CurtisD

No travel this year Over the last few weeks flight cancellations have resulted in the termination of all my travel plans through December 31st. Every. Last. Trip. No travel with Bangkok Guy. He is entirely unfazed when I tell him. His expectations of the consequences of Covid have been consistently more realistic than mine and he did not expect we would be traveling this year. “When Covid over, where you want to go? Tokyo or Paris?” Slight smile. ‘When Covid over” - now I am talking sense. A pause to think and then a big smile ‘Tokyo’. Given his dream of visiting Paris, I thought he would go for Paris. However, knowing him, Tokyo makes sense. He is orderly and Tokyo was next on the list. He is realistic and he does not need a visa for Japan, so Tokyo is a more certain bet. “Business good?” He shows me boxes of merchandise in his room. Good quality items for hair and facial care and robotic floor cleaners. He and a couple of friends have moved from selling goods in the market (‘Market still sell egg, small money’) to an online platform. After the call he sends a screen shot of the web platform – in Thai and professional looking – and pictures of more products. “You sell many things” “Yes, with friend, cannot afford by self” Ah, a small hint to attentive ears that financial help would be appreciated. In June when he re-started the market stalls I sent him money under our agreement that if he prays for my business and it does well I will share. Surprisingly in all this mess I have picked up a couple of new accounts. In June it was time to share: if you are the guy with cash at the start of a recovery, there are usually good opportunities. It was a nice surprise for him. On the basis of new business to date I had intended to give him another cash infusion in September. However I want to maintain a clear distinction between the allowance and anything more. The allowance he can rely on. Anything more depends on my business earning extra, so no guarantee. Also I do not want to create the impression that if he hints he gets. I have a new account in development, so I tell him if I land this then I can send him money for business. He has to go to temple and pray that I land account. Back comes a happy sparkly-bunny sticker. A few days later he lines me. This is unusual so soon after last talking. The protocol is that when he sends a text by line I video call back. His face has the uncomfortable look it registers when he is going to discuss something serious, which can be either personal or financial. Personal is only face-to-face, so this must be financial. It is. He has been paying for a tractor for his grandfather. With Covid he has had to tell grandfather that he is short of money for the payment. Tractor will be his when grandfather die. I have heard about this tractor before. “When grandfather die you farm?” A pause indicating this answer is not straightforward. “Yes, when old”. “Until old stay Bangkok do business?” Big smile “Yes” “So what do with tractor until old?” After a lot of testing words we hit on ‘Rent’. He will hire it out. Having indicated that money might be on its way, Bangkok Guy is checking to see that I meant what I said and to drop a hit about the amount that would be helpful. “How much need?” He sends a pic of what looks like a loan statement. He tells me this is the sixth year for which he has been making payments on this tractor. Later I check tractor prices and the outstanding balance is in the right ballpark. His face is so damned earnest and I had intended to send money anyway. “Ok, I send (the same amount I sent in June) but you need go temple pray double-hard for my business” “Yes, I pray” and then his face breaks into an emotional look of happiness and he hunts through his English vocabulary to find the right words which, a word here and a word there, he does. He is very happy that I pay attention and I help him when he has problem. His emotion is very real. And there it is, the first of the three legs of our thee-legged stool relationship: my role. I listen, I pay attention, I help. Each is valuable to him. The second leg is our friendship. We get on well together, we travel together, we are happy in each other’s company. The third leg is his role. When we are together he watches over me continually. He is very alert to my safety. He checks in that I am ok. Unobtrusive but constant. For six weeks after returning from my last trip I had the feeling that something was missing. Finally I worked out that what I was missing was the sense of being watched over. Hopefully my early 2021 trip to Thailand will go ahead. I need watching. If I land the account, I will pay off the loan balance on the tractor for him next year to celebrate our joint birthdays. It is not so much money. I think it will be a weight off his shoulders. My suspicion is that the tractor is something his family has loaded onto him, even if it will eventually be his. The family obligation to pay off the tractor may be the reason we met.

PS. The factors which underwrote the PE multiples breakout from the long term ranges over the late 1990s through early 2000s no longer exist. Productivity growth which had surged above the long term growth trend fell back to historical levels in the mid 2000s. The macro reforms in emerging markets in the 1990s which drove hundreds of millions into the middle classes had tapered off, although not reversed, by the mid 2000s. Globalization, which greatly stimulated growth, is in retreat. We are now back to something like the long term history pre the mid 1990s during which the PE multiple was rarely above 20, with a very uncertain outlook.

