jimmie50

More musings…I cannot believe that I have not seen one 7-11 anywhere I have been in Cambodia. What is up with that? In fact, while there might be the occasional Mini-Mart type of establishment, there doesn’t seem to be one main company that is established. They appear to be local establishments…similar to what Cam’s sister and brother-in-law own and operate in Poipet. Many small carts that offer a variety of snacks and treats, but nothing as prolific as in other Asian countries I am familiar with. Even at the airport in Singapore, they have 7-11 everywhere. lol. In case you were wondering, all of Cam’s immediate family stayed safe and avoided any damage during the recent floods. Clear skies, heat and humidity have returned to most of the affected areas and water is gradually receding. His sister in Poipet did not have any flooding in their area so the store was safe. Since they were able to open but unable to restock, some shelves are nearly empty. The tailor shop where his sister works as a seamstress was unaffected as well. Sister with the food cart had a number of days she was unable to work simply because of the weather…same for his brother. Construction was pretty much at a standstill, but his home and family was safe and dry. Parents were safe and sound as well. Too much rain even for the rice fields, so Cam isn’t sure about the farm. His father will go and check in the next few days. Extended family in Battambang did not fare as well and did have to deal with some flooding. I think we may actually sign up for a tour of the temples. Even though Cam has been before, he doesn’t really know much about the history to be able to answer my questions or provide too many details. He actually did a tour himself when he visited. There are any number of tour establishments, so it should not be too much trouble to join a group.

Just a quick update: Had a nice late afternoon ride out to the temple grounds. It was actually very pleasant. Stopped along the way for some fried bananas. Decided to cook for dinner instead of eating out. Nothing fancy…just used up some leftover rice I had stashed in the refrigerator from yesterday to make fried rice. Used lardons for added flavor, tossed in some veggies, and the obligatory red chilies. Cam will eat those things like candy. I can handle two or three in most dishes, but three is my maximum. Anyway, while we were eating I decided to pursue the conversation about gifting at holidays in general. Basically, I was on a fishing expedition. lol. It would seem there are two holidays where money is given…Pchum Ben and Khmer New Year. For both holidays, they always give to the parents. For Kmer New Year they would also give to grandparents if they were still alive. Cam has one grandmother still living. They also give to young children…under 12. Cam gave 100 Baht to each of his 14 nieces and nephews for New Year. He gave 1000 Baht to his grandmother and 3000 Baht to his parents. His siblings contribute to the fund collectively…as a couple, not as individuals…with the exception of his one sister who is currently separated from her husband. He does not know what their arrangement is. As is sometimes the case between us regarding communication, language can be an issue. That seems to be the case here. His intent was not to ask if I was going to give something to his parents, but was to ask me if I wanted to join him in giving something to his parents. So it would be a gift from both of us to the family pool. His parents actually never know who contributed how much as they all give the oldest sibling (brother) their contributions and he in turn puts it in an envelope and presents it to the parents. So, I will definitely give Cam some money to participate in the gift. Still debating about amount, but may decide to match Cam’s contribution of 8000 Baht. I don’t think I will go over that amount as I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable about it. He obviously wants me to feel included.

Having been in a ten year relationship with my ex who was from Taiwan, I am very familiar with red envelopes and the experience of gifting money to his parents, grandmother, niece, nephew, as well as weddings for family and friends. But then we were gifting as a couple...not separate entities. I need to engage Cam in more conversation about this, as has been suggested, to determine if this is a one off situation annually or there will be more times throughout the year. I also need to ask if the spouses of his brother and his sisters contribute separately or they contribute to the 'family pool' as a couple. I would say at this point his mother probably considers me as the spouse. Father is difficult to get a read on for me, so not sure what he really thinks or believes the situation is. He certainly makes me feel welcome and included. No idea what the siblings really think about the situation. This will be the first official family get together with the entire clan present at one time.

