Is it worth the hassle to take on clients who do this:

[EscortJamahl]

The ones I'm referring to are those who contact always at the last minute, with a narrow window of time to meet. I may be in the middle of something at the moment, but the client can only meet this day or time and turning it down may lead to days or weeks before they can make another appointment. 

This describes a client who contacted me over 2 months ago (he greeted me saying a month ago, which goes to show lack of planning) . The first time he messaged me, it was last minute in the afternoon. Starting with "any chance" and giving me a two hour window to meet. Now, I didn't mind doing it, but I had just moved to town the night before, and had to drop what I was doing to run out and see him. It worked out, but I had to stop what I was doing, maneuver around, and then return back to what I was doing earlier. 

Fast forward two months later, exact same scenario. I had just arrived back to town the night before, he calls last minute (even admitting it was very last minute), with a 2 hour window of time to meet. This time, I had thought about it...but eventually told him no I couldn't meet on such short notice as he wanted me to host, which requires me to stop what I'm doing, get a hotel and then stay there all night...considering my drive to town is 60 miles. 

He said he would try back Thursday (today). Now, I was courteous enough to contact him yesterday to confirm. No response. And nothing so far today. At this point, I'm considering waiting until the next time he contacts me and tell him I won't be seeing him again, because he doesn't respect my time. 

It tends to bother me when clients expect me to drop everything and be inconvenienced for them, but when I'm actually available and let them know...it's the wrong time for them. They don't want to be inconvenienced, but I have to. Well who is running the business here? I write my hours, they don't write my hours. It's like they're trying to run me and boss me around, versus them having the courtesy to meet me when I am in the position to take on a client. Some of them seem to want to catch us off guard, and don't see how inappropriate it comes off.

If someone's schedule is so hectic, or they can't plan in advance because of whatever 1,000 reasons...then perhaps it's better to not keep them as a client unless my situation allows for such chance encounters. 

[Lucky]

It all depends on how much you need the money.

[nycman]

Have you considered a career in the Fast Food industry?

[EscortJamahl]

3 hours ago, nycman said:

Have you considered a career in the Fast Food industry?

Yes, and did it twice when I was 16 and 17. Now can you stop with the alternative career suggestions? That has nothing to do with the topic at hand. 

[EscortJamahl]

7 hours ago, Lucky said:

It all depends on how much you need the money.

That's the concept I don't like. Each time a client does that, I feel they're betting their chance of seeing me based on how badly I may need the money...which is exploitative and controlling. That particular day I didn't need the money badly, but that doesn't mean that by the end of the week, I wouldn't of had use of the money. 

I reached out to him today again to confirm, and as predicted he sends me some sorry, jive time message about how he couldn't get away from his work schedule, and that he's leaving out of town tomorrow. 

I told him straight up that is not courteous at all to expect ME to drop what I'm doing to see him, but yet when I am available to meet, and in a hotel, HE can't drop his schedule to see me. I also said if he wants me to host next time, he needs to pay for the place to host. Just like my client tomorrow, he couldn't host...so he's paid for me an entire night stay at the Hilton to see me for a couple hours, versus me having to come out of pocket. 

Going into 2019, I'm not dealing with the disrespect from clients. Soon as they try to get me into a pattern of last minute demands, followed by being unavailable during the times I am available for them, they're getting cut off. I don't have time for it. It's like once you set a pattern of disregard for your time, they expect it EVERY time. 

 

Edited December 21, 2018 by EscortJamahl

[caeron]

 

I think you are bringing way too much of you into this.

I often don't plan ahead, and may have narrow windows to meet. I'll reach out to see if someone is available, and if they are, great. If not, oh well.

I don't consider whether it's an inconvenience for them, because that isn't my problem. I don't know what their situation is, nor do I expect to get a lecture from them on how inconvenient that is.

What I expect them to do is to tell me yes, or no. Sometimes they just don't get back to me. I take that, naturally as a no. I also don't contact them again.

If these kind of appointments upset you this much, then just say no, can't without more warning. Tell them you can't do incalls on short notice. They made an offer. Accept it, reject it, counter it, or just ignore them. Whatever you want.

But, do you.

Stop reading other people's limitations as personal disrespect. That is a great way to drive yourself crazy. This post is an example of that.

Honestly, if I got this kind of feedback from an escort I tried to book on short notice, rather than just a 'no', I'd cross them off the list. Too much drama.

[EscortJamahl]

@caeron thanks for the input. I can agree its not always justifiable to get upset over limitations that others have. And yes, I think I am going a little crazy because the way things are now in how people schedule continues to become more and more like meeting people on Grindr. The whole NOW, NOW, NOW mentality followed by ME, ME, ME and WHEN I WANT IT. It's driving sex workers insane. You're absolutely right. 

However, I don't think there's anything wrong with "lecturing" someone on how one wants to have a visit scheduled (not that it is intended to be a lecture). 

When you mention that I'm putting too much of myself into it, you then say you don't care whether the escort in inconvenienced when you contact them. You mentioned (I) several times in your post. So, wouldn't you agree that when it comes down to it, there is a (me) factor involved, perhaps on both sides? 

If you don't consider whether the escort's time is convenient and available when you contact them, it would seem to me that you aren't necessarily interested in having a quality encounter with that particular escort?