Exactly. The attached (I hope) chart of US Base Money would show, if I had the full time series, that: (i) Due to QE in response to the 2008/2009 financial crisis the US stock of Base Money was already at its highest level since the end of WWII pre Covid. (ii) The Fed had begun to slowly unwind this prior to Covid. (iii) Since Covid the Fed has pumped in the cash so that Base Money is now in orbit. The PE ratio of the S&P is now 22.5x compared to a long term average of around 16x which, give the uncertain state of the World, is simply nuts. Its floating on a flood of Fed liquidity which is a very unstable base. As the saying goes, when the tide goes out those not wearing swimsuits are exposed and, as they are not from Issan, it is ugly.

Bangkok Guy has been back in Bangkok since early in the month. His hair looks good, his smile is the same as ever and to me he looks paler than usual, which will make him happy. 'You look white'. He gives me a strange look. Not the eye-squint of 'What you say?' but the startled expression of 'What on earth you say!' 'No, brown.' He turns his phone around so I can see the large light fixture above him. 'Is light'. Still, he is happy I am paying attention. This is the week he thinks he will reopen his sister's market stalls. His room is full of racks of stock, very smart sports shirts. If I lost a couple of decades and a similar number of pounds I'd quite like one. Bangkok Guy has good taste. In common with everyone I know I have put on weight in these months of confinement. This will have to be lost before Bangkok Guy and I next meet. If I don't, I know what to expect. With a look of cheerful insouciance he will put his hand on my stomach - 'baby healthy!' He likes his falang in shape.

Bangkok Guy thinks he will return to Bangkok in a couple of weeks. Line video chat is amusing. He answers, has connection problems and when the connection is re-established his hair looks better. Like us all he is suffering from coiffure deprivation. I have trimmed my hair from the front so on Zoom and Line it looks fine, but from the side and back it must appear risible.

Bangkok Guy has been more prescient about Covid 19 than I have. Shortly after returning from Bangkok I went on a couple of business trips in quick succession. Long haul flights with facemask and sanitizer. Upon returning home in early March I asked him if he wanted to join me in Singapore for a few days in June. “Covid 19, cannot”. I was thinking things may have blown over by then and I still have the tickets, but increasingly I think I will be canceling the trip. When Bangkok went into shut down at the end of March I thought he would probably lose his income from the market stalls, so I sent him an allowance payment for April when none was due (the allowance is every second month) and he was very happy. I have not told him, but I will pay it every month until things normalize. I also asked him if he had any business plans. His Chinese horoscope for 2020 is very strong on business success so I thought I should help him to capitalize on it. A start-up I am advising had just got enough traction to begin to pay Board fees and I thought I would ‘escrow’ part of this new income for Bangkok Guy’s allowance and helping him with his business ideas. The Line exchange was odd. He had several ideas and the idea that there might be money was clearly interesting, as represented by an excited bunny popping its head out of its hole. I said take time to think. There was no follow-through. The next couple of weeks Line exchanges were the usual ‘How are you?’ ‘I am good’ with pictures of rabbits cuddling bears. A couple of days ago I booked his tickets for our October trip and sent him a screen shot. In return I got the longest Line message he has ever sent, a long list of all the destinations to which the Thai Govt has said Thai people should not travel, which included our destination. Bangkok Guy not up for travel!? So I video called him. It was good to see him. Same warm smile. Perspiring a little and dressed and active at 10.30am, so something was afoot. He was outside a trim white and blue painted building on stilts with walkways and more buildings on the edge of a large body of water. Not sure if it was a wide river or lake. A little girl came and chatted to him and he turned the phone around so she could see me. I waved. ‘Not in Bangkok. At sister house. Bangkok scary.’ Now it is clear why there was no follow up on the business discussion. All work stopped and retreated to the ‘safety’ of the countryside. He is finding the news from the rest of the World disturbing, particularly the fact that the US is doing so badly. Maybe no trip this year. So I have booked a trip for next year and hope for the best.

I just checked on Airbnb and there are a number of apartments with pools available at reasonable prices near the Complex. I had a good experience with one a couple of years back. Great view from balcony and no problem with guests.

This looks great. Thanks for the suggestion.