Here are some miscellaneous musings…definitely seeing and experiencing mosquitos. Never noticed them in Thailand very much, even when venturing outside of Bangkok, but they are everywhere here. I am assuming this is partially due to the weather and all of the recent rains and flooding. Have gotten several bites and tried to buy some calamine lotion at the pharmacy. Nothing available, but the pharmacist offered an alternative gel so I bought it. Hopefully it will at least help to reduce the itchiness. Either he is accustomed to it or they don’t bother Cam, but this very fair-skinned Caucasian has definitely become their favorite target. We also purchased some spray. Discovered Angkor Supermarket. They have three locations. There is one not too far from where we are staying. Very similar to Foodland or Tops in Bangkok but massive. Three stories. Since our accommodation does have a kitchen, we purchased a few items to cook instead of always eating out while in Siem Reap. Their meat selection is quite extensive and looks very nice. They even sell pre-packaged kits for cooking that include all of the veggies, meat and spices required. Very convenient. We purchased some minced pork which I cook with Napa or Chinese cabbage (in California we always called it Napa, but here it is labeled as Chinese) and onion. Also purchased a beef stir fry kit and a black chicken. Cam will deal with the chicken. To be honest, I had never seen a black chicken before. Went to the market area this morning. Mostly tourist type stalls, and even saw a handful of tourists milling around. Many locals on the inside where they sell fresh meats, vegetables and fruits, as well as a few food stalls preparing meals. Anything and everything imaginable for sell in this area. Many things I was not familiar with. Again, people were very friendly but no sense of high pressure sales tactics. While out exploring last night and looking for a place to have dinner, we ended up at Khmer Taste. I believe this was mentioned recently in a post by @Department_Of_Agriculture . He mentioned it was recommended to him by folks that said it was very authentic and good. We were not necessarily looking for this specific restaurant but just walked by and decided to try it. There are a number of restaurants on the same street. Most were very quiet, but this particular place and the one directly across the street were very busy…I would estimate at least 50% of capacity. That might not sound like very many people, but when there are only one or two customers in the surrounding places that adds up to a lot. Anyway, I tried the Fish Amok. My first time. It was actually quite good. Cam had stir fried frogs. I couldn’t muster up enough courage to try his dish. It just did not look appealing at all. Two main dishes, Fried Spring Rolls for an appetizer, one bottle of water (me) and a bottle of Angkor beer for Cam…all for $10.25! Cam said the food was very authentic and excellent. He would definitely go back and would recommend it to others. It is very close to Pub Street area.

Well, the subject of money finally came up today, but in a totally unexpected way. Cam and I were eating lunch and the subject turned to the approaching national holiday October 10-12, Pchum Ben. I am not sure if it is to honor, remember, or perhaps both...the ancestors. Cam was explaining it is a time for family to return home and enjoy time together. It involves 4:30am trips to the temple to make merit and offer prayers and at least one large family feast or meal together. During the discussion, he explained that to show honor and respect to parents you should provide them with a gift or an envelope containing money at the feast on the last day of the holiday. Naturally, we also discussed if we would be going. Just as a point of my being curious...I asked him if there was a set amount of money they tried to give his parents. He explained that each family is different, and it really boils down to what each family member is able to afford financially. Cam said he and his siblings (and their spouses) always pooled their money to give to their parents. They don't give a separate amount to his mother and something also to his father. It is collectively. I asked what he has contributed in the past. Rather than tell me in Riel, he said he tries to give 7000-8000 Baht which would roughly be a little over $200 USD. Pursuing this conversation, I did not anticipate what would happen next. In a simple matter of fact manner he asked me what I planned to contribute. Took me a little bit by surprise. Guess I truly am a member of the family. lol. Certainly do not mind contributing in this instance, but no idea what would be an appropriate amount from me. If anyone has thoughts or suggestions, send them my way. October 12 is still a couple of weeks away.

