Who was being rude?

[unicorn]

My husband, houseguest, and myself were chatting up with a young man at a Halloween party (as previously discussed in another string). He mentioned that he was a professional magician, and I asked him if he could offer us an invitation to the Magic Castle. The Magic Castle is a dinner club where one has dinner while being entertained by various magicians. One can only obtain reservations if invited by a member. There is no cost for a member to invite a guest, and we'd be paying our own way, of course. He kind of snapped at me and said "Well, hello to you, too!" and disengaged, shunning me for the rest of evening. 

When I tell people I'm a physician, it's not uncommon for new acquaintances to ask me my medical advice. I've never been bothered by that, although sometimes I must tell the new acquaintance that I'd need more information (sometimes I can offer a good opinion, however). I felt embarrassed at being rebuked like that. I probably would have gone to one of his shows had he simply declined. I might have even hired him for one of my summertime pool parties, as I usually hire an entertainer such as a drag queen or exotic dancer. Of course, both my houseguest and husband felt he was the one being rude, with my husband commenting "He's just young and full of himself" (the man is 23). I do realize that my husband and houseguest aren't exactly neutral observers, so I'm wondering what your thoughts are, as neutral parties. 

[Riobard]

Dancer.

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, unicorn said:

I felt embarrassed at being rebuked like that........ Of course, both my houseguest and husband felt he was the one being rude, with my husband commenting "He's just young and full of himself" (the man is 23). I do realize that my husband and houseguest aren't exactly neutral observers, so I'm wondering what your thoughts are, as neutral parties. 

sorry to disappoint you  but IMNSHO you were rude asking stranger you barely met for favours. People asking you for medical advice on party are also rude. California water perhaps ?

Quite often while on party or even family function I'm being asked question from my area of expertise. My response is invariably " I don't blend business with social life, call me on Monday". Such response  it's so well known that on more than one occasion it was actually host who hearing question  rushed  with answer ' call vinapu on Monday"   

[PeterRS]

I tend to agree with @vinapu. I hasten to add I have no idea what the Magic Castle is or why it should interest you. Do they saw guys in half throughout and have rabbits runing around the place which have been pulled out of hats?

Seriously, though, it sounds rather like a Club for professional magicians and therefore it would not be appropriate to solicit an invitation from someone you do not know or hardly know and just happen to meet casually at a party. Had I been there and in your shoes, as it were, I would probably have said something like, "I've heard of  those amazing dinners you have at the Magic Castle. Do you know if there is any way non-magicians might be able to attend?" So even though I knew the answer, I'd throw the question over to him rather than specifically asking him to invite me. 

[captainmick]

The Unicorn was cheeky in asking the question and received an appropriate rebuke

[Riobard]

It was a large gathering. Always many moving parts in such contexts. It is a challenge to apply the type of social lubrication that might otherwise precede a favour request upon discovering an opening to a particular niche resource.

It was not heavy-handed importuning. When you disclose your occupation it is wise to have a few light quips to employ when a recipient of such information refers to some aspect of it. If somebody said to the physician they see as conventionally attractive “It’s been ages since I’ve had a decent digital rectal exam” the physician with social skills might reply “It’s been a while since I’ve been offered dinner first.” The physician with poor skills, not open not extroverted not conscientious a temperament, might say something like “Because it’s in your dreams.” An intentional putdown. Asking for the referral was not a putdown.

A quip that intends to embarrass is a putdown and neither party can easily come back from it. The magician is not likely subsequently seeking external appraisal of his behaviour. What he couldn’t pull out of his hat is a social grace even if he perceived that the question directed to him was somewhat of an imposition and with premature timing. 

Sure, perhaps the OP shoulda coulda have deferred the ask. After all, his critics, when in heavily populated social contexts and upon discovering the trade present, typically expend hours in sensitive social lubrication prior to deigning to ask the price of a fuck. 

The parallel is that you count on others to handle you with equanimity in face-to-face settings. Such is my Emily post.

