8 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

Friday night part 3.

Hope you’re enjoying the live update. 11pm and my mood is much better. I am back at Orion. Much happier now. About a dozen guys. Most of them are seated with clients at the moment. But a good vibe I like this place. Certainly nothing fancy. But I don’t need fancy.

I am happy that you are happy. Thanks for the updates.

15 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

What can you do? You can't uninvent the internet. Just support what we have left.

I agree. Once in a while, I step inside the bars and have a drink before offing the guys. I can easily bypass the bars and off the guys directly as I have their Line contacts. To their credit, the mamasans realise this about their regular customers. Hence they always treat us very well when we go in for a drink and chat with them.

2 hours ago, jason1975 said:

I am happy that you are happy. Thanks for the updates.

Thanks pal! I guess things just start late around here. Most cities around the world I’ve visited that cater to the “mature” crowd get going around 8. I’ll head back to Connections maybe tonight. It’s walking distance from my place.

Chatted with a few of the guys at Orion. Obviously the language barrier was there with most of them, but Google Translate worked its magic to a degree. One thing that I thought was interesting as a lot of the guys didn’t read the screen instead, they insisted on using the Google Translate audio feature. I didn’t think much of it when one used it, but it seemed like all of them did.

Doing an apartment tour today. Heading over to the digital nomad neighborhood. I like this condo that I’m in. One definite perk is the number of college guys who live here. When I got back last night, three toned tall basketball player types stepped out of the elevator in towels coming from the pool. I lost my breath for a moment. 😍 And every time I’ve gone to the gym and pool on the top level there is some amazing eye candy. But the neighborhood is very touristy. When you see a Hard Rock, McDonalds and Starbucks on the same corner that’s the giveaway. 😆

I’ll pop back out to the bars tonight.

4 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

One thing that I thought was interesting as a lot of the guys didn’t read the screen instead, they insisted on using the Google Translate audio feature. I didn’t think much of it when one used it, but it seemed like all of them did.

Depending on where they’re from exactly the reason is simple. Many of the Shan or Tai Yai guys can’t read well. Yes they can read basic Thai for road signs, menus, filling out forms. They find it hard to read Google translate, which often translates more formally than conversational Thai. If you’re not showing them something basic like “how much” and your request has two or three parts to it or a more complex question, it’s much faster for them to listen to the audio than read it slowly, alphabet by alphabet.

11 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

Friday night part 2…

The mystery bar was a dud. Complete waste of time and money. I’m not even going to recount the details. Too annoyed. They deserve zero attention. On the long ride back to CM to try to start the night over.

I’m sorry you had a bad experience. The flyers certainly seemed promising. Out of curiosity I looked up the location, it’s in Chang Phueak which is still within Chiang Mai though outside the Old City. I also checked the address of the other venue I was recommended - likewise, in Chang Phueak which is supposedly a more local, residential area. It sounds like the equivalent of Saphan Kwai. Both are classified as restaurants.

Google Maps had some reviews for both places with actual photographs that weren’t photoshopped for promotional purposes. Hobuphachat looks a hair more presentable than the other venue so I would be interested to hear what went wrong, if you can bring yourself to recap for us.

1 hour ago, hank75 said:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience. The flyers certainly seemed promising. Out of curiosity I looked up the location, it’s in Chang Phueak which is still within Chiang Mai though outside the Old City. I also checked the address of the other venue I was recommended - likewise, in Chang Phueak which is supposedly a more local, residential area. It sounds like the equivalent of Saphan Kwai. Both are classified as restaurants.

Google Maps had some reviews for both places with actual photographs that weren’t photoshopped for promotional purposes. Hobuphachat looks a hair more presentable than the other venue so I would be interested to hear what went wrong, if you can bring yourself to recap for us.

Yeah, the Facebook photos and flyers definitely looked enticing. I guess it was my first experience with a host bar. Seemed like bait and switch. They were clear about the pricing. But not so much on the experience. It was about as exciting as a dentist office waiting room.

