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flashbarryallen

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flashbarryallen last won the day on July 14

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  1. During my trip to BKK in June/July, I went to a host bar called Changsha Chill. I threw a private party with a bunch of guys there. The owner was nice enough to have one of the guys pick me up from my hotel. Granted he was late, but he was handsome and charming, so I didn't let it bother me too much. At the party, he was having a good time as we all were, though some of the guys felt a bit awkward being in their underwear, including the driver guy. Thankfully alcohol made everyone a lot more comfortable as the night went on. The next day, I reached out to the guy who picked me up and asked if he would be up for meeting at my hotel. I had actually read about him in this forum and wanted to experience what I read for myself. When he arrived, the best way I could describe him was tweaked out, as if he had been using drugs. I'm not around people who use drugs much, so I couldn't tell for sure, but I knew something wasn't right with the guy. It could also have just been intense nervous energy. Unfortunately the encounter didn't go great, but he was kind the whole time and I honestly just liked his company as he had lived in Australia and had a high level of English. I never talked to him after the encounter. Fast forward to just a few minutes ago, and I found out on the bar's Twitter that he has passed away. I don't know why I feel so sad about it because I know he wasn't a good friend of mine or anything, but I thought I could at least share here in case anyone has ever experienced something like this. I don't really have anyone IRL that I could talk to about this. I wish I would have given him a big hug when he left my hotel that day or that we had just talked more.
  2. Tawan will do this as well. @jason1975and I did this plenty during the jockstrap jubilee.
  3. This definitely did happen for all guys wearing jockstraps. It's like a reflex now. Pull a strap, add some baht, release, smack, and repeat.
  4. I went to Bangkok the Christmas before COVID kicked into full gear...back when we thought it was just this thing that would stay in China. Ahh those blissfully ignorant days. I expect crowds and flight/hotel prices to be at an all time high, so it's going to be a skip for me. My partner and I both celebrate Christmas and we'll probably just stay at home and have a party with our friends. I might cross the border to Singapore to check out some of the Christmas offerings at Universal Studios and Gardens by the Bay. I went way over budget on my summer escapades in Bangkok and Pattaya, so any travel will have to be more wallet friendly. If I really am craving some "fun", I might just do a short trip to KL as there are quite a few freelancers working the apps there.
  5. I would probably just leave...that is definitely triggering for my, what some would call, social anxiety. However, it could be the wrong terminology as it's just not a situation I want to be in because I don't like crowds in general. I wouldn't walk away though because of worrying about what others thought of me. I do this with all kinds of situations in life, especially crowded restaurants. If my social anxiety were a result of worrying about what others thought of me, I wouldn't have done half the things I did at the jockstrap party I sponsored at Tawan. Social anxiety manifests itself in different ways and for different reasons possibly. Your observations aren't wrong; it's just a nuanced and complex situation.
  6. @vinapuSmiles at Jupiter and twinks at Tawan. Are these signs of end times??
  7. @Tomm42From personal experience, I also can suggest Moonlight and Jupiter as warmup bars for just the experience of appreciating the eye candy and seeing shows if you need to dip your toe in before going straight to offing someone. I (and probably only me) find that I never feel the need to off someone at those bars. The fact that it's a place for me to just chill and build confidence is enough for me. You're definitely not going to get someone randomly sitting with you at those places. I go to those places just to admire and enjoy the shows, though less now because I'm more comfortable just to go for what I'm looking for, which is at Tawan most of the time. The only thing that I miss is that there seems to be less of a parade at Jupiter where guys are on stage for a long time before the show. Moonlight still does this though. My last trip, I got the impression that there's just a few times where a parade happens at Jupiter, and it's brief.
  8. @Tomm42If you're into guys a bit older, then Tawan is definitely the best choice. I think the new smaller location does make it a bit more intimidating, but I like the fact that there are a few guys there who will just sit down with you. It's a good warmup to have someone to drink with and explore their muscles while you're building up courage (and most likely a hardon!) to go for the ones who really catch your eye. I haven't offed any of the guys who sat with me right away, but I did make sure to tip them for their service for making me more comfortable in the bar. These men have thick skins so don't feel obligated to off a guy who sits with you right away. If they get a small tip from you, then it's all good. If you feel intimidated about being seen in public with a sexy hulking man, I also suggest choosing a hotel close to Tawan (or wherever you choose.) I was a regular there on my last trip and I regret not being closer. While you can use a taxi to go to your hotel, there's something more relaxing about it just being a quick walk from the bar to your bedroom. If you really have anxiety about this, you can get their Line and maybe off them another night and have them come directly to your hotel. I found about 7 guys I wanted to off at Tawan and I got their Line contacts and arranged for some to come to my hotel directly rather than me having to make the trip from the bar with them. Only thing I don't love about Tawan is that people do expect tips for the smallest things such as bringing you a drink, which is something I never experienced in other bars.
