Love Interest - Thailand 2026

[mauRICE]

54 minutes ago, khaolakguy said:

Everywhere in Thailand is accessible by bus and or taxi, but how are you going to register Cam in a hotel without ID?

Yes but shouldn't be a problem if they're staying in a house or apartment under @jimmie50's name. If caught, however, @jimmie50 could be charged for harbouring an illegal alien. The Thai authorities would probably want to milk the cash cow too and think, "Hey, if the Khamayn (a somewhat derogatory Thai term for Khmers) could do it, so can we!"

Moreover, the police stop and conduct spot checks on inter-provincial buses all the time to look for criminals, illegal aliens, southern insurgents, etc. Now Cambodians are the "flavour of the month" and very much on the police radar. I believe @jimmie50 had witnessed this himself during his recent visit to Pattaya.

54 minutes ago, khaolakguy said:

It sounds as if you may have a saviour complex...

Perhaps he's caught up in the Easter spirit and it will pass? 🤔🤷

[jason1975]

2 hours ago, Min said:

In my own case, I'm also sponsoring J., a Laos boy, giving him around 40K per month. He can sit drinking with other customers but no sex involved. I do trust him on this. Of course, I cannot be 100% sure but give him the benefit of the doubt anyway. After being with each other for more than two years, I still have no reasons to doubt him even though I know a lot of boys in his circle, some of whom are jealous and ready to feed me any dirt they can dig.

So it boils down to: do you think you can trust Cam on this? I wouldn't enter this kind of deal if I don't trust the person. In that case, an open deal (you turn a blind eye to whatever he's up to when you are not around) would work better when you are far far away.

For me, J. is the only one I trust so far. I could've sponsored several before him but I did not trust any of them so there were no deals.

Happy to know that you and J are still happily together! @Min ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[jimmie50]

6 hours ago, mauRICE said:

You were doing well here and then you went back to your old habits in your ensuing paragraphs and posts. I've got nothing more to say to you about this and only wish you the best of luck. As I said earlier in this thread, when it comes to these kinds of relationships, people will do what they want to do and they will simply have to learn the lessons that they have to learn.

I know...I'm all over the place on this at the moment.  Hopefully things will settle down and I will develop a clearer picture of things.  Appreciate your comments very much.  

[jimmie50]

6 hours ago, hank75 said:

I strongly suggest you do not start these “emergency money” discussions with him as it opens the door to requests. I would also recommend reconsidering any relationship that came with requests for money before you have established a proper understanding and your 3 months. At this stage you have spent a paltry 7 days together. He has zero right to your money when he is not working as your paid companion. If he maintains contact for several months, keeps you happy, entertained, and loneliness at bay, you could perhaps then consider a tip for this long distance “work”. After your year end trip, you can decide if the relationship has evolved sufficiently for a relaxation of financial terms.

The young man I met back in October who works for K-bank and was asking for a minimum of $500 USD monthly salary was easy to walk away from and laugh at such a request.  Interesting that you mention providing him with a tip for long distance work.  I hadn't really considered that as work, but I suppose from his perspective he may just consider it part of the job.  No idea about that.  He does text regularly, we have had a couple of video calls, and a couple of serious discussions.  These do make me happy...interesting point you make.  

I don't plan to offer any assistance, and some of the financial stuff is just me doing stuff independently without his involvement or knowledge so that if and when a request does come up, I can decide then if I am willing to help and I will have a general idea of how much and how I can get it to him.  You can probably tell I am an A-type person.  I am also a curious person by nature, so some things I am aware of because I asked general questions when we were together.  That is how I know he doesn't have a Thai bank account.  Why he didn't get one when he was in Thailand legally...not a clue.  Didn't ask him, and he didn't offer an explanation.  I would venture to say he probably regrets that now.  

 

[jimmie50]

4 hours ago, Min said:

Of course, this entails certain degree of trust that the boy would keep his end of the bargain. Unfortunately, also in my limited experiences, that is, more often or not, NOT the case.

As has been pointed out...Cam and I have really only spent maybe a total of 12 days together between my trip last October and the most recent trip.  I do have a sense that he is somewhat honest.  I really had not considered the sponsorship seriously, and didn't realize part of the negotiations for this type of arrangement could include limits on what they can do with other customers.  I guess in the back of my mind I didn't think the bars would be ok with guys making such arrangements as it might impact their business.  Perhaps I just overthink these things too much.  If Cam were to agree to just drinks with customers...no off's...if I were to provide a monthly stipend...I might be open to such an arrangement.  Trust would be the key factor, as you have pointed out...and we haven't really spent enough time together for me to know.  While I want to say 'yes, I trust him completely' and go full speed ahead, I don't think we have spent enough time together to develop that level of trust.  Hopefully, after spending three months together I will have a better feel for that.  