[mauRICE]

13 hours ago, vinapu said:

Quite often while on party or even family function I'm being asked question from my area of expertise. I don't blend business with social life, call me on Monday". Such response...

OMG! They dare ask you about Bangkok gay go go bars and massage parlours at parties? 😮 Now that's truly beyond the pale. 😠

I hope on Monday you don't tell them who's got the biggest cock at Moonlight, just to teach them a lesson!😡

[Olddaddy]

12 hours ago, vinapu said:

sorry to disappoint you  but IMNSHO you were rude asking stranger you barely met for favours. People asking you for medical advice on party are also rude. California water perhaps ?

Quite often while on party or even family function I'm being asked question from my area of expertise. My response is invariably " I don't blend business with social life, call me on Monday". Such response  it's so well known that on more than one occasion it was actually host who hearing question  rushed  with answer ' call vinapu on Monday"   

I heard you were a Psychiatrist Vinapu 😂

[mauRICE]

17 hours ago, unicorn said:

My husband, houseguest, and myself were chatting up with a young man at a Halloween party (as previously discussed in another string). He mentioned that he was a professional magician, and I asked him if he could offer us an invitation to the Magic Castle. The Magic Castle is a dinner club where one has dinner while being entertained by various magicians. One can only obtain reservations if invited by a member. There is no cost for a member to invite a guest, and we'd be paying our own way, of course. He kind of snapped at me and said "Well, hello to you, too!" and disengaged, shunning me for the rest of evening. 

...Of course, both my houseguest and husband felt he was the one being rude, with my husband commenting "He's just young and full of himself" (the man is 23). I do realize that my husband and houseguest aren't exactly neutral observers, so I'm wondering what your thoughts are, as neutral parties. 

Bad timing perhaps but no, I don't think you were rude. He could have just offered you a lame excuse and changed the topic. This kind of snappy response is not that uncommon in that generation - they seem to think they're in a sitcom or soap opera and with so much time spent on social media and in virtual reality these days, more and more seem to straddle the real and virtual worlds. They struggle with basic social graces which they haven't been taught and thus have never learned. Just a few years ago, the kids would snap back with a "what-ever" whenever they were stumped for a logical response. Remember that?

Secondly, it's quite possible that you caught him in a lie. Perhaps he wasn't a magician at all or a rookie who was not quite up to the level of the Magic Castle - and felt that you had painted him into a corner.  Some people love to talk themselves up especially at parties when they've had a few (this is one of the reasons why I avoid farang in Thailand!) and I wouldn't give the encounter any further thought.

[Olddaddy]

i have a very good gay friend who comes to see me in Sydney City a few times a year 

He is originally from Indonesia and trained to be a funeral embalmer, he restores facial features etc 

We were going to my nephew's birthday, he told me NOT to tell anyone his occupation 

But I did.... The end result was he was answering silly  questions all night usually from drunk girls , on do you sew the lips up etc etc 

He wasn't amused 

 

[Riobard]

.

[Riobard]

20 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

i have a very good gay friend who comes to see me in Sydney City a few times a year 

He is originally from Indonesia and trained to be a funeral embalmer, he restores facial features etc 

We were going to my nephew's birthday, he told me NOT to tell anyone his occupation 

But I did.... The end result was he was answering silly  questions all night usually from drunk girls , on do you sew the lips up etc etc 

He wasn't amused 

 

You didn’t oblige his request. Your funeral. 

[mauRICE]

44 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

He is originally from Indonesia and trained to be a funeral embalmer, he restores facial features etc

 

He should move to Pattaya; he'd get plenty of business - and won't even have to wait until they're dead. Why, Jomtien Complex alone...

[Riobard]

1 hour ago, mauRICE said:

Secondly, it's quite possible that you caught him in a lie. Perhaps he wasn't a magician at all or a rookie who was not quite up to the level of the Magic Castle - and felt that you had painted him into a corner.  Some people love to talk themselves up …

But everybody has to start somewhere.