First impressions of Cambodia…people are very friendly. Similar to what I found in Thailand. Country seems to be more rural and less developed. Cam’s family was very warm and caring. People we met in his hometown were very welcoming. Definitely has that small town vibe where everyone knows everyone as well as everyone’s business. Life is much more slow paced and relaxed. I don’t get the impression that people worry about much or take life too seriously. In Siem Reap now, it might be considered a big city but it has that overall small town feeling as well. People here are more laid back. For example, there is no high pressure tactics from remork or tuktuk drivers. They are very leisurely relaxing or even napping in their vehicles if there are no customers interested in their services. Same for the market areas. When walking through, I did not feel any pressure from shop keepers to enter or buy something. Very similar attitude with most shops and restaurants we have walked past. Very different from the feeling I had in Bangkok where I felt constantly bombarded to buy something, eat here, or ride somewhere. Traffic is bad for sure, but I attribute that to not enough infrastructure. Too many two lane roads that do not have the capacity to handle the number of vehicles. I will say that I felt much safer as a pedestrian in Bangkok than I do here in Siem Reap. It seems regardless of the type of vehicle you are driving, you have no consideration whatsoever for people on foot. This seems like a contradiction to me from how warm and friendly the people are. Put them in control of some type of vehicle and that friendliness disappears. lol. In the city, we have seen a few foreigners, but I wouldn’t say there were many walking around the city…at least in areas we have seen so far. Most seem to be Australian based upon accent…older or retirees. Saw a couple of smaller tour buses with perhaps 20 persons on board with a guide. I have not seen any public transit system here to speak of…not sure if it exists or not. Interesting experience at the Visa Service this morning. Went to one of the two highly recommended places on the Facebook Cambodian Expat Group. I had done my research online in advance of this trip and so had all of the various documents the government website stated would be required: Official letter of retirement; Official statement of retirement monthly income; Health Certificate; Criminal background check; Residence in Cambodia (using Cam’s address for this); copy of Visa; passport with at least six months before expiration date, passport photo. We walked into the office and I pulled out my binder with all of the various documents. The only thing they wanted was the passport, the passport photo, and the current visa. They said nothing else was needed except payment. I knew the price would be $290 in USD from the immigration website plus whatever fee the agency would charge. She assured me nothing else was needed in the way of documentation and it should be back within 10 days. She will call Cam when they receive it back from Phnom Penh. No problems and no worries according to her. We will probably be in Battambang by then, so that will mean another ride to Siem Reap on the motorbike. Fun, fun, fun.

My ex was from Taiwan. That was my first experience with a squat toilet. Very common there when we would go to visit his family. Got used to them. Wouldn't necessarily be my choice if building a new house, but for Cam's father...there will be one in an outside bathroom. lol.

Don't knock it until you try it. lol. I'm 75 and Cam is 28. Not an issue for either one of us.

It takes one hour to drive either direction to Battambang or Poipet from his village. He has family and friends in Battambang and Poipet, but associates more with Battambang. I have not been to Poipet, so have no point of reference as to distance. We will go to Battambang next, but travel there from Siem Reap, so again, my point of reference in regards to his hometown will be unknown. However, once in Battambang we will probably travel to his hometown so that will give me a better idea of distance and road conditions. The one friend he has in Poipet is from his hometown and they grew up together. He works in Poipet now. His one sister also lives in Poipet. She is the one who has the convenience or general type store...well, she and her husband.

https://cambodianess.com/article/authorities-prepare-evacuations-as-floods-hit-northwest-provinces

Not sure about that. I couldn't check out without paying it. Wasn't an option.

To be honest, it all happened so fast and I wasn't exactly asked. lol. I was told there was a change in plans and this is what we were going to be doing instead. I was not asked what my personal preference would be. It was definitely an experience I had not planned on, but as long as we were together I made do with the situation. That was more important to me. What is that expression...the things we do for love. LOL.