The guy in Pattaya with four sponsors sounds like my ex.  Why we are no longer together.  Seems during his travels for work he had something going on the side in 4 different cities...juggled five of us with nobody knowing about the others until it finally caught up with him.  Once the proverbial cat was out of the bag, that was the end of the relationship for me as we were supposedly monogamous.  

What I do know is this...while I have met a number of nice guys and had some great fun...the only one that I think is honest and that I could trust is Cam.  As far as the others go, I only believe 1/10th of what they have told me and know the minute I walk out the door they are on to bigger and better things.  The next trick is just around the corner...so to speak.  

[jimmie50]

4 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

While I have very much enjoyed reading about your experiences, and you seem like a lovely guy, I have been somewhat puzzled by how positive all your experiences have been and with so many rentable individuals, and how arduously they have subsequently pursued you. 

 I also wonder, especially looking back now, if you have some characteristic or persona that makes you stand out as a “mark”. Perhaps it is just as The Boy who has arrived in the Candy Shop for the first time(we have all been there)! Your experiences read as almost too good to be true, which suggests that your reading of the situations may be unduly positive. 

You obviously have a lot of self awareness and are cautious about believing what you are told, but less so after Cam came along. Now your head seems all a-whirl. I think many people first exposed to commercial gay life in Thailand find themselves having a similar reaction. 

 I mean, realistically, and sorry if this seems harsh, you are with a rent boy for a week(and he may or may not have a heart of gold but this is his profession), and you have already suggested to him that you will be available to support him for emergencies and have discussed his banking details to ascertain how you would do that lending the conversation some gravitas rather than it being an off the cuff comment.

While most of my experiences have been very positive, I have reported on a few that were not as pleasurable.  I certainly did not enjoy Phoenix or Magic Touch.  I can't say whether they see me as a 'mark' or easy target.  Having worked with the moderate to severe special needs students for 30+ years, my philosophy has always been to treat everyone with dignity and respect.  This is how I treat the guys I go to for massage and that I might invite to join me from the bars.  If that makes me a target or mark, then so be it.  I am not going to change who I am.  That does not mean that I am going to believe everything that I might be told...hook, line and sinker.  I am guarded about believing everything I hear.  And yes, I am less so with Cam.  I have just sort of throw caution to the wind with him.  I didn't go to Thailand to find love.  Been there, done that.  Twice now.  I simply went to experience and explore the gay scene and have a good time.  Love was the last thing on my mind.  Is it love with Cam...it certainly is an infatuation. I will acknowledge that. But there is a big difference between infatuation and love. Love is something that grows deeper over time as two individuals get to know each other.  One week is hardly time for the love to develop and grow deeper.  This is why I want to return and spend the longer period of time with Cam...to see if it does develop into a more serious and deeper connection.  I certainly don't think your comments are harsh or mean and did not take them as such.  I appreciate all of the feedback from forum members.  Hearing different points of view and perspectives is what I need right now.  Let's be honest...rent boy or prostitute...correct terms for the guys.  But what about us...john, trick, punter, whoremonger...are also correct terms.  It is what it is.  I know where I met him, how I met him, what he does and what I do. That doesn't change the fact that I have feelings for him.  By sharing here I am trying to sort out those feelings so I don't fall off the cliff.  This forum is my therapy, my sounding board, my sanity.  

[Keithambrose]

7 hours ago, hank75 said:

I am still reading through your responses so posting my thoughts as I go along. 3 days for 10,000 is extremely fair, underpaid even (in my book, other members may disagree). 4-5k per day would be more in line for non stop companionship. 25k for a week is spot on, factoring in long term discount. Does this sound contradictory? Not exactly. 3000 for a full day and night feels little considering they could have made 3000 at the bar just for the night shift. However a guaranteed 25k in a week doesn’t come their way often and discounts are de facto, the longer the off. And since it appears you are new to this, please don’t assume it should then be 25k x 4 for a month. 

"However a guaranteed 25k in a week doesn’t come their way often"

 

Plus all expenses  taken care of, I assume.

