Bob

Kind of a blanket condemnation of the transport system in CM because you had to wait 10 minutes once?
 
I will grant it's become difficult to cross over the outer moat roads (we call farther-out roads the ring roads) excepting at the corners, near Thaphae Gate, at the southwest pedestrian overpass, or at the push-button light across from the market by Chang Phuak Gate.  I cross the outer moat roads at least a few times a week at the corners and have no difficulty at all (sometimes I do have to wait 3-4 minutes especially on the north end).  
 
You're lucky to have crossed Rama 4 in Bangkok and lived to tell the story.  I wouldn't have the nerve to try that. 

Come on, Christian, a bit over the top.  I go lots of places via the Songteaws for 30 baht (regardless of distance).  And Grab, although a bit more expensive than when Uber ruled the streets prior to March of this year, is still relatively cheap.  Plus now we have the various inter-city bus lines that are cheap as hell and air-conditioned (although not exactly screaming fast to get where you want to go).  You spend $100 (?) to fly up here, another 700-1000 baht for a hotel,  and then decide not to come because somebody wants ninety cents to a couple of dollars to haul you around?
 
I know we both walk a lot....but to suggest that the situation for pedestrians is worse in CM than Bangkok is simply nuts.  

The RAM (on east end of Soi 6 which runs from Chang Klan to Charoen Prahtet) show starts at 10:00 PM and is worth a look see.  They have a whole new cast of performers who started this past Wednesday.
Also, there's a new place in town (just south of and across the street from the Pantip building......northwest corner of Chang Klan and Sri Don Chai) called 6ixcret which just opened two nights ago.  Same dance troupe (plus a newbe or two) that used to be at RAM and is also definitely worth a look see. The 6ixcret show starts at 9:30 PM. 
If you're into ladyboys with glitzy costumes, you'll like the show (both shows have some very fine looking boys dancers too). 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

Poy Sang Long is a Shan buddhist ceremony with a long tradition and which many of the Shan boys do to make merit for their parents and elders.  Typically it's a 3 or 4 day ceremony and, until the boys are ordained, they're not allowed to touch the ground.  After their heads are shaved, they're dressed up in all kinds of silks and finery as well as facial makeup, all to have them mimic the Buddha himself (before Buddha was an ascetic, he was the son of a king and had all the riches and finery one could imagine).  The most colorful and public portion of the ceremony occurs early in the morning for two days when the boys are paraded around the temple grounds (and sometimes outside the temple) on the shoulders of their male relatives (or, occasionally, on a pony or even a palaquin).
 
The last day is the "ordination" day and the boys are stripped of all their finery, don the saffron robes, and enter the temple as novices.  Most of the boys stay at the temple for 1-3 weeks although a very small minority might actually become formal monks for life.
 
Mae Hong Song supposedly has the largest concentration of Shan here in Thailand and their Poy Sang Long ceremonies are purported to be fairly grandiose; however, here in Chiangmai, there is a sizable Shan population and similar ceremonies are held each year (between the middle of March and April, the precise dates either set by the phase of the moon or by the discretionary choice of the temple elders) at the two local Shan temples, Wat Guu Tao and Wat Pa Pao.  The Poy Sang Long ceremonies at Wat Guu Tao were held this year during the last week of March and about 70 boys were invested as novices.  I'll attempt to attach a few photos of that event.
 

A dozen or so years ago, I was visiting Luang Prabang and sitting in a fancy resort lobby waiting for a ride.  There also was a group of about 30 older people (70+?) in the lobby who began to take a group photo.  As they were struggling to get everyone in the photo without excluding the photo taker, I offered to help them out and take the photos.  They were nice enough about it and subsequently began to talk about why they were there.  Turned out they were Morman missionaries based in Phnom Penh but were just in Luang Prabang for a weekend vacation.
 
While I didn't react to them, I began a slow burn....wondering why the hell the Mormans couldn't find 144,000 "souls" to save in Utah and then leave the Buddhists of Cambodia (or anywhere else) the hell alone.
 
I recognize the concept of freedom of religion (from my point of view, everyone has to right to believe whatever fairy tale they wish), but it simply grates the hell out of me when church groups from the west go seeking to instruct the "natives" anywhere that their fairy tale is the one and only true one. To me, it smacks of cultural colonialism and why nations allow it ("it" not referring to the right to practice any religion you want but referring to allowing foreign missionary groups to actively proselytize in their country) is beyond me.  
 
So, bottom line, interesting architecture or not, I wish they'd stay in Utah. 

A dozen or so years ago, I was visiting Luang Prabang and sitting in a fancy resort lobby waiting for a ride.  There also was a group of about 30 older people (70+?) in the lobby who began to take a group photo.  As they were struggling to get everyone in the photo without excluding the photo taker, I offered to help them out and take the photos.  They were nice enough about it and subsequently began to talk about why they were there.  Turned out they were Morman missionaries based in Phnom Penh but were just in Luang Prabang for a weekend vacation.
 
