Questions regarding upcoming Cambodian trip

[jimmie50]

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

That's an understatement,  some people forgot what a shambles Trump left the world after his 1st term, yet thought giving him a 2nd try was a smart idea.... hate and fear are strong motivators, religion has been doing it for eons.....

I realize this isn't the politics forum, but since you mentioned it here and it does specifically pertain to the increase in cost of living and expenses around the world, he gave an unhinged, rambling televised speech last night for 25 minutes.  Basically a rehash with no proof regarding the 2020 election.  Gavin Newsome, Governor of California, said it best: I just watched the ramblings of a mad king and what else can I say — the only thing missing was tin foil. Donald Trump is trying to rig our elections and we have to stop him.

[jimmie50]

18 hours ago, floridarob said:

Have you donated $$ to the new house yet ?

To be perfectly honest, if I am going to be part of the family I don't mind helping out a little bit.  I have never said that to Cam, but in the back of my mind I have thought about it.  That is definitely a 'wait and see' kind of thing.  I don't want to become a walking ATM, so I am very careful when it comes to the financial arrangements.  The brother, who is in construction, estimates the cost of the new house with family providing all of the labor will be approximately $15,000.  With all five siblings contributing over a period of almost five years they have managed to save $12,000.  However, price of materials have increased thanks to the carrot top bobble head.  That estimate is probably on the low side now.  They are actually planning to purchase some needed materials for the temporary housing tomorrow (Saturday), so I am anxious to hear from Cam about the pricing.  His brother will know if there has been a significant increase for materials.  

I was surprised nobody asked in the Gay Thailand forum in my Love Interest 2026 post about financial arrangements between me and Cam on the most recent trip.  We had no arrangements in advance other than simply wanting to spend the time together to see if this was going to lead to anything serious.  The only firm commitment going in was I would pay all of our expenses during that time...Airbnb, food, transportation, anything we did for entertainment, and even a couple of shopping trips to the mall.   I will say that Cam never asked for anything other than wanting to go play snooker with his friends a couple of times.  Even then, I was included in those activities.  When grocery shopping, he might pick out a snack or type of fruit he wanted.  He would never choose the restaurant if we were eating out.  It was always wherever I wanted to eat.  His usual response was 'I eat everything.  You are  more picky.  You decide'.  LOL.  I wanted to buy him some new clothes.  Trying to get him to pick out anything was like pulling teeth.  He finally would select one or two items, but only after I threatened to pick them out myself.  We definitely have different taste and style, so threatening to buy him an all pink outfit did the trick.  The only formal agreement other than me paying all of the expenses for both of us was that he would not work at the bar during that time.  An 'off fee' was never discussed nor asked for.  However, knowing that he was not working during those ten or eleven weeks with no income and he would have expenses for the trip home just a couple of days after I left for Denver, my plan was always to give him some money.  Since he never really asked for anything during our time together and resisted purchasing things, I wasn't sure if he would even accept my 'donation'.   I was not extravagant, but certainly wanted to be generous.  Initially he refused, but eventually we came to an agreement about him accepting and also the amount.  I am sure he only spent a small portion of that on himself and the trip home.  The remainder went into the new house fund.  So, I guess in a roundabout way I have contributed...technically.  

My perspective is perhaps a little different from others given our situation.  In my previous relationship with the Taiwanese, we had a joint bank account and shared expenses.  Our attitude was 'what is mine is yours and vice versa'.  Cam and I are beginning a long term relationship.  Therefore, my attitude is very similar to what it was with the Taiwanese boyfriend.  I wanted to make sure Cam had enough money to pay for the journey back to Cambodia.  We knew in advance that was going to be around 7000 Baht.  He also wanted to take back a few things to his family.  We actually went shopping together for those things, but that didn't amount to much.  He needed to be careful about how much he was going to be carrying on foot through the forest.  Probably the most expensive and largest item was a bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey for him to share with his father and siblings.  The arrangement for the upcoming trip to Cambodia is the same as it was in Bangkok...I will pay all of the expenses for us during that time.  Since we are entering into a relationship...family is family.  If a little help is needed for the new house, I really don't mind.  

[12is12]

57 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

was surprised nobody asked in the Gay Thailand forum in my Love Interest 2026 post about financial arrangements between me and Cam on the most recent trip.

It seems, actually - it IS, nosy and impolite to ask about financial matters in a non-commercial interaction.....

[vinapu]

41 minutes ago, 12is12 said:

It seems, actually - it IS, nosy and impolite to ask about financial matters in a non-commercial interaction.....

