Love Interest 2026 Update

[floridarob]

10 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

He has helped them all over the years so can certainly be kept busy.  

Nice, sounds like he won't be one of the lazy ones that expects you to support him, I like that.

The downside, when he's busy, those workdays are longer than we're used to..... less time you will see him, and as you (we) get older, time is the one thing we have less of 🥺

[zoomomancs]

11 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

He will help his father on the family farm, and wants to expand that beyond rice and sesame seeds to raise goats and turtles.  He also plans to work construction with his brother.  He has done a fair amount of research about raising turtles and showed me what is involved.  Compared to other things, it isn't too expensive or complicated.  I know a little about goats and can help with that.  For years I took my students to a goat farm once a week to work as vocational training and learned a considerable amount of what is involved.  His oldest sister and her husband have a shop...small market; his middle sister has a food cart; the youngest sister is a seamstress.  He has helped them all over the years so can certainly be kept busy.  

I hope it's different for you but when I have had 'relationships' with men in Asia over the last 16 years the requests for cash help start arriving, some from them and some from their families. You have mentioned the hopes for a new house for the family and expanding the family farm to raise goats and turtles. Filial piety is strong in Cambodia. Then there are emergencies, like urgent medical reasons and crashed motorbikes. Our urge to help when we see people in need is noble - but every step we make can advertise how wealthy we seem in their eyes. I once asked a Vietnamese lad, who I sent modest amounts of cash to, if his father knew who I was. He replied: 'He knows who you are when you send Western Union'.  

[a-447]

On 5/22/2026 at 5:34 PM, jimmie50 said:

Since his parents believe the money he sends home comes from a construction or food service job, I don't believe sugar daddy or customer would even remotely enter any conversation.  There is also no directly link to me in regards to any money he has sent home.  I do understand the need to keep things on a somewhat level playing field in regards to his family.  I don't believe it is any concern initially, but that could always change.  

The parents aren't stupid.

They would soon realise that the amount of money he sends home each month couldn't possibly be from the earnings of a lowly-paid construction worker. They would be well aware of the kind of business their kids are in when they go to work in Thailand and start sending cash home. They would be well aware that  you guys didn't meet on a construction site. It's the old 'don't ask and don't tell'.

A number of Thai guys over the years have told me that everyone knows that the best house in the village has been paid for by the old farang partner of a young local. But noone cares as long as the money and gifts keep rolling in.

If you can afford it, go for it. Do whatever you want to be happy.

YOLO.

 

[PeterRS]

54 minutes ago, a-447 said:

If you can afford it, go for it. Do whatever you want to be happy.

As we approach old age, personal happiness becomes more difficult to find - as some posters here have suggested, especially those with perhaps some personal experience of a happiness they never thought possible in the early days before it started to decrease over time as reality set in.

But we are all different, thankfully. I'm with @a-447. You have shown us all a remarkable willingness to share your thoughts and feelings, most quite new to you. Bravo for that! I'll add my own "go for it". Then adapt as may eventually seem necessary. But true happiness is never easy to find and you seem as close as anyone to be in that situation.

[Marc308]

Of course we all wish you and Cam the best! As I said in my original post, you are about to embark/have already embarked on a great adventure, perhaps the greatest adventure of your life. I have some points of reflection:

1. What ended your relationship in Taiwan? Taiwan is far more developed an economy than Thailand. Are you sure you are prepared for the simpler life of (rural) Siem Reap?

2. How is your Khmer language? You talk of indepth discussions with Cam, but is this realistic? He speaks good Englisih? You speak good Khmer? (I presume neither is the case.) If so, this is going to make serious discussions more difficult (even with Google translate, which doesn't do a good job of translating subtle expressions). 

3. Peter mentioned having a Plan B if (God forbid) things go south. This is wise in all relationship situations, even more so in those that are fraught with cultural differences.

4. Is Cam suited for construction work? Since he didn't tell his parents the truth about his occupation in Thailand, it might be difficult for him to get/sustain a job in construction in his home country which construction practices seem even more perilous and primitive than in Thailand.

Bottom line is we all want you to succeed and are rooting for you, but you need to know, and be sober about, the uphill battles you will need to climb. Lord knows that ALL relationships are difficult. Lord knows that gay relationship are even more difficult to sustain. (On that point, I don't worry so much about how the family reacts to you, but rather how the gossipers in his community react to you. 

If you are strong, and if your love is even stronger, you will be able to move confidently ahead in BLISS. 