[jimmie50]

4 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Yes but shouldn't be a problem if they're staying in a house or apartment under @jimmie50's name. If caught, however, @jimmie50 could be charged for harbouring an illegal alien. The Thai authorities would probably want to milk the cash cow too and think, "Hey, if the Khamayn (a somewhat derogatory Thai term for Khmers) could do it, so can we!"

Moreover, the police stop and conduct spot checks on inter-provincial buses all the time to look for criminals, illegal aliens, southern insurgents, etc. Now Cambodians are the "flavour of the month" and very much on the police radar. I believe @jimmie50 had witnessed this himself during his recent visit to Pattaya.

OMG.  Really?  I had no idea I could be charged like that.  Thanks for the warning.  I am planning to rent Airbnb this time.  I don't want to see if the condo is available because I don't want my friends to know I am actually back in Bangkok.  I don't want to spend 3 months in a hotel, either.  Regardless of Bangkok, Pattaya, or some other location...it will definitely be Airbnb or similar type arrangement.  

I am aware of the situation in Pattaya, especially for the illegal guys working in the massage shops.  Firsthand experience with that.  I am also aware of a couple of the bar guys who are illegal getting the 'shake down' from Bangkok police.  Walking down the street during the daytime where Foodland is located, stopped, and threatened with arrest and deportation unless they gave the police all of their money.  Wanted 10,000 Baht from each one, but they neither had that much.  One guy had 7000 and the other 4000.  Police took their money.  That happened during my seven week stay, so recent police activity seems to be targeting illegals.  

[hank75]

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

OMG.  Really?  I had no idea I could be charged like that.

Please don’t scare @jimmie50. I know several Cambodian overstayers and apart from the usual police shakedown they’re merrily continuing with life as usual. Their landlords have not flushed them out, their rooms (right smack in bar district) don’t get raided, they travel between Bangkok and Pattaya just fine. Nothing some coffee money won’t fix. 

If he has an ID card or a photo of his passport on his phone, he can be registered as the second guest in a hotel. I travelled to Pattaya in February with my guy who back then had ambiguous visa status and no passport. Zero issues. 

 

[hank75]

3 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I hadn't really considered that as work, but I suppose from his perspective he may just consider it part of the job.  No idea about that.  He does text regularly, we have had a couple of video calls, and a couple of serious discussions.  These do make me happy...interesting point you make.  

During Covid when travel closed I was bored out of my mind, had many business related worries, and formed an online friendship with an ex bar boy who had gotten trapped in his home country, and was struggling to eke out a pittance. His daily calls and messages helped me tide over a difficult period. I sent him around $200-300 each month to keep him afloat. I saw this as him providing similar services just remotely. Helping him also helped me to get out of my own head during lockdown. We didn’t indulge in video sex because he had roommates but I certainly enjoyed the video calls when he had just gotten out of the shower. If you are inclined to send Cam money during the months you are not together (seems like you are) it should only be as a reward for effort and proportionate to the effort he’s putting in. Don’t get carried away just because you’re infatuated and never send him free money. 

[vinapu]

11 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

  Wherever we end up going would need to be accessible by car or bus from Bangkok.

or train.

Did you think about Hua Hin ?

[PeterRS]

7 hours ago, khaolakguy said:

Everywhere in Thailand is accessible by bus and or taxi, but how are you going to register Cam in a hotel without ID?

 While I have very much enjoyed reading about your experiences, and you seem like a lovely guy, I have been somewhat puzzled by how positive all your experiences have been and with so many rentable individuals, and how arduously they have subsequently pursued you. 

 I also wonder, especially looking back now, if you have some characteristic or persona that makes you stand out as a “mark”. Perhaps it is just as The Boy who has arrived in the Candy Shop for the first time(we have all been there)! Your experiences read as almost too good to be true, which suggests that your reading of the situations may be unduly positive. 

You obviously have a lot of self awareness and are cautious about believing what you are told, but less so after Cam came along. Now your head seems all a-whirl. I think many people first exposed to commercial gay life in Thailand find themselves having a similar reaction. 

 I mean, realistically, and sorry if this seems harsh, you are with a rent boy for a week(and he may or may not have a heart of gold but this is his profession), and you have already suggested to him that you will be available to support him for emergencies and have discussed his banking details to ascertain how you would do that lending the conversation some gravitas rather than it being an off the cuff comment.