Sightseeing in Bangkok Bangkok Guy and I reunite for a couple of days sightseeing. We begin with the area around the Grand Palace and Wat Pho but find the numbers of tourists oppressive and retreat to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant for a quick bite of pork with noodles (120Bht and very good) before crossing the river to Wat Arun. Since I last visited Wat Arun about fifteen years ago it has enjoyed a facelift and looks very clean and white. I get a kick from the decorations made from old china crockery. Re-crossing the river Bangkok Guy welcomes my suggestion that we sightsee with air conditioning and we decide to go to the Art and Cultural Center near National Stadium BTS to see the exhibitions. In this heavily touristed area the taxis all want no-meter Falang rates which is not how Bangkok Guy rolls. He is Thai person and expects Thai person rates. We take a TukTuk and welcome the breeze. If you have the opportunity to see the exhibition Spectrosynthesis II before it closes March 1st go to see it. The LGBTQ art presented is of very high quality. Bangkok Guy’s reaction to some of the more obviously sexual works is amusing. On encountering them his face registers shock combined with engagement and he emits a quiet, almost unconscious “Oh My God”. “Oh My God” is his standard utterance when faced with something surprising. We each buy the exhibition t-shirt. Bangkok Guy is innately very modest. He still dresses and undresses outside my line of vision. So I wondered what he thought of some of the more explicit works. Over dinner we go through the pics I had taken of various works. The degree to which he liked the works, or not, bore no relationship to how explicit they were. Rather, it corresponded to the degree to which he could relate to the work. Naked Issan boy with two falang, yes. Christ child with two fathers, yes (because he has a soft spot for children). Two Queen-ish Chinese Opera performers, no. We also enjoyed the photo exhibition by Princess Maha Chakri. Quite apart from the professionalism of the images what appealed was the quirkiness of the selection. Sort of ‘scenes from the life’. Not only Thailand, as expected, but shots from overseas visits and even her dog with a massive chew toy. The following day is River Trip day. For some time I have wanted to hire a long tailed boat and explore the river and canals. After discussing prices with operators at Taksin Pier Bangkok Guy asks me what I want to do, his face suggesting that he has a better idea. Following his lead, I decline the 4000Bht requested for a longtail boat and he takes me to the Chao Phraya Express Boat where for 60Bht we get to spend around two hours traveling along the river as far as Nothaburi, where we disembark and wander through the market stalls. One stall has great bonsai. I would really like one but can’t take it back home. “If had apartment here, could have” says Bangkok Guy. On the return trip I notice a woman wearing a lucky bracelet similar to one Bangkok Guy had shown me internet pics of, hinting that a good friend might think of buying him one. I failed to take the hit. I point it out to him and he confirms that yes, this is what he was showing me, although it is a ‘made in China’ replica. Apparently the best ones are real gold and come from China Town, which by coincidence is a stop on the route. We disembark at China Town and Bangkok Guy is excited. These lucky charm bracelets clearly mean a lot to him. The charms are fat hollow gold dragons, the larger the luckier (of course). We are now Shopping, which means a lot of comparisons and China Town has many, many goldsmiths to visit. Unfortunately for Bangkok Guy we arrive at 5.20pm and the shops shut at 6pm. He runs out of time. The problem is that none of the style he likes, a single dragon on a red draw-string cord, are large enough to fit over his hand. With more time he can get one made to fit. I think they are quite stylish and, as it means a lot to him, I happily give him the cash to get one later. I smile to myself that this is also a somewhat unusual business development expense. If the charm brings luck, his prayers will be answered and I will generate more business. Not something I am likely to run past my accountant. Back at the apartment after dinner the long day outdoors and the exposure to the reflected light off the water has left me pink, Bangkok Guy brown and both of us tired. We opt for a nap before going to Bamboo Bar for jazz. As usual, I rise and dress first. Unusually, Bangkok Guy does not want to get up. “You go, I sleep”. This is my last night. At the end of my last visit Bangkok Guy, ever up and cheerful, got a little down. Same thing is happening now. I re-hang my clothes and join him in bed, where we spoon and sleep through until dawn. Writing this, I notice that I refer to Bangkok Guy’s expression a lot. Limitations on verbal communication mean that we watch each other’s face and body language carefully and fairly constantly. The benefit of this is that I think we are pretty aware of each other’s state of mind, enquire and get feedback and get a lot of the basics right. It is probably one of the reasons we get on well. We have tentatively planned the next trip. These days I am a bit inclined to run the business to maximize interest rather than profit, an advantage of my stage of life. In the coming year I am going to drive a lot harder on profit. I had planned to do this anyway, as I felt I had become a little self-indulgent. I now have the additional motivation of needing to provide enough ‘pennies on the dollar’ to make a difference to Bangkok Guy. In particular, I would like to get him the capital to fund one of his (fairly modest) business ideas so that, hopefully, he develops confidence in his ability to build something for himself. He is bright enough and not work-shy. But he has no experience of, or examples of, anyone getting ahead except through relationships with Falang or Chinese. Time for that to change.

It was midweek. Coronavirus was news, but I do not think was to blame for the low numbers as no other clubs (eg Moonlight, Dream Boys) were like this. However, thinking back on it, there was overall a lower number of Chinese at the clubs compared to past visits. The host at Hot Male was amusing. At one point he broke off our conversation to help a new customer. When he returned I did a double-take: he was wearing a mask. He took it off laughing 'Chinese customer'.

