Trip report April / September 2025 – Da Nang & beyond – Research if an elderly gay retiree can live comfortably in Da Nang, Vietnam

[khaolakguy]

 

2 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

I had to restart the entire DIFF seat booking process from the beginning – as if the web booking never happened.

I share the frustration with these kinds of payment issues where clearly as you say no one has

2 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

performed the CRITICAL end-to-end user experience test using English as the booking methodology.

This does also happen in our native countries even without the complication of different languages, as I found this morning.

However over all, even without any massages, this sounds like one of your best days recently with tickets successfully bought, opportunity to practise Italian, and finding a good new cafe/restaurant. All topped off by the encouraging news from your bf and his business.

[khaolakguy]

3 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

What is even more amazing is that this Italian guy (I already forgot his name) told me that some of their pastries, instead of following a strict Italian recipe, instead follow a Vietnamese version that takes its influence from the time when Vietnam was a French colony.

The heritage of the French! I remember when I was doing visa runs from Bangkok to Vientiane in the 70's that was something that I really looked forward to, the heritage of the French, especially the bread which I couldn't get in Bangkok at that time. Although there was a "French bakery" on Silom, it wasn't a patch on what was available in Vientiane. 

Even the Pathet Lao appreciated it. I remember quietly having lunch in an excellent(and cheap)French Restaurant after the Pathet Lao had entered Vientiane, when a group of eight or nine of them, fully armed, entered the restaurant. Initially I was a little alarmed but then realised that they had a large table booked for them in the middle of the restaurant, where they slung their weaponry over the backs of their chairs, sat down and tucked in!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathet_Lao

[Keithambrose]

2 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

 

I share the frustration with these kinds of payment issues where clearly as you say no one has

This does also happen in our native countries even without the complication of different languages, as I found this morning.

However over all, even without any massages, this sounds like one of your best days recently with tickets successfully bought, opportunity to practise Italian, and finding a good new cafe/restaurant. All topped off by the encouraging news from your bf and his business.

You should try the British Airways  website if you want a frustrating  experience! It's a disgrace.

[bkkmfj2648]

2 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

Pathet Lao

I never heard of the Pathet Lao before reading your post today and the linked Wikipedia information.  

Thank you for this enrichment.

[Keithambrose]

4 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

The heritage of the French! I remember when I was doing visa runs from Bangkok to Vientiane in the 70's that was something that I really looked forward to, the heritage of the French, especially the bread which I couldn't get in Bangkok at that time. Although there was a "French bakery" on Silom, it wasn't a patch on what was available in Vientiane. 

Even the Pathet Lao appreciated it. I remember quietly having lunch in an excellent(and cheap)French Restaurant after the Pathet Lao had entered Vientiane, when a group of eight or nine of them, fully armed, entered the restaurant. Initially I was a little alarmed but then realised that they had a large table booked for them in the middle of the restaurant, where they slung their weaponry over the backs of their chairs, sat down and tucked in!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pa

4 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

The heritage of the French! I remember when I was doing visa runs from Bangkok to Vientiane in the 70's that was something that I really looked forward to, the heritage of the French, especially the bread which I couldn't get in Bangkok at that time. Although there was a "French bakery" on Silom, it wasn't a patch on what was available in Vientiane. 

Even the Pathet Lao appreciated it. I remember quietly having lunch in an excellent(and cheap)French Restaurant after the Pathet Lao had entered Vientiane, when a group of eight or nine of them, fully armed, entered the restaurant. Initially I was a little alarmed but then realised that they had a large table booked for them in the middle of the restaurant, where they slung their weaponry over the backs of their chairs, sat down and tucked in!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathet_Lao

Sounds like you havesome stories to tell! I doubt you would have had the same luck with the Khmer Rouge!

 

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

I never heard of the Pathet Lao

 

now I understand better what secret bombing of Laos during Vietnam war means, not only POTUS was kept in the dark by Kissinger but you too

[PeterRS]

3 hours ago, vinapu said:

now I understand better what secret bombing of Laos during Vietnam war means, not only POTUS was kept in the dark by Kissinger but you too

I have earlier written a couple of long posts on the war in Laos but it certainly bears repeating. America's involvement in Vietnam really goes back to Roosevelt and then Truman. The corridors of power in America in those days had been massively anti-colonial, one reason why the US pushed Britain to get rid of its empire. That resulted in Britain bringing forward its exit from India by a year, a disaser which was to see a UK civil servant who had never been to India being tasked with partition of the country in only 5 weeks and the ghastly genocide of well over a million Hindus and Muslims as well as 14 million others being uprooted from their homes.

As the leader of what became North Vietnam, Hồ Chi Minh wrote to both US Presidents all but begging them to ensure the French did not return to Indo-China. Whether they actually were presented with the letters is uncertain, but they certainly had no desire to see the return of the French to Asia. It was the French leader General De Gaulle who insisted, basically telling the US that if the French were not permitted to return, France would allow Soviet forces access to their territory. Having communist forces encamped in the other side of the Atlantic was anathema. For hatred of communism was quickly overtaking that dislike of Empire. Truman even provided covert support to the French after their return to Indo-China..

With Vietnam split into two in 1945, the French took over, little concerned at first with the North and the constant battles with Hồ's Việt Minh forces aided by the Russians. When China also became involved after the ignominious defeat of the French at Điện Biên Phủ, the US finally became alarmed. President Eisenhower had shown little concern about North Vietnam which he accepted was essentially a war of nationalism. Soon after becoming President, though, someone in his administration conjured up the "domino theory", one that Eisenhower quickly came to believe posed a serious threat - especially in South East Asia.

