I have arrived on the island. After 2 weeks in Bangkok, this is quite the change of pace. To be 100% honest, I'm not quite feeling Koh Samui yet.

The first weird vibe was when I got to my gate at the airport. It felt like I was tricked and being flown back to the US. Everyone was pasty white. Not an Asian in sight. I don't wanna sound racist, but I don't wanna see the albinos. My buddy thinks it's The White Lotus effect. I'll admit I sat through every episode of that show and loved it... but I don't think it influenced my decision to come to Thailand.

After arriving, it felt like Koh Samui is Thailand's answer to Santa Marta or Cartagena in Colombia. Poor neighborhoods until you get where the whiteys are... then it's beautiful. I hate that contrast. That said, I'm not staying in the most touristy of areas. I'm at an Airbnb 20 steps from the beach in what feels like a hybrid local neighborhood but the neighborhood is all ex Pats.

The guys hitting on me on Grindr are decidedly less enticing than they were in Bangkok. Too bad because now I don't have gogo bars or massage parlors to relieve me of my tensions. There are massage parlors all over... but not of my persuasion. And the one gay bar seems to be a $15 Grab each way... and it doesn't look to be all that wild. Can anyone vouch for Pride Bar being worth $30 in Grab fare?

As you can probably tell, I'm a little uncertain about this part of my Thailand trip. I booked it because the guy who did a YouTube channel I watched a lot this past year about Americans and Canadians moving to Thailand left Bangkok for this place. But I'm definitely have 'Kok withdrawal symptoms. We'll see if they subside.

24 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

And the one gay bar seems to be a $15 Grab each way... and it doesn't look to be all that wild. Can anyone vouch for Pride Bar being worth $30 in Grab fare?

Outch - this tidbit of information tells me that your AirBnB choice is far from the fun Chaweng Beach area where the Pride Bar is and also many PLUs.

Any reason as to why you chose an AirBnB so far away?

In Bangkok you chose an AirBnB right smack in the middle of the gay zone (Silom).

If I were in your shoes - I would rent a motorbike so that you can get the most from your stay in Koh Samui. I have been several times - but you will need a way to move yourself around to see everything either by hiring a tour guide or renting a motorbike to see everything.

59 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

It felt like I was tricked and being flown back to the US. Everyone was pasty white. Not an Asian in sight. I don't wanna sound racist, but I don't wanna see the albinos.

I was on the Gulf islands recently. The people I saw were in descending order

1. White people

2. Myanmar people, receptionists, waiters, bellboys, chefs, basically every service role

3. Thai people, few and far between

4. A smattering of Asian and other tourists

If I closed my eyes I could imagine I was in Magaluf or Brisbane

51 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Outch - this tidbit of information tells me that your AirBnB choice is far from the fun Chaweng Beach area where the Pride Bar is and also many PLUs.

Any reason as to why you chose an AirBnB so far away?

In Bangkok you chose an AirBnB right smack in the middle of the gay zone (Silom).

If I were in your shoes - I would rent a motorbike so that you can get the most from your stay in Koh Samui. I have been several times - but you will need a way to move yourself around to see everything either by hiring a tour guide or renting a motorbike to see everything.

OK Jedi you're dealing with a rookie here. What's a PLU? lol

I chose an area where the biggest concentration of Airbnbs were... usually a good way to decide. Plus the reviews for this place were among the best. It's Lamai Beach where I am. Just did a more extensive walk around the area... it's definitely a tourist spot, but still kind of local/indy vibes to it... no Hiltons or anything like that.

What are the things in Chaweng that are must-see? The beach here is very nice. I'm just missing the adrenaline of Bangkok. I've just gotta realize nothing's going to match that. Once I de-'Kok my brain and appreciate the chill beach island life, I'll be good. But Koh Samui after Bangkok is like having a glass of milk after downing 10 Red Bulls.

PLU = People Like Us - as in part of the LGBTQ+ community

I asked Grok what is there for PLUs in Lamai Beach. It basically says that Lamai is the honeymoon place of Koh Samui - but your 2 Grindr candidates are back in BKK.

Here is what Grok replied:

2 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

PLU = People Like Us - as in part of the LGBTQ+ community

Aaaaaaah ok. I'm not like most in the LGBTQ+ community so that's probably why I didn't know it. lol My friends have dubbed me the homophobic homo.

The AI makes sense. I could see this being a couples getaway spot. Lots of boutique hotels. Unfortunately the guys on Grindr tapping me here are more along the lines of what I'd get back in the US. The 'Kok spoiled me.

