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Tomcal

typical late afternoon at the apartment

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27 minutes ago, AdamSmith said:

There exist easy -- indeed, not even requiring any action on your part -- ways to make evident to them that you are worth more to them alive than dead.

As oneself (as a hirer of just-released Rikers denizens) would not have thought necessary to state.

I realize that you think you’re being cute here, but for those who read this board and may get confused by your attempt to get too clever by half:

Whether the men you may meet are fresh out of prison street trade, a pickup from a disco, a Grindr or Craigslist hookup, or escorts or hustlers from the streets, bars or working saunas in Rio or Santo Domingo, there have been A NUMBER OF true tales of gay/bi/closeted American and European men being killed by working boys — and killed for a lot less than they would’ve been worth if the boy had simply maintained or developed a working relationship with him.

Here’s just one murder that occurred a few years ago to a colleague of mine, who actually had a second home in Santo Domingo, and knew one of the boys who murdered him quite well as a regular. One day, the boy and a friend decided they would “set him up” and take him for his money. I believe they took less than $200 in cash after they beat him, strangled him and suffocated him in his own house. Oh, and BTW, the deceased was NOT some old, dried-up, unattractive prune — he was actually an in-shape, attractive 55 year old guy who worked out, jogged, played tennis and spoke Spanish.

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/arrests-in-slaying-of-washington-dc-attorney-in-dominican-republic/

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, Tomcal said:

it is like a car crash off the side of the road and traffic slows to a stop, people don’t enjoy it but they have a need to see the carnage! i don’t think myself this is going to increase participation in the site but rather have the opposite effect! this posts are supposed to be informative not cat fights!

Well sir, I wasnt fighting....just offering up a point of view that wasnt popular amongst some.  Not sure why being an individual and having a diff voice is defined here as "fighting"....?

  Perception definitely needs some work !    How can we expect a country to get along when we cant even get a handful of people to ?    and really, none of this has anything to do with participation.....people will continue to do so IF they want to.... A little bullshit wont stop them, but they sure will bitch about it....

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47 minutes ago, SolaceSoul said:

I realize that you think you’re being cute here, but for those who read this board and may get confused by your attempt to get too clever by half:

Whether the men you may meet are fresh out of prison street trade, a pickup from a disco, a Grindr or Craigslist hookup, or escorts or hustlers from the streets, bars or working saunas in Rio or Santo Domingo, there have been A NUMBER OF true tales of gay/bi/closeted American and European men being killed by working boys — and killed for a lot less than they would’ve been worth if the boy had simply maintained or developed a working relationship with him.

Here’s just one murder that occurred a few years ago to a colleague of mine, who actually had a second home in Santo Domingo, and knew one of the boys who murdered him quite well as a regular. One day, the boy and a friend decided they would “set him up” and take him for his money. I believe they took less than $200 in cash after they beat him, strangled him and suffocated him in his own house. Oh, and BTW, the deceased was NOT some old, dried-up, unattractive prune — he was actually an in-shape, attractive 55 year old guy who worked out, jogged, played tennis and spoke Spanish.

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/arrests-in-slaying-of-washington-dc-attorney-in-dominican-republic/

 

 

 

 

One has to look no further than Andrew Cunanan, murderer of Versace fame, who targeted and killed several well kept, wealthy men for some sick reason.   Opportunity often comes knocking in some strange ways, and struggling people often take the road they think easiest, without THINKING.....  

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3 hours ago, Lucky said:

One thing for sure, it isn't all about money. I have been with Tomcal in Brazil, sat with him at the saunas, and have first-hand observations on how people react to him. He gives off an aura that Suckrates can only dream of- it's warmth! People react to that. He smiles a lot, welcomes everyone. He isn't a vending machine for food or drinks or sex. Life at the saunas day after day might become a grind for the garotos, but tomcal shakes it up. There's always something happening when he is around and the guys react to that. I can't do it, that I will easily admit. But this knocking him for his success is unseemly. Be happy for him. He shares here so much information that the forum would never have become the success it is without him.

I often would travel with a friend, recently deceased, who had one of the most charming and effusive personalities of anyone I’ve ever met. He was also very handsome — like a retired, refined male model and always has a megawatt smile. He never had much money and always traveled on a tight budget, but he lived for the saunas and hustler bars in other countries. Whenever we were together, a small crowd of hot boys developed. I attributed a lot of that to my friend’s charm, personality and effusive smile winning everyone over — but don’t get it twisted, we did also foot the bill. 

Now, I am certain that most of these boys would prefer to be with someone who they like and who is also paying them, over someone whose company they either don’t like or just tolerate. My friend was not stupid or naive: he knew that even after all the smiles, laughs and giggles, the boys still expected to be paid and/or to have all their entrance fees, travel, lodging, meals and drinks to be comped.

The point is that there are people in the world like my travel buddy (RIP) or Tomcal with the great gift of presence that people just find appealing and want to be around them. But you also do need to give the boys great gifts and presents that they find appealing in order for them to want to stay around you. Money can’t make someone like you (although some good ones can really fake it!).