Across the border, Laos also resented the return of the French. Whereas the country's government had largely been run by the upper classes, 90% of the country were peasants who had to pay high land rents and were overtaxed. Many joined the more popular Pathet Lao under the leadership of Prince Souphanouvong which had been formed in 1950 and quickly joined forces with Hồ's North Vietnamese Việt Minh. The French granted Laos independence in 1953, but retained control of all military matters. Meanwhile France was losing its grip and finally left Indo-China after its humiliating defeat in North Vietnam in 1954.

Laos had previously been governed by a series of different ruling houses. Several came together under the Pathet Lao leadership. But that leadeship remained an amorphous group which virtually no one outside the country knew much about. All that was known was it was regarded, like North Vietnam, as communist as it was receiving help from the Soviets. Although its leadership generally came from the south of the country, the main bases of the Pathet Lao were  crucially in the north and east - closer to Vietnam.

Occasional fighting broke out between the Royal Lao Government in the south and the Pathet Lao in the north. But the big flare up occurred in 1963. The following year there were the Geneva Accords which split Vietnam into two. But Laos remained as one country. Even so, fighting continued to break out between the two main groups with the Pathet Lao gradually becoming the more dominant force.

A crucial decision had been made by the USA earlier in 1954: it refused to sign the Geneva Accords. Privately US officials believed they were a disaster. It scrambled to establish a non-communist government in Saigon to counter Hồ's rule in Hanoi, providing it with substantial military and financial assistance. It was the belated start of what was to become a disaster for the USA - the Vietnam War.

North Vietnam invaded North Laos, the territory mostly controlled by its ally the Pathet Lao in 1959. Another building block in the road to all out war in the region was now in place. The USA started its war in Laos that year. As he left office in 1961, Eisenhower told his National Security Council , "If Laos were lost, the whole of southeast Asia would follow." They key to US strategy at this point was therefore Laos rather than Vietnam. Virtually on the same day as that speech, he ordered the CIA into Laos to commence hostilities in the country, an incursion which, like Cambodia which was to follow more than a decade later, were totally illegal acts according to the US Constutition.

The CIA's mission at first was to intercept and interrupt supplies of weapons being sent by North Vietnam to the Viet Cong in the South down the Hồ Chi Minh trail. At the same time the Pathet Lao was fighting the government in a civil war in the south of its own country. After President Kennedy came to Power, he tried to end hostilities in southeast Asia. A second Geneva Conference was called and all parties agreed to a peaceful solution. But that never happened. Within months the warring parties were at each other's throats again.

The CIA then took on responsibility for ensuring the defeat of the communists. Again quite illegally, it assembled and trained a force of 36,000 troops mostly from the Meo tribe within Laos. This undeclared conflict became known as "The Secret War". During that war, the CIA constructed a new town at Long Tien to service what became known as the world's busiest airport, although air strip is a more accurate term. At one time, Long Tien was the second largest town in Laos with 40,000 inhabitants but it never appeared on any map. It was to be described as "the most secret place on earth." Long Tien was finally evacuated after the fall of Phnom Penh in Cambodia.

During the Vietnam War, the CIA forced the North Vietnamese to redirect their soldiers through Laos to prevent them from attacking Americans. That way they could be bombed and killed. This was determined to be less risky than the earlier strategy of trying to cut off North Vietnamese forces on the Hồ Chi Minh trail. This policy was personally and again illegally approved by President Johnson. Largely as a result, as is now well known, Laos became the most bombed country in the history of warfare with one cluster bomb being dropped on that beleaguered country every eight minutes of every day for nine whole years. It is a disgrace almost without parallel in the history of recent warfare. 

In December 1975, the Pathet Lao took over the government of Laos and it remains its ruler to this day, although it is usually referred to as a term signifying Laotian nationalism.

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 33 in Da Nang – 26 May 2025

 

Unlike yesterday, where I surprised myself when I woke up at 11:15am, today I woke up at my customary 8:30am.

By 10:10am, I am already at:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/zEcaMGmwSynFC5XF7

for my now long missed (I have been eating too many NY bagels), Vietnamese Bò Né breakfast meal.

Bò Né - Vietnam’s answer to our Steak & Eggs breakfast

Interestingly, now that I am here 33 days, I can already discern:

• A good Bò Né, from a not so good Bò Né,
• A good salt coffee (cà phê muối), from a not so good salt coffee (cà phê muối).

This is when you know that you are getting acclimated into your new retiree “home”.

With the BF arriving on Thursday, I decide to go and get my haircut and my hair color treatment.  I truly enjoyed my first hair treatment experience that I reported in my Day 13 – May 6 update.  But, shortly afterwards (as in a few days), I noticed that my hair started changing color with a pinkish tinge on the more short parts of my hair (which is the more whiter part).  I noticed from past experiences that some of these coloring products are not good at maintaining and retaining the intended color due to the intensity of the sun – which creates a sort of chemical reaction – thus changing the hair color.