Did a little reading and apparently this was the hub before Samui built up that Chataweng area. I don't necessarily need to be near the gays though. When I booked this trip months ago it was to see if I liked living in various parts of Thailand. This was a contender back then mostly because of that YouTube guy I mentioned loving it so much. He might've even been the reason I picked Lamai Beach. Don't remember... this was back in March when I booked all this. But yeah, guys were never the focal point of this trip... it just became that way in Bangkok lol. Bangkok was originally just my landing point when I got to Thailand. I booked 2 weeks just because I'd never been and knew there was fun to be had. But it wasn't originally a place I ever considered living seriously. Then I got to Bangkok and that changed real quick.

18 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

I don't necessarily need to be near the gays though.

I am confused. Your AirBnB in Bangkok was in the BKK gay ghetto = Silom.

All of the guy attention that you got in BKK came within radius of your Grindr free (or subscription) plan - as displayed to you on your Grindr screen.

All of those blessings were because you were in Silom and not in Lak Si or some other far away part of the BKK metropolis.

Consequently, by being in Lamai many of the potential guys that might interest you probably won't appear on your Grindr display because you are too far from where their profiles are located??

Dude my first page of Grindr search results has guys who aren't even on this island lol. Ah well. I'm just going to enjoy the place for probably why I booked it ... chill island beach vibes. Looks like there's some fun stuff to do... pig island, zip lines, snorkeling. Again, this trip wasn't intended to be all about bedroom debauchery. It just kind of went that way in Bangkok haha.

Some places are to be enjoyed with a companion rather alone. I guess koh samui is one of them? Never been there but i went to phuket with a guy, and not regretting my decision. Went to chiangmai alone, wished i had a guy with me. I did have a blast in PP alone though.

2 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

All of those blessings were because you were in Silom and not in Lak Si or some other far away part of the BKK metropolis.

150% correct. A friend of mine decided to stay in an ultra luxury riverside hotel in Bangkok and wanted to treat himself to a Grindr hookup . After opening the app to his horror he discovered all his sparse hits were from very unattractive guys residing in the surrounding, poorer riverside area. He hightailed it back to Silom. The hotel was luxury but the boys were not.

Lamai is actually very popular for travellers who want to avoid the overly touristic and congested hub of Chaweng and experience what’s closer to the real Koh Samui. Probably not at all good for finding gay nightlife though.

Have you got a link to the channel of the influencer that convinced you to go to Samui? How old was he and where was he from? I think perspectives matter.

Frankly, I'm a little surprised that you seem disappointed that Kok Samui was full of farang. Didn't your Youtube influencer say loads of Americans and Canadians had moved there and you were drawn by this fact? I don't think it's one of the islands that's popular with Thais and it's not as if you were mingling with the locals in Bangkok anyway. You stayed close to the red light district, ate at Foodland and most (all?) your acquaintances were foreign. Nothing wrong with all that but did you make one Thai friend, even a Thai prostitute friend? How many Thai places of interest did you visit?

Pride Bar is just a bar. We were there last December during the high season and found it packed and quite fun. We played Jenga with a couple from Australia and my partner beat a Belgian guy at chess and we played a round of pool. Drink prices were typical of island resorts. We didn't see any mincing working boys to entertain the customers and those spoilt by Pattaya and Patpong or with rusty social skills might find the concept of saying hello and making friends with fellow travellers in a bar a bit jarring. I'm reminded by what dear Olddaddy said about miserable-looking farang sitting by themselves in Jomtien Complex. 😅 [Speaking of the devil, where is @Olddaddy ? Is he still detoxing from his recent Thailand trip?🤔]

There's also a cabaret showbar, Blue something, with quite an entertaining show. Dunno whether it's still open or only opens during the high season.

Bear in mind that Kok Samui is an island, a bit over-rated and it wouldn't be fair or make any sense to compare it to the Big Smoke. My Thai partner had rented a motorcycle and we were able to see much of the island that way. I found it to be a relaxing getaway and even enjoyed our brief trip to Phuket last June which most gay sex tourists have written off! What can I say, I'm easily pleased and view every travel opportunity a privilege. 😁9

4 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

It felt like I was tricked and being flown back to the US. Everyone was pasty white. Not an Asian in sight.

It's fascinating to see how first-time visitors react to Thailand (or Asia), and the above observation is a gem. What you have stumbled upon is the huge cultural difference between White societies and their cultural values and Southeast Asian (or East Asian more generally). Westerners see a tan as beautiful and desirable, but darker skin tone has the opposite value in many Asian societies. Westerners flock to tropical beaches to get that tan; Asians mostly avoid the sun like the plague, As a result, tropical beach islands are playgrounds for Western tourists, while Asians see no value going there. Of course there are exceptions (the younger Japanese do like a tan too, I've noticed) and I risk over-generalising.