Chok dee krub!
Marc

 

[jimmie50]

Been in Pattaya all week and not online.  Had a good trip.  Condo through Airbnb was perfect.  Good location just a short walk from the beach.  Condo itself was nicely furnished and very comfortable.  Quite nice and would definitely rent again if we ever returned to Pattaya.  First night in town we went to Dick’s for dinner and were both disappointed with the food and service.  Cam ordered Pad Thai with Shrimp and after there first couple of bites said it was the worst he had ever eaten in Thailand.  I ordered Cashew Chicken.  The chicken appeared to be frozen, breaded nuggets that had been fried several days before and were rock hard.  I could barely chew them.  Neither one of us finished our meal.  I had ordered a pineapple juice but was given plain apple juice.  The restaurant was not busy at all…only two other tables with parties of two were in the entire restaurant.  Our server had quite the attitude…and not in a good way.  We both walked away agreeing it was a place we would never go back.  Walked around the complex, but this was a Monday evening around 9:30pm so not surprised it was dead.  Also need to consider the fact it is low season.  Far more bar workers than customers.  I don’t think we even saw 50 customer in total from all of the establishments.  Rather depressing, actually.  Basically spent our time sleeping late, grabbing a late breakfast, lounging on the beach and swimming most afternoons, rented a jet ski a couple of times, and would go out for dinner.  Other than our first night in Pattaya, we avoided any of the clubs.  We had a wonderful day on Koh Larn with forum member @bkkmfj2648.  His condo is in the next building over from where we were staying, so we met at the entrance to the parking lot and took Bolt together to the ferry, then ferry to the island.  On the island we rented motorbikes and traveled to the other side to a more remote and quiet beach.  Was a very nice, relaxing day with amazing views, beautiful beach, and great company.  Glad we were in Pattaya and able to avoid the hoopla in Bangkok around Gay Pride.  Pride is later in Pattaya, so we were able to avoid it there as well.  Several forum members are actually in Bangkok for Pride and invited us to join them for the festivities but our preference was to avoid pride stuff.  I will say I was surprised by the number of Caucasians in Pattaya compared to Bangkok.  I was also surprised by the number of Russians we encountered in the Jomtien Beach area.  I wasn’t expecting to see quite so many straight bars…far more than restaurants…with hostesses entertaining many Caucasian gentlemen…so close to Walking Street in the complex.  Then again, I obviously have not spent much time in Pattaya so it is basically unfamiliar territory to me.  Cam has only been a couple of times, and was never in the complex before.  Everything was relatively new to him, too.

While I want to be careful and not jinx things, for now I will just say things are going well between us.  The end of May is here and there have been no major issues or concerns.  First week was a bit of a struggle with me trying to adjust to the time difference from Denver and Cam trying to adjust his hours away from the bar lifestyle of sleeping all day, working nights and then hanging out with his friends after the bar closes…because all of them work in the bars.  We have basically stayed away from Silom and the bars.  We are planning to meet up with two of his friends to play snooker…but that is away from Silom and these are not his bar friends.  Been having discussions about life in Cambodia in general and the beginnings of some concrete plans for the future.  Learned that Siem Reap is actually two hours drive from his home, and the family home is not located on the land they farm.  The farm is about midway between Siem Reap and his hometown.  Also learned that Battambang is closer to his family, and is a fairly large city.  I believe it is the third largest city in Cambodia with a population of around 200,000.  It is only about 60 minutes from his home.  When his parents need to see a doctor or go to the hospital for any reason, they go to Battambang, not Siem Reap.  So, we have been looking for possible places to live in both locations.  More specifics to come in a later installment.

[jimmie50]

On 5/25/2026 at 3:53 AM, zoomomancs said:

I hope it's different for you but when I have had 'relationships' with men in Asia over the last 16 years the requests for cash help start arriving, some from them and some from their families. You have mentioned the hopes for a new house for the family and expanding the family farm to raise goats and turtles. Filial piety is strong in Cambodia. Then there are emergencies, like urgent medical reasons and crashed motorbikes. Our urge to help when we see people in need is noble - but every step we make can advertise how wealthy we seem in their eyes. I once asked a Vietnamese lad, who I sent modest amounts of cash to, if his father knew who I was. He replied: 'He knows who you are when you send Western Union'.  