+1

 

[floridarob]

5 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

That is definitely a 'wait and see' kind of thing

I'm 8 yrs with my bf in Mexico, we live together and have an open relationship.... and I still tell him, "Vamos a ver"...let's see,  about so many things still, lol

He wanted a monogamous relationship when we 1st met, I told him he's searching for a pot of gold that doesn't (rarely) exists.....he also wanted to get married after 2 years and I said no, this way we don't have to get divorced, I'm pragmatic 😉

Getting over the 3 year hurdle is the key is almost any relationship gay/straight and even then that doesn't guarantee anything, I'm always surprised how many people separate after 7, 9 25, etc years..... Maybe my first rule, open relationship keeps the relationship honest?

Anyway, I'm rooting for you....you seem to have your head on straight and seem realistic about many things so far.... just be ready for when you are living together full time and the honeymoon ends.... the potholes along the way (I'm sure Auntie Vin has a better expression than that) and keep working for it, not sure of your age, but none of us are getting any younger..... I think @Olddaddy is the only one that will outlive us with all his dancing and singing 🙄

 

[jimmie50]

Here is a brief update on the construction project.  Even though they do not plan to begin actual construction on the new house until December 8 (date chosen by fortune teller), Cam has a lot to do in preparation for the main project.  They are building temporary housing for his parents on the back of the property for them to stay in during construction.  There was also a wooden fence around the entire property that was pretty much destroyed by the termites as well and needs to be replaced.  Those two things have been the main focus of Cam since his return.  They completely removed the wooden fence and will be replacing it with something a little more substantial.  Just yesterday they had building materials delivered for these two projects.  He shows me their progress with photos and video as well as video chat.  They received 200 bags of cement, a load of sand, a load of gravel, steel rods, and no idea how many brick and block.  The stack is just mind boggling to see.  In total he said the materials cost 40,000 Baht.  On a side note, it is interesting to me that when he refers to the cost of anything it is always in Baht, never Riel or USD, even though he is native Cambodian and accustomed to the dual currency there and has only been in Thailand occasionally to work over some years.  He is working very hard and was very proud that he was able to purchase these materials for his parents.  They start around 7am and work until around 6 or 7 pm seven days a week.  I think they break for lunch when it gets so hot in the afternoons.  He always wears long pants and a long sleeved shirt over a t-shirt to protect himself from the sun.  He also has this safari-style hat with a flap in the back to cover his neck.  Given how well he tries to protect himself from the sun...he wears sandals.  I asked him a couple of times about work boots, but finally gave up on that idea.  

[mauRICE]

I admit that I only skim through trip reports and may have missed it but am I reading this right, that you've never been to Cambodia and planning to move and retire there? Have you got any friends there other than Cam? Prior to meeting him did you have any particular affinity for Khmer culture for eg from meeting Khmers in the States? Have you eaten Khmer food before? Again, pardon me if I've got this wrong, but I remember you saying that you moved from LA to Denver so that you could be closer to your sister and help take care of each other. I'm assuming this plan has changed. No need to respond to any of my questions if you feel it's none of my business (and indeed it isn't) but all this seems so sudden and a huge turnabout from just a few months ago. 

[jimmie50]

12 hours ago, mauRICE said:

I admit that I only skim through trip reports and may have missed it but am I reading this right, that you've never been to Cambodia and planning to move and retire there? Have you got any friends there other than Cam? Prior to meeting him did you have any particular affinity for Khmer culture for eg from meeting Khmers in the States? Have you eaten Khmer food before? Again, pardon me if I've got this wrong, but I remember you saying that you moved from LA to Denver so that you could be closer to your sister and help take care of each other. I'm assuming this plan has changed. No need to respond to any of my questions if you feel it's none of my business (and indeed it isn't) but all this seems so sudden and a huge turnabout from just a few months ago. 