I dropped 2000 but more importantly an hour I’ll never get back in my life. Maybe they are technically in CM, but it felt like a distant suburb. The distance wouldn’t have been so much a thing had it been a good time.

I feel like I’ve given them more publicity already than they deserve so I’ll just leave the photo and say avoid avoid avoid.

I have an appointment for a dental cleaning tomorrow. 1000-1500 baht, almost half what I paid last night. and I’ll actually get a cleaning. 😁 I’ll give a review on the waiting area comparison.

2 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

I thought was interesting as a lot of the guys didn’t read the screen instead, they insisted on using the Google Translate audio feature

Its because many of the non-thai cant read thai scripture but can understand spoken thai. Just noticed hank already answered as well.

Ive made a mistake before when taking a guy to a movie. Most movies in thailand are either dubbed without subtitle or english with thai subtitle. So unless your guy can read thai, or understand english enough to follow a movie, seems like there is no common ground.

5 hours ago, mauRICE said:

I am and it looks like you've been had, in more ways than one. The fact that Mai is married with family isn't a secret and their family pictures are splattered all over their socials. They celebrate their anniversaries and birthdays at the bar which are usually well attended by their regular customers. Book is there behind the counter daily and is primarily in charge of the business side of things although she does mingle with the customers. Mai is the PR guy for the bar and is well known by many local and visiting farang. Just this past January Book was complaining to me about her sick mum back in Isaan. Mai's sons bear a strong resemblance to him; they have his hair and complexion. Anyway, don't take my word for it; go see for yourself.

By the way I have no idea what Mai's sexual orientation is and what role he takes on in bed. I believe he's entitled to his privacy and the fact that he used to be a sex worker doesn't change this. It's his privilege as to whether he'd like to share that side of his life with others and I give him the same respect as I would to anyone else trying to make a living.

It's amazing, but hardly surprising, how you've managed to conflate my original 3 sentences about Mai into some kind of saga of one-upmanship.

'it looks like you've been had, in more ways than one.'

What other ways did you have in mind? You didn't say.

As for his sexual orientation, which is irrelevant (and which you mentioned, not me), I think the bar owner would know. Maybe you should ask Mai about the discrimination he felt from the straight Shan guys working in AA.

As for the issue of privacy, I imagine it would be difficult for any guy who works in a gay bar, appears in photos advertising the bar, goes off with numerous customers for sex and now runs a gay bar to maintain any semblance of privacy. Mai has never hidden any of that, afaik. And your details about his marital status is also a breach of privacy, no?

Time to move on.

UGH I still see his drivel when he’s quoted by one of you.😆

3 hours ago, hank75 said:

Depending on where they’re from exactly the reason is simple. Many of the Shan or Tai Yai guys can’t read well. Yes they can read basic Thai for road signs, menus, filling out forms. They find it hard to read Google translate, which often translates more formally than conversational Thai. If you’re not showing them something basic like “how much” and your request has two or three parts to it or a more complex question, it’s much faster for them to listen to the audio than read it slowly, alphabet by alphabet.

I had a regular guy in Pattaya with whom I spent many holidays.

He'd come to my hotel at lunchtime and we'd spent the rest of the day and evening together.

His English was excellent - self-taught- and that allowed us to chat about a variety of subjects. His knowledge of world events and history was incredible.

What surprised me was the difficulty he had reading Thai. He would run his finger across the words and read each letter of the alphabet.

He told me that due to family circumstances he left school at a very young age and went to work to support his mother and brother and so missed out on an education.

I think there are a lot of guys, especially from Isaan, who have a similar tale to tell.

2 minutes ago, a-447 said:

I had a regular guy in Pattaya with whom I spent many holidays with.

He'd come to my hotel at lunchtime and we'd spent the rest of the day and evening together.

His English was excellent - self-taught- and that allowed us to chat about a variety of subjects. His knowledge of world events and history was incredible.

