbing a late breakfast, lounging on the beach and swimming most afternoons, rented a jet ski a couple of times, and would go out for dinner. Other than our first night in Pattaya, we avoided any of the clubs. We had a wonderful day on Koh Larn with forum member @bkkmfj2648. His condo is in the next building over from where we were staying, so we met at the entrance to the parking lot and took Bolt together to the ferry, then ferry to the island. On the island we rented motorbikes and traveled to the other side to a more remote and quiet beach. Was a very nice, relaxing day with amazing views, beautiful beach, and great company. Glad we were in Pattaya and able to avoid the hoopla in Bangkok around Gay Pride. Pride is later in Pattaya, so we were able to avoid it there as well. Several forum members are actually in Bangkok for Pride and invited us to join them for the festivities but our preference was to avoid pride stuff. I will say I was surprised by the number of Caucasians in Pattaya compared to Bangkok. I was also surprised by the number of Russians we encountered in the Jomtien Beach area. I wasn’t expecting to see quite so many straight bars…far more than restaurants…with hostesses entertaining many Caucasian gentlemen…so close to Walking Street in the complex. Then again, I obviously have not spent much time in Pattaya so it is basically unfamiliar territory to me. Cam has only been a couple of times, and was never in the complex before. Everything was relatively new to him, too. While I want to be careful and not jinx things, for now I will just say things are going well between us. The end of May is here and there have been no major issues or concerns. First week was a bit of a struggle with me trying to adjust to the time difference from Denver and Cam trying to adjust his hours away from the bar lifestyle of sleeping all day, working nights and then hanging out with his friends after the bar closes…because all of them work in the bars. We have basically stayed away from Silom and the bars. We are planning to meet up with two of his friends to play snooker…but that is away from Silom and these are not his bar friends. Been having discussions about life in Cambodia in general and the beginnings of some concrete plans for the future. Learned that Siem Reap is actually two hours drive from his home, and the family home is not located on the land they farm. The farm is about midway between Siem Reap and his hometown. Also learned that Battambang is closer to his family, and is a fairly large city. I believe it is the third largest city in Cambodia with a population of around 200,000. It is only about 60 minutes from his home. When his parents need to see a doctor or go to the hospital for any reason, they go to Battambang, not Siem Reap. So, we have been looking for possible places to live in both locations. More specifics to come in a later installment.

He will help his father on the family farm, and wants to expand that beyond rice and sesame seeds to raise goats and turtles. He also plans to work construction with his brother. He has done a fair amount of research about raising turtles and showed me what is involved. Compared to other things, it isn't too expensive or complicated. I know a little about goats and can help with that. For years I took my students to a goat farm once a week to work as vocational training and learned a considerable amount of what is involved. His oldest sister and her husband have a shop...small market; his middle sister has a food cart; the youngest sister is a seamstress. He has helped them all over the years so can certainly be kept busy.

Since his parents believe the money he sends home comes from a construction or food service job, I don't believe sugar daddy or customer would even remotely enter any conversation. There is also no directly link to me in regards to any money he has sent home. I do understand the need to keep things on a somewhat level playing field in regards to his family. I don't believe it is any concern initially, but that could always change.

This definitely appears to be the case based upon conversations he has had with his mother about me and about us living together in Siem Reap. I was also in a 10-year relationship with someone from Taiwan. We even lived in Taiwan for a year. I understand the need to be respectful and discreet. That was many years ago, but I remember well the need to be very 'strategic', as you put it.