While I do not claim to have all of the answers, what I know is this.  First I need to establish with forum members that other than paying Cam for the time he spent with me in March/April of this year, he has never requested nor have I sent him any money.  All five siblings plus parents have been contributing to a ‘new house fund’ for the last 4-5 years and they have managed to accumulate as of this moment $7000 USD.  The new house is estimated to cost approximately $12,000 USD because they plan to do all of the labor themselves (family and friends).  They only need to buy materials.  I am sure there will be some incidentals that come up during construction that either are unexpected or they simply didn’t think about it.  That happens with most projects.  Time will tell on that.  They hope to start construction in December and estimate it will take around 2-3 months to complete with 7 or 8 persons doing the bulk of the work (father, brother, 3 brothers-in-law, 2 cousins, and Cam).  But, back to your questions…money I gave him in March/April that went towards the new house did not have me attached to it in any way.  He simply told his parents it was money he earned from his job.  At least for the present time I have been able to avoid any requests for assistance.  Cam has never asked for himself or his family.  Adding goats and turtles to the farm is just a long term goal of Cam’s.  It isn’t something that needs to be done right away.  He believes that raising turtles will be easier to get started since they already have a pond on the farm and it won’t require a lot of expense to get set up.  Goats are more in the future.  The point is that he is looking ahead and planning for the future.

[jimmie50]

On 5/25/2026 at 10:27 AM, a-447 said:

The parents aren't stupid.

They would soon realise that the amount of money he sends home each month couldn't possibly be from the earnings of a lowly-paid construction worker. They would be well aware of the kind of business their kids are in when they go to work in Thailand and start sending cash home. They would be well aware that  you guys didn't meet on a construction site. It's the old 'don't ask and don't tell'.

A number of Thai guys over the years have told me that everyone knows that the best house in the village has been paid for by the old farang partner of a young local. But noone cares as long as the money and gifts keep rolling in.

Cam’s family has a long history of crossing the border for employment opportunities.  The first time he came to Bangkok he was 16 years old and came with both his father and brother.  They worked construction.  His mother and sisters have also crossed over to work in food service.  This was long before the current problems regarding the border closings and no visa runs possible.  They are aware of the visa situation and his lack of a current one so needing to stay under the radar, so to speak.  While it is possible they are ‘turning a blind eye’ as to his actual job, given the family history of going back and forth over time it is also possible they accept him at his word.  As has been reported on the forum many times about the overall state of affairs regarding the lack of customers in the boy bars, especially Hotmale, I don’t know that he has been able to send huge sums of money home that would raise any red flags.  After all, he does have daily living expenses and Bangkok is not a cheap place to live, even if the boys do share housing.  Cam said many nights there are no customers and they don’t even have the show at Hotmale.  He is lucky if a customer even invites him to sit for a drink most nights.  Regarding what he has told his parents about our meeting…he said I was a frequent visitor to Thailand from US and a regular customer at the restaurant where he works part time as a server when I am in Bangkok.  Beyond that, I do not know what questions they may have asked him or what else he shared around the circumstances of our meeting and the fact we are living together.  Sometimes 2+2=4; sometimes 2+2=5. lol.  Don’t ask, don’t tell may very well come into play here regarding the relationship aspect of things.

The houses on either side of Cam’s parents are both new houses, and based upon what Cam said they don’t have young locals or know any foreigners. Beyond that, I cannot comment with any accuracy about the gossip mill surrounding new homes in Cambodia.

[jimmie50]

On 5/28/2026 at 10:55 AM, Marc308 said:

1. What ended your relationship in Taiwan? Taiwan is far more developed an economy than Thailand. Are you sure you are prepared for the simpler life of (rural) Siem Reap?

2. How is your Khmer language? You talk of indepth discussions with Cam, but is this realistic? He speaks good Englisih? You speak good Khmer? (I presume neither is the case.) If so, this is going to make serious discussions more difficult (even with Google translate, which doesn't do a good job of translating subtle expressions). 

3. Peter mentioned having a Plan B if (God forbid) things go south. This is wise in all relationship situations, even more so in those that are fraught with cultural differences.

4. Is Cam suited for construction work? Since he didn't tell his parents the truth about his occupation in Thailand, it might be difficult for him to get/sustain a job in construction in his home country which construction practices seem even more perilous and primitive than in Thailand.

Bottom line is we all want you to succeed and are rooting for you, but you need to know, and be sober about, the uphill battles you will need to climb. Lord knows that ALL relationships are difficult. Lord knows that gay relationship are even more difficult to sustain. (On that point, I don't worry so much about how the family reacts to you, but rather how the gossipers in his community react to you. 

1. What ended your relationship in Taiwan?   My relationship with the Taiwanese ended after I discovered on his various business trips around the US that he was seeing multiple people for fun when we were supposed to be in a monogamous relationship.  Not only was I concerned about the cheating aspect, but also the fact he was not safe and put my health at risk.  We originally met online, then he came to the US on a work visa with a start-up company in Silicon Valley.  That company ended up folding so he lost the work visa and had to return to Taiwan.  It was during that period of time where I took a sabbatical from teaching for one year and we lived in Taipei while he attempted to find another job with a US company that would sponsor him for the work visa…possibly a green card.  During that year he was hired by IBM and assigned to their office in Fremont, CA…so back to the Bay Area we went.  He had to travel with IBM, which is when the cheating was taking place.

