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Daily Rate Woes

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Posted

I'm new to coming to Thailand and experiencing the Bangkok bar scene. My first trip was a few months ago and it was a bit rocky - a few duds but I managed to click with a Lao boy from a bar in Silom.

For the record, this is a straight guy. He's not the star of his bar - has a decent slim body and average looks but he made up for it by being enthusiastic with a good attitude while the more gorgeous boys were acting stuck up and aloof.

We did short time then dinner and exchanged social media details but I left Thailand the next day. Back at home, we would be in contact semi-regularly and we did some video chatting about when I was coming back.

During one of our calls, he brought up me paying him 5,000 baht a day to spend time with me. I expressed that 5K a day was an exorbitant amount but that we should wait to discuss it more in person to which he agreed.

He never explicitly asked me to send money in my months away from Thailand but always sent messages or posted statuses complaining about there not being customers, having to eat mama noodles every day, working night after night with no financial windfall, etc. but is always posting pictures and videos out with his buds drinking, clubbing or at karaoke.

So fast forward to this week, I'm in Bangkok. He meets me at my hotel, we go out for a meal, come back and have a fun night but come the morning he brings up the sordid topic of coin again.

I'm here for a month, the bar fine is 500 baht per day which comes out to 15k baht and he lowered his fee to 4k baht a day. I counter-offered to pay him 2.5K a day, plus covering all his daily expenses. I should also mention that his birthday is going to fall on a day while I'm in country (confirmed true by his ID card) and he's already asked me what I'm going to get him as a present.

This changed the mood and he got pouty. I tried explaining that I'm here for 30 days and that this is a guaranteed 75k (on top of me paying for everything plus his bday gift) instead of having to stand on his feet all night praying for a customer during low season but he insisted on 4k.

He said he was leaving and asked me to pay him 5,000 baht. There's no way in heck I actually owed him that much for one night but I just forked it over to avoid problems.

I walked him downstairs and while we were outside, he said he was hungry and I offered to treat him to food again. After eating we passed a barbershop and he wanted to get a haircut so I gave him money for that, too, while I sat and waited for him.

He then wants to rest back my hotel because he was tired and upon arriving to my room, he flops on the couch fully dressed facing away from me and starts to watch tik tok videos on his phone and then falls asleep.

I suppose this is because he lives in a hovel of an apartment with no AC so staying with me is better than going back there. He stays like that for hours while I do work on my laptop until he gets up to go back to his apartment and so he can go back to work at the bar.

He holds out his hand and asks for taxi money, which I did not give. I made up an excuse about how I needed to hit the ATM and I'd reimburse him later. 

After he leaves in a huff, I'm left scratching my head with a bad taste in my mouth after my first day back in Thailand. 

Any advice from more learned forum members? Was I being a cheapskate? He has a few friends at the bar who live in his same building so it could be a losing face/competition thing among them but don't know for sure.

Posted

2500 baht is the current short time rate for a guy from bar in Silom.

And since short time generally means around 2 to 3 hours, to expect a guy to accept 2500 baht to stay with customer for one full day (even if it's for 2 weeks) is too little.

Posted

Geez, so many to pick what to say. Luckily, most people here already says a lot so ill try to cover what people havent said yet. 

First. No request of money by text when you are at home, but keep complaining about no customer. For me, if the guy is one of my regular guy, thats something i would appreciate to know. But since you've only took him once, so if its were me, id be put off already. Even guy who i took once, but kept bugging me daily to come to his bar, would make me think twice revisiting him on the same trip lol but this is just me. Like @ichigo mentioned above, why settle with one guy when there are so many choices in bangkok?

Second. Requesting to spend a day with him for 5k. Not sure if i miss anything, but from reading your post, he asked you to spend a day with him for 5k, or did he asked to spend your whole trip with you for 5k a day? Or did he just mentioned his day rate is 5k and you assumed/ or you yourself wanted to take him for the whole month? Anyway, why i asked might have something to do with his refusal to negotiate the rate.

