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Olddaddy

I wonder why gays are easily offended

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Posted

If I may change direction just a tad and speak about our Thai friends....

One thing they don't seem to respond to is  teasing, even when it is gentle and affectionate. Teasing is something that I have been used to all my life, perhaps because I was the youngest (and best looking) of three. OK, I made that last bit up.

Here in Thailand I've seen abject failures in attempted teasing by falang visitors and expats, well-meant but utterly bemusing to Thais. At least those on the scene.  Is it cultural? linguistic? I don't know. When I've gently  teased younger folk at home, those I know well of course,  they've usually responded with a smile. Some of the smarter would tease back.

But tease a Thai? I'd never do this; Thais just don't seem to "get it" and appreciate the affection behind it.

Posted

For some years I went to bars to Sundays with a long time friend. He seemed to love teasig the boys, most of whom hadn't a clue what he was saying and some were certainly uncomfortable. I tied so many times to get him to stop, but it must have been ingrained in his DNA.

Posted
5 hours ago, Londoner said:

...But tease a Thai? I'd never do this; Thais just don't seem to "get it" and appreciate the affection behind it.

I would on my scant anecdotal evidence say it's societal, as reactions from Laotian, Cambodian or Vietnamese boys and girls is they get it and follow along; caveat being language skills. Maybe something to do with being former French Colonies or a Protectorate.

 

Posted

You may be right; English humour can be pretty brutal, even as far back to the time of Chaucer. Perhaps the "softer" culture of Buddhism is at play here.  I recall my partner being cross with me when I made a remark to him about the appearance of a guy in a bar. I thought it was witty; he didn't.

Posted
6 hours ago, Mavica said:

There's English humour?  🙃

We (mostly) have a fairly gentle, self-depreciating, sense of humour that can even be lost on other countries far closer to home than SEA 😂.

But back to the thread, I have been for numerous walks along the Complex and Dongtan Beach in the past, noticing the Thais are the ones usually smiling, whereas the exPats all-too-often are the ones looking as miserable as sin (although I thankfully know one or two very honourable exceptions 🤣).

As a (n all-too-short) holiday visitor, I have never understood why that is so?; maybe related to age, health, wealth, or simply just jaded by having spent too much time  in our gay 'Paradise'? 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Vessey said:

We (mostly) have a fairly gentle, self-depreciating, sense of humour that can even be lost on other countries far closer to home than SEA 😂.

But back to the thread, I have been for numerous walks along the Complex and Dongtan Beach in the past, noticing the Thais are the ones usually smiling, whereas the exPats all-too-often are the ones looking as miserable as sin (although I thankfully know one or two very honourable exceptions 🤣).

As a (n all-too-short) holiday visitor, I have never understood why that is so?; maybe related to age, health, wealth, or simply just jaded by having spent too much time  in our gay 'Paradise'? 

Yes many miserable looking expats ..many sit by themselves in bars and don't talk

I noticed this only in the gay community though...the straight areas the expats are happy 😊 

Posted
On 3/25/2026 at 8:54 AM, Londoner said:

If I may change direction just a tad and speak about our Thai friends....

One thing they don't seem to respond to is  teasing, even when it is gentle and affectionate. Teasing is something that I have been used to all my life, perhaps because I was the youngest (and best looking) of three. OK, I made that last bit up.

Here in Thailand I've seen abject failures in attempted teasing by falang visitors and expats, well-meant but utterly bemusing to Thais. At least those on the scene.  Is it cultural? linguistic? I don't know. When I've gently  teased younger folk at home, those I know well of course,  they've usually responded with a smile. Some of the smarter would tease back.

But tease a Thai? I'd never do this; Thais just don't seem to "get it" and appreciate the affection behind it.

I'm pretty sure it's a mix of 2 things: language proficiency and culture. 

Teasing no doubt exists in Thai society as in any society. It's deep within homo sapiens behaviour. But culture shapes the circumstances as to when it is appropriate to tease and when it is not. Just as different cultures have different rules as to when/who can use first names (or nicknames) as opposed to more formal names, or when/who may speak first in a social gathering, or eat first in a meal setting, or who one should greet first when entering a room, or even when/who can use "Vous" and "tu", so different societies have different unspoken rules about when/who is appropriate for teasing.

Secondly, when someone says something to you in a foreign language which you are not entirely fluent in, even when it possibly sounds like teasing, you can never be quite sure what was intended. Or, it's very easy to misunderstand. So, quite often, one freezes and tries not to react at all. Basically, the safe rule is not to tease unless both parties are using the same language they're fluent in.

Posted
10 hours ago, Vessey said:

exPats all-too-often are the ones looking as miserable as sin

As we age, not only do womens tits and mens balls sag.....so do our faces.

Is why it's called a facelift.......

Many people are in their own thoughts just going about life, however, I agree there are more than normal grumpy people in Pattaya..... not a place I could live, 10-14 days I've had enough and ready to move on, couldn't imagine living there....I think a lot of people  move there thinking it'll be paradise, then reality sets in 🥺

Posted
1 hour ago, floridarob said:

As we age, not only do womens tits and mens balls sag.....so do our faces.

Is why it's called a facelift.......

Many people are in their own thoughts just going about life, however, I agree there are more than normal grumpy people in Pattaya..... not a place I could live, 10-14 days I've had enough and ready to move on, couldn't imagine living there....I think a lot of people  move there thinking it'll be paradise, then reality sets in 🥺

Fantastic post and so true !

Posted
59 minutes ago, caeron said:

 

Some of us just have resting bitch face.

Lol

Reminds when I was checking into the Tartawan hotel a few weeks ago...I was waiting at the counter and the lady said to me " do you want to use the toilet ?

Here I was standing behind another customer and I had my luggage sitting next to me !🧳🧳

What ! I said.

"I'm waiting to check in !!" I said quite irate 

She said " oh I thought you wanted to use the toilet?🚽🚽

The male customer in front of me looked back at me and laughed 

I said "I must have a face like I want to do a shit ??😲😲😲

Why the fuck would I be standing at the check in counter of the hotel second in line with luggage 🧳 and she looks over his shoulder to ask that question to me ?

I must had one of those faces which looked like I wanted to do a ... Shit !

Posted
14 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

Lol

Reminds when I was checking into the Tartawan hotel a few weeks ago...I was waiting at the counter and the lady said to me " do you want to use the toilet ?

Here I was standing behind another customer and I had my luggage sitting next to me !🧳🧳

What ! I said.

"I'm waiting to check in !!" I said quite irate 

She said " oh I thought you wanted to use the toilet?🚽🚽

The male customer in front of me looked back at me and laughed 

I said "I must have a face like I want to do a shit ??😲😲😲

Why the fuck would I be standing at the check in counter of the hotel second in line with luggage 🧳 and she looks over his shoulder to ask that question to me ?

I must had one of those faces which looked like I wanted to do a ... Shit !

Perhaps she was a good judge of character?

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