Same here. I did not submit any of the documents. Treated it as 'optional'. I did pay the $6 service fee in addition to the $30 visa fee. Received the visa within 24 hours. Completed the arrival card online in advance as well. On arrival in Siem Reap was all automated. Fast and easy process.

Correct. The new house is not for me. It is for his parents. The current toilet situation is a squat toilet outdoors. There has been quite some discussion within the family as to the new house. Father is old school and continues to want a squat toilet and says it just be outside. The rest of the family wants an indoor bathroom with a 'normal' style toilet. So, the plan is to have and indoor bathroom and an outdoor bathroom. Father can go outside...everyone else will go inside. lol.

So, the toilet at the farm is basically a hole in the ground...period. The 'shack' on the farm doesn't provide much shelter and is basically for sleeping. Shower does not exist. It is a tank of mostly rain water with a plastic scoop you use to get wet, then soap up lightly, then rinse with the plastic scoop. As I said in my new travel post...not the usual comforts of home. lol

No cell service at the farm. He has cell service at his house. We were back at the house when I received Jason's Line message. Even though Cam and I had regular...daily communication...when he was at the farm we did not. That only happened a couple of times and only overnight. And there were times when the connection at his home was terrible and we could barely chat. It was definitely a source of frustration for us both at times.

We are now back in Siem Reap and will stay here for one week. Getting here was a challenge because of seven or eight days straight of torrential rains. Flooding is quite severe in many areas. Some roads are closed or probably should be closed due to the flooding. It is not isolated to any one area, but most of northwest Cambodia is under water. There is finally a little bit of blue sky and sunshine today, although the forecast still calls for rain later this evening. We will be doing some sightseeing this week, as well as taking care of business. I need to do the visa extension process to get the retirement visa. There are a number of businesses in Siem Reap that provide this service. I have narrowed it down to two based upon recommendations from the online Facebook expat group in Cambodia. A little apprehensive about letting go of my passport, but no choice in the matter. It has to be sent to Phnom Penh. As far as me and Cam…things are going quite well. We have picked up right where we left off in our relationship…have not skipped a beat. Cam was always very attentive and showed affection towards me. If anything, that has increased…regardless if his family is around or not. It did not seem to bother anyone in the least, and his mother was constantly fussing over me. I will say that Cam is slightly different away from the Bangkok scene…in a good way. Even though he might hang out with friends, these are real friends he has known his entire life. In Bangkok, just by nature of the work environment and his so-called ‘friends’ there, he would drink quite heavily and usually hard liquor. His hours were very different as well…sleep all day and up all night. Of course, when we were living together away from Silom, during those three months he was more regulated and what I call normal daily routines and sleep habits. Being back in Cambodia, he is usually in bed by 10pm and up around 6:30am to prepare for work. He might have one or two beers when out with friends, but that is not very often. He loves spending time with the nieces and nephews, is really great with them, and they all seem to adore him as well. All in all, it just is very natural and comfortable. As I said…we have not skipped a beat.