What surprised me was the difficulty he had reading Thai. He would run his finger across the words and read each letter of the alphabet.

He told me that due to family circumstances he left school at a very young age and went to work to support his mother and brother and so missed out on an education.

I think there are a lot of guys, especially from Isaan, who have a similar tale to tell.

Yeah I figured it was something along those lines. I guess I wish they would’ve just switched to their native language in Google Translate to make it easier for them. I always feel guilty when I visit a country where I don’t speak the language. Nothing irritates me more than when I see an American getting frustrated with someone in another country because they don’t speak perfect English.

9 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

lol UGH I still see his drivel when he’s quoted by one of you. What a miserable human being he is. 😆 just use that ignore/mute function @a-447 you’re not going to miss anything. Bring peace to your scrolling. 😉

But what can you reasonably expect from a guy whose favourite game is Trivial Pursuit? 🤣🤣🤣

And trying to claim the moral high ground on a board which, as you pointed out, discusses sex and brothels is hilarious!

I'm sorry to read about your experience at the host bar. Damn! I'd already made a note of it.

But appreciate the fact that you are doing all the legwork for us!

1 minute ago, a-447 said:

I'm sorry to read about you experience at the host bar. Damn! I'd already Magee a note of it.

But appreciate the fact that you are doing all the legwork for us!

Glad to! You guys helped me immensely in finding the fun when I got here. I don’t sweat it when the bar is a dud. Just makes you appreciate the good ones more. Just like how 90% of the guys who post here are enjoyable to read. Don’t let the trolls ruin it. Just mute. 👍

20 minutes ago, a-447 said:

What surprised me was the difficulty he had reading Thai. He would run his finger across the words and read each letter of the alphabet.

He told me that due to family circumstances he left school at a very young age and went to work to support his mother and brother and so missed out on an education.

I think there are a lot of guys, especially from Isaan, who have a similar tale to tell.

Yes you are absolutely right. I’ve met guys who are effectively trilingual (the English is a bit of a miss but hey their English is far better than my Thai) yet their reading literacy is borderline.

1 hour ago, spoon said:

Ive made a mistake before when taking a guy to a movie. Most movies in thailand are either dubbed without subtitle or english with thai subtitle.

For a long time I was puzzled by why a regular guy refused to go to the cinema with me since he spent most of his time watching movies on his phone. There were some good ones like the latest Avengers or similar which I thought he would enjoy. Finally it dawned on me that subtitles was the issue, as he couldn’t read fast enough. On a side note I have actually sat through a non-subtitled Thai movie with zero idea about what was going on. It was a rainy day in Pattaya, we were at a loose end on how to pass time, and the boy was anxious to see some newly released blockbuster that all his friends had seen. Just looked it up, it was Khun Paen Begins with Mario Maurer. A Thai historical film which also contained fantasy and slapstick comedy. I’m sure I would have enjoyed it very much if I could understand any of it.

30 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

. I guess I wish they would’ve just switched to their native language in Google Translate to make it easier for them.

The difficulty is that depending on exactly where they grew up, their native language could be Burmese, Thai, or some hill tribe dialect that isn’t available on Google translate. And similarly not all can read Burmese either, especially the standard Burmese used on Google when they likely speak a regional variant.

1 hour ago, a-447 said:

As for his sexual orientation, which is irrelevant (and which you mentioned, not me), I think the bar owner would know. Maybe you should ask Mai about the discrimination he felt from the straight Shan guys working in AA.

No, it was you who stated that he was gay quite emphatically when you said,

I spent every night with him during my holiday, and to me, he was definitely gay. 110%. So it is difficult to believe that he's married, although certainly not impossible. Some succumb to the inevitable social pressure, I guess.

You even implied that he got married due to social pressure. How would you know this when you didn't even know that he was married and had nearly grown up children. And please don't try to obfuscate the issue by bringing up the alleged discrimination by Shan guys. He gets along fine with the Shan guys; many of his staff are Tai-Yai and his old Tai-Yai colleagues from Adam's Apple drop in to see him from time to time. And some Tai-Yai guys are gay too.