Solo Bangkok Interlude Back in Bangkok, Bangkok Guy and I go our separate ways for a few days as both of us are working. This gives me the opportunity to visit the bars over a couple of evenings and my experience highlights how changeable the bars can be. Some of my experience was so far from expectations and past experience that what follows comes with a warning to the uninitiated – do not base your plans on this report! Lucky Boys – First visit I settled in to enjoy watching the parade. Many guys and a range of types from twink to beefy but, unlike previous visits none to my taste. Homely to an extreme. Second visit slightly better, a couple of guys to my taste: I give one 100Bht. Fresh Boys – First visit my plan is to enter, look, and leave without committing to a drink if it appears disappointing. What I find is a large number of guys covering the full twink range from small to swimmer to twunk. Some great smiles and bone structure. Mostly Cambodian, some Lao and Burmese. One guy has striking bone structure and I ask him to sit with me. Very tempting. But after a week with Bangkok Guy, not tempting enough. I give him 200Bt which he accepts graciously although it is not what he was hoping for. Second visit, the same group and I again tip the Cambodian with striking bone structure. Moonlight – First visit, I see the show for the first time and it is very professional, so much so that I stay for the entire show. Finally I see why Babe has so many fans. The rest of the models, not for me. The one who really catches my attention is a non-model performer in two of the acts with a great face (my view) and cropped hair. Very tempting, but he only appears in those two acts. Second visit I arrive before the show and get a better sense for the non-models. Only one appeals and I tip him. No sign of the performer. Jupiter – First visit, 10pm, empty to the point of cavernous darkness! Full staff of waiters. Only about five guys coming on-and-off the stage. Almost no audience. I sit in the ‘VIP’ seats! Spooky. Second visit, 9.30pm and the VIP seats close to the stage are empty but reserved. Thin crowd, about ten guys on rotation, none of whom grab my attention. Banana – I spot Banana as I leave after the first disappointment at Jupiter. Up the stairs and I should have followed the view-first buy-drink-later strategy, but I am not concentrating. About ten slender guys but none that appeal. As with Lucky Boys homely to an extreme. Dream Boys – First visit, I catch the last couple of rotations before the show starts. A range of types. Show is too slow paced, although the diva is good. As another member has noted, she looks like Eartha Kitt. Someone should tell her: I think she could channel Eartha well. Three guys really appeal to me. But it dawns on me that I would rather be being silly in front of Japanese TV with Bangkok Guy than having a romp with a random hot guy. My butterfly wings are Toast. Second visit the three guys who appealed the first time are not there and only one replacement with the same appeal. Screw Boys – I make two visits on the same night. One too early, a fraction before 9pm, finds about six guys plus a couple playing drinking games. Mamma san is pleasantly chatty and says too early, come back around 10pm. I return about 10.15pm to a full house but also the middle of the drag show so not so easy to see the twenty-plus guys. A couple have nice faces but they need feeding. Hot Male – Had a good conversation with the host with the vampyric incisors, whom I like. Business slow. Chinese not have so much money. Even Chinese New Year had been slow. One guy really got my attention. From Issan, swimmer-ish build, great smile and wearing tight jeans that revealed great promise. The host caught the direction of my gaze (it was pretty obvious) and with great enthusiasm said “Yes, like can!” shaping his hands into something between a Red Bull and a Beer can. I tipped the guy generously, but went no further – silliness with Bangkok Guy in front of Japanese TV retained its appeal. I am truly Toast. Happy Toast, but Toast.

Per person. There are three companies operating balloons and all have a very good safety record. Our pilot was very experienced. No concerns at all.

Competition has not lowered the price. Around $375 from memory. Totally agree.

Manila I do not like. However, the areas of natural beauty might be interesting as he likes the outdoors. Malaysia I have not considered as my understanding is that it is not gay friendly?

Hank, thanks for this thread. Great idea. I am very interested on anyone's experiences taking a friend to Japan, Hong Kong/Marcu and Taiwan. Also, if there are natural points of beauty / adventure anyone can recommend. Bangkok Guy is keen on nature. One of his holiday pics is he and friends riding a small whitewater stream on what look like pieces of bark.

