If you are considering Chiang Mai as a place to live, check out the Nimman (Nimmanhaemin) area & see if you like the vibe. It’s more residential, less touristy, popular with a younger crowd and has lots of bars, restaurants, etc..

You have been successful on Grindr, so might give that a try there…

10 minutes ago, EricV said:

If you are considering Chiang Mai as a place to live, check out the Nimman (Nimmanhaemin) area & see if you like the vibe. It’s more residential, less touristy, popular with a younger crowd and has lots of bars, restaurants, etc..

You have been successful on Grindr, so might give that a try there…

That was where I actually originally booked an Airbnb. The digital nomad coffeehouse culture part was appealing. I don’t remember exactly why I changed my mind. But yeah, I’ll definitely head over there a few times while I’m here. Was going to go today, but I have been lazy and doing laundry and stuff here at the Airbnb. Of the neighborhoods I’ve read about that’s the one that seems to be the most likely.

I'm not into apps, either. I much prefer sitting with a guy and having a bit of a chat, seeing how friendly he is and making sure his appendage is'original'.

The only time I've found a guy on an app was when I was in Prague. I used gayromeo.

I found the experience harrowing as I waited for him outside my hotel.

What if he didn't look like his photo? What if I didn't like him? What if he was a dud in bed? What if it turned out to be a 'you cum, I go' experience? What if he's on drugs?

He came around the corner, saw me, smiled and waved. Omg! He was gorgeous!

Back in the room we sat on the bed, had a drink and chatted. My heart was beating furiously. He told me he was a nurse, which was very reassuring, as I felt I was about to have a heart attack.🤣

He put me completely at ease. I let him take the lead.

I was still a little apprehensive as I'm used to having sex with Asian guys, not westerners.

Needless to say, it was an incredible experience!

Being the consummate professional, his technique was awesome. I could have played with that enormous cock forever.

In the unlikely event that I can't find a suitable guy on my next trip to Thailand, I will bite the bullet and give Grindr a go.

Yeah, the meeting guys from online thing is hit or miss. Sometimes the anticipation is better than the actual event. But yeah, you’re making me miss Prague now I used to go there a lot. They used to have really great clubs like Escape and Pinocchio where you could actually meet the guys before you spend the night with them. But I think both have long since closed.

The way that it’s easy to weed seedy guys out is if they’ll meet in public first. I always meet someone at a Starbucks or something along those lines. If they’re not willing to do that, then it’s kind of a red flag. That’s true whether it’s a natural connection or a paid thing.

BTW if it is a paid meeting, one thing I always insist is telling them to take a photo doing something they wouldn't do in a normal pose... like hold 3 fingers in the air. Something that can't be already found on their phone. It annoys some, but it's just another way to weed out the ones who'll be difficult in person... or those who're being environmental and recycling photos from 3 years ago.

53 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

I’m saying the culture of the gay bar has become a nostalgic thing for guys our age. Those 50 and below have always had everything from gay.com to now Grindr. Going out and paying high drink prices is lost on many of them. And in the hiring scene, especially in Europe and South America, guys don’t wanna wait all night in a bar hoping they’re going to get paid. They’d rather just put an ad online and let the fish bite. If there are no bites, they haven’t wasted a night of their youth. Maybe that’s starting to happen here as well.

And it is what you wrote above that is killing off the gay bar scene. With the current trajectory of apps over real life encounters - soon we will all become "prisoners" of the apps - with no access to alternate venues to entertain ourselves. I hope that I die before that type of gay world takes over.

The gay hinterland economic centers of Thailand; Chiang Mai, Koh Samui, Phuket (Patong), Hua Hin, Hat Yai, and Pattaya, etc. are now much smaller than they were years ago - as there are now less venues on offer. Yet, we have potential new retirees who come to visit Thailand and visit these gay hinterland economic centers and leave with a sense of disappointment - as they are no match to the allure of the big city Bangkok with its very vibrant gay economic areas. Consequently, I would argue that most potential new retirees settle in Bangkok, instead of the many other nice places that exist in Thailand due to a lack of vibrant gay life out in the Thai hinterland.