1 hour ago, a-447 said:

Listen, I don’t speak a lick of Thai so I usually give them a pass if they mess my language up. But when you’re an English language learning institution… 😆

2 hours ago, a-447 said:

As for the issue of privacy, I imagine it would be difficult for any guy who works in a gay bar, appears in photos advertising the bar, goes off with numerous customers for sex and now runs a gay bar to maintain any semblance of privacy. Mai has never hidden any of that, afaik. And your details about his marital status is also a breach of privacy, no?

What Mai chooses to reveal or hide about his life is his privilege, not yours. And I agree with you, he hasn't hidden the fact that he's married and the information I shared is already in the public domain. All his and his wife's socials are open, which means one doesn't need to be his friend to see his posts which are public. He even shares posts about his family on the Orion account itself which means he's okay with his customers knowing about them. And you can see his wife running the bar with him. From time to time, he will announce birthday parties of his family members, inviting his friends and customers to attend. As I said, go visit sometime. What I haven't seen or heard anywhere - certainly not from Mai himself - is that he is 110% gay. Thus far only you have made that bold claim here.

2 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

Nothing irritates me more than when I see an American getting frustrated with someone in another country because they don’t speak perfect English.

Oh dear, that's terrible! Can you imagine how frustrated they'd be if they went to a country with no Coke Zero, 7-11 or McDonald's?

Quite frankly, it's embarrassing to hear of Americans demanding perfect English when so many of them seem to have barely passable English themselves.

2 hours ago, hank75 said:

On a side note I have actually sat through a non-subtitled Thai movie with zero idea about what was going on.

I wouldve done this had i known about this before hand. I dont care much about movies and going there is really my treat for him. I can always go again anytime lol

On 9/18/2026 at 11:39 AM, aaroninatl said:

Good healthcare. Safe neighborhoods. Cost of living. Quality of life. Weather. Those are the variables that matter.

Sensible list of priorities. I’d recommend to add one more thing, if you are intending to relocate (especially, if it is the first time relocating internationally): access to your embassy and local government & private services, ie getting your visa, bank account, relocation services… setting all these things up is much easier in the capital city than in smaller towns in the provinces. Government and private institutions are more used to expats and there are more service providers to assist the transition.

So, even if you end up settling in the provinces, starting for a few months or a (few) year(s) in Bangkok may make your move much easier.

Just now, EricV said:

Sensible list of priorities. I’d recommend to add one more thing, if you are intending to relocate (especially, if it is the first time relocating internationally): access to your embassy and local government & private services, ie getting your visa, bank account, relocation services… setting all these things up is much easier in the capital city than in smaller towns in the provinces. Government and private institutions are more used to expats and there are more service providers to assist the transition.

So, even if you end up settling in the provinces, starting for a few months or a (few) year(s) in Bangkok may make your move much easier.

Hadn't thought much about that. Great points. Thanks Eric! It's still super early in the Chiang Mai visit. I like it. Don't know if I love it yet like I did Bangkok. But I've got about 10 more days of exploring to do here. Walked through a few different areas today. I knew it would be cheaper here vs the big city, but not by this much. I like that. I think I like the pace of life here too. It's slower but not too remote. One thing I didn't anticipate meaning so much to me is that whole melting pot thing. I liked that a lot about Bangkok and once it vanished in Ko Samui, I noticed that I missed it big time. There's a good mix here in Chiang Mai. But Bangkok really has it all. And on the flip side, I still like having some American life here too when I feel like a little bit of home. Had gingerbread pancakes this morning with bacon at a diner someone here suggested. It was a nice way to start the morning.

So many things to consider for sure. But yeah I can definitely see how being set up initially at least in Bangkok would be advantageous. Getting excited. There are some behind the scenes things going on with my current job (I work only about 10 hours a week at this point) that might complicate things. They are not so crazy about this idea of mine so I might need to form a backup plan. I'm pretty much good to retire now if I want to. But I probably would get bored doing nothing. And I like having a minimal income so I'm not tapping into savings etc. The DTV visa has been the one I have my eye on so lots to consider there. Hoping to not do the retirement one and have to lock up money. Lots of moving pieces.