Early to Bed and Very Early to Rise Around 9.30pm Bangkok Guy drops the hint that we should go sleep. Early morning tomorrow. The ‘farmer’ framing of the schedule is working. As agreed, I get up at 4.15am. Bangkok Guy follows at 4.45am and we are at reception to meet our driver and fellow passengers by 5.15am. Pre-dawn at the launch site it is slightly chilly despite hot coffee. Then the excitement starts as we walk onto the launch field and watch the balloons inflate. It is an impressive sight. Crouching in the basket as we gently take off Bangkok Guy is grinning ear-to-ear. The ensuing fifty minute flight I absolutely recommend. We fly low and the pilot rotates the basket so we see the low-angled dawn light illuminating the temples and the early mist. Each ‘couple’ has their own little compartment and Bangkok Guy and I trade positions for photo ops. In addition to the temples and the broader view, the sight of around 31 balloons from three different companies all aloft in the same breeze is quite something. The major event of the trip is over all too soon and we are back by the pool for an early breakfast, pouring over the photos. The rest of the day is allotted to resting by the pool and some work for me as the internet connection is good. Our pilot was a font of local information and we take his advice for dinner that evening and a half day excursion the next morning. The in-flight magazine of the local airline featured an article on a group of temples perched on top of a dramatic volcanic plug with the appearance of rising sheer into the air from nowhere. It turns out to be an hour and a half’s drive away. It looks so surreal that we are both keen to go. After a leisurely 9am start we are soon moving at a moderate pace on a somewhat undulating road through trees interspersed with small scale agriculture. At about the half way mark the tress and scrub stay but signs of cultivation disappear – possibly an irrigation issue or a soil deficiency? The forest covered volcanic cone and the associated plug come into view and soon the road ascends sharply, winding along the forest covered hillside. As we approach, the volcanic plug with its crown of temples is as surreal and unexpected as it appeared in the in-flight magazine. Many locals are using these temples, as was also the case with the larger group of temples we visited on our first day. While this complex has only 777 steps to the summit, they are much steeper, particularly two flights of steel steps. The faithful are undeterred. An elderly and quite heavy matron is carried up and back in a hammock attached to a bamboo pole. The monkeys are a complication. The ascent must be undertaken barefoot. The golden brown monkeys are cute. People feed them, so they cluster around the path and do what well fed-and-watered monkeys do. Do Do. A better prepared couple are wiping their feet with sanitary wipes post-descent. I do not mention these observations to Bangkok Guy. The steps look quite clean. At intervals we encounter cleaners who request tips. Bangkok Guy is keeper of the tip money and I suggest to him that tips are a good idea. He is not quite sure why, but tips one cleaner. At the start of our descent a monkey releases quite a discharge of urine in front of us. The look of quiet horror and realization on Bangkok Guys face is a picture. Though the steps look clean, we are all probably walking on a miasma of monkey pee and poop. Bangkok Guy is particular about cleanliness. He descends with a grim face (grim for him, he does not really have a ‘grim’ face), tipping each cleaner. “Good from distance, too many monkey” is his summary. A surprise hit is the TV at our hotel. It has HBO’s ‘Red’ channel, which I have not encountered before. I watch very little TV, but am hooked on the Japanese drama and mystery programs. Bangkok Guy enjoys them as well and also finds much entertainment in my new interest in TV and the opportunity it affords to indulge in silly horseplay – fighting over the pillows as we sit on the bed, stealing the remote, shrieking at tense plot points to see me jump out of my skin. In summary: Balloon ride: huge smile, “Really good”. Large area of temples: good. Temples-on-plug: set- face-with-nose-wrinkle, “Monkey”. Food: “Thai food better”. The real issue with the food was that it was de-spiced to make safe for Falang and, unlike Laos, he could not communicate to get it re-spiced.

Reading this I feel like Bangkok Guy reacting to my suggestion that he pray for success for my business "How you know this falang?" Next round is as you mention, substituting Hong Kong/Macau for South Korea as he has been there.

Flew Bangkok to Mandalay and then to Bagan. There is plenty in Mandalay for 2-3 days at a 'farmers' pace. Mandalay Hill you can short circuit the whole 1,729 steps and take a tuk tuk to almost the top and then an elevator right into the main temple on the top. Not that many tourists in Mandalay. More tourists in Bagan (or possibly just a smaller area to concentrate them in), but not enough to worry about. Apparently the Rohinga situation has reduced tourist numbers generally, particularly from the US. Enough to delay plans to develop a number of up-market chain hotels in Bagan. Go now before that changes. A few Chinese, Japanese and Koreans and the occasional Indian family. Interestingly, a number of Burmese tourists in both places. As we were there only a short time we ate at our hotels, with one exception, so did not really get a feel for local food. However, from that limited exposure, there are both 'knock-offs' of Thai dishes and Burmese dishes which look similar. Bangkok Guy ate it happily with the comment that the spice level needed to be higher. He thought it had been de-spiced for falang. Bagan I would go. Does Ayutthaya have balloons? That could be a draw for your friend.