One of the reasons i only buy 1 drink at Super A🤣🤣

2 minutes ago, musgrave said:

One of the reasons i only buy 1 drink at Super A🤣🤣

Yeah I really would prefer they just charge a cover and get it over with like they do in other countries. The Thai way of doing it just discourages me from sticking around and probably spending more. But I'd imagine they've done the math over the decades and found this is the way to go. For me, same as you... I'll have a drink and move on. If I'm going to pay for 2 cover charges via a drink, I'm going to 2 different bars.

10 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

And it is what you wrote above that is killing off the gay bar scene.

Yup. All you can do is support what we have left. When we complain about drink prices or fees, the bars aren't non-profits.

The conveniences of the internet have decimated many industries. Most Americans haven't held a newspaper in decades. Online you get the news instantly (rarely accurately) for free. People like convenience and immediacy. And now they like the news spun just the way they want so there are cable channels that'll tell you exactly what you want to hear. When's the last time you used a phone book? It's all a trade off.

You've still got a pretty robust number of options here in Thailand.... especially in Pattaya and Bangkok. I'd imagine both have quite a bit of time left before the inevitable.

Someone earlier mentioned Prague. That used to be a fun playground. Escape is probably the closest thing I can say I've been to that's like a host bar. You'd be buzzed in. There'd be a dozen or two cute Czech guys roaming around a club. Once you picked your guy, you'd invite him over and negotiate. He'd be yours for the night both at the club and after. You paid for your drinks and theirs. No off fee because there was a cover charge and the drink prices were elevated. None of those bars exist anymore in Prague as far as I know. It's all online. And for the guys, can you blame them? Imagine you're 21 and it's Friday night. Do you want to try to seduce a bunch of old men in person for 6 hours or wait for your phone to buzz with an offer and only lose an hour of your time from video games or your girlfriend? (Most of the guys working in the Czech scene then were straight... which I loved!)

Anyway yeah, listen technology changes things. We used to have 3 TV stations now there are 300. Beyond that there's YouTube and instant gratification of streaming services so you don't wait for your show to come on anymore. People like convenience and the internet blew everything wide open in many industries... especially "adult entertainment." We don't have to go to a theater to find something to jerk off to. You double click on your favorite website. Same thing happened to hooking up... for money and not for money.

What can you do? You can't uninvent the internet. Just support what we have left.

59 minutes ago, EricV said:

You have been successful on Grindr, so might give that a try there…

The apps were good for me in Nimman. I was there over high season so there were generous pickings from the young energetic Asian tourists swarming the area. I met a Japanese guy who was great fun in and out of the hotel room, we went to see a couple of sights and a craft beer place together. Did not have any encounters with locals at all.

1 hour ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Also, I chatted up the massage shop owners and masseurs to the point that I employed some of them to be my wingmen and/or tour guides and through this mechanism I was able to break into the gay world of Koh Samui.

I do this too. I have offed boys to be my wingmen when I want to go to certain places or local joints. It actually works well to select boys with similar taste to myself in men because they know exactly where to go to find them, and enjoy the night as much as I do.

5 minutes ago, hank75 said:

I do this too. I have offed boys to be my wingmen when I want to go to certain places or local joints. It actually works well to select boys with similar taste to myself in men because they know exactly where to go to find them, and enjoy the night as much as I do.

Thank you for saying this.

In the case of aaroninatl, it is super pertinent for him to use this approach (in my opinion) because the stated primary goal of this trip to Thailand is to help him to understand where in Thailand he would like to retire to and be the most happiest.

In my opinion, meeting a guy on Grindr and getting an orgasm from him is not a good way to determine a life changing decision = where do I want to retire to.....

I know I've said it 100 times but guys, availability of guys, availability of paid guy options, Grindr search results, gay bars, gay clubs... zero impact on my decision. :)

Good healthcare. Safe neighborhoods. Cost of living. Quality of life. Weather. Those are the variables that matter. Thus why Chiang Mai was more of a leading contender over Bangkok. With 2 cities down on this visit, much has changed. Koh Samui is off the list now. It felt like I was in Daytona Beach. I like chill, but it was too chill. Bangkok surprised me. I thought the heat would be unbearable. I thought there would be brutal air quality with all the traffic. Bangkok just had all the positives of a big city in the US without the drawbacks I'm used to with American big cities... crazy expensive rents, rudeness, the smell of urine everywhere, crime. So as of now, Bangkok might be my leading contender - at least to start when I move here. I loved the diversity since it's like their NYC with populations from all the Asian countries. I loved the convenience of having everything within a short walk. But Bangkok's lead so far has Z-E-R-O to do with gay life.