2. How is your Khmer language?  I had no reason up until this point in time to even consider learning Khmer.  Never been to Cambodia or even thought about visiting until I met Cam.  Just as he has taught himself to speak conversational Thai, he has picked up a fair amount of English to be able to communicate with customers in the bar.  I would say his level is around intermediate versus beginner for me and Khmer.  He is trying to teach me some basic words and phrases, and I have downloaded an app to my phone that provides daily lessons.  And yes, I rely on several translate programs available…not just Google Translate…as it is not always the most accurate.  I have also learned to copy the Khmer version, reverse translate and paste that version to translate into English so I am sure what is being communicated to him as accurate to my thoughts.  It is a work in progress for sure.

3. Peter mentioned having a Plan B.  I always have several backup plans in the works in case things don’t work out…with most things in life.

4. Is Cam suited for construction work? Cam grew up working on the family farm, which is hard work. He has showed me photos and videos.  Certainly not easy work.  He has also worked construction, both in Thailand and in Cambodia.  His brother is a builder.  When his father is not tending to the farm, he helps the oldest son with the construction business.  He has experience with laying brick and cement block, tile work, flooring, and some plumbing and electrical.  A job with his brother is there for him whenever he wants it.

As you said, ALL relationships are difficult and require work on the part of everyone involved.  Only time will tell if things are going to work out.  Probably not for the faint of heart…but I am ready to give it the old college try.  lol.  At my age, what do I have to lose.  Why not enjoy whatever years I have left.

[hank75]

17 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

  On the island we rented motorbikes and traveled to the other side to a more remote and quiet beach.  Was a very nice, relaxing day with amazing views, beautiful beach, and great company. 

Good to hear you and Cam are living life to the fullest. I believe Cambodia has wonderful beaches too such as Koh Rong and Otres near Sihanoukville. 

21 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

So, we have been looking for possible places to live in both locations.  More specifics to come in a later installment.

I would advocate for Siem Reap as it would be easier landing for you as a foreigner compared to Battambang. At least spend the initial month or two there first to acclimate. Also having time to explore the city and Angkor Wat instead of being on a rushed holiday is a luxury that cannot be overstated. 

[khaolakguy]

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

Been in Pattaya all week and not online.  Had a good trip.  Condo through Airbnb was perfect.  Good location just a short walk from the beach.  Condo itself was nicely furnished and very comfortable.  Quite nice and would definitely rent again if we ever returned to Pattaya.  First night in town we went to Dick’s for dinner and were both disappointed with the food and service.  Cam ordered Pad Thai with Shrimp and after there first couple of bites said it was the worst he had ever eaten in Thailand.  I ordered Cashew Chicken.  The chicken appeared to be frozen, breaded nuggets that had been fried several days before and were rock hard.  I could barely chew them.  Neither one of us finished our meal.  I had ordered a pineapple juice but was given plain apple juice.  The restaurant was not busy at all…only two other tables with parties of two were in the entire restaurant.  Our server had quite the attitude…and not in a good way.  We both walked away agreeing it was a place we would never go back.  Walked around the complex, but this was a Monday evening around 9:30pm so not surprised it was dead.  

Several other posters, including me, have reported the same experience here and won't be returning either.

[bkkmfj2648]

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

We had a wonderful day on Koh Larn with forum member @bkkmfj2648.  

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

On the island we rented motorbikes and traveled to the other side to a more remote and quiet beach.  Was a very nice, relaxing day with amazing views, beautiful beach, and great company

Dear @jimmie50, it was a great pleasure and honor to have been able to meet both you and Cam for our lovely day over on Koh Larn.  Cam is truly adorable and ever so manly.  I loved the way that Cam would surprise you (by touching you with cold ice) to get your attention (because I was always chewing your ear off).  What I really like about Cam is that he does not overdo the social media stuff and he truly tries to stay in the realm of real life and connected to you.  I was very impressed and a bit envious - as it is very rare with today's youth to find someone who does enjoy the real life outside of social media postings.  I also see that you are very happy and pleased with Cam and I have a good feeling for your eventual new life over in Cambodia.  Remember what I said, after you guys are settled in your new place - after 6 months or so, expect a visit from me  :>))

 

 

[jimmie50]

