jimmie50

+1

I believe this may partially be the case. I have had two long term relationships, one of which was for ten years with a man from Taiwan. Eventually we lived together in both the US and in Taiwan, but it initially started as a long distance relationship. I am currently in a 'situation' with a Cambodian man who lives in Thailand. Again, this is a long distance arrangement. I also have long time Thai friends. While any relationship requires communication and trust to be successful and long lasting, my experiences have taught me that I cannot expect them to communicate in the exact same manner I am accustomed to or would expect if they were white American men. If that is your expectation, you are in for a rough road ahead. There is a big cultural difference, not to mention the language barrier. Not sure where you are from or your nationality. Unless your guy is fluent in your native language, you both are probably using a translation app on the phone or computer. Unfortunately, these are not always completely accurate and the meaning gets garbled or lost completely. I check, double-check and triple-check everything I send in a message to be sure. I can translate one sentence three times on the same app and it will come out different all three times. I believe you are over-thinking the romance piece. You didn't say what your guy does for work? You also didn't mention how you met. Those pieces of the puzzle might help us respond better to the cheating question. Bottom line...all relationships require communication and trust. Long distance even more so.

Others have said it looks like Jon Stewart. Either way, just one more indication that the man is completely unhinged.

I honestly don't recall how I felt. I was probably 9 years old and the information was told to me by a classmate at school. I do recall asking my parents about it that day after school. I believe I was threatened with a good paddling if I dared to tell my sister, who is three years younger. I don't recall when or how she actually found out Santa wasn't real, but do know it did not come from me.

I might add here that if he does not have proper documents for working in Thailand, it can get pretty complicated for someone to receive money. If you go the bank route, you would need his account information for the bank in Laos. That would be a wire transfer which takes time for him to actually receive the money. Depending on his bank, he might not be able to access the money from Thailand. If he is in Bangkok and you send the money via Western Union, without proper documentation he will not be able to pick up the money from WU. If you send it via WU to Laos and he is in Bangkok, again...he won't be able to pick it up. Sending money to the guys working in the clubs in Thailand who are from Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Myanmar, etc. and are considered illegals gets very, very complicated. Your heart is in the right place, but what you wish to do is not easy.

I am not sure if that would trigger a reset on a 30-day VOA, especially if a 30-day extension is available. A reset is possible on the METV. A short trip to a neighboring country after 60 days will get you a reset of 60 days when returning to Thailand. Between resets and extensions, I think it is possible to stay in Thailand for something like 9 months.

Truer words have not been spoken. He surrounds himself, not with experienced experts, but those who will always agree with him and pledge their loyalty...not to the country but to him personally. Even then, he isn't interested in their opinions or advice. The decision to enter into this joint venture with Israel was impulsive without any thought given to possible longterm ramifications. He has created the mess, but has no clue how to get out of it now.

Very disappointing that society as a whole has primarily become a 'cancel culture'. Why has this just now become an issue when he has previously run for office and been elected? Why were these allegations not raised when he was running for Congress or reelection to Congress. I hate this whole cancel culture way of thinking in the first place, but am highly suspicious of the timing of these accusations.

Any updates on this possible change? I understand the new government was approved by the King and sworn in to office very recently. It was stated that among their top ten priorities was changing immigration laws. If reduced to 30 days, how difficult is it to get the 30-day extension? Tracking airfares for my return to Bangkok, but unsure as to whether I should book a flight for 60 or 90 days. If it remains the current 60 days through most of 2026 with the possibility of a 30-day extension I will book a 90-day return ticket. If it is reduced to 30 days, I will just book 60 days, but purchase fully refundable ticket that I can change if necessary. I also plan on pursuing the METV, but am wanting to keep all of my options open. At present I am not considering a retirement visa in Thailand because long term would be retirement in Cambodia...which I need to investigate. One step at a time. lol.

Sounds familiar...my recent experience with Cam. Perfectly content. Happy you have someone like that. Those holidays will definitely mess up your planning. If it's the right person, settling down isn't that difficult.

2023??? Just a little behind time, aren't we?!? lol.