Had an interesting, serious conversation with Cam today that was totally unexpected at this time while our relationship is developing. However, opportunity presented itself in an unusual way and I wanted to take advantage of the situation. Cam has a friend from his hometown in Cambodia who now lives and works in Sydney, Australia. He is legally married to his husband. He and Cam are fairly close friends and keep in touch. They were chatting online and it was rather late in Bangkok, so I knew Sydney was three hours later and it was wee hours of the morning there. As we were going to bed, I just casually asked him what his friends husband thought about the chatting taking place in the middle of the night. He proceeded to explain that both of them have their own homes. Even though they are married, they literally do not live together on a full time basis. They do things together as a couple, but do not sleep together every night. He said even when they travel they often book separate hotel rooms. They have been together for a number of years now. My general comment was I thought that was a strange relationship for a married couple. It seems more like a new relationship at the beginning stages of dating before they decide to move in together. Anyway, that allowed me to open that proverbial can of worms about what our life together might look like in Siem Reap. As it turns out, we are both on the same page as to what we want and what our expectations are. Regarding his friend, he said every person and every relationship is different and the parties involved need to determine what it is they want and what works best for them. I agree with that, and stated very clearly that the type of relationship his friend has is not what I am looking for and I would not move halfway around the world for that. I said while he may get together with friends and family that sometimes includes me and sometimes doesn’t, and I will hopefully meet some new friends to hang out with that may include him sometimes, I was not going to be sitting alone in an apartment in Siem Reap waiting for him to make time to visit me for a few hours each week. My expectations are we look for apartments together, we primarily live together and we are sleeping together every night. His friends/family would be on the receiving end of occasional visits each week for a few hours. Fortunately, both of our expectations regarding this are in sync. While he wants to build his parents the new house along with his siblings, he has no desire to live with his parents. The new house will only have two bedrooms…one for the parents and the other for any of the 14 grandchildren that spend the night. It was a really good conversation and sharing of ideas. This was definitely an area of concern for me, and I am very much relieved and more optimistic that we are headed in the right direction. We’ve even been sharing family photos from our childhood. Of course, given the age difference, many of my old photos are in black and white and taken with a 35mm camera. All of his photos are in color and taken with a phone. lol. He also shared during the conversation that he has told his mother about me, and his plan to live with me in Siem Reap. At least according to him, she has been very accepting of this and has not expressed any concerns. I do not believe he has used the word ‘partner’ or ‘boyfriend’ when explaining the relationship, but more likely used ’special friend’ or ‘dear friend’. This has been mentioned by some forum members as a good work around. His mother is anxious to meet me and has even invited me to stay with them my first few nights in Cambodia until we can find a place in Siem Reap. Cam is close to both parents, but more so his mother. No idea if any conversation has taken place between his mother and father regarding me or the special friendship. Cam tends to only share such things with his mother and one sister he is especially close to. As for being seen as a walking Western ATM, the only money I have ever given Cam was the agreed upon amount on my previous trip where we spent an entire week together. I assume most of that money went home to his family, but sure that my name was not attached to it in any way since his parents are not even aware of how he earns the money he sends home. As I stated in a previous post, they are under the impression he is still working construction or food service. That isn’t to say in the future it is a potential problem, but as of now is not a concern. Briefly talked about the need to bring gifts for family members. He said parents, siblings and their spouses, and grandchildren were enough. No need to include extended family. He also suggested waiting until I am in Siem Reap and we can go shopping there together to purchase for the family rather than bringing things from the US. He thought it was too many people and too much ‘stuff’ I would need to travel with, and they would be happy with anything. Not sure I feel quite right about waiting to purchase in Siem Reap, but will ultimately defer to him.

Well, I did manage to avoid Songkran, which I had no desire to experience. Perhaps because of my age, but hearing @Enchanted_Elixir describe what it was like while attempting to roam the streets of Silom only reinforced my desire to avoid those festivities. Unfortunately, it seems I will be present for Pride celebrations in June. Please do not misunderstand that statement…I am supportive of LGBTQ+ rights and am proud to be an out gay man. I only say ‘unfortunately’ because over the years I have participated in literally hundreds of pride events all over the US, from March on Washington two times to annual festivals in most major US cities including New York, Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles, Houston, San Diego, etc. I have been a member of organizing committees and always played an active role within the gay community wherever I lived. My mantra these days is more about…been there, done that. Not knowing what Cam’s level of participation in Pride has been, I will most likely defer to him. If he wants to join in the festivities, then we will. If he wants to escape the city during those few days, I am perfectly okay with that as well. Been going back and reading old posts in the Gay Cambodia section to see what information I can glean. That section doesn’t seem to be nearly as active as Gay Thailand, so there are not many current posts. Still some solid and valuable information. Cam’s family lives very close to Siem Reap, so he feels it would be better for me if we lived in the city. He can commute easily by motorbike to the family farm. I want to educate myself as much as possible about Cambodian history, culture, gay life in addition to the traditions of Cam and his family. At the moment, my biggest concern is how I will be received by his family. One of the interesting things I have learned about Cam during this visit is he actually has two sets of Cambodian friends in Bangkok. One group of friends also work in the bars and they have been unable to make the necessary visa runs since the border conflict began. These are the friends he goes with after work to grab a bite to eat or they go drinking. I think there are five friends in this group. Prior to Bangkok, he only knew one of these five back in Cambodia. His other group of friends either have jobs in construction or some type of service industry. They all have current visas. There are four or five in this group and they all knew each other back in Cambodia. They come from the same general area. This second group does not know about his job in the bar. They are under the impression he still works construction or food service. When they get together, it is usually away from Silom. They enjoy a meal together or will play pool somewhere that requires him to take MRT. He is concerned that if anyone in this second group of friends were to find out…word would quickly get back to Cambodia and possibly his family. His family is under the impression the money he sends home comes from his construction or food service job. Really not all that different from me and my friends who were closeted for years and led double lives. Cam doesn’t think his parents would have a problem with him being gay or bisexual. They would not be happy with the actual job and the way he is earning the money. For my part, I am more concerned what they are going to think about him living with a man more than twice his age...even older than his parents. Been researching the retirement visa available in Cambodia and from what I have read it seems relatively easy to get and to renew annually. Would certainly appreciate any information forum members can provide who have visited Cambodia before, or perhaps have considered retiring there. Interested in what medical care is like. Need to focus on the Siem Reap area.