Right on both. No reluctance to visit Myanmar at all. He has friends from Myanmar in Bangkok. We encountered no hostility from the locals. The only odd thing was that when I asked him if he had told his friends where he was going, the reply was yes-with-a-shuffle. Turns out the friend he had not told was the one from Myanmar. The reason was lost in translation, but I think it was something along the lines of his friend would want to come and could not, so better not to tell. Discussing the next trip, he does not want to go to Cambodia. His official reason is that I have been there, so why go again? The actual reason is that he is keen to travel to places that are both more modern and more distant. I think he may feel that Laos, Myanmar and Cambodia are too much like visiting secondary parts of Thailand without the benefit of Thai people to talk to and Thai food to eat. He is quietly adventurous, so he would rather forgo the familiarity of home for something exotic (to him) and modern (he is a Bangkok person).

Our Destination After dropping our bags in the room we return to reception to organize the next day. All the guidebooks suggest that the mode of transport de rigueur is bicycle or scooter or horse-drawn cart. I had prepped Bangkok Guy for this and he assured me he could handle each of them. However, after seeing the spread of illuminated temples from the airplane and the location of the hotel on the map, I enquire about the decadent uncool option: a car with driver and aircon for half a day. The price is very reasonable and Bangkok Guy is clearly relieved that I am unafraid to embrace the uncool. For the afternoon we book spa treatments, a head massage for me and a full-body oil massage for him. His legs were feeling the 1,729 steps. He was a bit uncertain though. Unlike Laos, here he cannot be our spokesman. We have to rely on English. Food he manages with a Google Translate app that translates the print on the menu. Spoken is difficult. He wants ‘Boy Massage’, the reference being deep tissue rather than gender. He is uncertain this is what he is going to get. Next day, the car is an excellent decision. The temples are fairly widely disbursed, not all roads are paved and many of the paved roads are under repair, creating a lot of dust in parts. Aside from the physical exertion in the heat, a covering of grime and dust would drive Bangkok Guy insane. His complexion must be clear at all times. Each reflective surface encountered during the day is used to ensure continued perfection. Least that last statement lead anyone to think Bangkok Guy is a delicate primping person, far from it. He is very boy-next-door and down to earth. He does however have youth’s needless insecurity about appearances. From the guidebook I give Bangkok Guy a little information on each temple – age, style etc. This is not really of much interest to him, although he adopts a polite ‘listening face’. His interest is in the practical application of so many temples. As he did in Laos, Bangkok Guy offers a prayer in each temple, now possibly with a little additional motivation. Before leaving Bangkok we had a ‘budget’ discussion. I made a monthly spreadsheet showing the allowance we agreed, the wage his sister pays him for running the market stall and his expenses. It was a revealing exercise. Then I added three sections. - One for his own business, as a motivation to start something. - One showing my estimate of the cash he will need to have in the bank to prove he can support himself in Paris for a week to get a Visa. After places to which he can travel without a visa, Paris is top of the list. He thinks he will never have enough money to be given a visa. The spreadsheet suggests that with a bit of effort he probably can. Another attempt at motivation. - One indicating that if my business does well (additional revenue) I will give him something. Think pennies on the dollar. His role is to pray for the success of my business. He spends a lot of time concentrating on the spreadsheet and understanding its implications. His main takeaways are revealing. The fact that it covers both 2020 and 2021 gives him great satisfaction. He really yearns for stability. Starting his own business and putting enough aside to get a visa he wants to believe, but does not. The budget shows that without the allowance he is hand-to-mouth and possibly slightly in deficit. This has been his life’s experience. Confidence needs to be built in his ability to change it. When he understands the ‘prayer’ part he looks at me with wide-eyed almost startled disbelief. “How you know that what we pray for?!” It is universal, My Dear Watson. Hence the additional motivation to take advantage of so many temples. After a very successful morning, both aesthetic and spiritual, we take lunch by the pool and, as good farmers, rest before heading to the spa. My head massage is great. Bangkok Guy is very careful to tip the masseuses. He is always careful to tip, without tipping to kill. This time it becomes clear that, to him, tipping is respect more than financial or a response to good service. Once we are away from the spa he admits the massage was not want he wanted. “Girl massage. Tiny hands. Only stroke”. He still has 1,729-step leg.

I thought I would create some interest and let you guys figure it out. There will be enough clues.