During my brief “boot camp” session with YouTube blogger Social Samy (reported in my first week in Da Nang), he mentioned to me that the Nhựa Style Barber Shops, are a chain, and that there are many spread out throughout Da Nang.  So, I fire up Google maps and I decide to try shop #3 (I previously visited shop #5).

https://www.nhuastyle.vn/

Extracted from the review that I left on their site:

Today, I had a great haircut and coloring with Triệu. At first, I was apprehensive, because Trieu is only 20 years old - but after chatting with him and showing him pictures of how I like my hair to look like and what specific color - he convinced me that he was the right guy. I am 63 years old - so now I have old man's hair that is balding and losing its elasticity and thickness due to aging. Trieu did a great job on the cut and getting the color right - as I like the darkest shade of dark brown that there is - bordering on black. My previous haircut here in Da Nang (not in this shop), they did not select the correct brown and consequently, with all of the strong sun here my hair changed color to a slight brown-pink tinge - which I did not like. Finally, Trieu did something that I truly appreciated - when my hair color treatment and haircut was finished he suggested to me that because of my balding that the best look that I can have with my current situation, is to lay my hair in a way that makes it look fuller than it actually is. This brutal truth is not pleasant to hear (as I am a retiree in denial about my age) but I truly appreciated it as I felt that Trieu truly wanted me to look the best that I could for a man of my age. Thank you Mr. Triệu - I will see you again in 2 to 3 weeks. All the best!

So, I am truly happy, but let’s see if in the next days --> if the pink tinge will return.  If not, then boy Mr. Triệu will become my permanent hair guy.

Now off to   for my chicken club poppy seeded bagel sandwich with their excellent salt coffee.  I was all ready to implement, @KeepItReal's strategy, with the cute Vietnamese barista – but he was not working today:

I go back to my room to prepare my 26 May trip report update.

My BF and I, we are chatting, and I ask him again if he can find his shop in the official LINE sellers list at: https://lineman.line.me/sellers/

And guess what, he finds his shop within 10 minutes.  I ask him to send me the link to his shop – because with that link I can convert it into a QR code (this has been the holy grail – 

because out of the 3 food delivery apps – is the only one that does not offer QR codes).

I spend the rest of the afternoon working on QR code creation research and then actually doing it.  I am super happy when I finally am able to create one with his business logo – as well as the LineMan logos superimposed into the center of the QR code.

This will expedite the amount of work that we still need to do when he arrives in Da Nang on the reconfiguration of his LINE Business Landing page – which will include the 3 delivery app QR codes.  I am happy about this because I wanted us to have more time for fun and sightseeing instead of sitting in front of the computer.

We get his friends to click on the QR code that I created to confirm that it works and that his online store in the LINEMan opens and they could make an order.

By now it is dinner time and I open Social Samy’s official Da Nang Treasure Map:

https://www.patreon.com/SocialSamy/shop/finest-and-most-tremendous-treasure-map-1433813?source=storefront

and I select a nearby restaurant that I have not yet visited.

https://www.ajodanang.com/

I dedicate tonight to my best friend, Filippo, back in Sardegna – as he is Sardo – and we lived together as housemates in Rome for 6 wonderful years – and thanks to him, I can speak, read, and joke in Italian.

The menu is 1 page – very simple but consists of the better dishes of Sardinia:

I order the Bruschetta Ajo as my starter and then afterwards I eat a plate of authentic Malloreddus campidanese.  All of these wonderful tastes on my palate brought me back to those  wonderful years of 2000 – 2007, when often when I would return to our apartment in Rome, Filippo would be cooking and preparing wonderful Sardinian meals.  So tonight was a nostalgic trip back in time for me.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/vzS4ymDS1Rab17qH8

I finished off my meal with the famous salami chocolate slices in powdered sugar.

I met the owner, Federico, and his sister (oops, I already forgot her name), and the Vietnamese waitress – and I was again able to have an hour of conversation in Italian – but with people from Sardegna you need to be careful that they don’t slip into their dialect = Sardo – as I only know like 2 or 3 words in Sardo.

The other thing to note is that the street that this restaurant is on: An Thượng 5, is truly enchanted and beautifully illuminated in the night - worth seeing.

I give this great Sardinian restaurant the maximum stars available!!

https://g.co/kgs/mYmDcGp

While returning back to my room, about 1 block from my condo building – a crazy Vietnamese kid (university student) surprises me with a crazy jump and startles me – when I realize that it is the same sexy kid from a couple of nights ago (I mentioned him in my Day 27 – May 20 update).  Again he wants to practice his English with me.  On the prior occasion, he did not have a man bag or anything in his possession – other than his phone.  Tonight he has a big man bag – so, I already cut to the chase and I ask him what does he want to sell me tonight?  He is a little sad – as he wants to practice his marketing approach and sales pitch with me – so I let him go through with it, as he is extremely energetic and enthusiastic.  We have a good laugh along the way.  So, finally he opens his man bag and asks me if I want to buy his mouse – he says that it is new – but it is not wireless and I hate those wired USB type of mouse.  I tell him such and again he is sad.  He asks me how are the 2 pens that I bought from him are doing and I honestly tell him that I love them ( I really do ) – so now he is excited again and asks me if I would like to buy 2 more.  I say yes, but only if they have orange ink.  Now he is sad again – but I could not resist to pull his leg.  He tells me, sir, I sold you 2 fantastic black ink pens and tonight I have blue ink pens – would you like to buy them? I say, ok, but let me see how they write and again (like the first time) he did not have any paper so I could test the ink flow and color out on paper.  So he offers me his skin and I just do it ever so lightly as to not harm him.  So, I buy 2 blue ink pens from him and he is super happy.  I tell him, ok now, instead of startling me on the sidewalk like you did tonight – I point up towards a nearby tree and I tell him you can stay up there and when you see me coming you just call down from the tree – ok?  In this way I won’t have a heart attack – we have a good laugh.

We start to part ways, and suddenly a white car arrives at the sidewalk corner where we are standing and the driver rolls down the window and tells something to the kid and he waves his head no and says something in Vietnamese back to the driver and he finally drives away.  My 6^th sense felt something strange – like was the guy in the car his “strici” = pimp ?  Not sure – as the kid never mentions anything about sex or going somewhere.  Also, in the previous encounter when we ate ice cream together he became agitated when his ex-girlfriend started texting him.