lol. I guess I must be the adventuresome type of person.  Either that, or some might say I live in a state of sheer stupidity.  You are 100% correct.  I have never been to Cambodia.  In fact, until I met Cam, Cambodia was never even on my radar other than knowing it was a country in Southeast Asia that borders Thailand, Laos and Vietnam.  I was in high school during the Vietnam War and vaguely recall news stories about the bombing of Cambodia by America, but never really knew much about the country other than that until I met Cam.  To my knowledge, I have never met anyone from Cambodia until meeting Cam.  I have since met some of his friends, all of whom are Cambodian.  Of course, the friends are all located in Bangkok, so that will not be very useful if we are in Battambang, Cambodia.  I have been trying to educate myself as much as possible about the culture and the history.  There are a number of good documentaries available that provide a historical perspective from different viewpoints.  Several books were recommended to me by forum members as well, which I ordered from amazon.com and they were waiting for me when I returned from Bangkok.  I have finished two of the four books and am about halfway through the third one.  Basically, it’s like cramming for an exam.  Never tried Khmer food.  In fact, I have tried to locate a restaurant in the Denver area that specializes in Khmer cuisine to no avail.  There is one place that is located inside a bar that has a fusion menu of different Southeast Asian and American foods combined.  Not very authentic.  There are some Cambodian restaurants in California, but nothing I ever tried when living there.  I have downloaded an app on my phone and am attempting to learn the language…or at least a few important phrases for my first visit there.  While I am looking forward to reuniting with Cam on my upcoming trip in September, I would say this trip is also a fact-finding mission to see if this is something I can really do at this stage in my life.

When I moved to California more than 35 years ago, I only knew one other person.  That move was never planned but an accident.  The one person I knew was a friend who was transferred by his company from Atlanta to San Francisco.  He recruited a number of his friends to help with the move.  I was one of those friends.  I drove the U-Haul truck across country that contained all of his belongings as well as his dog beside me in the cab of the truck.  My plan was to spend a few extra days sightseeing and then fly home. My friend had paid for the plane ticket in exchange for helping with the move.   I discovered that I really liked California and the idea of living there.  I gave myself one week to see if I could find a job…and the rest is history.  Before meeting my ex-boyfriend, I knew nothing about Taiwan nor had ever visited the country.  We even lived there for more than a year because of visa issues he had in the US.  I thoroughly enjoyed that time and would look forward to our annual trips to visit his family during the ten years we were together.  I didn’t know anyone there, knew little about the history or culture of the country, but managed quite well.  I even took classes at a local university to learn the language.  Yes, the move to Denver from San Jose was to be closer to my family…more specifically to my nephews.  After my parents retired, they moved to Florida and as they got older both had health issues.  When things got really bad, both me and my sister made multiple trips back and forth to Florida dealing with the various problems.  It was challenging for us both to deal with these things long distance.  Since I never had children, as I get older the burden of caring for me will fall to my nephews.  In fact, the younger nephew is one of the persons named legally in documents if anything ever did happen to me and I was unable to make decisions or take care of myself.  I did not know a single person other than family when I moved to Denver.  I had never been to Denver before.  But I made the move so that my nephews would not be put through the same ordeal as me and my sister with our parents.  Moving to a place totally foreign to me and not knowing anyone seems to be a pattern most of my life.

Do I have some concerns…of course…but you don’t know until you try.  I won’t know if this is something I can really do at this stage in my life unless I actually go and spend some time there.  Come September I will get that opportunity for approximately ten weeks.  If all goes well, I will return in early 2027 once the new house project is finished and make the move more permanent.  As the saying goes…’the things we do for love’.

[mauRICE]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, Jim. So, in summary, your only connection to Cambodia is an emotional one to Cam.

I wish you all the best in your new adventure. ✌️🫶

[floridarob]

9 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

early 2027 once the new house project is finished

Love your optimism 😉 

 

 

9 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

As the saying goes…’the things we do for love’.

I was torn between , "The things we do for lust" or Nothing says 'mid-life crisis' quite like a cross-border relocation..... 😝
 

[PeterRS2]

12 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Before meeting my ex-boyfriend, I knew nothing about Taiwan nor had ever visited the country.  We even lived there for more than a year because of visa issues he had in the US.  I thoroughly enjoyed that time and would look forward to our annual trips to visit his family during the ten years we were together.  I didn’t know anyone there, knew little about the history or culture of the country, but managed quite well.  I even took classes at a local university to learn the language.

Just a note about joint bank accounts. In all my 47 years living in Asia, I was eager to visit and learn more about culture (and boys) in so many of the countries. Yet my first real boyfriend was from the country that I really had no interest in visiting. Cannot recall now why I felt that - nothing to do with the Pacific war or anything like that - but when I first visited Tokyo during my second year, I immediately loved it. And was soon in a relationship that resulted in getting to know a lovely group of young Japanese friends which made a very pleasant change from the foreigners with whom I spent some of my working hours. If I could afford it, I would happily move to Tokyo for the rest of my days.