It's been explained to me by my Chinese friends that traditionally, tanned skin was associated with manual, agricultural labour, whereas the upper class had little need to be exposed to the elements. Consequently, fairer complexion was associated with elite status. Tanned leathery skin = low class. Whether this was the same rationalisation in Thai society, I don't know. I wouldn't assume so; there may be quite different aetiology.

In Indian society, skin tone is strongly associated with caste.

I think it was @bkkmfj2648 who mentioned several times a group of Thai lads playing beach volleyball at night. I've seen the same in Bali, whereas in the West, choosing to play beach volleyball at night would be seen as weird. In Bali, the beaches are populated by white bodies roasting away in the daytime. Around 5 or 6pm, they pack up and leave. Then the Asians and Indonesians (domestic tourists, and Indonesia has a huge domestic tourism industry) arrive. Their idea of beach fun is sunset and the hours after.

In Australia, skin cancer is a common topic of conversation. It doesn't seem to be a topic in East Asia, and that's probably because they have spent a lifetime avoiding the sun.

I have never been to Koh Samui, but I made similar observations when I visited Koh Chang a couple of years ago. I felt like I could have been on a resort anywhere in the world. Beaches were nice, air and water was warm so it was an ok place to relax for a few days. But overall it was quite a boring place to visit as a solo traveller.

I have also visited Koh Tao. It has more of a backpacker/outdoors adventure vibe. I did a diving course there, so had something to do and people to interact with. I also met up with a friend who introduced me to some of his buddies so I had company to explore bars and parties with.

Like you, I also get a lot of attention in Bangkok, and I tend to savour that and go for the non-transactional hook-ups and boyfriend/holiday flirt experience. I usually accept offers for extras at massage places though - I am only human

1 hour ago, hank75 said:

Lamai is actually very popular for travellers who want to avoid the overly touristic and congested hub of Chaweng and experience what’s closer to the real Koh Samui. Probably not at all good for finding gay nightlife though.

Which is fine... it's not why I'm here. Reading other comments, I think some still are assuming I flew to the other side of the planet for 24 hours to get laid lol. I'm not that pathetic. 😆 I talked a lot in my posts about my Silom escapades because that's what the site/board is about. The places I booked were strategic.

For Bangkok, it was my landing city. I didn't really think there'd be much chance I'd ever want to live in a big city like that. So I booked a room near the crazy fun that I can't experience in the States. We have strip clubs but the Bangkok scene is vastly different. I also wanted to be close to the BTS/MRT so I could wander and check out other stuff we don't have... the temples, go see a couple Muay Thai fights, try the Thai foods I've loved in the US to see how different they are in Thailand, and maybe do a concert or two. Did I have fun at the bars and get a couple massages too? Yup! Had a blast. But to the guy who assumed I spent all my time within the walls of Silom, LOL... no I did not. For the last time, I posted about that stuff because that's what this message board's content is. If you really want me to break down the Muay Thai matches I saw, I can do that... but I think you'd be pretty bored.

What won me over about Bangkok was the feeling of calm within such a metropolis, the safety, the kindness and general happiness of people, the convenience of having everything at your disposal, the ability to get a taste of home when you want it... let alone the cost of living, quality healthcare and all the other perks I read about over the past year from those who've made the move. Bangkok just pulled the rug out from under me. I thought the heat would be too much. It can be brutal and I know I wasn't there during the hottest months, but it wasn't unmanageable. I also thought air pollution would be much worse given their traffic. So yeah BKK wasn't really meant to be the part of my trip that it became. It was just supposed to be where I landed. This trip was all about Chiang Mai and at one point, Koh Samui.

As for Koh Samui, the YouTube guy who first inspired the thought of living in Thailand lived in Bangkok for years and within the last few years, decided to move his wife and kids to Koh Samui... so it intrigued me. Someone asked his age... I think he's around 50ish (my age). I wanted to see what he liked. He doesn't talk much about KS on his channel because he probably knows the most clicks he gets are from his Bangkok content. But there wasn't a thought that I needed to be near a gay club. I just wanted someplace with good reviews and this one did. After I already booked the flight/room, I did some more reading I realized KS isn't probably going to be a candidate as I've lived near beaches... and I rarely went to the beach. Fortunately I only booked 1 week here.

The place I'm staying in Chiang Mai is probably nowhere near the gay life either. Based on reviews I read and stuff I watched online, the area I picked seems like a safe, agreeable kind of spot to where I'd like to unpack my suitcase when I do move here. I posted early on that my gut all along has been that CM is going to be my pick. I never thought Bangkok had a chance until I got there. Bangkok is a big city without the drawbacks of big cities I've visited and lived in. I didn't anticipate that. Had I thought Bangkok would've been a contender, I probably would've stayed somewhere else instead of Silom.