Do any of you have any ideas on what was going on with the guy in the car?

I get back to my room and my BF is sad as it has been raining all night long:

 

There is even a moment when the rain is coming into the shop so hard that they are hiding behind an umbrella within the shop - this is crazy.

When will the rains stop in Pattaya ?   In prior years, these types of rains don't usually arrive until the end of August and September - during what they call the monsoon season.

I try to cheer him up by telling him about the great moves forward that we have made with his GrabFood online store finally working and now we finally have a QR code for his store.

I purposely don't tell my BF that here in Da Nang, our first rain forecast is predicted for the day he arrives.  I will pray that the meteorological people will be wrong - as often they are - to make my BF think that he is truly escaping from the never ending rain in Pattaya. This is my 33rd day here in Da Nang and it has only rained 1 time.

It’s now late and I call it a night.

 

End of day 33 in Da Nang – 26 May 2025

 

[Olddaddy]

well it seems by your positive reports you would prefer Da Nang 🇻🇳over Cebu 🇵🇭🤔to be a retiree 👨‍💼😯😉😎

 

[bkkmfj2648]

3 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

well it seems by your positive reports you would prefer Da Nang 🇻🇳over Cebu 🇵🇭🤔to be a retiree 👨‍💼😯😉😎

Da Nang by far is so much better than Cebu.

Where Da Nang fails, is in the area of intimate companionship.

In Cebu, it is much easier to have intimate companionship.

So, if you are a retiree who can resist being alone - than Da Nang is near perfect as a retiree destination.

Perhaps, one could bring a companion from another nearby country and settle down with him here in Da Nang? 🤔🤔

 

[vinapu]

10 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

well it seems by your positive reports you would prefer Da Nang 🇻🇳over Cebu 🇵🇭🤔to be a retiree 👨‍💼😯😉😎

 

relax, bkkmfj  will return to Pattaya to live there relieved that all those experiments are over, mark my words

[vinapu]

11 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

suddenly a white car arrives at the sidewalk corner where we are standing and the driver rolls down the window and tells something to the kid and he waves his head no and says something in Vietnamese back to the driver and he finally drives away.  My 6^th sense felt something strange – like was the guy in the car his “strici” = pimp ?  Not sure – as the kid never mentions anything about sex or going somewhere. 

 

I wouldn't discount 6th sense but it could be innocent  coincidence of friend driving by , seeing him and asking if he wants a ride.

on another hand keep your 6th sense on.

My friend  visiting Sajgon in Januray 2024 was stopped on the street  by friendly  young man ( he is not a gay ) who wanted to practice English  and claimed to see him in the airport two days earlier which was spot on as it was when he arrived. 

Long story short ,that idiot was driven to some gambling den where he was promised to win big , luckily at the last minute he had enough sense to refuse entry and stop passing taxi to drive away . Only then , by his own admission , he realized how close he was to possible real danger. 

Crooks are everywhere, no need to be paranoid but  6th sense must be on 8 days a week , 25 hrs a day

[spoon]

12 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

to make my BF think that he is truly escaping from the never ending rain in Pattaya. This is my 33rd day here in Da Nang and it has only rained 1 time.

Or you can blame your BF, saying he is bringing the pattaya rain to da nang lol

[vinapu]

28 minutes ago, spoon said:

Or you can blame your BF, saying he is bringing the pattaya rain to da nang lol

which reminds me that in my travels only twice I came to hotel completely soaked to the last thread of fabric in my clothes by the rain which caught me on the road, Hue north of Da Nang being one of them

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 34 in Da Nang – 27 May 2025

 

Eat a light breakfast and post my 27 May updates.

Already it is 2pm, so I head back to:

https://g.co/kgs/CScHvfa

I order the fresh tuna with poached egg - with a salt coffee.  It is truly an amazing dish.  I cannot resist their banana cinnamon ice cream dish – so I order that with my 2^nd salt coffee.

The wife is not there, but the sexy husband comes to my table and asks me if I want to try some of their specialty vodkas?  I look at my watch – as I usually don’t drink in the afternoon – but he tells me that he made them himself and they are:

• One made from roses – I could not resist to say no – as I had a GREAT past experience when I visited Bulgaria (when I was living in Budapest) during covid and I tried their famous wine made from roses (rose hips).  I enjoyed it so much so, that I brought back several bottles back with me to Budapest.

Rose Vodka

This homemade “rose” vodka was good – but the strength of the alcohol partially hides the softness of the rose hip flavor.  Consequently, I would suggest the Bulgarian rose wine instead.  Here is a YouTube video of rose wine being made at home – language is in Russian.

 

 

• One made from snickers – This vodka was truly enjoyable – as I tend to like sweet flavors – especially when elements of snicker bars are included.  ·       I was impressed – as I never had this type of experience before.

Snicker Vodka

When he told me that he makes these himself (and he also makes many other types of homemade vodkas), he ran upstairs to bring down an example of a large type of plastic ziplock bag that was fermenting grapes for his next batch of homemade vodka.  If I understood him correctly, he can turnaround the production within 24 hours – quite impressive.

Of course, this was a marketing pitch for their nighttime bar activities – and I believe that it worked, as I now want to try them one evening.  I hope that my BF likes vodka ?

I use the rest of the afternoon to walk to the DIFF grounds   so that I can understand where we will need to go on Saturday 31 May to see the fireworks.  I want to avoid any potential disorientation when the crowds will manifest on that day.  When I was in Cebu during the Sinulog festival – I was luckily escorted by a local Filipino, Lance, who took care of me during that chaos.  Unfortunately, here in Da Nang it is not so easy to make friends with the locals like I was able to do in Cebu, so I will need to manage all of the aspects to get to the DIFF event for myself and my BF.  So, today was a trial run.

