Who was being rude?

[unicorn]

My husband, houseguest, and myself were chatting up with a young man at a Halloween party (as previously discussed in another string). He mentioned that he was a professional magician, and I asked him if he could offer us an invitation to the Magic Castle. The Magic Castle is a dinner club where one has dinner while being entertained by various magicians. One can only obtain reservations if invited by a member. There is no cost for a member to invite a guest, and we'd be paying our own way, of course. He kind of snapped at me and said "Well, hello to you, too!" and disengaged, shunning me for the rest of evening. 

When I tell people I'm a physician, it's not uncommon for new acquaintances to ask me my medical advice. I've never been bothered by that, although sometimes I must tell the new acquaintance that I'd need more information (sometimes I can offer a good opinion, however). I felt embarrassed at being rebuked like that. I probably would have gone to one of his shows had he simply declined. I might have even hired him for one of my summertime pool parties, as I usually hire an entertainer such as a drag queen or exotic dancer. Of course, both my houseguest and husband felt he was the one being rude, with my husband commenting "He's just young and full of himself" (the man is 23). I do realize that my husband and houseguest aren't exactly neutral observers, so I'm wondering what your thoughts are, as neutral parties. 

[Riobard]

Dancer.

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, unicorn said:

I felt embarrassed at being rebuked like that........ Of course, both my houseguest and husband felt he was the one being rude, with my husband commenting "He's just young and full of himself" (the man is 23). I do realize that my husband and houseguest aren't exactly neutral observers, so I'm wondering what your thoughts are, as neutral parties. 

sorry to disappoint you  but IMNSHO you were rude asking stranger you barely met for favours. People asking you for medical advice on party are also rude. California water perhaps ?

Quite often while on party or even family function I'm being asked question from my area of expertise. My response is invariably " I don't blend business with social life, call me on Monday". Such response  it's so well known that on more than one occasion it was actually host who hearing question  rushed  with answer ' call vinapu on Monday"   

[PeterRS]

I tend to agree with @vinapu. I hasten to add I have no idea what the Magic Castle is or why it should interest you. Do they saw guys in half throughout and have rabbits runing around the place which have been pulled out of hats?

Seriously, though, it sounds rather like a Club for professional magicians and therefore it would not be appropriate to solicit an invitation from someone you do not know or hardly know and just happen to meet casually at a party. Had I been there and in your shoes, as it were, I would probably have said something like, "I've heard of  those amazing dinners you have at the Magic Castle. Do you know if there is any way non-magicians might be able to attend?" So even though I knew the answer, I'd throw the question over to him rather than specifically asking him to invite me. 

[captainmick]

The Unicorn was cheeky in asking the question and received an appropriate rebuke

[Riobard]

It was a large gathering. Always many moving parts in such contexts. It is a challenge to apply the type of social lubrication that might otherwise precede a favour request upon discovering an opening to a particular niche resource.

It was not heavy-handed importuning. When you disclose your occupation it is wise to have a few light quips to employ when a recipient of such information refers to some aspect of it. If somebody said to the physician they see as conventionally attractive “It’s been ages since I’ve had a decent digital rectal exam” the physician with social skills might reply “It’s been a while since I’ve been offered dinner first.” The physician with poor skills, not open not extroverted not conscientious, might say something like “Because it’s in your dreams.” An intentional putdown. Asking for the referral was not a putdown.

A quip that intends to embarrass is a putdown and neither party can easily come back from it. The magician is not likely subsequently seeking external appraisal of his behaviour. What he couldn’t pull out of his hat is a social grace even if he perceived that the question directed to him was somewhat of an imposition and with premature timing. 

Sure, perhaps the OP shoulda coulda have deferred the ask. After all, his critics, when in heavily populated social contexts and upon discovering the trade present, typically expend hours in sensitive social lubrication prior to deigning to ask the price of a fuck.