I've come to learn as well, with many guys it's not just a personal limitation they have. For some of them, I feel it's a power trip. They WANT us to drop what we are doing for them, and rush over last minute. They think with their dicks and asses, and feel we are less than, and I pick that up in your tone. Oftentimes, only to be told no when trying to work out a time. With this particular client, he even TOLD ME that we can start between 1:30 and 3 pm. When I said 3 pm, he tells me THAT MIGHT BE TO LATE. That's why I didn't go. Don't tell me a time is okay, but then say it's not when you're doing it last minute. My ad was up for days/weeks prior to arriving.

Most of these "I'll only call you when I have a narrow window of time" guys rarely become regulars. They contact back about 2-3 times after that first time, but never get another appointment because they can't be bothered to give enough notice or time. And I'm not talking 5 days notice, but like 2 hours. And they can't wait! Other times, they'll book last minute and then not respond when I reply I am available. Once again, a power trip. Or lack of integrity. 

I can't be bothered. I don't mind taking a last minute appointment from someone the 1st time. Shit happens. Dicks get hard, asses get wet, mouths get hungry. But I don't like when a client gets in the habit of doing it though. Once you know I'm a good guy, it's time to start being able to plan. All that jumping up last minute pattern shows a lack of respect, integrity and maturity on the part of the client.

I'm not a bathhouse that you can just walk into when you're horny. I am an independent, 1 man operation. People need to re-fresh what all that entails in 2019. Just because there's dozens of profiles on Rentmen and our pics look like we're sitting around vegetating in endless, yearning libido...that doesn't make it similar to walking into a Midtowme Spa brimming with men who are insta-vailable. No, we all have private lives to manage, in addition to trying to serve clients in person and juggle all the incoming messages we receive. It's time to rehash the resposibilties we have. I think once clients are educated on that, they'll begin to understand. 

Edited December 28, 2018 by EscortJamahl

[caeron]

One of the things the benefit of age has given me is an understanding of my limitations. Not being a mind-reader is one of them.

I don't consider an escort's convenience because how can I? I don't know them. I don't know there situation. I expect them to manage their own shit, and I'll manage mine. If they don't want to or can't meet, they can just say no. 

If you can't be bothered, why not just put that in your ad? I've seen more than enough escorts that put that they can't do short notice appointments in their ads. If I'm short notice, I don't contact them. Simple.

I find this whole thread a bit odd, honestly. You're venting about clients, in a virtual room full of... clients. I get that some clients can be annoying, but that is the job. While you find the suggestions that you look for other work insulting or annoying, perhaps you could consider how this kind of venting might be perceived by those who might hire you. 

[Riobard]

Countless fee-for-service professionals and their actual or prospective bookers outside of the commercial sex industry are required to manage these same dynamics with equanimity. I have been at both ends of the spectrum.

Within professional networking settings it has not emerged as a pressing topic about which providers wish to vent and brain-storm.  

I had two regular providers for two separate chronic health problems that flared up unpredictably and for which I would seek attention on an impromptu basis. They were obviously invested in beefing up their service in the context of overhead expenses and making ends meet, but expressed no anxiety about the occasions our scheds did not dovetail. They would certainly not call later to importune a booking if it had been left up in the air. Nor would I, in their shoes. This is life. And we just roll with the non-regular fly-by-nights as an occupational hazard. 

That said, commercial sex workers have notified me, asking when I intend to book again. Say what? I do not forecast my desires. I am not put out and I do not get anxious about service options being withdrawn ... I simply lack the capacity to fulfill an expectation on which two parties do not see eye to eye.

My health problem flare-up might at times spontaneously subside in the same way that the pressing urgency of libidinal appetite might wax and wane. 

Edited December 28, 2018 by Riobard

[paborn]

I think it's obvious that a sex worker is in an industry that needs to cater to the client's desires - which we can't book for next Thursday at 2 PM. If I'm in need and text to find out if you're available - you either are or aren't. It's really as simple as that and there is no need to be a diva.

[AdamSmith]

"I cant now, but I can then.

Does that work?

If not, what does for both of us?"

[BenjaminNicholas]

No

[AdamSmith]

2 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

No

Why?

[RA1]

Now is now and then is then.  For an hour appointment now, the escort says yes or no.  For some time in the future, something other than an hour appointment is required.

Best regards.

RA1

 

[hungry4dark]

I admit I've been that guy a few times - knowing that my schedule is tight but still trying to make it happen.  Each time I felt guilty about wasting the guys time and sent him something for his trouble but had to learn to be more realistic and not make any commitments I cant be sure I can deliver on.  That said, it was never intentional nor was I being an asshole I was just being unrealistic because I was excited about the opportunity.  Ironically it happened with the one guy I see regularly now and the fact that he was cool about it and didn't simply ghost me ended up working out extremely well for both of us.  Just a thought... sometimes you have to let it be what it's gonna be and not take it personally. 

[boiworship]

I’ve flown to cities in the past to meet clients, only to have them cancel at the last minute. It comes with the territory. This is the first time I’ve publicly mentioned it. Equanimity, my friend, equanimity!

Edited February 5, 2019 by boiworship
Misspelling

[DutchDork]

He who has the money holds the power. That's economics. If you don't want to be at the mercy of your clients' hours, shift careers. Open a store that serves clients 9-5.