 Further on the basis of just this one week with Cam you are planning, and have discussed with him, a quick return to Thailand when you will be offing him for three months, and paying him a sizeable salary for that period.

 He must think he has died and gone to heaven and anyone looking at this relationship from outside would say that you have just become so besotted that you have lost your reason.

 Seriously “Whoa Nelly”. 

 Add to this the complication of the person not being Thai, not having any papers, being from a country with whom Thailand has a history of estrangement, and never having had the sense/ability to open a bank account in Thailand, presuming that he was legally visiting there at some point. What does he do with the money that he earns, put it under the mattress?

 It sounds as if you may have a saviour complex, or are just desperate for love. Please understand that my comments are made with the best intentions to advise CAUTION. I have seen or heard of too many farangs(gay and straight) driving off the road of sanity while they were blinded by a local prostitute.

 PS. I use the harsh words of “rent boys” and “prostitutes” not to be derogatory to the guys and girls but as a blunt reminder of the reality to their customers.

 PPS. There is always the very very very small possibility of finding your “special one” in this situation, but take it slowly, with your eyes open and your purse, if not closed, then at least not wide open. 

A really excellent post.

[PeterRS]

3 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

If Cam were to agree to just drinks with customers...no off's...if I were to provide a monthly stipend...I might be open to such an arrangement.  Trust would be the key factor, as you have pointed out...and we haven't really spent enough time together for me to know.  While I want to say 'yes, I trust him completely' and go full speed ahead, I don't think we have spent enough time together to develop that level of trust.  Hopefully, after spending three months together I will have a better feel for that.  

I do hope you are correct. As i wrote earlier, I found it very difficult to cope with long distance relationships, even though I never had one with anyone who worked in the sex business. Basically out of fear - earlier I called it jealousy. If i found someone so attractive and wanted to spend all my time with him, I'd wonder who else might feel the same way when he was in his own country. And being apart for even just weeks at a time, would he being younger give into temptation? The thought that he would be spending the night with another man just nagged at me constantly - and not in a nice way. Perhaps I am just from a much older school!

Most of the time that was probably stupidity on my part. But your Cam, who sounds a delighful young man, works in the sex trade. Reading the start of your post above, to be frank I cannot see any Bangkok gay bar willing to accept anyone as an employee if there is the condition "no offs". That is basically the reason for the bars. To make money through regular offs. Drinking with customers takes time, keeps a boy away from being offed by other customers and makes little profit. An off is basically pure profit. Decades ago, if an employee did not gain enough offs over a certain period, he was fired from the bar. Not sure of the situation now.

I have some expat friends here in Thailand who have had relationships of well over 20 years with considerably younger Thais. Their Thai partners also did not work in the sex trade. One met through an app. Another in the disco DJ station. The first was already living in Thailand. The second in London but he soon managed to get a visa for his soon-to-be partner who then relocated to London. They will soon retire to Chiang Mai. The point is that whereas the first young Thai had his own business and did not require any financing for anything - apart from the house they had built together on the outskirts of Bangkok - the second was a student who on graduation found well-paid work.

I do sugggest on your next long visit, you do not spend all your time with Cam no matter how strongly you feel about him. Go on the apps and meet up with guys who have decent jobs - even if only just for a coffee. At the very least that might reinforce your views on Cam. 

[PeterRS]

I forgot to mention two other American expats I got to know in Thailand. Both with Thai partners. The first had been a lawyer whose Thai partner when we met was in his mid-40s and had a good job in a bank.

The second had come to Thailand and was besotted with a younger bar boy. Stupidly he had not taken any contact details and so he returned specifically to try and find him. Eventually after a lengthy process they were reunited. They then rented an apartment in Bangkok where they lived together most of the time. I deliberately write "most". I knew the American and had coffee with him each month. He seemed really happy that he had given up his life in the USA. But I knew what he clearly didn't that I had learned from one of his friends, the Thai was actually married with two children. 

[mauRICE]

1 hour ago, PeterRS said:

I have some expat friends here in Thailand who have had relationships of well over 20 years with considerably younger Thais... One met through an app.

They had apps before 2006? What were they?

[PeterRS]

1 hour ago, mauRICE said:

They had apps before 2006? What were they?

Maybe not the correct name, but they were internet sites which essentially provided identical information with pics to the apps which eventally appeared on telephones. I met several Thai guys from one in the late 1990s/early 2000s

[Travelingguy]

AOL????  LOL

[mauRICE]

Please delete.