In a job that was linked to the civil service (in that we had to obey civil service rules in Hong Kong), I was not permitted to visit Taipei until I changed jobs in 1986. When I first visited Taipei, martial law was still in force and there was almost no gay scene. Frankly I did not enjoy my first few visits, but then a bit like @jimmie50 I met a Taiwanese and was immediately smitten. The more I learned about Taiwan, the cultures, the food, the gradual opening up of gay bars and then a great gay sauna near the station (sadly the building was condemned after the dreadful 1999 7.4 earthquake), the more I loved it. And with so few foreigners working in Taipei, all my friends were Taiwanese. 

I have always loved travelling and being based in Asia has been a fnatastic bonus, not only for exporing this continent but due to my work also travelling regularly to other parts of the world. In those two relationships, although we did have a joint bank accounts, we also kept our own separate accounts which I think is very important. If for any reason a relationship breaks down, each party has to have something to fall back on, the more so when the relationship is in a different country. I was in both cases much younger than @jimmie50 (no longer, though!) and perhaps not quite as committed to the foreseeable long term. 

[jimmie50]

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

Nothing says 'mid-life crisis' quite like a cross-border relocation

At 75, I think I am well past the mid-life crisis stage.  LOL.  

[jimmie50]

55 minutes ago, PeterRS2 said:

although we did have a joint bank accounts, we also kept our own separate accounts which I think is very important.

I am not sure I would be open at this stage in my life to have a joint bank account with Cam or anyone else.  I think the only way I would consider that again is if it was a household account which we both contributed to in order to pay living expenses, and we both had separate accounts for personal endeavors.  At least that is my mindset at the moment.  I do believe Cam is a good manager of his monies, as I have seen the bank account and know what he says the family has saved for the new house actually does exist and he was certainly able to pay the 40,000 Baht for building materials they just had delivered.  He has also never asked me for one cent and I had complete trust in him during our stay together in Bangkok.  A joint account would probably be ok...but that is way down the road.  First hurdle is me actually going to Cambodia for that initial visit, meeting the family, and getting a lay of the land...so to speak.  

[PeterRS2]

35 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

I am not sure I would be open at this stage in my life to have a joint bank account with Cam or anyone else.

Just to clarify, the two boyfriends I mentioned in my earlier post both had their own jobs and neither needed nor requested cash from me, even though like others I paid for meals out etc. The only time I volunteered to pay for something was our anniversaries. For these we always went somewhere in Asia or Europe and I paid for the air tickets and hotel.

[floridarob]

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

At 75, I think I am well past the mid-life crisis stage.  LOL.  

SO "The things we do for lust" it is then 😉


I was imagining you to be 50 or so because of the screen name I guess 🤷‍♂️

I don't remember if you've mentioned this or not in your writings.... you've researched health insurance or options available .... like a good amount put aside for emergencies?


When I made my list of pros/cons when I moved to Mexico, aside from residency being easier and permanent, less hassle than Thailand... closeness to the US was also a factor. During Covid I had my gallbladder out and was able to go to Boston for that, if I was in BKK, probably not. Of course a heart attack or something sudden, we have to go to the closest place.

I've seen many, many retired people here have to move back to the US because of health issues, to get Medicare to cover their treatments. 

[Blah]

On 7/20/2026 at 7:46 AM, jimmie50 said:

..  Just yesterday they had building materials delivered for these two projects.  He shows me their progress with photos and video as well as video chat.  They received 200 bags of cement, a load of sand, a load of gravel, steel rods, and no idea how many brick and block.  The stack is just mind boggling to see.  

sounds like a huge erection!  📏

[Keithambrose]

1 hour ago, floridarob said:

SO "The things we do for lust" it is then 😉


I was imagining you to be 50 or so because of the screen name I guess 🤷‍♂️

I don't remember if you've mentioned this or not in your writings.... you've researched health insurance or options available .... like a good amount put aside for emergencies?


When I made my list of pros/cons when I moved to Mexico, aside from residency being easier and permanent, less hassle than Thailand... closeness to the US was also a factor. During Covid I had my gallbladder out and was able to go to Boston for that, if I was in BKK, probably not. Of course a heart attack or something sudden, we have to go to the closest place.

I've seen many, many retired people here have to move back to the US because of health issues, to get Medicare to cover their treatments. 

The hospitals in Bangkok are very good. Don't know about Cambodia, but when you are in your 70s, medical care is clearly an issue.

[mauRICE]

8 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

First hurdle is me actually going to Cambodia for that initial visit,...getting a lay of the land...so to speak.  

Ohh? 🤔 I thought you had gotten the lay of the land, repeatedly, and that's what prompting this whirlwind move to Cambodia. 😏

[PeterRS2]

19 hours ago, Keithambrose said:

The hospitals in Bangkok are very good. Don't know about Cambodia, but when you are in your 70s, medical care is clearly an issue.

