LOS Trip Report

[mauRICE]

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

As a follow-up to my most recent update, Bee shared when asking for support that he also works part time after bank hours at two different massage shops...one in Sathorn and the other Surawong.  I believe they were owned by the same person and they just send him to the shop where he is needed the most.  No judgement about that...realize he is doing what he needs to do in order to support himself and his parents.  Just filled with mixed emotions.  

Out of curiosity, what bank does he work at? Did he show you his bank ID? How do you know he's supporting his parents? Because he told you? How do you even know he has parents? What massage shop does he work at? Have you been there? How did he manage his rent before you arrived? How is he going to manage his rent next month? And the month after that? Did you even know his full name and where he lived before you sent him the money? 

Consider the 10,000 baht you gave him as tip for the few days he was with you and move on. He has.

Enjoy Chiang Mai. I hear it's been raining every day for the past few days.

 

[Keithambrose]

4 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Out of curiosity, what bank does he work at? Did he show you his bank ID? How do you know he's supporting his parents? Because he told you? How do you even know he has parents? What massage shop does he work at? Have you been there? How did he manage his rent before you arrived? How is he going to manage his rent next month? And the month after that? Did you even know his full name and where he lived before you sent him the money? 

Consider the 10,000 baht you gave him as tip for the few days he was with you and move on. He has.

Enjoy Chiang Mai. I hear it's been raining every day for the past few days.

 

What a helpful post!

[emiel1981]

14 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I know, I know…everyone else probably saw this coming. 

First of all, thank you for your honest post and sharing your story. It's always interesting and nice to hear the follow-up to a story, even though it's obviously not as rosy as we all hoped for you. But as you yourself said: if we were realistic, we would all have assumed that sooner or later the request for financial support would come... And I can completely understand that because that request for help initially seemed to materialize, you might have had some hope that things would be different with him than in most cases...

It's good that you realize you shouldn't keep transferring money. Because then you'll likely continue to receive a never-ending stream of requests for money. Keep your wits about you and don't let your emotions get the better of you and tempt you to make another payment.

15 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Meeting Woody this morning from Siam Roads, so hopefully he will be able to brighten my spirits a bit

Woody is a really nice guy, so I'm sure you'll enjoy the rest of your journey. I look forward to your future updates.

[zoomomancs]

1 hour ago, emiel1981 said:

First of all, thank you for your honest post and sharing your story. It's always interesting and nice to hear the follow-up to a story, even though it's obviously not as rosy as we all hoped for you. But as you yourself said: if we were realistic, we would all have assumed that sooner or later the request for financial support would come... And I can completely understand that because that request for help initially seemed to materialize, you might have had some hope that things would be different with him than in most cases...

It's good that you realize you shouldn't keep transferring money. Because then you'll likely continue to receive a never-ending stream of requests for money. Keep your wits about you and don't let your emotions get the better of you and tempt you to make another payment.

Woody is a really nice guy, so I'm sure you'll enjoy the rest of your journey. I look forward to your future updates.

I think 75% of the men I've been with in the last 15 years have messaged afterwards to ask for money. In my early years I did send money but nowadays I tell them 'I don't send money and I don't lend money'. When I'm there, and in a better position to assess their story, I can be persuaded to give them 2000bt if times are hard. 

[jason1975]

I know of a bar guy who has been given 50k a month from a rich sponsor for past few months.

[iendo]

3 hours ago, emiel1981 said:

First of all, thank you for your honest post and sharing your story. It's always interesting and nice to hear the follow-up to a story, even though it's obviously not as rosy as we all hoped for you. But as you yourself said: if we were realistic, we would all have assumed that sooner or later the request for financial support would come... And I can completely understand that because that request for help initially seemed to materialize, you might have had some hope that things would be different with him than in most cases...

It's good that you realize you shouldn't keep transferring money. Because then you'll likely continue to receive a never-ending stream of requests for money. Keep your wits about you and don't let your emotions get the better of you and tempt you to make another payment.

Good and constructive post. If someone is being open in telling his story, he can probably do without "I told you so" and ridicule. I think that many of us learned the hard way, even after being warned. It's like a ride off passage...or a coming of age if you will.