 

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9 minutes ago, SolaceSoul said:

I realize that you think you’re being cute here, but for those who read this board and may get confused by your attempt to get too clever by half:

Whether the men you may meet are fresh out of prison street trade, a pickup from a disco, a Grindr or Craigslist hookup, or escorts or hustlers from the streets, bars or working saunas in Rio or Santo Domingo, there have been A NUMBER OF true tales of gay/bi/closeted American and European men being killed by working boys — and killed for a lot less than they would’ve been worth if the boy had simply maintained or developed a working relationship with them.

Basically what it comes down to is what each of us feels what is safe for Them to do!  One reason the sauna scene is safer is all the guys ID’s are on file with the mgt., if you are going to take someone back to your place the chances are better if it is a sauna guy! and letting someone know who you are going with! 

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25 minutes ago, SolaceSoul said:

I realize that you think you’re being cute here, but for those who read this board and may get confused by your attempt to get too clever by half:

Whether the men you may meet are fresh out of prison street trade, a pickup from a disco, a Grindr or Craigslist hookup, or escorts or hustlers from the streets, bars or working saunas in Rio or Santo Domingo, there have been A NUMBER OF true tales of gay/bi/closeted American and European men being killed by working boys — and killed for a lot less than they would’ve been worth if the boy had simply maintained or developed a working relationship with him.

Here’s just one murder that occurred a few years ago to a colleague of mine, who actually had a second home in Santo Domingo, and knew one of the boys who murdered him quite well as a regular. One day, the boy and a friend decided they would “set him up” and take him for his money. I believe they took less than $200 in cash after they beat him, strangled him and suffocated him in his own house. Oh, and BTW, the deceased was NOT some old, dried-up, unattractive prune — he was actually an in-shape, attractive 55 year old guy who worked out, jogged, played tennis and spoke Spanish.

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/arrests-in-slaying-of-washington-dc-attorney-in-dominican-republic/

You will observe that, at 58 years of age, I am still here.

And enjoying things. ^_^

What is your life philosophy?

If you have one to disclose.

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25 minutes ago, AdamSmith said:

You will observe that, at 58 years of age, I am still here.

And enjoying things. ^_^

What is your life philosophy?

If you have one to disclose.

I don’t know you and don’t know your experiences and what kinds of calculated risks that you take, so I cannot comment on what has obviously worked for you.

However, I do know that what works best for me may not work best for Tom or may not work best for you. And it especially might not work best for a poster who, unlike me, didn’t grow up hanging out in seedy strips and dealing with street trade in multiple international cities since his late teens, which is about 30 years of experience. There is slight danger in glamourizing scenarios that, for the uninitiated, vulnerable or wet behind the ears, have much greater potential for danger.

My personal philosophy is “Life is beautiful. It definitely beats the alternative.” Like a Rorschach blot, that can be viewed any number of ways, even regarding this conversation.

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3 minutes ago, SolaceSoul said:

I don’t know you and don’t know your experiences and what kinds of calculated risks that you take, so I cannot comment on what has obviously worked for you.

However, I do know that what works best for me may not work best for Tom or may not work best for you. And it especially might not work best for a poster who, unlike me, didn’t grow up hanging out in seedy strips and dealing with street trade in multiple international cities since his late teens, which is about 30 years of experience. There is s slight danger in glamourizing scenarios that, for the uninitiated, vulnerable or wet behind the ears, have much greater potential for danger.

My personal philosophy is “Life is beautiful. It definitely beats the alternative.” Like a Rorschach blot, that can be viewed any number of ways, even regarding this conversation.

That is a very safe life strategy.

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4 minutes ago, Tomcal said:

Whoa. this has certainly varied from what i intended this post to be!  I thought i was just showing a photo of what a typical late afternoon at the apartment is like in Rio! but like most things it has had its share of surprising turns!  with that i will say goodnight!

 

Please dont use the word "hijack" or OZ will yell at us !!  :o

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28 minutes ago, SolaceSoul said:

seedy strips and dealing with street trade in multiple international cities since his late teens, which is about 30 years of experience. There is s slight danger in glamourizing scenarios that, for the uninitiated, vulnerable or wet behind the ears, have much greater potential for danger.

It doesn't get much seedier than Selma and Cahuenga back in the day. God bless "The Spot" may she rest in peace. I loved it all. The danger, the street trade, the seediness of it all. Don was the king and the boys were amazing. It is a time that has come and gone. Santa Monica Blvd, the back alleys and back doors that were always open. Looking back, there just wasn't anything like it anywhere. So glad that I was able to live through that time. Friends from New York, Chicago, San Francisco, tell the same stories...It was simply wonderful, but you are right, it wasn't for the faint of heart, and we were lucky...damn lucky really.

And apologies to Tomcal. I started reminiscing and got carried away. It won't happen again. :thumbsup:

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2 minutes ago, AdamSmith said:

That is a very safe life strategy.

I first started going out to gay and mixed bars and hanging out in street scenes in the mid 1980s when I was a teenager and used fake IDs. During that time, every week, they were dropping like flies: AIDS, drug addiction. I would literally go out one Saturday and the next Friday another club or bar regular would have died. 