2 hours ago, spoon said:

I wouldve done this had i known about this before hand. I dont care much about movies and going there is really my treat for him. I can always go again anytime lol

Here’s a tip, it really helps if the lead male is eye candy lol 🤣 Mario Maurer was cute as a button several years ago

42 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

I knew it would be cheaper here vs the big city, but not by this much. I like that. I think I like the pace of life here too. It's slower but not too remote.

You may not have explored the cheaper, local areas of Bangkok yet. If you’ve only experienced Silom, that is a business and tourist district so everything is inflated. Venturing a bit further out you may be surprised at how much prices tumble which could close the gap with Chiang Mai somewhat. Likewise it is possible to build your own slower paced routine when not smack in the center.

Serious question, why is Pattaya not under consideration? I don’t rate it as a city when I only go to Thailand for just for vacation….it is unattractive, touristy, messy. But the greater Pattaya area/Chonburi would be a serious contender for retirement. It is large enough to have all urban comforts, but also has the lower prices, slower pace, great access to medical and dental care. And of course bars and nightlife should one wish. A quick ninety minute drive to Bangkok for any embassy affairs. I’m also drawn to staying near a beach though you’ve mentioned that isn’t a big factor for you.

Pattaya isn’t just the end of road for old mongers, apparently there are new upcoming residential developments further along the coast and is expected to get more cleaned up in the next 10 years. I was told by a 40-something expat couple with young children (who are on the well heeled side of things) that they are building a family house slightly outside of Pattaya with a view to it being for the weekends and later on, their retirement home.

Totally fair question. Pattaya just never struck me when I was back home. The runner-ups that I didn’t end up booking time in were Hua Hin and De Nang. I’m sure I’m slaughtering the spelling.

Pattaya looked like a good place to have a fun weekend, but it didn’t strike me as a place where I’d want to spend my day to day. That quick 24 hour visit I did last month gave me mixed feelings about that. I really liked Jomtien. But the parts of Pattaya I saw were less inspiring. But again, I was only there for 24 hours and most of those were spent drinking lol.

My Airbnb that I like is occupied those first couple nights I get back to Bangkok so that’s when I’m going back to Pattaya. Gonna have some fun at the bars I didn’t see the first time. I don’t anticipate looking around at possible places to live there, but who knows?

The good thing is no matter where I end up. It’s not like I’ll be isolated and can’t visit these other places. Obviously it’ll be a lot easier to jump around from Bangkok.

As for the Bangkok neighborhoods, I spent time in about six or seven. I did stay in Silom. And of course that was most of what I wrote about here on these boards. But that’s because again that’s what these boards are all about. But I checked out a bunch of areas when I was going to markets, temples, restaurants, Muay Thai fights, etc. They were all pretty much tourist areas though. The thing you have to remember is when I booked all this trip, Bangkok wasn’t really a contender for me in terms of where I’d want to settle down. It was really just the landing city. And since I’ve always heard about the fun that one can have there that was pretty much what I planned to do.

Now that I know it is a contender those last two weeks will be a lot different. The last two weeks were left completely open just for this reason. After Chiang Mai, I knew I would be flying back to Bangkok, but I didn’t know if from there I’d want to jump over to Japan or Vietnam or see Ko Samui again. I really didn’t think there would be two more weeks in Bangkok.

But yeah, back to your original question. Jomtien I liked. I’ve lived near beaches for a good chunk of my life and rarely went. And maybe there are other parts of Pattaya I’d like. If you have any suggestions by all means. 👍

The good thing is even if I start in one city I’m not bringing more than two suitcases. The guy who posted earlier how it would probably be smart to start in Bangkok made sense. And if I find the city is too much, I can pack those two bags and move on.