And as for my observation on the racial switch once I got to my gate. It was just such a stark contrast to walk through the airport that was almost completely Asian and then when I got to my gate, I felt like I was in Orlando. It was weird. Somehow it was off-putting. I wasn't ready to be back in the US yet. I knew there was a big ex-Pat and tourist presence here. But I was surprised that it was that lopsided.

4 minutes ago, FunFifties said:

Like you, I also get a lot of attention in Bangkok, and I tend to savour that and go for the non-transactional hook-ups and boyfriend/holiday flirt experience. I usually accept offers for extras at massage places though - I am only human

Variety baby! It's a good thing. I have no regrets... I really like both guys I connected with. They're both quality guys. I don't really know if either would be boyfriend material... to me the age difference would be too strange back in the real world. But the time spent was enjoyed... even if it snatched away my chance to have some fun with that dude from Jupiter. 😆

7 hours ago, macaroni21 said:

It's fascinating to see how first-time visitors react to Thailand (or Asia), and the above observation is a gem. What you have stumbled upon is the huge cultural difference between White societies and their cultural values and Southeast Asian (or East Asian more generally). Westerners see a tan as beautiful and desirable, but darker skin tone has the opposite value in many Asian societies. Westerners flock to tropical beaches to get that tan; Asians mostly avoid the sun like the plague, As a result, tropical beach islands are playgrounds for Western tourists, while Asians see no value going there.

This was true in California in the high school where I worked. 80% of the student population was Asian...predominantly from China and Taiwan. The students and their families avoided long time exposure to the sun and would often be seen with umbrellas for protection. I also know this to be true with Cam. He is outside working in the sun all day long and often complains about how hot it is. But when we are chatting, I also see that he is wearing long pants, long sleeve shirt, and some type of jungle-style hat that has a flap covering the back of his neck...all to avoid the sun. He enjoys playing sports with his friends when not working...but it is always after 5pm when they play. Never in the heat of the day. As you said...Westerners would be out there in the heat of the day playing volleyball with shirts off and wearing shorts...minimal clothing to enjoy the sun and get the tan. Cam and his friends go out much later in the day and early evening for the specific purpose of avoiding the sun.

5 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

The place I'm staying in Chiang Mai is probably nowhere near the gay life either. Based on reviews I read and stuff I watched online, the area I picked seems like a safe, agreeable kind of spot to where I'd like to unpack my suitcase when I do move here. I posted early on that my gut all along has been that CM is going to be my pick. I never thought Bangkok had a chance until I got there. Bangkok is a big city without the drawbacks of big cities I've visited and lived in. I didn't anticipate that. Had I thought Bangkok would've been a contender, I probably would've stayed somewhere else instead of Silom.

I don't know that Chiang Mai has one central area like Silom in Bangkok where you can find most of the gay venues. To begin with, there are not nearly as many venues and they tend to be more spread out. For many people, the draw for Chiang Mai is a milder climate and overall a different vibe from the big city life in Bangkok. There truly is something magical about Bangkok in general. With the exception of my last three trips to Thailand over the last 12 months, I never stayed in Silom before. I was always there visiting my Thai friends (straight family) and stayed in one of their rental units...far, far away from Silom. Even though I didn't have the 'gay experience', there is just something unique and magical about Bangkok for me regardless of what area I am in. The sights, the smells, the people...I truly love every minute of my time there. Being able to experience Silom the last few times...I was just like you...the kid in the candy store for the very first time. I was born and raised in Ohio...small town of around 7,000 people. I hated it. I am definitely a big city guy and tend to thrive off that energy. I am also not a beach person, so Koh Samui would be a nice place to visit for a couple of days, but I would never survive a week there. As for the weather in Bangkok, it you can survive the heat and humidity in Florida during the months of August and September...the heat in Bangkok will not be a problem. I guess you have a couple of options...as long is they don't involve losing a lot of money, that is...you could shorten your time in Koh Samui and head on up to Chiang Mai earlier. That would require changing reservations and possibly losing money on the Airbnb where you are currently staying. I doubt a refund is possible now. Possibly a slight change fee in airfare as well. Otherwise, enjoy the island life for a week. As others have mentioned, I would encourage you to rent a motorbike and go exploring. Don't depend on Grab. That will be costly and also limiting in your ability to get out and go whenever and wherever you want. I don't know what your plans are when you get to Chiang Mai, but I would highly recommend that you hire a local guide. Several forum members, myself included, have hired Woody via Siam Roads. Woody is gay, originally from Myanmar but lived for many years in Chiang Mai and knows the area well. He and his partner own and operate a massage shop...Classic House. He has a car and can show you the usual tourist sites, but can also provide information and guidance about living in Chiang Mai in general. You can find both Siam Roads and Classic House online via Google Search, but to book his tour service you need to go through Siam Roads. Just a friendly suggestion.