[mauRICE]

6 hours ago, hank75 said:

...I know several Cambodian overstayers and apart from the usual police shakedown they’re merrily continuing with life as usual...Nothing some coffee money won’t fix...

This is misleading, dangerous and irresponsible. Foreigners who think they can "merrily" break Thai law and "fix it" with "some coffee money" are in for a rude shock. On the other hand, a stay at the Bangkok Hilton might do them some good and give them plenty of time for reflection - if they survive.

[hank75]

3 hours ago, mauRICE said:

This is misleading, dangerous and irresponsible. Foreigners who think they can "merrily" break Thai law and "fix it" with "some coffee money" are in for a rude shock. On the other hand, a stay at the Bangkok Hilton might do them some good and give them plenty of time for reflection - if they survive.

I’m not suggesting Jimmie himself breaks the law. If the boys themselves want to take the risk that’s entirely up to them. I know many who do, and pay coffee money when checked. This is also how they cross the land borders. Not a single boy that I know of has ever been to Bangkok Hilton. Nor a farang for being with an overstaying money boy. It’s not illegal either to simply be in the presence of an overstayer. 

[hank75]

7 hours ago, PeterRS said:

to accept anyone as an employee if there is the condition "no offs". That is basically the reason for the bars. To make money through regular offs. Drinking with customers takes time, keeps a boy away from being offed by other customers and makes little profit. An off is basically pure profit.

I’ve had this arrangement before. The bar permitted it as more boys on stage meant attracting more customers, but they were far from thrilled. My guy asked me every now and then to go into the bar for drinks to demonstrate he was still bringing in income. Naturally this included tips to mamasan and bar manager to keep them happy. He ostensibly took offs to drink with customers at other bars, DJ or GOD, or when invited for karaoke. So he wasn’t entirely off-less. This was of course a slippery slope and descent into the sheer madness of trying to unpick truth from lies. I do believe for what it’s worth he did enter into this arrangement in good faith and tried to maintain his end of the bargain…for a while. I have mixed feelings about this kind of arrangement. It’s the most logical set up as it prevents the boy from getting bored and lets him earn some side income. But the level of trust has to be off the charts and I wouldn’t recommend it for the heartache it can cause when it inevitably fails. 

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, mauRICE said:

 On the other hand, a stay at the Bangkok Hilton might do them some good and give them plenty of time for reflection ....

what floor has  the best views  from your experience ?

[jimmie50]

On 4/5/2026 at 4:48 PM, zoomomancs said:

My experience, over 15 years and some 56 visits to Thailand, is that the families start nagging the man we like for the foreigner to send money for 'urgent' reasons. That is very hard for the man we like to resist. 

Was re-reading this entire thread and came across your post.  Somehow it didn't register with me when I originally read it.  At least according to Cam, his family is under the impression that his job is in construction.  It was originally when he first arrived in Bangkok, and had proper documentation.  He said they are not aware of where he works now or what type of work it is.  If this is actually true, I doubt he would mention 'the foreigner' to them so probably no nagging for money.  

[jimmie50]

On 4/5/2026 at 6:46 PM, daydreamer said:

You could send him a prepaid Visa card with zero balance (or a minimal $5 balance).  Once he receives the Visa card and the PIN number, you could then fund the card, and reload it with funds as you wish.  

I'm sorry if this sounds foolish or stupid...but how would I get the Visa card to him?  I am guessing this would be something I purchase in the states and then would mail to him?  Not sure about the mailing of the card or how exactly to get it to him.   

[jimmie50]

9 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Reading the start of your post above, to be frank I cannot see any Bangkok gay bar willing to accept anyone as an employee if there is the condition "no offs". That is basically the reason for the bars. To make money through regular offs. Drinking with customers takes time, keeps a boy away from being offed by other customers and makes little profit. An off is basically pure profit. Decades ago, if an employee did not gain enough offs over a certain period, he was fired from the bar. Not sure of the situation now.

This was my thinking as well, which is why I assumed I would need to pay an off fee to the bar for the duration.  But it seems like such an arrangement is possible according to other forum members.  And, of course, this would have to be something Cam agreed to as well.  Perhaps it is an understanding between the two parties and the bar is not privy to that information.  The bar boy is polite but discreetly declines any off invitation.  I would be very upset to learn that Hotmale, or any of the bars for that matter had a quota system for the boys regarding a certain number of offs.  Just the idea of that pisses me off!  (excuse my language)