The information provided above by @daydreamer is correct according to what the immigration officer recommended for me to do on future visits when I entered the kingdom in early May, as the 60 day visa on entry is definitely being reduced to 30 days. The only question at the present time is when the new 30-day rule takes effect. The immigration officer was unsure, but believed it will be around July 1.

Airline Info: Wanted to share that for this trip I booked travel with StarLux Airlines. It is a luxury, premium Taiwanese airline. I think they were founded around 2018 by someone who used to be with Eva Airlines. Their prices from the US are fairly competitive. It was recommended to me by a friend who lives in San Francisco and has flown with them a number of times now to Asia. I would also add my recommendation. Service was outstanding, food was better than most, and truly felt spoiled and pampered in business class. Very comfortable and will definitely fly with them again. This trip was SFO to Taipei (11 hours), 3 hour layover, then Taipei to Bangkok (4 hours). All Airbus fleet...mostly A350's on long hauls. As I did on my last few trips, timed my arrival in Bangkok for noon, then made sure I stayed up and active the rest of the day until a somewhat regular bedtime. No jet lag the next day. Immigration News: No line whatsoever at section for Seniors and Disabled Persons. Walked right up to the first available officer. No real problems and received 60 day visa. However, he noticed my other recent trips and provided me with some friendly advice...not a warning. He explained that the government was in the process of reducing the 60 day visa to a 30 day visa and it would probably happen soon. If, on any future trips I was thinking of staying longer than 30 days I might want to consider applying for a different type of visa. So, it sounds as if the 30 day tourist visa is a done deal with only the target date to be announced. If things go well with me and Cam this trip, that won't be a concern for us anyway. When I return to Denver the end of July, Cam will be returning to his hometown in Cambodia at the same time. My next trip will be to Siem Reap, so any visit to Bangkok will simply be a layover between the two cities. I won't even need a visa for that.

A belated Happy Birthday, Jason! Well, as I said, we are keeping a low profile and avoiding Silom area in general. No need to be around there since we are not participating in any of the extra-curricular activities. Did not realize it was pride in Bangkok. That will be something to discuss with Cam to see if he is interested in checking out the parade or other events. Have my doubts, but open to the possibility if he is interested.

Greetings, All! This will come as no surprise to some of you, and others may be shocked. Currently back in Bangkok and planning to be here for approximately three months. That will all depend on if my request for a 30-day visa extension is approved the end of June after the initial 60-days. I made the decision for several reasons. First, since I am retired and have no real commitments or obligations to keep me in Denver other than family, I decided there is no reason to wait until November. In addition, it is low season so not nearly as many tourists. When checking airfares, I actually found better prices now versus later in the year due to the ongoing conflict in the Middle East. Since there seems to be no end in sight and jet fuel prices are skyrocketing, airfares listed for the fall are astronomical. Of course, the single most important reason is I missed Cam and really wanted to spend some long term quality time with him. We were both anxious to spend time together sooner rather than later. We have been texting multiple times each day ever since I returned to Denver, and video call at least once a day, if not more. There was really no strong, compelling reason to wait until late in 2026. My posts will not be as often as my previous trips to Thailand, nor as detailed. Only a few select friends, immediate family, and one or two forum members know of my location. I have zero plans to see my Thai friends. There will be no visits to massage shops; no contact via Line with regulars I saw previously…including Paradise guy. I doubt we will visit any of the bars and will probably avoid Silom as much as possible. Cam made the necessary arrangements with the bar to be off during my entire visit. Thanks to forum members for setting me straight about off fees for something long term, no money was provided to Hotmale. lol. However, I did give Mamasan a nice tip to offer our thanks for his support of Cam. After I returned to Denver, Cam made the decision on his own without any prompting from me to discuss with Mamasan that he no longer wanted to go with customers for off’s, but would only go for drinks. He explained that we were together now and that he would be returning to Cambodia after my visit and I would most likely be joining him there. Mamasan agreed to that request. It only presented a problem with one customer, which speaks more about the customer’s character than anything about Cam. Customer knew from Mamasan that Cam would only go with him for a drink…nothing more. After one hour of drinking, customer decided he wanted more from Cam. Cam said ‘no’, and politely told the man he was leaving. Man would not even give Cam any money after he spent one hour with him for drinks. Cam didn’t care about the money, and left to go back to his room. So, I felt a generous tip was in order for Mamasan since he was so supportive of Cam’s decision. This trip is all about spending quality time together and getting to know each other better. We are staying in an Airbnb away from the Silom area for the duration of the trip. We have some side trips planned as well, including a trip to Pattaya and Chiang Mai for a few days. Cam has been to Pattaya one time, but really enjoys the beach so we definitely want to go there. He has never been to Chiang Mai, so that will be a new adventure. Keeping in mind Cam’s status, all of our accommodations are through Airbnb and all of our travel is via private car service. We may even do a little exploring around Bangkok and visit Ayutthaya. Cam has never really ventured outside of Silom very much and experienced other parts of the city. Again, please do not expect daily updates as I have done on my previous trips. This visit is totally different from past experiences.