Unless you are very familiar with Cambodia, you are probably wondering where Banteay Meanchey province is located, and why on earth I would be heading there. Well, the province is located about halfway between Siem Reap and the Thai-Cambodian border crossing at Poipet. That is where Cam’s hometown is located. It would seem that Cam’s father had decided this was the time they needed to go to the farm and fertilize the rice fields. Cam’s home is not actually on the farm but located more in the small village or commune. I am somewhat challenged in understanding the difference between village, commune, district, and province. lol. The farm is actually a good 45 minutes to one hour drive from Cam’s house in a very rural, isolated area. We ended up staying at the farm for three nights. There was no cell service and electricity was spotty. It was very rustic and reminded me of when I was in junior high and high school and would go to church camp in the summer or on work missions with the church youth group to Belize in Central America. When you are 13-17 years old, you don’t mind rustic so much and look at it as more of an adventure. However, when you are mid-70’s it contained almost no excitement for me. The only good thing was having Cam there beside me for the ordeal. Cam, his father, and his father’s older brother tended to the rice fields and completed spreading the fertilizer. There is a small ‘building’ at the farm where we stayed. For lack of a better word, I refer to it as a shack, but certainly did not have any of the comforts of home. As I expected, the fence project did not get completed before my arrival. As a result, once we finished at the farm we went to Cam’s house for the remainder of the first week so that the fence could be finished. Cam’s brother could only help for a few days because he had other work lined up and would need to return home. Since the brother has his own construction business, he had the knowledge and the tools needed to finish the fence. This is why it became necessary for us to spend several days on the front end of my trip at Cam’s house with the family. I was well aware of the fact that internet connection at his home is not always the greatest or reliable. Something we have been dealing with since we both returned home. In addition to that, electricity is very expensive in Cambodia. Since we were at his parents house for several days, in addition to feeling like it would be very rude to spend time on my computer when his family was going out of their way to make sure I felt welcomed, I also did not want to ‘plug in’ too many devices. I did charge my cell phone as needed and my watch every night. Consequently, I have not been online to make any posts until now.

Sorry for the delay in posting anything from the Kingdom of Cambodia. I am alive and well, and so far have survived the experience. I will say it has not gone according to the original plan. Things have a way of happening when family is involved. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing…but I am certainly learning to ‘go with the flow’ so to speak. Not an easy task for a retired high school teacher whose daily routine was structured around a bell schedule. lol. Where I am more of a detail oriented person who likes to follow a somewhat regular routine and like to plan things in advance, I know that Cam is completely the opposite. I had to learn to adapt when we were living together in Bangkok, and now that we are together in Cambodia with all of his family nearby…I really just let things happen and forget about any planning or details. So, let me back up and fill in the blanks for everyone. ‘Go with the flow’ also has special meaning as much of Cambodia, Thailand, and Myanmar are under water at the moment due to extremely heavy rains over a 7 day period. Too much rainwater and no place for it to go, so there is severe flooding in many places. Flight from Denver to San Francisco was uneventful. Since it was the first flight out in the morning, we managed to arrive a few minutes early. Since it was booked as two separate tickets, I had to retrieve my luggage from domestic baggage claim and make my way to the international terminal and recheck my bags with Singapore Airlines. The layover was just a little over three hours, so plenty of time to do that without feeling rushed. I also had to wait around 45 minutes for the Singapore counters to open. The flight on Singapore Airlines was great, although once again we did experience a fair amount of turbulence the first couple of hours due to that severe weather system hitting California…El Nino. The cabin was very comfortable and service exceptional. I know I have said this before, but it is really worth repeating…customer service on Asian airlines is far superior to anything you get on domestic carriers in the US. There is a reason why Singapore Airlines is ranked number 1 for 2026 and there are no US carriers ranked in the top ten. While the Singapore airport has free Snooze Lounges available in every terminal, there are also transit hotels within several terminals that you can access without leaving the airport and needing to deal with immigration. I had opted for one of these, Ambassador Transit Hotel/Lounge, in Terminal 2. Would definitely recommend to anyone with a long layover, and it was reasonably priced. I had made a reservation online in advance through Booking.com and it was only $40 USD. That seemed very reasonable to me. I must admit with a ten hour layover in Singapore I was concerned if my luggage would actually make it onto the flight to Siem Reap, but on arrival I was very pleased to see both bags had made it. Since I had already completed the visa process in advance as well as the arrival card for Cambodia, immigration was smooth sailing. I was able to use the automated system without any problems. The airport was not busy at all and it took very little wait time at baggage claim. Walked outside from baggage claim and Cam was right there waiting for me. He drove up the night before and spent the night in Siem Reap since my flight arrived early morning. He had arranged for car service to/from the airport, so we traveled back into Siem Reap in comfort. The original plan was to spend a few days in Siem Reap before traveling on to Battambang. However, as it turned out the family had other ideas. Several days ended up just being one night for me in Siem Reap before heading to Banteay Meanchey province.