He has a Cambodian passport which also includes the appropriate Thai work visa from when he first entered Thailand. Since he hasn't been able to make a visa run, I don't know that the passport would do much good other than to possibly raise questions. I really don't know all the particulars around the issue. And when I say 'old ID', I think from Cam said is that as people age the Cambodian government doesn't necessarily update the photo or issue new ID's every so many years. So the photo on his ID is quite old and doesn't really look like his appearance today.

I am taking it all in and appreciate what everyone has shared. The different suggestions and perspectives sometimes help me to see things more clearly, and sometimes muddies the waters, so to speak...but I am very appreciative of them all. I am the novice here. Many forum members are far more experienced in situations similar to mine.

Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing it. What you say is very true regarding it is all very transactional and based around money to date. I readily admit at this stage it is an infatuation or obsession vs. true love. I suppose in a perfect world I would imagine it to become more about love and less about money. Realistic? Probably not.

Until this discussion, I didn't think about legal vs. illegal ramifications that might impact me directly. Definitely food for thought. I am well aware from what I have seen first hand in Jomtien and heard from those directly affected by police shakedowns in Bangkok that the key seems to be financial gain for the police. We have probably all heard or read stories about how corrupt the police are. The question that comes to mind in this situation...how would the police know that I was aware Cam's current status was illegal or overstayed...whichever the case may be. And yes, when he came to Thailand he was legal with appropriate visa. He has not returned to Cambodia for fear that he would not be able to get back into Thailand and continue working until they have enough money for the new house. So I am not sure if that classifies him as an 'illegal' or in the 'overstayed' category. Regardless, how would the police be able to prove that I was aware of his status? I suppose there are any number of ways they could create a 'just cause' for holding me. If not harboring an illegal or fugitive, then perhaps hiring a prostitute. Interesting points to consider for sure.

OK, would someone please explain to me about the Bangkok Hilton? I'm confused.

This was my thinking as well, which is why I assumed I would need to pay an off fee to the bar for the duration. But it seems like such an arrangement is possible according to other forum members. And, of course, this would have to be something Cam agreed to as well. Perhaps it is an understanding between the two parties and the bar is not privy to that information. The bar boy is polite but discreetly declines any off invitation. I would be very upset to learn that Hotmale, or any of the bars for that matter had a quota system for the boys regarding a certain number of offs. Just the idea of that pisses me off! (excuse my language)

I'm sorry if this sounds foolish or stupid...but how would I get the Visa card to him? I am guessing this would be something I purchase in the states and then would mail to him? Not sure about the mailing of the card or how exactly to get it to him.

Was re-reading this entire thread and came across your post. Somehow it didn't register with me when I originally read it. At least according to Cam, his family is under the impression that his job is in construction. It was originally when he first arrived in Bangkok, and had proper documentation. He said they are not aware of where he works now or what type of work it is. If this is actually true, I doubt he would mention 'the foreigner' to them so probably no nagging for money.

OMG. Really? I had no idea I could be charged like that. Thanks for the warning. I am planning to rent Airbnb this time. I don't want to see if the condo is available because I don't want my friends to know I am actually back in Bangkok. I don't want to spend 3 months in a hotel, either. Regardless of Bangkok, Pattaya, or some other location...it will definitely be Airbnb or similar type arrangement. I am aware of the situation in Pattaya, especially for the illegal guys working in the massage shops. Firsthand experience with that. I am also aware of a couple of the bar guys who are illegal getting the 'shake down' from Bangkok police. Walking down the street during the daytime where Foodland is located, stopped, and threatened with arrest and deportation unless they gave the police all of their money. Wanted 10,000 Baht from each one, but they neither had that much. One guy had 7000 and the other 4000. Police took their money. That happened during my seven week stay, so recent police activity seems to be targeting illegals.