I'm going to stick it out. It's only a week... enjoyed walking around last night and checking out the shops and markets. Talked with some ex Pats last night who said this is the sweet spot on the island. One called Chaweng "Temu Mardi Gras." 😆 I think those were my exact words when I described Pattaya City. (I liked Jomtien though.) I'll still check Chaweng out probably Friday or Saturday night.

As for not staying near the airport/gay area... maybe it wasn't such a bad call. Saw this on a Thailand reddit I follow about Koh Samui being overrated ... "I find this is a regular complaint and I don't understand who's telling people Samui is wonderful. It doesn't suck, but Chaweng does. The south of the Island is absolutely gorgeous, but most people are in Chaweng. And Chaweng sucks. Get yourself down to Lamai if you're going to stay in Samui. It's prettier than Chaweng, and closer to the beautiful parts of Samui."

No regrets. Just like the crappier bars I went to in Bangkok, it's all part of the experience. The bad makes you appreciate the good even more. Being on Samui is just accentuating the stuff I really loved about Bangkok. The energy. The people. The options. The personalities of the different neighborhoods. My Cambodian guy said I'd probably be bored here and in Chiang Mai. I hope the latter isn't true. Maybe I'll end up like the YouTube guy and choose Bangkok as my first home base... and then move to a quieter part of the country if/when the magic wears off. I still think Chiang Mai will be my ideal. We'll see. The cooler temps and CM having that taste of city life but being cheaper and more "livable" should fit me. I've always lived near big cities but never wanted to live in one. Until now? I was 90% sure a month ago CM will be it. Now I'm 60%. Burning season is my only concern about CM life.

I'm going to enjoy Samui for what it is... a chill out spot. I'm literally a minute walk from a nice beach. And I'll hit up the touristy stuff like Pig Island and probably the zip line through the jungle and waterfalls. Doing a deeper dive with Thai food and so far, no misses. I think I've eaten more rice in the past 2 weeks than I have in my life. But yeah unlike CM and (unexpectedly) Bangkok... there won't be any scouting for a spot to unpack while here on Samui.

As for renting a motorbike... ehh, I'll stick to Grab. Pricier but safer. Riding in a car on the left side is weird enough. Driving on a bike I'm not used to on roads I don't know... nah. Using Grab's motorbike option is super cheap. Maybe I'll do that a time or two.

Finally found the first thing about Thailand I don't like. It took 2 weeks. It's about time there's a negative. Football at 7am. Took forever to find a way to stream the game this morning. And it'll be more of a pain when the games are in the middle of the night over here. But for all the positives, I can figure out a way to keep football in my life when I get here.

Has dipshit renamed the Gulf of Thailand yet or is this map still valid?

In bangkok or pattaya, find a sport bar. They will definitely show you some football/soccer games. I guess for american football, higher chance to find one in pattaya.

Nothing better than waves crashing on the beach at night. And then a few cute twinks show up and light up the night.

14 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I also know this to be true with Cam. He is outside working in the sun all day long and often complains about how hot it is. But when we are chatting, I also see that he is wearing long pants, long sleeve shirt, and some type of jungle-style hat that has a flap covering the back of his neck...all to avoid the sun.

Maybe temperatures are higher in rural countryside and the sun's rays are stronger. My guy always wears long sleeve shirt and big hat when he is working at his parent's rice field in Vietnam.

15 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

Nothing better than waves crashing on the beach at night. And then a few cute twinks show up and light up the night.

Any chance to get to know them better? Hehe

Adapting and appreciating the island vibes a bit more tonight.

10 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

Football at 7am. Took forever to find a way to stream the game this morning. And it'll be more of a pain when the games are in the middle of the night over here. But for all the positives, I can figure out a way to keep football in my life when I get here.

Be aware when you talk about football anywhere outside of the US the rest of the world is talking about soccer. Even in sports bars you will need to be specific and ask for 'American football' or they will put on a soccer game or refer you to a soccer game. lol. Cam goes to play sports with friends in the evenings. He is always playing volleyball or, in his words, 'football'. In American English he is talking soccer. I am constantly being corrected by him when I say...oh, you mean soccer. He replies, no...football. LOL.