When I'm not in vacation mode, I almost never go to gay bars or load up Grindr. Most of my friends are straight. You're far more likely to see me at a sports bar than stuffing $1 bills in underwear. It's why your "PLU" term was lost on me. :). I think because I've posted about the bars people assume it's a big factor. It's not. It's just what this message board is about. I've gone to temples too but that doesn't mean I'm going to be a Buddhist.

So far I haven't really formed an opinion one way or the other on Chiang Mai. It's only been 24 hours. I love the condo I'm in. The rent is crazy low. I think it's a nice compromise between Bangkok and Samui in terms of pace. But I haven't been to all the neighborhoods yet. I've got 2 weeks to explore. And then if Bangkok is still the leader after that, I've got 2 more weeks there to do a deeper dive on neighborhoods and apartments.

Friday night part 1…

OK, there’s definitely no earlybird scene tonight. After dinner I wandered by Orion bar and Connections and neither were really going yet. Confused employees wondered why I was there. Connections seem to have a few guys hanging out. But I guess they don’t get going till at least 10? The guys in the photo sitting outside made no effort. So I just left. .

I already made a table reservation at the “Hugs” / Flowers place for 930 so I’m back at my Airbnb for a few. Anyone have any experience with this “Horbuppachat” place? As best as I can tell it opened this year. From the flyer it looks like you rent a room for an hour. But it’s a bar/restaurant. Maybe it’s a host bar. Planning to wing it tonight with Google Translate as my wingman. We’ll see what happens. The photos of the guys on their Facebook are promising.

5 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

Anyone have any experience with this “Horbuppachat” place? As best as I can tell it opened this year. From the flyer it looks like you rent a room for an hour. But it’s a bar/restaurant.

It seems to be one of these newish concepts where you order drinks and food and the guys come over to keep you company. Kind of like a host bar but no need to buy the guy a personal stack of drinks before they will deign to come over. You just have to keep some drink or food orders on your table. I heard of one recently, a different place to Hobuphachat (yes that’s the English name)

it’s so uniquely Thai how they try to keep from appearing anything but what they are. 😆 Some it’s a bar/restaurant. Some use massage as a front. We should all chip in and just buy a place and name it “Fuck it. It’s a brothel folks.”

7 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

..... I did not give preference to the apps, as I much prefer to meet the guys live = "face to face" as I find that (too often forgotten) human approach much more productive to break into a new place.

you are not alone

6 hours ago, a-447 said:

I'm not into apps, either. I much prefer sitting with a guy and having a bit of a chat, seeing how friendly he is and making sure his appendage is'original'.

..................

In the unlikely event that I can't find a suitable guy on my next trip to Thailand, I will bite the bullet and give Grindr a go.

in perennial dilemma bar/ clubs or apps my thinking is that is good we have a choice.

I'm also one of those who go for bar option first treating drink prices as tickets for entertainment and facilitating interaction.

When bars fail , it's reassuring that there may be somebody on the apps.

Another use I found for apps is substitute communicator, with quite a few bar and massage boys I did not exchange Line of WhatsApp and communicate with them through Grindr in my hour of need. Needs to be said it seems THEIR hour of need happens more often though

6 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

Yeah, the meeting guys from online thing is hit or miss.

.................
BTW if it is a paid meeting, one thing I always insist is telling them to take a photo doing something they wouldn't do in a normal pose... like hold 3 fingers in the air. Something that can't be already found on their phone.

meeting in person is not 100% fool proof, occasionally even after drinking and/or talking with guy in the bar, when in the room he may turn disappointing for this reason or that.

My last taste of that was last trip in July , one of guys , smiley and clingy in the bar and in the restaurant after we left ,but as soon as doors closed it was become obvious he wand just to do the deed , cash in and leave and was not even quite straight forward about that.

