Should we stop using the word "boys?

[Olddaddy]

Recently I had a new member on here private message me to stop using the word "boys" in my posts.

He said it conveys to the general public reading the forum that it could give mixed messages .

I must say I sort of agree with that to a certain extent because society has changed where everyone is classified as a pedophile because their partners are younger .

Do you personally think we stop using the word "boys " 

I mean in the Gay World the word "boys" is common and doesn't mean the same meaning as some people think in their minds 

 

[Moses]

[kokopelli3]

During the American Revolutionary War the Marquis de Lafayette, who was 19, was referred to as The Boy General.  So a boy can be a general or be a money boy, boyfriend, etc. 

[captainmick]

I was on a “boys’ night out” tonight and the boys’ ages ranged from 50’s to 80’s

[unicorn]

While "boy" can informally refer to a young man, in most situations, particularly in the current climate, it's less creepy to refer to a youthful-appearing adult as a twink or twunk, depending on the person's muscular definition. Were I into twinks, I'd rather say "I'm into twinks," than "I'm into boys," which could be mis-interpreted. Of course, idiomatic expressions such as "Girls' night out," or "Boys' night out" are exceptions. Calling an adult "Boy" could also be interpreted as implying subservience. So the answer to the OP's question is this word can be used in the right context, but is best avoided for the sake of clarity/avoiding misunderstanding, whenever possible.

[Travelingguy]

I do not refer males 18 years of age and older as boys.  

[Mavica]

It's all about the context in which the word / description is used, and the persons within ear shot of a conversation using the description.

[fedssocr]

this seems to be an evergreen topic of discussion

[Ruthrieston]

I prefer to use the term "young gentlemen"

[PeterRS]

1 hour ago, fedssocr said:

this seems to be an evergreen topic of discussion

Indeed! It has appeared several times in recent years. 

The "boys in the bars" was a regular saying when I first started visiting Thailand. Perhaps we have become politically more correct since then. Personally I try mostly to use twink or guy but boys do slip into posts occasionally. But then again I do not think it matters if the word boy is used or not. There are plenty of sensible posters here who would shoot down any post that specifically referred to anyone aged under 18 and seek its removal by the Moderator.

On the other hand, with respect to Ruthrieston, going to a bar to see "young gentlemen" on stage does seem like something out of the 19th century!

[captainmick]

You can’t become an “Old Boy” until you have left school.  You can become a “Young Boy” by playing for one of Switzerland’ must successful football clubs. You can be a natural “Big Boy” if well endowed or become a “Big Boy” if you over eat / drink. When do you become too old to become someone’s boyfriend?

Oh Boy! It’s so confusing.

[zoomomancs]

7 hours ago, Mavica said:

It's all about the context in which the word / description is used, and the persons within ear shot of a conversation using the description.

I agree with this. In Thailand's go go bars a boy is any male working on stage, even if they are 40+. In the West a boy is a male aged zero to about 18. 

[jimmie50]

Had to think about this one for a bit.  I always referred to my students as boys and girls.  However, they were at a function level of 7 or 8 years old, so that was appropriate for them and something they could easily understand.  In working with the general student population, I would always say 'ladies' or 'gentlemen'.  I never referred to them as girls or boys, even though they had not yet turned 18.  I am guilty of using the word boys when referring to myself and a group of friends getting together, even now, and we are all well into our golden years.  On here, I have probably referred to the young men who work in the massage shops as boys without giving it too much thought.  To be honest, I can't recall.  It certainly is not a term I would use in conversation with them directly.  I think it all comes down to the context in which it is used.  As @PeterRS said, I think most people on here are sensible enough to understand the context and would be quick to correct any of us using the term to specifically refer to young men under the age of 18.  

[khaolakguy]

17 hours ago, Mavica said:

It's all about the context in which the word / description is used, and the persons within ear shot of a conversation using the description.

Absolutely. If you told someone that your usual sexual partners in Bangkok were boys, they would be aghast! 

There is a lot to be said for maintaining the appearance of decorum and referring to your partners as "young gentlemen" is I think a delightful euphemism. 

"are you out and about tonight?" 

"well I may meet up with some young gentlemen"

[floridarob]

Boyztown and Boyz Boyz Boyz  was changed to Z's for that reason.

I use the term Kid a lot when referring to someone younger than me, think it's a Boston thing, a lot of people I grew up  with do as well, we refer to each other as kid or hey kid too....🤷‍♂️

[Rent Boy]

On 9/5/2025 at 12:41 PM, Olddaddy said:

Recently I had a new member on here private message me to stop using the word "boys" in my posts.

Just block him.   Life's too short to deal with that.  Then we can close the thread. 

And for what it's worth, most of the boys I meet these days are over 25.  

 

[daydreamer]

On 9/5/2025 at 7:41 AM, Olddaddy said:

Recently I had a new member on here private message me to stop using the word "boys" in my posts.

He said it conveys to the general public reading the forum that it could give mixed messages .

You might ask the new member by return private message if he is planning to notify the following bar owners to change the name of their businesses because it could give mixed messages:

Bangkok:  Dream Boys, Good Boy, Fresh Boys, G-Boy Bar

Pattaya:  Toy Boy, X-Boys, Boys Nighclub, Dream Boys, Boy Gaga, SUNEE Intimate Boy, Classic Boy

In Thailand, the word boy is commonly used, without any negative connotations or western guilt.  Let's allow Thailand to be Thailand, and not attempt to impose western ideas and political correctness where it is not welcome. 

 

[Travelingguy]

7 hours ago, floridarob said:

Boyztown and Boyz Boyz Boyz  was changed to Z's for that reason.

I use the term Kid a lot when referring to someone younger than me, think it's a Boston thing, a lot of people I grew up  with do as well, we refer to each other as kid or hey kid too....🤷‍♂️

As I get older, I catch myself thinking of people in their 30’s as kids.  They are full grown adults with some of them having kids of their own.  I guess it is inevitable.

[jimmie50]

26 minutes ago, Travelingguy said:

As I get older, I catch myself thinking of people in their 30’s as kids.

My oldest nephew is 30 and married, the younger one is 29.  I often find myself referring to them as 'the kids' when talking about them to family and friends.  

[jimmie50]

 

Personally, it is my belief that we have become too easily offended and are overly sensitive to words as well as ideas.  In many ways I think it has the opposite effect and limits dialogue.  

2 hours ago, daydreamer said:

In Thailand, the word boy is commonly used, without any negative connotations or western guilt.  Let's allow Thailand to be Thailand, and not attempt to impose western ideas and political correctness where it is not welcome. 

 

Why do we always feel the rest of the world must conform to western ideas?  I agree whole heartedly with @daydreamer...let Thailand be Thailand.  

 

[PeterRS]

24 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

 

Personally, it is my belief that we have become too easily offended and are overly sensitive to words as well as ideas.  In many ways I think it has the opposite effect and limits dialogue.  

 

Why do we always feel the rest of the world must conform to western ideas?  I agree whole heartedly with @daydreamer...let Thailand be Thailand.  

 

It is a trait which many westerners and non-Asians fall into, especially if they are only visiting on vacation. Those who live in Asia soon get used to the sometimes subtle differences in conversation and social interaction found in different Asian countries.