While most of my experiences have been very positive, I have reported on a few that were not as pleasurable. I certainly did not enjoy Phoenix or Magic Touch. I can't say whether they see me as a 'mark' or easy target. Having worked with the moderate to severe special needs students for 30+ years, my philosophy has always been to treat everyone with dignity and respect. This is how I treat the guys I go to for massage and that I might invite to join me from the bars. If that makes me a target or mark, then so be it. I am not going to change who I am. That does not mean that I am going to believe everything that I might be told...hook, line and sinker. I am guarded about believing everything I hear. And yes, I am less so with Cam. I have just sort of throw caution to the wind with him. I didn't go to Thailand to find love. Been there, done that. Twice now. I simply went to experience and explore the gay scene and have a good time. Love was the last thing on my mind. Is it love with Cam...it certainly is an infatuation. I will acknowledge that. But there is a big difference between infatuation and love. Love is something that grows deeper over time as two individuals get to know each other. One week is hardly time for the love to develop and grow deeper. This is why I want to return and spend the longer period of time with Cam...to see if it does develop into a more serious and deeper connection. I certainly don't think your comments are harsh or mean and did not take them as such. I appreciate all of the feedback from forum members. Hearing different points of view and perspectives is what I need right now. Let's be honest...rent boy or prostitute...correct terms for the guys. But what about us...john, trick, punter, whoremonger...are also correct terms. It is what it is. I know where I met him, how I met him, what he does and what I do. That doesn't change the fact that I have feelings for him. By sharing here I am trying to sort out those feelings so I don't fall off the cliff. This forum is my therapy, my sounding board, my sanity.

As has been pointed out...Cam and I have really only spent maybe a total of 12 days together between my trip last October and the most recent trip. I do have a sense that he is somewhat honest. I really had not considered the sponsorship seriously, and didn't realize part of the negotiations for this type of arrangement could include limits on what they can do with other customers. I guess in the back of my mind I didn't think the bars would be ok with guys making such arrangements as it might impact their business. Perhaps I just overthink these things too much. If Cam were to agree to just drinks with customers...no off's...if I were to provide a monthly stipend...I might be open to such an arrangement. Trust would be the key factor, as you have pointed out...and we haven't really spent enough time together for me to know. While I want to say 'yes, I trust him completely' and go full speed ahead, I don't think we have spent enough time together to develop that level of trust. Hopefully, after spending three months together I will have a better feel for that. The guy in Pattaya with four sponsors sounds like my ex. Why we are no longer together. Seems during his travels for work he had something going on the side in 4 different cities...juggled five of us with nobody knowing about the others until it finally caught up with him. Once the proverbial cat was out of the bag, that was the end of the relationship for me as we were supposedly monogamous. What I do know is this...while I have met a number of nice guys and had some great fun...the only one that I think is honest and that I could trust is Cam. As far as the others go, I only believe 1/10th of what they have told me and know the minute I walk out the door they are on to bigger and better things. The next trick is just around the corner...so to speak.

The young man I met back in October who works for K-bank and was asking for a minimum of $500 USD monthly salary was easy to walk away from and laugh at such a request. Interesting that you mention providing him with a tip for long distance work. I hadn't really considered that as work, but I suppose from his perspective he may just consider it part of the job. No idea about that. He does text regularly, we have had a couple of video calls, and a couple of serious discussions. These do make me happy...interesting point you make. I don't plan to offer any assistance, and some of the financial stuff is just me doing stuff independently without his involvement or knowledge so that if and when a request does come up, I can decide then if I am willing to help and I will have a general idea of how much and how I can get it to him. You can probably tell I am an A-type person. I am also a curious person by nature, so some things I am aware of because I asked general questions when we were together. That is how I know he doesn't have a Thai bank account. Why he didn't get one when he was in Thailand legally...not a clue. Didn't ask him, and he didn't offer an explanation. I would venture to say he probably regrets that now.

I know...I'm all over the place on this at the moment. Hopefully things will settle down and I will develop a clearer picture of things. Appreciate your comments very much.

I have another general question about my situation for members... Assuming the 60-day stay remains in place by the time I return to Bangkok in the fall, but my plan is to apply for the 30 day extension so I can stay a total of 90 days, should I purchase my airline ticket with return to US after 60 days or 90 days? I have been looking at 90 day return flights, but don't want to raise any questions or have problems on arrival in Bangkok with immigration. I won't be able to apply for the 30 day extension until the 60 day entry is almost up. Plus there is no guarantee it will be granted. Recommendations?