I learned very quickly how to calculate my risks that if I wanted to live the kind of life I wanted to live — which was a lucrative, enjoyable one on my terms, and a long, healthy one. 

I have never practiced unsafe sexual intercourse with either sex. I have never once done recreational or mind-altering drugs. I try my best to maintain a clear, sober head and learned to fine tune my “sixth sense” about potentially dangerous or toxic situations and people. But nothing is risk-free. Even with those self-imposed parameters, I have had a few “close calls” that, had my mind not been as clear, it could’ve been much worse. So, I try to never get too cocky or confident, because karma is a bitch.

BTW, none of the men that I remember from my 80s scene, but for one, are still alive.

I’m comfortable and quite happy with what you call a “safe” life strategy.

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9 hours ago, MsAnn said:

It doesn't get much seedier than Selma and Cahuenga back in the day. God bless "The Spot" may she rest in peace. I loved it all. 

Santa Monica and La Brea, where the street trade, tranny hookers and cruisers in cars’ worlds would collide at the Carl’s Jr. 

42nd and 8th Ave., or the West Side Highway and Christopher Street.

The days when there was a Krystal’s on Peachtree in midtown Atlanta.

Areas around various federal statues and libraries in DC.

Collins Avenue in Miami Beach.

Lower Westheimer and Elgin in Houston. Behind the Cedar Springs clubs to Maple in Dallas.

Some downtown Chicago streets whose names I already forgot.

Even St. Catherine in Montreal.

Yes, Ms. Ann, those days are gone. May these old hot spots and trade-laden blocks Rest In Peace. International travel is the closest thing to this scene, now.

(Sorry that your thread was diverted, Tom!)

 

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10 hours ago, SolaceSoul said:

I have never practiced unsafe sexual intercourse with either sex. I have never once done recreational or mind-altering drugs. I try my best to maintain a clear, sober head and learned to fine tune my “sixth sense” about potentially dangerous or toxic situations and people.

Fairly dull & unedifying way to live, if you ask me.

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10 minutes ago, AdamSmith said:

Fairly dull & unedifying way to live, if you ask me.

 

If he added a little "scat" to it,  you would approve ?  :angel:     We really shouldnt judge peoples choices, especially if their choices have served them well and are satisfying...  I know you really didnt mean that Adam..   I know it seems I did the same with Tomcal, but I was actually addressing latbears "interpretation" of tom's "magic power", and NOT criticizing tom in any way.  .  

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18 minutes ago, SolaceSoul said:

But that’s just it: no one asked you.

No one cares how you live your life except you. 

Do what works for you. 

 

I do think its interesting to learn how people live and the choices they make, but it should be presented like a pu-pu platter, an offering  you can take from as you like,  make your little comment, leave the rest for someone else and move along....  Afterall the purpose of these sites is to share our lives and information, and if people are generous and truthful, it can be quite rewarding.  It shouldnt be something we argue over, because noone else is walking in OUR shoes but us.... :thumbsup:

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11 hours ago, Suckrates said:

 

One has to look no further than Andrew Cunanan, murderer of Versace fame, who targeted and killed several well kept, wealthy men for some sick reason.   Opportunity often comes knocking in some strange ways, and struggling people often take the road they think easiest, without THINKING.....  

This thread is going in so many directions, but Cunanan was only a moderately attractively young gay guy-cum-escort and wasn’t able to snag the coveted trophy boy status that the Adonis boys with model looks and sculpted physiques in and around South Beach and Fire Island would get from rich older sugar daddies. This D-level status infuriated him. He wanted to be part of a club that restricted him because of his sheer mediocrity. His envy and desire for entry into a world of more that was denied to him seemed to be his motivation— well, that and being plain batshit kray kray.

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3 minutes ago, SolaceSoul said:

This thread is going in so many directions, but Cunanan was only a moderately attractively young gay guy-cum-escort and wasn’t able to snag the coveted trophy boy status that the Adonis boys with model looks and sculpted physiques in and around South Beach and Fire Island would get from rich older sugar daddies. This D-level status infuriated him. He wanted to be part of a club that restricted him because of his sheer mediocrity. His envy and desire for entry into a world of more that was denied to him seemed to be his motivation— well, that and being plain batshit kray kray.

 

But we should be clear that "beauty" isnt always a prerequisite of a trophy.   The beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but I have seen some pretty ratched looking boys that these privileged guys covet.... Its really about "control", and the ones they can get what they want from...

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6 minutes ago, Suckrates said:

 

I do think its interesting to learn how people live and the choices they make, but it should be presented like a pu-pu platter, an offering  you can take from as you like, leave the rest for someone else and move along....  Afterall the purpose of these sites is to share our lives and information, and if people are generous and truthful, it can be quite rewarding.  It shouldnt be something we argue over, because noone else is walking in OUR shoes but us.... :thumbsup:

What’s ironic is that most people who view me personally think that my life, experiences and travels are pretty exciting. 

But to some, I suppose that my life is just and ho-him mundane because I don’t fuck raw or snort drugs up my nose.

This is why you should not live your life to please or entertain others.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

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