If he is the one who asked you to take him off bar for your whole trip which is a month, i figure he should be more willing to accept a discount. I dont want to go into how much money is worth the rate for hin as i know nothing about him and his quality of service and i dont think all guys in the bars should only charge a fixed rate, regardless how popular they are. You yourselves should be the best person to judge how much he is worth for you, or how much you are willing to pay him for his company.

If you were the one that asked him about staying with you for the whole 30 days when he brought up the daily rate topic, then before he even want to think about accepting lower rate, he probably think about all the things he need to change, any plans or future customer who already told him they are coming, or maybe a trip back home for a sister birthday he might miss etc so his 4k a day request might be what he think the rate that is worth all the trouble. As you say, he is straight, so spending a month with another guy might not be his first choice, despite the money, unless the money is worth the hassle.i suppose?

Third. Did you go further in details with him what does staying for a whole day really means? Basically the arrangement. How many sex a day? What is your plan for the day and the night? Will he need to pack his clothes and basically move in with you and stay for the whole month, or he is allowed to go back to his apartment daily? Seems like petty but i think this discussion is important to have before i even consider taking someone on a long term hire. Usually if its my regular, a lot of these questions i already know the answer to, and he probably already know what im expecting of him too, so my discussion will probably more on logistical things during daytime. And by having this discussion, you could see his reaction on your demands and plans, and can probably see if hiring him all day long term is a good thing or not. Going straight to negotiating rate for me, is a tad forward and seems to tell him that he cant do anything to earn more, just what you are willing to pay. 

Lastly, all the behaviour you see after you insist and 2.5k and him at 4k, i see that as he already gave up on the idea of you hiring him daily, in fact maybe even for you to continue to be his customer, so he just taking as much as he can before he bails, or you bails, whichever comes first. 

If you still want him, he would just stick to that 5k overnight rate you gave him. If not, at least he already extracted as much baht as he can from you so he can move on too. To him, why stick to one customer when  there plenty more to come.

My advise, only do long term hire with someone you are already comfortable with, and have hired few times overnight or have taken a short trip once or twice before. And be clear with your expectation when hiring him longer term. And on the price, if both of you cant arrived to the same agreement, move on. He clearly did. I know we want the boys to understand our logic of bulk discount but im sure he also has some doubts that there will be all smooth sailing for the whole 30 days so that 75k you consider as guaranteed income, for him, might not be guaranteed as he only knows you for merely 1 night and one short time before.

 

Posted
12 hours ago, floridarob said:



I give OP credit to have the 🏀🏀 to write honestly about his day.... I'm sure everyone's blood pressure was going up at each step, thinking how they'd never do that, when in reality some would do exactly the same and never talk about it, lol

+1

 

Posted
4 hours ago, spoon said:

Even guy who i took once, but kept bugging me daily to come to his bar, would make me think twice revisiting him on the same trip lol but this is just me.

 

not just you , rest assured

Posted
6 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

No different paying say FloridaRob or Vinapu 5k a day

For you 5k a day.... anyone else, paying for dinner is sufficient, I can't speak for @vinapu but I know he has more pockets to fill and eats at fancy 7* restaurant  😉

 

 

6 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

just like the real estate agent who wants to sell my apartment who called me a friend

Is he the one that told you to remodel your bathroom?

 

Posted
9 hours ago, zoomomancs said:

After taking a man for two 3 night trips away from Bangkok and paying him 4,000 bt a day I was ready to spend some time alone. He asked if I would like to continue taking him at 2,000 bt a day (plus the bar fine for the bar of course). I didn't continue with him but we parted on good terms and I have taken him off since. I'm not suggesting driving their price down but I'm sure they look at the entire package we're offering eg. Are we going somewhere interesting and fun and having a good time? Are we easy going in the room and let them sleep when they want? Do we involve them in decisions about what we're doing and where we're eating?  

4k a day for holiday together seems fair price to pay.

Posted

It's possible to see the situation from his perspective regarding the pricing. What you're asking for appears to involve more extensive demands than a standard bar interaction. The request for what sounds like: 30 consecutive days of engagement, with a new customer, with daily BFE, from a straight man, and in a non-native language, sounds like a significant commitment. This could explain why only a minor reduction in his rate might not be appealing

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