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, mauRICE said:

OMG! They dare ask you about Bangkok gay go go bars and massage parlours at parties? 😮 Now that's truly beyond the pale. 😠

I hope on Monday you don't tell them who's got the biggest cock at Moonlight, just to teach them a lesson!😡

 

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

I heard you were a Psychiatrist Vinapu 😂

I'm glad you both have fun at my expense. Lucky you I'm not short of self-esteem, otherwise I'd tell you here how your grandmothers behave when they were in high school

[vinapu]

52 minutes ago, Riobard said:

You didn’t oblige his request. Your funeral. 

+1

 

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, Riobard said:

.

agreed 125%

[mauRICE]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

I heard you were a Psychiatrist Vinapu 😂

Urologist would have been my guess. 🤣

[vinapu]

6 minutes ago, mauRICE said:

Urologist would have been my guess. 🤣

as they say where I was born " one  hungry thinks only about the bread"

[mauRICE]

Please delete.

[mauRICE]

40 minutes ago, vinapu said:

as they say where I was born " one  hungry thinks only about the bread"

El que hambre tiene, en pan piensa

Aah, were you born in Spain or a Spanish-speaking country? I would have guessed that too.

[unicorn]

3 hours ago, mauRICE said:

...Perhaps he wasn't a magician at all or a rookie who was not quite up to the level of the Magic Castle...

Thank you for your kind comments. He may have been rude, but at least he wasn't a liar. Here he is performing at the Magic Castle.

Unlike what was suggested by another poster, the club doesn't perform for fellow magicians, but rather for the public. Any guest at the hotel, for example, can book a show at the castle. However, since the venue is small, non-hotel guests must be invited by a member. It's certainly expected that members will invite guests, as this is how the place makes money. Asking magicians, even casually for an invitation, is one of the primary ways they do business. If you ask Reddit how to get an invitation, some have even suggested bumping into someone at a magic store, for example. Casually asking a magician one has just met is apparently a common and accepted way to obtain an invitation. After all, they can't count on only the hotel guests.

 

Go to the Magic Apple store in Studio City and ask.

8
u/botolo avatar
botolo
•
1y ago
This! While they don’t have invites, I always found a magician there buying their stuff and they invited me.

9
u/mus3man42 avatar
mus3man42
•
1y ago
This is what I always say. Just go meet a magician! They’re not hard to find and they are often very friendly and charismatic people!

Another response:

Wise-Bee5966
•
1y ago
Black Rabbit Rose Magic is the magic/jazz bar that the magicians perform and hang at as well, so if you go in the evening, usually on Thursdays, the magician will come to you and ask if you want to see a trick…or get an invite to the Magic Castle.

So asking a magician, even one which one has merely bumped into at a store, is not considered gauche. I wouldn't be surprised if the magicians even get a cut on what the guests spend, though I don't suppose Day would have snapped at me if that were the case. 

[Riobard]

Well seems like Day Mori opens his act with the declaration it’s time to make new friends. While Night Mori is a little bitch who channels the cad in Abracadabra. 

[mauRICE]

31 minutes ago, unicorn said:

Thank you for your kind comments. He may have been rude, but at least he wasn't a liar. Here he is performing at the Magic Castle.

Unlike what was suggested by another poster, the club doesn't perform for fellow magicians, but rather for the public. Any guest at the hotel, for example, can book a show at the castle. However, since the venue is small, non-hotel guests must be invited by a member. It's certainly expected that members will invite guests, as this is how the place makes money. Asking magicians, even casually for an invitation, is one of the primary ways they do business. If you ask Reddit how to get an invitation, some have even suggested bumping into someone at a magic store, for example. Casually asking a magician one has just met is apparently a common and accepted way to obtain an invitation. After all, they can't count on only the hotel guests.

 

....So asking a magician, even one which one has merely bumped into at a store, is not considered gauche. I wouldn't be surprised if the magicians even get a cut on what the guests spend, though I don't suppose Day would have snapped at me if that were the case. 

You're welcome. Ohh he's quite purdy in the middle pic with straight hair and without a shirt on but why oh why did he have turn into a young Liberace wannabe with that suit and curly bouffant?