Our First Stop Bangkok Guy and I have struck a deal on scheduling. In Bangkok we sleep late, stay up late. If we are traveling somewhere where sightseeing is the main thing, with little nightlife, we pretend we are farmers. Up early to feed the chickens, rest after lunch to allow food to settle, then maybe more rest or more sightseeing, up to us, and early to bed. In the morning Bangkok Guy more or less happily rises to feed the chickens and we are on time at 7am for the taxi to the airport. As usual, once we are on our way he lies down and rests his head in my lap. “My job is human pillow?” “Yes” he smiles. As usual he rests his head on my shoulder in the plane and in the taxi at the other end. This is just the way things roll, so after a couple of observations I will stop mentioning it and you can simply assume that any time we are in a taxi or plane, I am manfully accepting my role as Human Pillow. Bangkok Guy uses me as a pillow for two reasons I think and one of them is not that I am well-padded and comfy. The first is his default state of rest. If there is nothing immediately requiring his attention, he goes into rest mode, which possibly includes a nap. I am convenient and reasonably comfortable to nap on. The second is his need for attention. I have noticed that he likes babies and young children. I once commented on it and he said yes, with a follow up comment that he wished he was a baby. Why? They get all the attention. He likes it when I pay attention to him. If he rests on me, he has my attention. After touch-down the priority is a late lunch, which we have on the hotel’s garden terrace. The weather is warm but fresher and much less humid than Bangkok. This is a waystation en route to our main destination, so while there are many sights to see we only have around a day split between today’s early afternoon arrival and an evening departure tomorrow. Sticking to the scheduling agreement we are on Farmers’ time not Falang time, so a large lunch needs to be followed by rest before the exertion of seeing the sights. The combination of lunch and residual jet lag converts what was intended as a quick nap into a deep sleep. I wake to a pretty sunset. No sightseeing today. Bangkok Guy is awake and watching TV. “Why you no wake me?” “You sleep. Need relax.” I just smile. His logic will always be that I need to relax more and the benefits of a healthy sleep come before seeing old/odd/foreign sights. In the morning we are up and out early to see the sights. The morning air is quite fresh, although the day warms quickly. On a map the distance between the hotel and the morning’s targets looks very walkable and we set out boldly. Our confidence wains after a couple of blocks. I see if holding the map in the direction we are going helps orientation. After staring at the map Bangkok Guy declares “I follow you!” “You’re taking a risk.” “I know.” I swat him with the map. After another block we identify a landmark. All is well. Bangkok Guy is not all that impressed by what we see. It is either a bit run down or “like temple in home town, but smaller”. The history does not concern him. His response is based on a purely visual appraisal of what is in front of him. We next tackle the 1,729 steps to the top of the hill to gain merit, visit the temples and enjoy the view. Back at the foot of the hill we have a very late lunch on the hotel’s garden terrace. There is one temple left to see, across the other side of the city, with an image of the Buddha reputedly made in his lifetime (although probably not). “We go see temple?” “If you want”. “We rest?” “Up to you”. The face and body language is that he will happily do what I want, but resting is the best idea. My “Ok, we rest” is received with a wide smile. “Rest good. Falang and here he uses two fingers to indicate rapid walking no rest, die. Here he uses his fingers to indicate alternate walking and resting is best” So we enjoy the hotel garden until it is time to go to the airport and my life expectancy improves.

Christmas Shopping The next day, after a leisurely morning we head out for lunch at Papaya followed by Christmas Shopping. With Bangkok Guy ‘Shopping’ is capitalized. He really enjoys Shopping. Not the spending of money, he is frugal, but the hunting and looking and comparing. It is the one area in which we are truly different people. We go to Papaya via the Silom Complex so that he can go to the bank. I decided to give him half the agreed annual allowance up-front, followed by payments every second month. The lump sum came as a pleasant surprise. As he comes out of the bank I see he has three receipts. “What did you do with the money?” 20% went to his mother, 40% paid off half a loan and 40% he kept. I ask about the loan. His friend in Pattaya with a Chinese boyfriend lent him the money a year ago, around the time Bangkok Guy’s family finances took a turn for the worse. “He rich. Not worry about money. Live in boyfriend house and rent house back home” Bangkok Guy informs me with approval. A potential insight into Bangkok Guy’s aspirations. After lunch we head to Siam Paragon. To short-circuit further discussions of tower blocks and eternal wedded bliss I decide the easiest thing is to give Bangkok Guy cash for Christmas and let him pick what he wants. The obvious downside to this is that once the cash is in his hands he will have other things to do with it and there will be some small attempt to get me to pay for purchases. There is also an emotional angle. He likes me to approve of things and then buy them for him – then they come from me. First stop is H&M where he zeros-in on white t-shirts. I had no idea there was so much to white t-shirts. He checks the cloth, the seams. He finds some 100Bt cheaper than others for no apparent reason and calls over an assistant for questioning. After around forty minutes he has three white t’s. During this process he has been checking in on me. Last time we went shopping my stomach was upset which did not improve my mood. Today my stomach is fine and while shopping bores me I find Bangkok Guy’s total immersion in the process entertaining, so all is well. Then he uncovers another cache of white-t’s. These are a Henley pattern. Long sleeves with three buttons at the front. I think they are very smart and, to avoid a further forty minutes of deliberation, offer to buy him one. A purple note changes hands and he is smiling. I have admired him in it and bought it for him, very emotionally satisfying. On to UniQlo where they are stocking the shelves with a new line of soft drawstring shorts. After the usual deliberation and seeking my opinion he selects three pairs before heading to the fitting rooms from which he emerges to give me a fashion show of the shorts with the H&M t’s. As always he looks very smart in a simple clean cut way. On the way to the cash register he tries on a kaki sun hat, which frames his face perfectly. “Very cute, I buy for you”. Another purple note changes hands. It turns out to be a great buy. He wears the hat pretty constantly during our travels and looks very cute.