What tickles me particularly are guys who promise Long Time (overnight ) and after few hours are looking for excuse to leave , even accepting great reduction in tip negotiated. Death sentence as far as future offs go. It's my revenge in such cases unless guy is well rehearsed before which may result in another chance .

..............

great idea with that unusual pictures but again, picture is 2 dimensional but guy showing at the door arrives three-dimensional so still there may be variation as some people come extremely well on photos.

On 9/17/2026 at 9:23 PM, a-447 said:

The guys never disappointed! One of my regular offs from Adams - Mai - runs the Orion Bar in the night bazaar with his sister. He is the sweetest guy you could ever meet! A lot of local guys play pool there and are available for fun.

555 🤣😂😅 That's not his sister, that's his wife, Book. Book is from Isaan and Mai is from Surat Thani in the south. They've been together twenty years at least and work well together. They've got two adolescent boys who work/hang out at the bar occasionally. I'm not sure how that works as you need to be at least 20 years old to work in a venue that serves alcohol. What's worse is that I've seen both boys drinking and I'm not sure the younger one is of age (as of January this year). I only stop by to say hi when in town and move on.

Please verify ages if planning to have sex with any of the guys in Soi 6 most of whom are freelancers or from any other venue where freelancers congregate, which can be tricky as some do not have IDs or they have IDs with fake information (I'll explain this some other time as I'm dozing off). Make sure they aren't stoned or high.

This must be the Debbie Downer thread of the year. I'd like to remind readers, particularly those who only visit the forum occasionally, to take trip reports and reviews with a bucketful of salt. They're the subjective views of the reviewer and are influenced by their personality, preferences and biases.

Friday night part 2…

The mystery bar was a dud. Complete waste of time and money. I’m not even going to recount the details. Too annoyed. They deserve zero attention. On the long ride back to CM to try to start the night over.

6 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

You can't uninvent the internet.

why would we ? in such a case we did not have this forum

1 minute ago, vinapu said:

why would we ? in such a case we did not have this forum

I was going to say the exact same thing. Like I said … trade-offs.

Friday night part 3.

Hope you’re enjoying the live update. 11pm and my mood is much better. I am back at Orion. Much happier now. About a dozen guys. Most of them are seated with clients at the moment. But a good vibe I like this place. Certainly nothing fancy. But I don’t need fancy.

1 hour ago, mauRICE said:

555 🤣😂😅 That's not his sister, that's his wife,

You may well be right. One of us has been given a 'bum steer'.

I ran into Mai at the Orion not long after he was told by AA that he was now too old to work there.

He told me that the woman he introduced me to as the co-owner of the bar was his sister.

The owner of AA told me that he had 2 gay guys working there - both were bottoms. One of them was Mai.

I spent every night with him during my holiday, and to me, he was definitely gay. 110%. So it is difficult to believe that he's married, although certainly not impossible. Some succumb to the inevitable social pressure, I guess.

Anyway, two different stories.

That's not impossible, either!

16 hours ago, a-447 said:

Seems counterproductive.

Hopping into bed with a guy who is drunk - or on drugs- does not guarantee a happy ending!

I'd rather give the bar the drink money in cash and take the guy home sober.

I believe someone on the forum has written about the host bars. The rich customers who go to host bars are not there to off the guys but to flaunt their wealth. Their happy ending comes when they succeed in showing off to the other customers that they can buy the most drinks.

6 hours ago, a-447 said:

You may well be right.

I am and it looks like you've been had, in more ways than one. The fact that Mai is married with family isn't a secret and their family pictures are splattered all over their socials. They celebrate their anniversaries and birthdays at the bar which are usually well attended by their regular customers. Book is there behind the counter daily and is primarily in charge of the business side of things although she does mingle with the customers. Mai is the PR guy for the bar and is well known by many local and visiting farang. Just this past January Book was complaining to me about her sick mum back in Isaan. Mai's sons bear a strong resemblance to him; they have his hair and complexion. Anyway, don't take my word for it; go see for yourself.

By the way I have no idea what Mai's sexual orientation is and what role he takes on in bed. I believe he's entitled to his privacy and the fact that he used to be a sex worker doesn't change this. It's his privilege as to whether he'd like to share that side of his life with others and I give him the same respect as I would to anyone else trying to make a living.