It takes me 70 minutes to walk there and scout out the area.  They are still finalizing the enormous stadium seating area and they were doing sound checks while I was there.

I accomplish my goal regarding logistics – as I have now (at this moment) already been at the DIFF site and understand where along the Han River is the exact entrance.

https://diff.vn/en/

It starts at 8pm on Saturday – so, perhaps around 7:15pm ish we should start to organize a Grab car or 2 Grab motorbikes to go there?  I believe that a Grab motorbike will easily reach the venue – but a Grab car will probably get stuck in the traffic mayhem.

Then the only other detail to understand is if we are supposed to bring our own refreshments or if they would be for sale there – it was not evident to me at the site nor on their official web page.

As the  is kind of nearby, I go there to stock up on essentials for the condo (TP, paper towels, hand soap, etc.) and I visit the special HSBC ATM to withdraw the maximum 10 million VND – so in this way the BF and I, we are already stocked up on some of the required essentials.

I hire a Grab car to go back to my condo and relax a little bit.  My BF tells me that he decided that he will go directly to Suvarnabhumi Airport from Pattaya – instead of the original plan where he was supposed to sleep at his cousin’s house in Bangkok on Wednesday night, so that he could make it to the airport in time on Thursday.  As he is a night creature, Dracula type, he has big problems waking up in the morning.  I tell him that I do not like this new idea – but it is his responsibility to get to the airport on time and I say no more.

I peruse the apps and I find MSBOY_RELAX in the Heesay (formerly BLUED) app.  I am intrigued by his profile because his specialty is lingam massage – a close cousin to edging.  I ask him to come to my room at 8pm.

He is a short stocky 29 year old Vietnamese guy.  We chat briefly and he starts the massage.  As this is a lingam centric massage I am told to already lay on my back so that he can work on the stomach, legs, groin, and genital areas.  It is a long time since I have had a lingam massage – and as an avid edger guy – this experience seemed more like a cock tease – as the goal is to stimulate all of the above mentioned areas.  Whereas, with edging you get to work right away on the different zones of the cock, balls, and nipples – bringing the edgee to a near orgasm experience and then backing off and repeating the process over and over until the moment of release is given.  I enjoyed this lingam experience – but I realized that I am already too much of an edger – that I wanted to emphasize more on the cock gland than all of the nearby lingam areas.  I was happy with his lingam service, as he definitely knows his trade.

Afterwards he cleans up and I prepare his payment, 1,200,000 VND (around $46 USD).  He asks if he can go out on the balcony, as he is wow’d by the impressive 33^rd floor view of the city, sea, and mountains.  He tells me many interesting stories about driving up with his motorbike up onto the other side of Son Tra mountain – which really interests me – as you may remember I was blocked by the road control team up near the Intercontinental resort – as you need to have a powerful – non-automatic motorbike to be allowed to continue onto the backside of the mountain.

He leaves and I note that it is already 9:30pm – which means that the number of available restaurants for food will be limited.  I could get a Banh Mi sandwich – but I stopped eating those in week 2 as I was often getting bouts of diarrhea after eating those yummy amazing Vietnamese sandwiches. I see that the nearby  hamburger place is open until 1am – wow – for sleepy Da Nang that is a big deal.  I eat a tuna melt with fries and then I return back to my room – but always on the lookout for that crazy Vietnamese university kid – to avoid that he won’t sneak up on me again and startle me.

Say good night to the BF and call it a night.

 

End of day 34 in Da Nang – 27 May 2025

 

[bkkmfj2648]

I have idle time - as I am stuck in my room waiting in my condo for my cleaning lady to arrive - so I can't venture outside for my usual walk abouts.....

Miscellaneous stuff.

This came up on my daily Asean Now feed this morning:

Perhaps this explains why it is easier to meet hot Vietnamese guys back in Thailand than it is here in Vietnam?

https://aseannow.com/topic/1361938-vietnamese-sex-workers-surge-in-bangkok-amid-visa-policy-concerns/#google_vignette

The article only discusses Vietnamese ladies - but we know that this is also true for Vietnamese guys.

YES, I have met many here in Da Nang - but there is nowhere near the number of hot Vietnamese sexy guys available here - that one can have at like the Fresh Boys venue in Bangkok.

About 1 week prior to me departing for Da Nang (back in Jomtien), I met a Vietnamese massage guy on one of the apps, who is based in Bangkok as a massage guy.  But he was in Jomtien, to utilize the services of a local visa agent based here in Pattaya - as he told me that it is easier to renew/extend his visa in Jomtien than it is in Bangkok.  He told me that in Bangkok that it is super complicated and often easier to use one of the border run van companies based in Bangkok that drive you over to Laos to do it.  He told me that it was cheaper and faster for him to come to Jomtien to instead renew his visa here in Jomtien via an agent who has an arrangement with the Jomtien soi 5 Immigration office.  Also, he told me that when he comes to Jomtien to do his visa renewal or extension he can also earn money by getting customers (like me) while he waits for the visa agent to do their magic.  Whereas, when he takes the Bangkok based border run visa van - he is not able to earn money during that entire day process - but in Jomtien he can.

[bkkmfj2648]

36 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Miscellaneous stuff.

Part II of Miscellaneous stuff - cleaning lady has still not yet arrived.