Bangkok Since the last trip Bangkok Guy and I have added Line video chat to communication-by-sticker. Given our linguistic deficiencies, ‘chat’ is a bit of an over-statement. It is more face-reading – we both get to see that the other is well and happy. Apart from struggling through Chinese tour groups blocking the entrance to immigration while they receive their collective instructions, my journey is uneventful, just as I like it. After a brief nap I am up and bouncing and head for breakfast on the hotel’s riverside terrace. Over breakfast it dawns on me that I have not really thought through this choice of hotel. The concept is good. Find a relaxing spot by the river where we can spend a couple of days before we travel doing nothing except sitting by the pool while I get over jet lag. The execution, well, I must have been busy with something else when I booked this. The hotel is very nice. But the pool is crowded with families with kids. Exactly what I avoid. No quiet swimming of laps here. Bangkok Guy arrives in the evening and after dropping his bag in the room we head to Vertigo for a joint birthday dinner. After bringing each other up-to-date (he is working for his sister who, after genealogical enquiry, is actually his much older cousin) I ask him what he would like for Christmas. I had said I would get him something. He looks at me as though I am quite odd. “Cannot say. Has to be surprise.” Surely Falang you realize this? “In my family we ask each other, so that people get what they want”. His face lights up – “Get what want?” I see where this is going but keep a straight face “Yes, what you want?” Bangkok Guy elaborately holds out his hand, spreads his fingers and strokes his ring finger. “You want another finger? Why you want six fingers?” “Noooo” he says, tilting his head back and rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. Think of something else. “What I really want?” again with that twinkle in the eye. “Yes”. He points – “That what I want”. I try to follow his finger. “….. What?” “Building”. He is pointing to a tower block. I'll ask for such simple things when my birthday occurs Two apartment buildings that are labeled "Hers and Hers" I am dining with Eartha Kitt. A waiter passes carrying a cake with candles and soon ‘Happy Birthday’ breaks out a few tables away. “You want?” A definite no from Bangkok Guy “I too shy”. “You want?” he asks me. No. Not my thing. Toward the end of the meal I get a surprise business call, which I have to take. I signal sorry to Bangkok Guy. It takes a while. Once I am off the phone we turn to dessert. That is Bangkok Guy turns to dessert. He is very keen on dessert. I usually do not eat dessert but, to enable Bangkok Guy to indulge while retaining face, the etiquette is one dessert with two spoons, with my spoon receiving much less use than his. Bangkok Guy signals to the waiter and what arrives is not the dessert menu but a birthday cake and the whole song-and-dance. “How they know?” Bangkok Guy signals complete lack of knowledge. I know that too-innocent look. Surprisingly it is fun and once he sees my grin Bangkok Guy is very happy. We enjoy the cake. The check arrives and I decide the waiter deserves a decent tip. Bangkok Guy sees me add the 1000Bt note and his face turns into a series of question marks before politely but decisively taking charge and taking the check folder from me. His next shock is the bill. It is a stunner. A little over 9000Bt including service fee and taxes with no alcohol. You pay for that view. He, very sweetly, tells me how we will handle this. First, there is already 10% service fee. He will handle tip. Waiter will be happy. If I handle tip, waiter die of shock. You want kill waiter? Second, we now eat Thai. (We do). He tips 200Bt and the waiter is indeed happy and, what is more, lives to enjoy the 200Bt. Back on the ground I tell him he was correct. I will now follow his lead on tipping (I do). “In Thailand is already service fee. Save 800Bt”. Bangkok Guy is very happy with his contribution to the evening.

Funny how this happens Great report thanks.