Mine was relatively cheap. I gave the boy 10k baht so he could go home after our visit together to Bangkok. After I gave him the money he went straight on a bus back to Pattaya. I guess that was his new home

Live and learn for us all. 

[jimmie50]

23 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Out of curiosity, what bank does he work at? Did he show you his bank ID? How do you know he's supporting his parents? Because he told you? How do you even know he has parents? What massage shop does he work at? Have you been there? How did he manage his rent before you arrived? How is he going to manage his rent next month? And the month after that? Did you even know his full name and where he lived before you sent him the money? 

He works at Kasikorn Bank.  He goes between the Sathorn branch and the Silom branch.  I have met him at the Sathorn branch for a quick cup of coffee when he has taking a break, so I have seen him actually working at the bank and in uniform with badge.  That part I don't doubt.  I know where the massage shop in Sathorn is located, very near his bank, but do not know the name nor did I realize he was working there.  They are all older women except him.  I thought he was just having casual conversation with them and did not realize they knew each other from a working relationship.  No idea the name or location of the Surawong shop.  He showed me photos of his parents, as well as his sister who was killed in the tsunami and some other family members that were killed.  I believe he said he lost a total of 9 or 12 family members in that horrific event.  I know his actual Thai name (Bee is nickname), have seen his official government ID, know the address of his studio apartment but never actually been there, and don't know how much he pays in rent monthly.  I didn't want to ask at the time.  I suppose the family photos could belong to someone else, but I would have no way of knowing that.  Given that so much info was actually factual...I guess I just wanted to believe it was all true.  Don't know what part or how much is fiction.  

[jimmie50]

12 hours ago, emiel1981 said:

It's good that you realize you shouldn't keep transferring money. Because then you'll likely continue to receive a never-ending stream of requests for money. Keep your wits about you and don't let your emotions get the better of you and tempt you to make another payment.

Yes, the tap has been cut off, so to speak.  I have heard from him again explaining that he has a 150,000 Baht loan he needs to pay off which is why he needs the help.  I haven't blocked him, but also haven't responded.  Disappointed for sure, but also have no desire to be in any type of relationship where the entire purpose is for me to be a walking ATM.  As I said, realistically it was too good to be true.  

[jimmie50]

23 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Consider the 10,000 baht you gave him as tip for the few days he was with you and move on. He has.

Enjoy Chiang Mai. I hear it's been raining every day for the past few days.

Yes, lesson learned and nice tip for him.  It has been raining quite a lot...more than was expected.  Got soaked at the Sunday night market and again yesterday at some large temple complex outside of the city.  Today is overcast, but no rain so far.  Chiang Mai is literally overrun with tourists.  Bus after bus after bus.  Traffic is horrible.  Lantern Festival November 4-6 was heavily promoted by Chiang Mai government.  Honestly think more tourists are here than I saw in Bangkok.  Definitely at or over maximum capacity for venues to even function properly.  

[jimmie50]

On 11/4/2025 at 10:06 AM, vinapu said:

I believe you opened pandora box by voluntarily doubling his stated need and giving him 10 K instead of 5 K.

While my intent was to do something nice, you are correct.  I opened the door.  Might as well have opened my wallet and said 'help yourself'.  Guess the advantage of always having my Thai friends taking care of me when visiting in the past, I was protected or sheltered from such experiences.  Lesson learned the hard way.  Guess the old saying you are never too old to learn something new is true in my case.  

[jimmie50]

Thanks to everyone for the moral support, suggestions and good advice.  Really appreciate it!!!

[Enchanted_Elixir]

32 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

Yes, the tap has been cut off, so to speak.  I have heard from him again explaining that he has a 150,000 Baht loan he needs to pay off which is why he needs the help.  I haven't blocked him, but also haven't responded.  Disappointed for sure, but also have no desire to be in any type of relationship where the entire purpose is for me to be a walking ATM.  As I said, realistically it was too good to be true.  

The Thai middle class got a notorious debt problem. So his story is very familiar. 