One of the local Vietnamese e-newspapers published this interesting article - yesterday.

https://e.vnexpress.net/news/travel/places/how-vietnam-compares-with-thailand-for-international-tourists-4889703.html

Parts of this article are sourced from British traveler Alejandro Campbell's TikTok channel.  I was able to locate the related TikTok video referenced in the article and I found it illuminating about the subtleties between the 2 countries.

 

 

What do you think ? 

Do you agree with the article? 

or what Alejandro says in his TikTok video? 

 

Perhaps this one line from the article could describe the subtle difference ?

"Thailand is a resort. Vietnam is real life, full of energy."

I see it as, we are more spoiled as tourists in Thailand with better infrastructure, organized entertainment, critical mass to support said tourism, etc.

[bkkmfj2648]

Part III of Miscellaneous stuff - and yes, the cleaning lady eventually came and did an excellent job.

Last Friday, here in Da Nang, there was an attempted suicide that gained a lot of attention and it disturbed me because it brought back memories of the all too frequent PFC - Pattaya Flying Club deaths.

https://news.tuoitre.vn/rescuers-save-foreign-man-attempting-to-jump-off-bridge-in-da-nang-103250525111522326.htm

Since the above article was published, we have come to learn, that he is a Russian national, who was "sad about his love life".

Source:  https://nld.com.vn/nam-du-khach-nga-dinh-nhay-cau-thuan-phuoc-tu-tu-luc-nua-dem-196250524145038077.htm

I am not sure if someone could survive - a jump from the Thuan Phuoc Bridge into the Han River at that height.

 

So, since one of the purposes for this thread is to compare retirement life with Jomtien - as the comparator - today I asked Grok to share with me/us - if there were any similarities in Da Nang with the PFC phenomena back in Jomtien.  Here is what Grok had to say - I found it quite enlightening:

The "Pattaya Flying Club" (PFC) is a grim colloquial term referring to a pattern of suicides, primarily by foreigners, involving jumps from high-rise buildings in Pattaya, Thailand. Based on available information, Da Nang, Vietnam, does not appear to have a directly comparable phenomenon to the PFC, either in scale or notoriety. However, there are notable incidents and patterns that suggest some parallels, particularly with regard to suicide attempts involving bridges, such as the recent case at Thuan Phuoc Bridge on May 23, 2025.

 

Pattaya Flying Club Context

 

In Pattaya, the PFC phenomenon is well-documented and involves a significant number of foreigners, predominantly men, who die by jumping from condominium balconies or hotel rooms. Reports indicate a range of contributing factors, including financial ruin, relationship breakdowns (often with local women), substance abuse (alcohol or drugs like methamphetamine), and mental health struggles such as depression. For instance, in the first six months of 2024 alone, Pattaya saw 36 reported cases of foreigners dying by jumping from buildings, with five incidents occurring over five days in early June 2024. The term "Pattaya Flying Club" has become a darkly humorous shorthand, though it masks the serious underlying issues of mental health, social isolation, and the challenges of expatriate life in a city known for its hedonistic culture. Some speculate that a portion of these deaths may involve foul play, but most are classified as suicides, often linked to low balcony railings, intoxication, or desperation.

 

Da Nang and Thuan Phuoc Bridge Incident

 

In Da Nang, the recent incident on May 23, 2025, involved a foreign man attempting to jump from the Thuan Phuoc Bridge, a prominent suspension bridge spanning the Han River. Authorities successfully intervened, rescuing the individual who was in emotional distress. This event, reported by local news, highlights a rare but significant case of a public suicide attempt in Da Nang. Unlike Pattaya, there is no widely recognized term or pattern akin to the PFC in Da Nang, and the city does not appear to have a recurring issue of foreigners jumping from bridges or buildings at a comparable scale.

 

Comparing the Phenomena

 

While the Thuan Phuoc Bridge incident shares some similarities with Pattaya’s PFC—namely, a foreigner in distress attempting a high-profile suicide in a public location—there are key differences:

• Frequency and Scale: Pattaya’s PFC is a multi-year phenomenon with dozens of cases annually, often involving high-rise buildings. In contrast, Da Nang has no documented pattern of frequent suicides by foreigners, and the Thuan Phuoc Bridge incident appears isolated. No sources mention a recurring trend of bridge or building jumps in Da Nang.
• Location and Method: In Pattaya, suicides typically involve condominium balconies, facilitated by low railings and easy access. In Da Nang, the Thuan Phuoc Bridge incident suggests bridges as a potential site for such acts, but there’s no evidence of a consistent pattern targeting bridges or high structures.
• Cultural and Social Context: Pattaya’s reputation as a "party city" attracts a demographic of older, often lonely expatriates or tourists, many of whom face financial or romantic disillusionment. Da Nang, while a growing tourist destination, is more known for its cultural and natural attractions, with a less pronounced expatriate subculture centered around nightlife or sex tourism. This may result in fewer social pressures akin to those driving Pattaya’s suicides.
• Media and Public Perception: The PFC is a widely discussed phenomenon, amplified by media and online forums like Reddit, where it’s both a serious topic and a subject of dark humor. In Da Nang, the lack of a named phenomenon or frequent reports suggests that suicide by jumping is not a prominent issue, though the May 2025 incident may draw temporary attention.

Broader Context in Vietnam

 

While Da Nang does not have a PFC equivalent, Vietnam as a whole has seen studies on suicide risk, with environmental factors like high temperatures potentially exacerbating mental health issues. However, these studies focus on broader trends and not specifically on foreigners or high-profile locations like bridges. Additionally, suicide methods in Vietnam typically involve poison or hanging among locals, rather than jumping, which aligns more with Pattaya’s foreign-specific pattern.