While I didn't react to them, I began a slow burn....wondering why the hell the Mormans couldn't find 144,000 "souls" to save in Utah and then leave the Buddhists of Cambodia (or anywhere else) the hell alone.
 
I recognize the concept of freedom of religion (from my point of view, everyone has to right to believe whatever fairy tale they wish), but it simply grates the hell out of me when church groups from the west go seeking to instruct the "natives" anywhere that their fairy tale is the one and only true one. To me, it smacks of cultural colonialism and why nations allow it ("it" not referring to the right to practice any religion you want but referring to allowing foreign missionary groups to actively proselytize in their country) is beyond me.  
 
So, bottom line, interesting architecture or not, I wish they'd stay in Utah. 

A dozen or so years ago, I was visiting Luang Prabang and sitting in a fancy resort lobby waiting for a ride.  There also was a group of about 30 older people (70+?) in the lobby who began to take a group photo.  As they were struggling to get everyone in the photo without excluding the photo taker, I offered to help them out and take the photos.  They were nice enough about it and subsequently began to talk about why they were there.  Turned out they were Morman missionaries based in Phnom Penh but were just in Luang Prabang for a weekend vacation.
 
While I didn't react to them, I began a slow burn....wondering why the hell the Mormans couldn't find 144,000 "souls" to save in Utah and then leave the Buddhists of Cambodia (or anywhere else) the hell alone.
 
I recognize the concept of freedom of religion (from my point of view, everyone has to right to believe whatever fairy tale they wish), but it simply grates the hell out of me when church groups from the west go seeking to instruct the "natives" anywhere that their fairy tale is the one and only true one. To me, it smacks of cultural colonialism and why nations allow it ("it" not referring to the right to practice any religion you want but referring to allowing foreign missionary groups to actively proselytize in their country) is beyond me.  
 
So, bottom line, interesting architecture or not, I wish they'd stay in Utah. 

A dozen or so years ago, I was visiting Luang Prabang and sitting in a fancy resort lobby waiting for a ride.  There also was a group of about 30 older people (70+?) in the lobby who began to take a group photo.  As they were struggling to get everyone in the photo without excluding the photo taker, I offered to help them out and take the photos.  They were nice enough about it and subsequently began to talk about why they were there.  Turned out they were Morman missionaries based in Phnom Penh but were just in Luang Prabang for a weekend vacation.
 
While I didn't react to them, I began a slow burn....wondering why the hell the Mormans couldn't find 144,000 "souls" to save in Utah and then leave the Buddhists of Cambodia (or anywhere else) the hell alone.
 
I recognize the concept of freedom of religion (from my point of view, everyone has to right to believe whatever fairy tale they wish), but it simply grates the hell out of me when church groups from the west go seeking to instruct the "natives" anywhere that their fairy tale is the one and only true one. To me, it smacks of cultural colonialism and why nations allow it ("it" not referring to the right to practice any religion you want but referring to allowing foreign missionary groups to actively proselytize in their country) is beyond me.  
 
So, bottom line, interesting architecture or not, I wish they'd stay in Utah. 

A dozen or so years ago, I was visiting Luang Prabang and sitting in a fancy resort lobby waiting for a ride.  There also was a group of about 30 older people (70+?) in the lobby who began to take a group photo.  As they were struggling to get everyone in the photo without excluding the photo taker, I offered to help them out and take the photos.  They were nice enough about it and subsequently began to talk about why they were there.  Turned out they were Morman missionaries based in Phnom Penh but were just in Luang Prabang for a weekend vacation.
 
While I didn't react to them, I began a slow burn....wondering why the hell the Mormans couldn't find 144,000 "souls" to save in Utah and then leave the Buddhists of Cambodia (or anywhere else) the hell alone.
 
I recognize the concept of freedom of religion (from my point of view, everyone has to right to believe whatever fairy tale they wish), but it simply grates the hell out of me when church groups from the west go seeking to instruct the "natives" anywhere that their fairy tale is the one and only true one. To me, it smacks of cultural colonialism and why nations allow it ("it" not referring to the right to practice any religion you want but referring to allowing foreign missionary groups to actively proselytize in their country) is beyond me.  
 
So, bottom line, interesting architecture or not, I wish they'd stay in Utah. 

Glad that you enjoyed our fair city.......... you're welcome back any time. 
 
As a side note, the only mild concern I had reading your report was that you even spent a nanosecond being concerned with what anybody else would think about what you paid the guy.  You paid what you voluntarily wanted to pay and that's the only standard you ever need to meet.  Anybody out there who would even think in the "geez, you're ruining it for the rest of us mode" gets zero respect from me.

Glad that you enjoyed our fair city.......... you're welcome back any time. 
 