[captainmick]

4 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Yes, lesson learned and nice tip for him.  It has been raining quite a lot...more than was expected.  Got soaked at the Sunday night market and again yesterday at some large temple complex outside of the city.  Today is overcast, but no rain so far.  Chiang Mai is literally overrun with tourists.  Bus after bus after bus.  Traffic is horrible.  Lantern Festival November 4-6 was heavily promoted by Chiang Mai government.  Honestly think more tourists are here than I saw in Bangkok.  Definitely at or over maximum capacity for venues to even function properly.  

Chiang Mai is always VERY crowded for Yi Peng festival.  It is the busiest few days of the year there with hoards of Thai people as well as international tourists flocking to the city for those few days.

[mauRICE]

54 minutes ago, captainmick said:

Chiang Mai is always VERY crowded for Yi Peng festival.  It is the busiest few days of the year there with hoards of Thai people as well as international tourists flocking to the city for those few days.

I think most Chiang Mai locals would say Songkran is the busiest time of the year with the days lasting longer. That said, there was a huge influx of visitors during Loy Kratong last year and most of my Chiang Mai friends chose to stay home during the festivities. I'm happy for the business owners; a friend who runs a coffeeshop says business has been brisk these past few weeks. The snowbirds from Japan, Europe, etc are back early.

[mauRICE]

5 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

While my intent was to do something nice, you are correct.  I opened the door.  

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions...as is the road to Silom/Patpong/Pattaya/Jomtien Complex etc. If it's any consolation, in my long association with the Land of Smiles, I've not seen a single case of someone being refused "help" in this way ending up in the streets. They just move on to another host.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy the rest of of your holiday!

PS Check out the fruit carts you see on the streets. Some of them may have lamood.

 

[iendo]

9 hours ago, Enchanted_Elixir said:

The Thai middle class got a notorious debt problem. So his story is very familiar. 

That reminded me of a video on YouTube i saw a while ago.

 

[jimmie50]

No contact from Bee yesterday.  Either he has figured out this ship isn't going to sail, or perhaps thinks the lack of any contact will produce a change of heart on my part.  In either case, the silence was actually a relief to me.  Enjoyed my day with Woody on Tuesday, and he hooked me up at his shop for a massage.  That certainly helped lift my spirits.  lol.  Ventured out on my own yesterday afternoon to AquaCNX.  Will include a full review when I get home and wrap up the trip report, but for now just wanted to update everyone on my current 'situation'.   Head for Chiang Mai airport around noon to begin that long trek back to Denver.  Not looking forward to that.   

[vinapu]

have a safe flight !

[jason1975]

Thank you for writing about your experiences in such detail and with much honesty. I wouldn't be quick to close the door with Bee. He seems to be genuinely in need of financial assistance. If I remember correctly, when he first met you, he didn't talk about money at all and he seemed like he wanted to know whether there could be chemistry between the two of you for a relationship.

It takes time to get to know a person. I encourage you to keep in touch with him when you are back at home. If you are able to maintain meaningful online conversations with him, that shows there is some connection in your relationship. If you want to, you might consider sending him a small sum of money every month to help him slowly clear his debt. However, you should be the one deciding how much to give and it is based on how much you are prepared to give and not how much he asks for.

I have known my regular guy for 9 years now and it started back in 2016. I subsequently met him every time I visited Bangkok.

In 2019, he was disillusioned with the life working in a bar so he asked me if I could support him monthly if he went back to Vietnam. It was a reasonable sum and I could afford it so I said yes. It was not his only source of income. He worked and my money merely supplemented his earnings as he provided for his parents. But Covid hit and things were bad. The job situation in Vietnam didn't recover after Covid so he came back to Bangkok to work in 2022.

I got reunited with him physically and have been meeting him for the past few years. He's done well enough that I have stopped sending him money every month. Of course, I tend to give him quite a bit more than a regular customer when I meet him in Bangkok!

Our long distance relationship consists of chatting about mundane things such as "what did you eat for dinner?" or "how's the weather?" but we also ask about each other's health and share about our individual life.

[vinapu]

while Jason's story is uplifting , I still think if guy asks for support just after 3 or 4 days from 1st meeting coupled with fact that he has a job in bank and still managed to go deep in debt is bad omen and keeping in touch , never mind supporting him,  invites never ending  money requests.