Medical care in Thailand is indeed very good, but it has become increasingly more expensive. I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that the doctor's fees at public hospitals have soared for expats. Until two years ago, I paid 200 Baht to be seen by a doctor at King Chulalongkorn Hospital. Now the fee for non-Thais has soared to 800 Baht. Still relatively inexpensve compared to western countries, but it comes with a lot of hassle and queuing.

In Cambodia there is a good network of hospitals but medical insurance is essential for elders.

[Keithambrose]

5 hours ago, PeterRS2 said:

Medical care in Thailand is indeed very good, but it has become increasingly more expensive. I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that the doctor's fees at public hospitals have soared for expats. Until two years ago, I paid 200 Baht to be seen by a doctor at King Chulalongkorn Hospital. Now the fee for non-Thais has soared to 800 Baht. Still relatively inexpensve compared to western countries, but it comes with a lot of hassle and queuing.

In Cambodia there is a good network of hospitals but medical insurance is essential for elders.

I use a private GP, sometimes, as I can see the same doctor, quickly, and I get 30 mins. NHS still functions, but difficult to get appointments,  only 12 mins, etc. The private GP charges £120.00, actually reasonable, I think, but to put Bangkok into perspective,  that is around 5,400 Baht!

[jimmie50]

9 hours ago, PeterRS2 said:

Medical care in Thailand is indeed very good, but it has become increasingly more expensive. I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that the doctor's fees at public hospitals have soared for expats. Until two years ago, I paid 200 Baht to be seen by a doctor at King Chulalongkorn Hospital. Now the fee for non-Thais has soared to 800 Baht. Still relatively inexpensve compared to western countries, but it comes with a lot of hassle and queuing.

In Cambodia there is a good network of hospitals but medical insurance is essential for elders.

On my most recent trip where I ended up going to the hospital due to illness, I was impressed with the facilities as well as the quality and level of care.  In total, including lab work, doctors visit, and medication I think I spent a total of 5400 Baht.  Compared to care in the US, this was very inexpensive.  

After reading the book Cambodia's Curse, I am definitely concerned about healthcare in Cambodia.  It would seem because of the corruption that most of the money intended for healthcare is siphoned off by Hun Sen and his cronies until very little if any actually reaches the local hospitals and clinics.  Therefore, they lack the necessary supplies and equipment.  Complete and proper training also seems to be nonexistent.  Medical personnel are paid very little and often require bribes before they will see a patient or provide any treatment at all.  It seems as though the entire country operates on a system of 'who you know' and how much 'under the table' money you can pay.  

[jimmie50]

On 7/20/2026 at 11:33 PM, floridarob said:

I don't remember if you've mentioned this or not in your writings.... you've researched health insurance or options available .... like a good amount put aside for emergencies?

I need to learn more about healthcare in Cambodia for sure.  That is definitely on my agenda after reading the book Cambodia's Curse.  While I am on Medicare like most Americans 65 and older, I do have supplemental medical insurance for when I travel outside the US that includes medical evacuation if it were to become necessary.  As the commercial says...I don't leave home without it.  lol.  

[Keithambrose]

7 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I need to learn more about healthcare in Cambodia for sure.  That is definitely on my agenda after reading the book Cambodia's Curse.  While I am on Medicare like most Americans 65 and older, I do have supplemental medical insurance for when I travel outside the US that includes medical evacuation if it were to become necessary.  As the commercial says...I don't leave home without it.  lol.  

Is that just travel insurance? If so, i would think that would not cover you if you settled in another country, ie Cambodia?

[jimmie50]

3 hours ago, Keithambrose said:

Is that just travel insurance? If so, i would think that would not cover you if you settled in another country, ie Cambodia?

Yes, at the moment that is what I have.  It will be fine for my upcoming trip in September.  However, if this becomes a more permanent move I will need to get some type of health insurance for expats.  One more thing to investigate.  That list continues to grow.  lol.  

[floridarob]

One of the Medicare supplements  covers "EMERGENCY" care while out of the country for less than 60 days I think it is.... there are agencies or whatever they are called that work with hospitals and travel insurance companies that are able to bill Medicare.

If you're "visiting" and still have a US address, I know people that have had a pacemaker and another hospitalization after a stroke that it was covered and never asked for proof of travel, just that they were visiting.

Maybe investigate if someone does that service up there, I'm sure BKK has them.... I found out about it on a gringo FB group in Mexico.

good info to keep in your wallet or let Cam or someone know.