  9. Just to help clarify, I think a lot of the evidence you're using about people being on their phones and not socializing/talking could be more about signs of extroversion and introversion, even though you said it wasn't. You kind of mixed in some stuff that could be introvert/extrovert along with social anxiety. For example, my being on my phone and not mingling is my introversion. I rarely was on my phone when hanging out with @jason1975. However, when I walked in to Tawan, saw that it was busy and crowded, and walked out, THAT was my social anxiety. I just immediately felt uncomfortable and didn't want to sit at a table with a stranger. If you have fear of walking through the Complex, then yes that is social anxiety as well. Even then, there are other factors. If someone walks into a crowded bar and walks out, that's not necessarily social anxiety. That could just be preferring a more quiet place to have a meaningful conversation. It could also be they had a quick glance at the guys and decided quickly that none were their type or that someone was already sitting with the guy they were intending to off.
  10. I experience this, but it's more because I'm not so much of a people person anymore. I've turned my social anxiety into something that just makes me me and I'm okay with it. Many times, I'm content to just spend time by myself where I don't have to worry about participating in conversations I'm not interested in, but still feel like I have to fake interest out of good etiquette. I'm content to sit at a bar and be on my phone because I can read content that's interesting to me rather than be in a tiresome conversation. I also think a lot of people are on their phone because they're on the apps checking out who's around them. However, I don't mind being social if it's with someone I make a good connection with. For example, I immediately hit it off with @jason1975on my last trip and we spent much longer hanging out than either of us expected. It helped that he had been writing a trip report and I knew he lived close to me, so I knew we would have things in common. Sharing the same orientation doesn't automatically make someone into a good conversation partner, which is what I'm looking for when I'm social. AIl that being said, yes, I do feel uncomfortable walking into a group of unknown people, but I hate groups in general as I prefer one on one. The worst is that I also hate being the only customer in a bar where all eyes are on me. Is it social anxiety? Yes. Do I think it's an illness? For me, no. It's just how I'm built and it's worked for me. In the end, I don't care what some random farang thinks about me because I don't have some deep craving for social engagement. I have enough forced socialization at my job that I appreciate being able to just be me when I travel. If I were an expat, that might be different, but I would rather make expat friends through connections of close friends rather than random people in a bar who only share the same orientation as I do. This is how I've made friends as an expat in multiple other countries, though lately my local friend group has become larger than my expat group.
  11. Based off your description, I'm fairly certain I was also with 1 on my recent trip. I went into the encounter not expecting much as I agree about the general vibe of Tawan, but he ended up surprising me. As I am completely unsympathetic to my neighbors, I can get really loud if I'm enjoying myself, and he was definitely into that. What surprised me is that especially toward the end, it felt like a genuine hookup because I could tell he was enjoying himself. I don't think it was anything special about me, though. I think he loves getting applause and cheers, and moaning in bed is the equivalent I guess. Since he felt like was doing a good job and his work was being appreciated, he totally let loose. We both couldn't stop smiling and laughing after. Definitely my best bottoming experience on my trip. Your point about "having a little gay in them" is so true and I have the feeling he certainly does. Thanks for sharing.
  12. Those are just the dancers. The actual boys available for offing are more next door mid-twink types.
  13. I think maybe some are, but not all. When I was at Boyz Boyz Boyz in Pattaya, I distinctly remember seeing a sign that said "Not all boys are available for prostitution" or something similar.
  14. @kjun12 Yes there are stairs you must climb once you get to the reception/lobby area at Arena.
  15. It's on the same Soi as Classroom Bar/Hotel and A Bomb. It's right before the entrance to Boyztown on that Soi. My experience was that I was taken upstairs by the first person who greeted me, though I didn't actually choose that person. Before I went upstairs, I saw a guy inside relaxing on the massage chairs downstairs and I wanted him instead. I was surprised no one asked me who I wanted and how long/what type of massage I wanted. Thankfully, I was able to go downstairs to choose the guy I liked. Actual massage experience and extras were enjoyable. More than anything, my masseur was talkative, but not too much, had good technique, and was just an overall charming and handsome guy.
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