Cost to be a Monk

[TotallyOz]

OK. Silly question I know. My beloved is going away to be a Monk for his mother's good luck. He will be gone for one month. He says that the cost will be over 25k baht. Is this accurate? A complete fabrication? He said that I can hand the money to the monk myself. LOL But, I still have a VERY hard time understanding why anyone would pay to be a monk for a month. Anyone gone through this?

[Guest joseph44]

Becoming a monk on its own doesn't cost anything, apart from an envelope with some cash for the "chief" of the monks.

The big money is usually spend on the life band, the party and all the "showing off" crap around the actual ceremony.

 

Same can be said for weddings and funerals.

 

Had this discussion last week with My Lordship. Some of his friends' monk-hood cost up to THB 100,000 and guess what...........mama paid; and it is thanks to her and papa that the son is becoming a monk.

 

Loads of religious crap, another reason the have a party and show off.

[Gaybutton]

Becoming a monk on its own doesn't cost anything

That's not quite true. It depends partially upon which Wat at which the boy wants to be a monk. Many Wats require the boy to pay for robes, housing, study materials, etc. The costs can be quite variable.

 

That party is also variable. If they can afford it, they want a parade and a party as the boy goes off to be a monk, the bigger the better. I've seen Thai parents spend every baht they've ever been able to save in their lives to put on such a party - food and drinks for entire villages. Often, they'll spend everything they have on it even if they're living in a hovel in dire need of repair. The parade and party comes first.

 

Most of the time, those parties are held at the Wat itself and all the equipment necessary to stage the party and parade is rented from the Wat.

[mahjongguy]

Ditto. Two or three thousand is enough to give to the wat for robes, rice bowl, and such.

 

And, yes, a big send-off party could easily cost as much as a hundred thousand, but none of that goes to the temple.

 

The only possible reason for giving twenty-five grand directly to the head monk would be if the family feels the dire need to make merit beyond giving up their son for a month.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

My bf was a novice and then monk from age 10 to 24. He came from a very poor family; 5 kids and father died when he was 6, so there was no money to pay the wat. Maybe things are different now.

[Guest]

My bf was a novice and then monk from age 10 to 24. He came from a very poor family; 5 kids and father died when he was 6, so there was no money to pay the wat. Maybe things are different now.

 

I was told when you go in as a child it is free. But, when you go for a month to honor your family and not a life long commitment, you must pay.

[Gaybutton]

you must pay.

Most likely, any time a farang is involved, you must pay . . .

[Guest lvdkeyes]

I just had a conversation with my bf about this. He said if a boy wants to be a monk "for mother's good luck" and he tells the abbot he wants to do that, but doesn't have any money, the abbot will help him to find a sponsor to pay for him. If he wants to have a big celebration and hoopla to impress friends, family and neighbors he will have to pay himself.

[PattayaMale]

When my Thai friend became a monk I saw how important it was to him and the family. The "party" is really a necessary part of the ceremony I felt. Feeding the monks, shaving the head, washing his feet, going to "class" a few days before to learn how to become a monk and the chantings necessary are important parts.

 

When first asked to sponsor the event I added up the costs and thought, holly crow, this is costing a small fortune. But to see how proud my Thai friend was made a big difference.

 

We rented from the Wat tents to protect from the rain or sun, large pots and dishes to feed the village. We had the final dinner before the induction the following morning catered for 150 people. Had to pay for a 2 story stage with lighting, band, spot lights for the evening dinner performance, vans to bring the dancers from Alcazar to Korat, speakers for the music, dj, the school band played traditional instruments, beer, whiskey, soft drinks, mixers. Cost of robes and religious things for the ceremony. The list goes on.................

 

Since you are being asked for only 25,000; your BF is being VERY conservative.

 

I felt deep pride in his entering the "monkhood" even though he lasted only 6 days instead of the 30 days he originally thought.

 

I really hope you will be there for the event. I think you too will feel proud. This may be one event not to sit on your wallet.....I believe the memories will be worth 10 times that much!

[Guest lvdkeyes]

With all due respect - how proud and committed was your friend if he only lasted 6 days?

[Guest]

With all due respect - how proud and committed was your friend if he only lasted 6 days?

 

I think PattayaMale was saying he was proud and that had nothing to do with how long his friend lasted in the temple with no TV, no bed, no luxuries that he was use to.

 

Me, I'd be proud that my BF attempts this. You don't know how long something will last till you try. My BF went me me on a 1,000 K bike ride last year and I didn't think he would make it. I was proud that he even attempted something most would not do.

 

For Thais, even 3 days in the temple makes many families proud.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Fair enough!

[Guest Patexpat]

Back in the ninetes when my bf went to be a monk in Buriram, we had a HUGE party complete with show and outside movie theatre .... the parade to the temple was led by three elephants carrying (in order) the head monk, my bf then myself and a friend followed by a very noisy long procession of locals in pickups and walking ... and yes it did cost a small fortune. But worth it? Yes ... even now the memories of the lead elephant stopping to eat the entire contents of a local's garden, and other people's memories of a pompui falang struggling on to the back of an elephant (no stepladders or platforms that you get at tourist rides!) - priceless

[PattayaMale]

With all due respect - how proud and committed was your friend if he only lasted 6 days?

 

GayThailand is absolutely correct. The pride for him was that he did it for his family. The pride for me is how committed he was to do this and allow me the opportunity to be part of it.

 

The 30 days was my assumption and since then I learned very few do it for more than a few days. The number of days is not the important thing.

