Are gay Thai men faithful?

[kentguy2025]

I met this Thai guy back in November, and we’re due to go travelling together in a couple of weeks. The plan is that I apply for a DTV by September, and he’s also talking about eventually moving in with me.

The long-distance relationship since November has been quite difficult. I sometimes feel like he isn’t fully honest, even about small things. I also don’t really feel very loved by him—for example, I often send him what I think are affectionate or sweet messages, but he rarely responds in the same way. I realise this could potentially be a cultural difference, as this is my first time dating a Thai man, but I’m not sure.

He also goes out at night quite often with friends and is usually unreachable when he’s out. Given perceptions about nightlife in Thailand, I sometimes worry in the back of my mind whether he might be cheating.

I feel confused and unsure about the situation, and I’m trying to understand whether my concerns are valid or if I’m overthinking things.

[vinapu]

3 minutes ago, kentguy2025 said:

 

I feel confused and unsure about the situation, and I’m trying to understand whether my concerns are valid or if I’m overthinking things.

now you may be overthinking although not necessarily so. 

Those are typical pitfalls of long distance relationships and there s no way of escaping those thoughts other than trusting him  or cutting relationship off , sooner the better .

As for messages, don't worry too much about him not sounding sweet enough. It could be more reserved personality or   linguistic and cultural difference. 

 

[kentguy2025]

3 minutes ago, vinapu said:

now you may be overthinking although not necessarily so. 

Those are typical pitfalls of long distance relationships and there s no way of escaping those thoughts other than trusting him  or cutting relationship off , sooner the better .

As for messages, don't worry too much about him not sounding sweet enough. It could be more reserved personality or   linguistic and cultural difference. 

 

I know, I am probably overthinking it, basically I don't want to be wasting either of our time I suppose.

This maybe a really insensitive thing to ask but do they get into relationships with men just for a better life ??

[Travelingguy]

Is the question about whether Thai men are faithful or whether men are faithful?  Perhaps @floridarob should chime in.  I think he has opinions on this subject.

[jimmie50]

4 hours ago, kentguy2025 said:

I realise this could potentially be a cultural difference

I believe this may partially be the case.  I have had two long term relationships, one of which was for ten years with a man from Taiwan.  Eventually we lived together in both the US and in Taiwan, but it initially started as a long distance relationship.  I am currently in a 'situation' with a Cambodian man who  lives in Thailand.  Again, this is a long distance arrangement.  I also have long time Thai friends.  While any relationship requires communication and trust to be successful and long lasting, my experiences have taught me that I cannot expect them to communicate in the exact same manner I am accustomed to or would expect if they were white American men.  If that is your expectation, you are in for a rough road ahead.  There is a big cultural difference, not to mention the language barrier.  Not sure where you are from or your nationality.  Unless your guy is fluent in your native language, you both are probably using a translation app on the phone or computer.  Unfortunately, these are not always completely accurate and the meaning gets garbled or lost completely.  I check, double-check and triple-check everything I send in a message to be sure.  I can translate one sentence three times on the same app and it will come out different all three times.  I believe you are over-thinking the romance piece.  

You didn't say what your guy does for work?  You also didn't mention how you met.  Those pieces of the puzzle might help us respond better to the cheating question.  

Bottom line...all relationships require communication and trust.  Long distance even more so.  

[hank75]

5 hours ago, kentguy2025 said:

if I’m overthinking things.

I don’t think so. Everything you’ve mentioned would be a cause of concern to me. I’ll preface my comments by saying this isn’t a criticism of you but notes from personal experience.

Attributing relationship red flags to “cultural differences” and overlooking them is at best naive, at worst dangerous. 

You’ve given us little information to go on. Where did you meet him? In a bar? Was he formerly or even currently a working boy? Or if you met him on Grindr, has he ever accepted payment for hook ups? Does he have other “partners”? 

5 hours ago, kentguy2025 said:

I also don’t really feel very loved by him—for example, I often send him what I think are affectionate or sweet messages, but he rarely responds in the same way. I realise this could potentially be a cultural difference, as this is my first time dating a Thai man, but I’m not sure.

This could be cultural or simply down to personality. I’m inclined to say it’s only partly cultural. Thai people are known to be indirect or suppress their feelings (especially when it’s confrontational or uncomfortable) but while not communicative, they’re known to be affectionate and if not by words, by actions. Such as showing commitment to the partnership, never flaking out or making unexpected changes, being contactable nearly all of the time, transparent about who they’re going out with. 

It could be personality, there’s nothing wrong with being emotionally reserved. But combined with your suspicion he’s not being honest and being uncontactable on nights out, clearly you feel something isn’t right otherwise you wouldn’t be posting here. Gut feelings shouldn’t be ignored. 

What’s the worst case scenario? He doesn’t have sincere feelings for you at the moment and is with you for his own reasons. Then, do you think he’s genuinely open to building a foundation where his feelings can blossom over time and your worries are slowly erased? There is nothing wrong with this either. 

I’m in agreement with their other members here who have responded. Unless you’re ready to cut things off, there’s no point overthinking things but for your own sake, be observant and don’t keep giving him a free pass based on “cultural differences” 

I expect many of your questions will be answered after spending time together in two weeks. 

 

[hank75]

5 hours ago, kentguy2025 said:

This maybe a really insensitive thing to ask but do they get into relationships with men just for a better life ??

100% but so many shades of grey to this topic and a mutually beneficial relationship isn’t always an insincere one