 

Conclusion

 

Based on available data, Da Nang does not exhibit a phenomenon similar to the Pattaya Flying Club. The Thuan Phuoc Bridge incident on May 23, 2025, is a notable but isolated event, and there’s no evidence of a recurring pattern of foreigners attempting or completing suicides by jumping from bridges or buildings in Da Nang. The city’s different social and cultural environment, combined with a lack of consistent reports, suggests that the PFC remains a uniquely Pattaya-centric issue. However, the recent bridge incident indicates that Da Nang is not immune to such tragedies, and mental health support for foreigners in distress remains critical.

 

  SO, the good news is that Da Nang does not have a DFC (PFC equivalent).  And the reasons stated as to why by  above should probably be taken to heart when deciding if you want to retire in Pattaya - as there is a high frequency of PFC occurrences in Pattaya.

 

To be fair of my already established comparator of Cebu to Pattaya - I will need to ask Grok to see where Cebu fits into the PFC analysis.

 

[FunFifties]

6 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

 

Perhaps this one line from the article could describe the subtle difference ?

"Thailand is a resort. Vietnam is real life, full of energy."

I see it as, we are more spoiled as tourists in Thailand with better infrastructure, organized entertainment, critical mass to support said tourism, etc.

Have not had the pleasure of visiting Vietnam yet. As for Thailand being a resort, I think it may be true for some areas. On Koh Chang I felt like I could have been on a holiday island anywhere in the world, whereas Bangkok has a distinct energy that wil probably bring me back again and again.

[KeepItReal]

7 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Part II of Miscellaneous stuff - cleaning lady has still not yet arrived.

One of the local Vietnamese e-newspapers published this interesting article - yesterday.

https://e.vnexpress.net/news/travel/places/how-vietnam-compares-with-thailand-for-international-tourists-4889703.html

Parts of this article are sourced from British traveler Alejandro Campbell's TikTok channel.  I was able to locate the related TikTok video referenced in the article and I found it illuminating about the subtleties between the 2 countries.

 

 

What do you think ? 

Do you agree with the article? 

or what Alejandro says in his TikTok video? 

 

Perhaps this one line from the article could describe the subtle difference ?

"Thailand is a resort. Vietnam is real life, full of energy."

I see it as, we are more spoiled as tourists in Thailand with better infrastructure, organized entertainment, critical mass to support said tourism, etc.

What I did not enjoy about my most recent trip to Thailand was how the tourist dynamic has changed. Specifically, there seems to be a large number of tourist from countries that I hadn't previously noticed (certain BRIC countries to be exact) who did not follow local customs, mistreated the Thai people and the opportunities that being a tourist offers. They would make a mess (litter), overcrowd restaurants and overstay their welcome. Even the very tolerant Thai people seemed to be annoyed with them.  I hope these tourists will learn from experience. Just my 2c. 

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 35 in Da Nang – 28 May 2025

 

Today is a miscellaneous day as I need to stay near my condo room as the cleaning lady will come.

Post 27 May updates.

Sneak out for a quick breakfast at  .  

On the way back to my room I stop by a convenience store to stock up on beverages that my BF likes to drink.

Hang out in my room waiting for the cleaning lady and make miscellaneous postings. At 4pm she arrives – yahoo!!

I ask her if she can help me understand the logistics for beverages at the to-be DIFF (Firework) event.

https://diff.vn/en/

She makes me understand that in Vietnam - it is ok and normal for people to bring their own beverages and drinks into the stadium.  This is very different than in other countries where I have lived – as you are usually not allowed to bring outside food and beverages into a paid stadium, as you need to buy them within-the-stadium beverage concession stands.

She helps me find a document written in Vietnamese – that thanks to Google translate – details all of the protocols for the DIFF event where it even states the following in section 7:

So for me, this is a big cultural difference (positive) than in other countries where I have lived – where this is forbidden.

Within this DIFF document I also find that it is suggested to arrive by 7pm (instead of what is stated on the DIFF admission ticket start time of 8pm), due to the pre-cultural show.

So, all of this reinforces that it is key to have contact with the local population – especially when you are trying to participate in a big event where most of the information is ONLY in Vietnamese.

It is already 6pm, so I go and have an early easy dinner at the  where I order my preferred New Orlean’s gumbo dish.  The waitress already knew what I was going to order and mentions that you have not visited us in quite a while – and I reply, there are so many good places to eat at here in Da Nang.  She then replies, you know our menu has other items than the gumbo dish. 😂   https://diner66.vn/menu/    

I take a long walk on the beach – it is already way past sunset and it is still very lively and very illuminated.

 

Head back to my room and I chat with my BF and we go through the list of all of the important documents he needs to put into his backpack (passport, Vietnam visa letter, motorbike driving license, Thai National ID card, IDP (International Driving Permit), and Hongkong pre-paid debit card that I setup for him many months ago.  He seems excited and is busy packing his luggage.  I remind him to bring a swim suit – ironically, we have never gone swimming together – as I won’t swim in the Jomtien coffee colored water and he never wakes up in the morning in time to join me when I go over to the beautiful clean turquoise transparent waters of nearby Koh Larn island.

 

I catch up with some of my YouTube bloggers that I follow and eventually fall asleep.

Tomorrow is the big day…..

 

End of day 35 in Da Nang – 28 May 2025

[floridarob]

Meatloaf, Juicy 66 Burger, Cheesesteak....???

[bkkmfj2648]

Day 36 in Da Nang – 29 May 2025

 

Breakfast at home and post 28 May updates.

For lunch, I head back to:  

https://www.instagram.com/safariproject.danang/

and I order the fresh salmon benedict toast dish:

With a salt coffee.  By now I am family in this place – especially with the (I am quasi sure) 2 gay Vietnamese wait staff.  It makes for great camaraderie and fun.