Correct. It will be interesting for sure...as well as a challenge. Am I up for it...only time will tell.

Good question...not a clue, although he does have family there and also some friends. There are a couple of cousins his age he is close to...perhaps some of them?!? Not sure what either of us will be doing once there in regards to staying busy and interacting with others. Definitely will be a learning experience.

That was life in Bangkok, and he did not have a group of friends there who would play sports. I was referring to life now in Cambodia...and the work I meant was the construction work they are doing at the family home. His schedule at home is totally different from what it was in Bangkok working at the club. At home he is up around 6:30am and they usually are starting to work by 7am. They will take breaks throughout the day, but in general they finish working for the day around 4pm. He will shower and then meet his friends at a nearby field where they play sports. They maybe play for around 90 minutes. Sometimes they will sit around after the game talking and drink a beer, but he is almost always home by 7pm. So very different from what his life was like in Bangkok. And there is always family around visiting. He loves having fun with the nieces and nephews. His friends are actual friends he has known and grown up with and people he says he can genuinely count on if he ever needed anything. Just like he is helping his friend out by paying him to help with the fence project at the moment. While the Cambodian group of guys back in Bangkok do refer to each other as 'friends', Cam says they are not true friends but merely acquaintances. It is interesting to me the influence the environment and his peers have on him and the difference between his life in Bangkok and his life back home in Cambodia. I refer to it as the nature of the beast, so to speak. Working at the club, drinking with customers, and hanging out with his Cambodian buddies...they were always drinking and quite heavily...not just beer, but lots of hard liquor nightly. He would also smoke (vape) in Bangkok. Back at home, when he is hanging out with his lifelong friends they may have one or two beers but it is not an every day occurrence and never any late nights. Even when family comes to visit, they only drink beer and then it is only one or two at the most. He has not smoked since he has been back home. I suppose it is a perfect example of how peer pressure or our environment influences what we do.

Be aware when you talk about football anywhere outside of the US the rest of the world is talking about soccer. Even in sports bars you will need to be specific and ask for 'American football' or they will put on a soccer game or refer you to a soccer game. lol. Cam goes to play sports with friends in the evenings. He is always playing volleyball or, in his words, 'football'. In American English he is talking soccer. I am constantly being corrected by him when I say...oh, you mean soccer. He replies, no...football. LOL.

I really do appreciate the leading/looping questions from you and also floridarob. It does cause me to pause and think things through more carefully. I am trying to enter into this adventure with eyes wide open and no blinders on. One step at a time. So far things have been very positive between me and Cam. I do thank you for being protective...I can sometimes be a little naive or too trusting.

It was great meeting up with you, your boyfriend, and your Denver friend. I certainly never expected anyone from the forum to actually connect with me on my home turf in Denver. This isn't exactly a main destination for folks! lol. There is something about the posts forum members make and the camaraderie that develops from our mutual interest that we begin to form a vision in our minds of who the person is and what they might look like. I knew right away when floridarob walked in the door of the restaurant that it was him and was exactly as I had imagined. His charming personality and wit you experience online is exactly what you get in person, too. He and I are very similar in that we sometimes like to 'poke the bear' in our posts. lol. It was nice to hear him describe other forum members he has met in person...far more than I have...since he is a long time member. As he said, the time flew by and it was like meeting an old friend and catching up. Wonderful evening. I cannot say how much longer I will actually be in Denver, but if anyone ever passes through please let me know. Would be great to connect with other forum members as well. I probably have a better chance of meeting others once in Cambodia. While Battambang may not be a huge attraction, Siem Reap is only 90 minutes away by motorbike and I also want to explore Phnom Penh once I am in Cambodia. Give a shout out if you are traveling in Cambodia and we can meet there.