Had an interesting evening with Cam and his Cambodian friends he meets to play snooker.  The more time we spend together the more I am learning about his past experiences.  His first time coming to Thailand to work was when he was 16.  At that time he came with his father and brother.  They were working in construction.  They would come and work for a few months and then return home.  That seems to be the pattern his parents established and he has followed since coming to Bangkok on his own.  The friends we went to meet and the area where they play snooker is far from Silom and in an area of Bangkok I have never been before.  This is the area where he lived and worked construction and food service on and off for five years.  He would come and work a few months and then return home for a long period of time.  So, he knows this area very well, and many people from the area, too.  As several forum members have pointed out, while the pay may be more than he would get for a similar job in Cambodia, construction workers and waiters do not make that much money in Thailand, either…especially foreigners from Cambodia, Laos, and Myanmar.  A Cambodian friend of his from the same hometown was working at Hotmale and persuaded him to go to work at the bar.  That is how he ended up in Silom.  Cam said initially the money was better for the first few months because he was a new, fresh face, but that didn’t last long.  The bar doesn’t get many customers most days now.  Given the pattern established over the years of working a few months and then returning home, I honestly believe he would have returned home months ago if not for the issue with the closed borders and no chance of a visa at the present time.  If he goes home, he has no idea when he might be able to return again to work if it is needed.  He told me before the border problems he would work for two or three months at the most and then return home for at least six months.  In addition to working on the farm and helping his brother with the construction business, he has operated his own food cart.  I have seen photos and videos of him cooking and selling from the cart.  He is definitely a hard worker and not just someone who sits around doing the least amount of work possible just to get by.  He takes the initiative to find work or start his own business…like the food cart.

Back to his friends, though…although I have never really played pool or snooker and wasn’t even sure what the difference was between the two, they were very nice and friendly.  Of course, putting the three of them together in a social setting meant that most of their conversation was in Khmer, but since they are all in food service they had some English skills and tried to include me from time to time.  Cam was good about trying to teach me the game.  The three of us played two games, then I politely stepped aside for the third game and let them have their fun while I just watched.  It was interesting to observe their interactions.  The three of them shared two beers and I just had water.  One of them also brought some meat skewers they had purchased from a street cart to share.  Cam warned me that they were very spicy and I might want to avoid.  I will say he is always very attentive and looking out for me.  Even though he was with his friends, he was constantly checking on me to make sure I was comfortable and doing okay.  We probably spent a total of three hours together.  It was nice to actually see a place he talks about going to every so often, to learn more about his history in Thailand, and to explore an area of Bangkok that was his home base when working in the city for five or six years from age 18 until 24.

[jimmie50]

On 6/1/2026 at 3:51 PM, hank75 said:

I would advocate for Siem Reap as it would be easier landing for you as a foreigner compared to Battambang. At least spend the initial month or two there first to acclimate. Also having time to explore the city and Angkor Wat instead of being on a rushed holiday is a luxury that cannot be overstated. 

After some discussion, I think we have decided to spend the first month in Siem Reap once I arrive in Cambodia.  I will book something for us online via Airbnb.  That will give me a chance to do some exploring in Siem Reap, but we will also spend some time in Battambang looking for apartments.  Hopefully we won’t have too much difficulty.  We decided to settle in Battambang because there are fewer tourists, it is closer to Cam’s family, he is more familiar with the city, and he has several friends who live there so an already established social network.  My ‘must have’ list is relatively short…A/C is number one on the list, washer, decent kitchen, furnished, and at least a queen size bed.  Cam is easier to please, but would like some type of outdoor space…either a balcony or yard.  We are open to any type of housing…condo, apartment, house.  I suspect we may end up working with a real estate agent as Cam is not familiar with the particulars regarding rental property.

Speaking of A/C, we have been keeping the unit set in the Bangkok condo around 23 or 24.  That has been comfortable for both of us in general, but we might need to adjust that during the night when sleeping.  Cam started getting a cold yesterday and is really not feeling well today.  I can tell he feels miserable and he has been sneezing and blowing his nose a lot.  Not sure if his throat is bothering him or not, but no cough so far.  He did buy some medicine to take.  Been a bit of a learning experience for us both being around each other when one is sick.  He gets very quiet, keeps to himself, and really doesn’t want to be bothered.  I learned quickly not to ask too many questions, keep conversation to a minimum, and just let him rest quietly.

[floridarob]

On 6/1/2026 at 2:28 AM, jimmie50 said:

said it was the worst he had ever eaten in Thailand

Ditto, I mentioned that in  a post some time ago when I went there with a couple of board members, except our waiter was decent/fun.

I hadn't eaten there in about a decade prior to that, and I remembered why after the food arrived 🙄