This time the Russian wife is there and I compliment her on her husband’s rose and snicker vodka homemade drink.  She looks puzzled at me – and points to the other Russian guy – who I assumed was the chef / friend and says to me that he is my husband.  Instead the one that I thought was her husband – the sexy one – is instead a business partner who came along for the adventure from St. Petersburg to Da Nang.  Furthermore, she explains to me that the “rose” vodka that I drank was NOT made from roses but was instead raspberries – as I blushed.  That explains why when I tasted it the other day that it was not like the Bulgarian rose wine that I had enjoyed some years back.

Anyway, she offers me today a non-alcoholic beverage made from bread – it was good.  What I like about this place is that it is always full of unexpected pleasant surprises.

I ask her to sit at my table for a moment and I out myself (like it wasn’t obvious already) and tell her that my Thai boyfriend will arrive tonight and I would like to bring him to her restaurant and I ask her if there is (or could be) any items on the menu that can be extra spicy – as most Thai people are not happy without their taste buds tingling from that burning spice sensation.  She looks at the menu and says no – (link to current menu)

https://maps.app.goo.gl/c2KiNNZbx2RkLFbu8

but then goes and asks the chef (her true husband) if there is anything that they could prepare for my BF that could be spicy.  She tells me that they are going to soon be introducing a night-time menu that will include a shrimp dish made from a spicy mango sauce.  I tell her that my BF loves shrimps – so this will probably be perfect and we will stop by one day soon.

I decide on the way back to my room that I want to buy 2 more part polyester t-shirts – as they are perfect for the never ending humidity here – as the majority of my t-shirts are made from cotton which do not hide the perspiration very well.  Amazingly, the 2 stores that I noted that had these types of t-shirts are already closed and out of business.  That is something I never saw in either Cebu or Jomtien – this constant quick turnover of businesses.  Yes this does sometimes happen in Jomtien but not at the frequency found here in Da Nang.  So, no additional polyester t-shirts were bought today.

My BF alerted me earlier that by 11:10am he was already in a Grab car for Suvarnabhumi airport and had already successfully completed the check in procedure for his first ever international flight.  He was already in the waiting area – with 2 hours to kill.  Unfortunately, I notice that the flight is delayed – at that moment by 10 minutes – and I share the notification with him:

I remind him again that his Thai SIM card won’t work when he lands in Da Nang and to search for the free airport WiFi service so that we can keep in contact.

At 5pm, I hire a Grab car to take me to the arrivals part of the Da Nang airport.

What I love about the Da Nang International Airport is that it is very small and when there is no flight activity it is like a ghost town.  So, when I arrive at 5:30pm, there is hardly anyone waiting and his flight is listed as “Delayed” by only 10 minutes.

Shortly after I arrive – the passengers arriving from Don Mueang – with their flight arriving 20 minutes EARLY – wow – they are streaming out of the exit doors and the former ghost town area is now like a mini-Thai village.

Finally at 5:45pm, his flight arrives – only 15 minutes later than the scheduled arrival time even though the departure time was delayed by 38 minutes – so I guess the captain gave it full throttle to make up some of the lost time.

We make contact and he sends me a photo of himself in the very long immigration line.  But not too bad, because by 6:30pm he is already outside with me and we embrace and head over to the Grab car service designated departure area.

I know for most of the gayguides readership – this is no big news – as most of us travel frequently - but I was proud of my guy – as he managed his first international flight experience very well.  I teased him in the Grab car saying that he is no longer a village boy but now a sophisticated international man.

He is hungry – he did not eat since his breakfast – so I take him over to the beach promenade and we walk over to the famous  beach front seafood restaurant that has an ever impressive number of seafood aquariums (perhaps around 50 tanks).

https://www.facebook.com/OtXanhOceanRestaurant

We had to wait for a table to be cleaned up – so that we could have a perfect corner table overlooking the external balcony beach area.  It was great.  We ate like 2 little pigs (ok, 1 normal Thai and one enlarged farang).

Now fully stuffed, just before approaching our condo building a cute barker solicits us for feet/leg massages and my BF says to me – let us do it.  I have walked by this place a million times – its name is:    (this is the on-the-beach branch).

https://maps.app.goo.gl/oFQLpa8uvq52AMxE7

 

I usually never do these as I am very ticklish – but I accommodate him and we both sit on these nice cushioned beach chairs and 2 ladies ( the cute guys never do the massaging ) take care of us – it was truly an enjoyable 45 minutes and I did not feel tickled too much.  Unfortunately, during the massage my BF suddenly needs to go to the bathroom and tells me when he returns to complete his massage that we need to go to the pharmacy.

He has intestinal disturbances (I was like wow – I did not get those until the end of my first week here and he already has them after only being here for a couple of hours).

We visit a nearby pharmacy and like in Thailand – they are very diligent to dispense something for his ailment.

We go home and just relax and eventually fall asleep cuddled.

Not too exciting a report – but it is a nice way to end this long anticipated day.

 

End of day 36 in Da Nang – 29 May 2025

 

 

 

[jason1975]

2 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

We go home and just relax and eventually fall asleep cuddled.

Not too exciting a report – but it is a nice way to end this long anticipated day.

End of day 36 in Da Nang – 29 May 2025

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[floridarob]

5 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

I ask her to sit at my table for a moment and I out myself (like it wasn’t obvious already)

Reading between the lines, and having met you....


 

 

5 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

2 gay Vietnamese wait staff.

was done so the "gossip" makes it way back to them.....lol