 

I do think my Thai friend's beliefs are very important to him. He built a beautiful small room in our house where he meditates at least once everyday. (maybe it is just to get away from me for a few minutes...)

 

The elephants would have been a great touch!! That must be a great memory!!

[Guest lvdkeyes]

I conceded that my comment was off hand and I didn't think it through.

[PattayaMale]

I hope we will hear more from Gay Thailand about what he has decided to do.

[colmx]

What a timely topic

As it happens my BF of nearly 8 years is joining the monks for 4.5 months this weekend

 

He reckons that it will cost 45-50,000 all in for the:

-Temple/Monks/Books

-Clothes

-Food

-Drink (a conservative 3 cases of Blend 285 plus mixers)

-Stage Hire + Speakers

-Show hire

-Table and chair hire (240 guests expected)

-Invitations

-Flowers

 

Tents, cutlery, plates, glasses, and cooking utensils have all come from the temple

Labour is provided by the village boys... knowing that he will return the favour when its their turn

 

In fact he's in Arranyaprathet right now buying sea food from the market there

 

The 45,000-50000 is just to get the party going... As guests arrive they will make small contributions (20/40/100B) and this money will be collected and put towards re-stocking food and drink

 

I have 12,000 contingency money put aside for when the initial seed 45,000 runs out... he is woeful at budgeting and always underbudgets

 

He has sent out around 200 invitations (family don't get invites) Including one to me... but i am unable to attend.

 

Yes its all for show but it is what is expected of him... especially as he has a farang... and its something that we have been putting off for years.

His cousin's parents spent 100,000 for him to go to the monks last year and they barely have clothes to wear...

 

Seeing as he will be in the temple for 4.5 months I won't have to send him much money every month for household expenses. He also will not be visiting Ireland this year...so the initial outlay for the party will be easily recouped before he gets out.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

A bit off the topic, but how were you able to get him a visa to Ireland? I understand UK and Ireland are nearly as difficult as the US for visas.

[colmx]

A bit off the topic, but how were you able to get him a visa to Ireland? I understand UK and Ireland are nearly as difficult as the US for visas.

 

Yes the 1st Visa was very difficult to obtain.. took 2 years... and a battery of paperwork.

 

Most important requirement is a reason to return home... So:

-Letter from Employer

-Proof of ownership of land/house/condo is generally needed

 

And every year the paperwork requirements become more stringent!

 

If you search for posts under my name with the subject "visa" over on Sawatdee you will find reams of messages about it!

[Guest]

I hope we will hear more from Gay Thailand about what he has decided to do.

 

I have decided to have a sit down with the BF and his family and tell them, "Whatever you want."

[Guest]

This doesn't seem too bad if it's the only big ticket ceremony you have to fund.

 

Now hopefully he's not going to get married so that should be safely excluded, but what about other big events such as funerals of immediate family & so on?

[Gaybutton]

what about other big events such as funerals of immediate family & so on?

In my opinion it's one thing to cover expenses of the boyfriend himself, but I make it clear from the outset that I'm not here to be the family ATM. If it's a question of life or death, that's something I would probably cover if I can, if it is the immediate family or someone I know the boy is very close to. But when it comes to weddings, funerals, etc, the family is on their own. That's the family, not the boy, and there is no way I'm going to take responsibility for the family's financial problems.

 

Others do. I know many farang who have paid for major home repairs or even brand new homes for the family, cars, motorcycles, farming equipment, have paid for them to open businesses, paid off their loan shark debts, etc. That's great if that's what you wish to do and if you have the financial means to do it. But I don't have that kind of money and in keeping with learning the hard way, I've discovered that once you let it start there is no end to it.

 

I've also seen many well meaning farang let themselves get trapped and they often end up broke. I've also seen too many times that once the money runs out, so does the boy.

 

I think it is best to establish an allowance that you'll give the boy and make sure he understands that any money he wants to give to mama comes out of his allowance, but nothing from my wallet beyond that.

 

The problem is where you want to draw the line, but wherever that may be, it is best to make it abundantly clear at the beginning of the relationship. That way the boy has been informed as to what you will and will not do. The trick is anticipating all the possibilities and then sticking to what you told him.

[Guest]

I have been with this guy for 7 years. He has never asked me to cover any of his family expenses. Not one time (unless they you consider the gold, motorcycles, etc he has sold to help them). I am not worried in the least and I honestly feel he has this great time coming.

[Guest TomUK]

Last year one of my Thai friends became a monk for a short time and he invited me to attend the ceremony. The costs for his robes, alms bowl, gifts for the monks and all the other items required for the ceremony was just over 10,000 Baht. I know this because I went with him and a few members of his family to a shop in Roi Et where they bought everything he needed. I did not pay anything, but instead got a free pair of flip flops out of this. At his home they had put up a marquee with a raised platform for the monks to sit on. There was a separate marquee with tables and chairs for all the guests. They also put up a tent as an auxilliary kitchen. In the middle of the garden a stage was set up where a live band was performing in the evening after the ceremony. I asked my friend and if I remember correctly the total cost of the event was about 100,000 Baht. Like every other guest I also made a small donation towards the cost of the event, but I believe his mother covered most of the cost.

 

I have written a little report if anybody is interested: Thai friend becoming a monk - what to expect? - Page 2 - Paknam Web Thailand Forums

 

 

TomUK

[Guest]

TomUK: Great story. I wish you would copy and paste here with photos. Thank you for sharing.