As a side note, the only mild concern I had reading your report was that you even spent a nanosecond being concerned with what anybody else would think about what you paid the guy.  You paid what you voluntarily wanted to pay and that's the only standard you ever need to meet.  Anybody out there who would even think in the "geez, you're ruining it for the rest of us mode" gets zero respect from me.

Glad that you enjoyed our fair city.......... you're welcome back any time. 
 
As a side note, the only mild concern I had reading your report was that you even spent a nanosecond being concerned with what anybody else would think about what you paid the guy.  You paid what you voluntarily wanted to pay and that's the only standard you ever need to meet.  Anybody out there who would even think in the "geez, you're ruining it for the rest of us mode" gets zero respect from me.

Glad that you enjoyed our fair city.......... you're welcome back any time. 
 
As a side note, the only mild concern I had reading your report was that you even spent a nanosecond being concerned with what anybody else would think about what you paid the guy.  You paid what you voluntarily wanted to pay and that's the only standard you ever need to meet.  Anybody out there who would even think in the "geez, you're ruining it for the rest of us mode" gets zero respect from me.

Glad that you enjoyed our fair city.......... you're welcome back any time. 
 
As a side note, the only mild concern I had reading your report was that you even spent a nanosecond being concerned with what anybody else would think about what you paid the guy.  You paid what you voluntarily wanted to pay and that's the only standard you ever need to meet.  Anybody out there who would even think in the "geez, you're ruining it for the rest of us mode" gets zero respect from me.

Their stupidity and disrespect hardly merits either any significant punitive measures or two threads on this message board.  The dolts ought to be simply told that they are not the kind of tourists Thailand (or any other country) wants, they have 3 days to leave the country, and they'll be banned from returning for a year.  Maybe they'll learn something....although, given their age, I doubt it. 

Sorry about being candid, Morph, but you sure picked an out-of-the-way place to stay here.  You are going to find it difficult to find songteaws or tuk tuks around that area and you're really not anywhere near where you can walk to any sights; however, I'm hopeful the Uber drivers can find you and get you around.  I suspect that you'll be looking at 100 baht plus going by Uber to anywhere in the center of the city and that price will go up by 50-100% during peak times.  For a new tourist to CM, probably best to stay somewhere in the city center (as one poster suggested, somewhere near the moat and/or Thaphae Gate area).
 
I haven't gone to saunas or massage places for years but, based on friends' comments, Club 17 would be your best option (closest to you and supposedly a lot better and cleaner than House of Male).  I have friends who go there several times every week.
 
For temples, the first one I'd recommend is Wat Phratat Doi Suthep on the mountain west of town….probably the number one tourist attraction here in Chiangmai.  The other two main temples in the old city - Wat Phra Singh and Wat Chedi Luang - are also worth a visit presuming you're interested in seeing those types of things. 
 
Also (random comments):
(1)  Based on your comments about restaurants….and not knowing your food preferences….you might want to try River Market (on Charoen Phratet Road next to the Iron Bridge) as it's a nice location and setting.  Mostly Thai food that's fairly decent.  If you like rice porridge, the Jok Restaurant on the north side of the old city (inside the moat about half way from the northeast corner of the old city and the Chang Phuak Gate) is the place to go.  For kao man gai, there are tons of places but two of the more notable ones are about 250 yards due west of the Three Kings monument.  There are a million restaurants up here and it's really difficult to take a wild guess as what you would prefer.
(2)  Speaking of River Market, you can easily walk (200 yards?) from there to Soi 6, Charoen Prathet, which is the main (just about only) location of the so-called "gay" bars here in town.  On the corner is RAM bar (my favorite due to the great but, I'd note, non-offable staff) and they have a rather professional show every night at 10PM (lately it's been overcrowded and you won't find a seat unless you're there by 9:15-9:30 and you might want to consider going there on a Sunday night when allegedly it's the least crowded).  Secrets Bar is immediately next to RAM bar and there are a couple of other places (Pandee and Orion…and I'm probably forgetting one) further down Soi 6.
(3)  I have no recommendation about elephant joints (it's been 15-17 years since I did that) but would note that on my bucket list (based on what I've heard) is a visit to the elephant sanctuary down near Lampang (about 45 minutes south of where you're staying).  But I can't really say if it's good or bad as I haven't been there.
(4)  If you like ruins, Wiang Kum Kam (the original city Lanna King Mengrai founded about 1290 but abandoned years later due to flooding) is not very far from where you're staying….I'd guess about a mile southwest of your hotel location.
(5)  For "gogo" bars, I suppose the only place to recommend is Adam's Apple.  I haven't been there in a couple of years but by reputation is the busiest place for that type of thing.
 
If you have other specific questions, post them here or send me a PM and I'll try to answer them.  You asked about nationality….I'm from the US….and I'd only note that you and I already have one thing in common (our two countries both currently suffer horrible and embarrassing leadership).