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Tomcal

Do most non blacks avoid Black guys?

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Recently one of our members, SolaceSoulposted this in response to a question regarding why there is not much on the board regarding Salvador and Northern(NE Brazil)?

“Because Salvador and the entire Bahia is predominantly black people. It should be plainly clear by now that many of the posters here aren’t “into” that.

I respectfully disagree, partially with that statement! Here are my thoughts.  The majority of people go to Rio and secondly SP because those are the 2 centers of tourism in Brazil especially Rio! Most people reading the board do not go multiple times of the year or even consecutive years there! So naturally they would not pick Bahia, or Salvador or Fortaleza, etc.  Secondly, personally i don’t know if any poster personally who does not go with Black sauna guys! i go with whoever i think is “Hot” at the sauna!  i think that photo i posted of the 7 friends who were sauna guys at 117, who are at the restaurant shows the rainbow of colors(and for the record i have been with 5 of the 7 more then once!). I know their is bias and prejudice in the gay community but i think it is less in the South of the border group and again partially can be explained by the geography and tourism centers of Brazil.  a friend of mine owns Salvador’s gay sauna and their are some very hot sexy guys there!

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18 minutes ago, Tomcal said:

I know their is bias and prejudice in the gay community but i think it is less in the South of the border group !

I would tend to agree with this.

Speaking as a person of color, there is less a stigma against dark skinned guys south of the border. I would argue that most American Blacks do not consider guys from South America or south of the border to be black at all, though many are of African descent, so that can be argued intellectually, but does not transcend into personal prejudices. I personally have not associated those kinds of prejudices with populations outside of the US. Americans tend to have a more stringent and twisted sense of what is considered black and what is not. In the US, if you have any percentage of black in you, a majority of the population will consider you black. That has been my personal experience.

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Only if getting on an elevator. :D

Strange thread title.

The jury is in. The case is settled. Some non-Black guys like sex with Blacks, while others do not. To each his own. What I find interesting is how many Black guys won't go near a White guy, at least in public sex scenarios. I've seen quite a few White guys get turned away, and some of them were totally hot, while the Black went after another Black. Reminds me of the gay Italians I know. I realize this is a generalization, but it seems to have some truth. Certain people only like to have sex with one of their own. Perhaps it's a tribal thing.

Personally, I can be sexually attracted to lots of differing men. I don't think there's a heritage I haven't tapped yet. Some dark-skinned ethnic guys are amazingly sexy, while others have a sour body odor that leaves my cock flaccid. Perhaps that has something to do with cultural diet. I'm sure White guys can smell sour, too. I just haven't experienced that yet.

From my personal experience, it does seem Black guys are better at servicing my hard-on. Perhaps, something about those lips and that mouth architecture. There's nothing like a great blow job from a guy, when I don't care anything about skin color.

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2 hours ago, Tomcal said:

 personally i don’t know if any poster personally who does not go with Black sauna guys! i go with whoever i think is “Hot” at the sauna!  

What I know about you, Tom, I like a lot, so don’t take this defensively, as many people do when the subject of race is brought up. There’s far too much to unpack in your post so for now, I will just focus on the above part.

Perhaps you overlooked all of the posters who have affirmatively come out and said that they prefer white (or in some cases, coded as “blonde”, “blue eyed”, “European”, “Nordic”, “Germanic”, even “Mediterranean”, and the famous, tired “boy next door” or “All-American” trope). Parisrio was one that comes to mind, but there are others.

And the preference of many posters here for the kinds of guys in places like Porto Alegre (a town in an area with predominantly European looking people) — as well as the countless photos posted of the whiter-featured garotos of Brazil, are even more evidence of this preference. 

Yes, clients and posters focus on what THEY think is “HOT”. The point is that for many, what they think is hot almost excludes men with African / black features (excluding, of course, the stereotypically legendary huge black Mandingo dicks).

Now, I’m not suggesting that it is racist or even bad to prefer a certain type to date or have sex with. Like what you like. Fuck who you want, as long as they are willing and legal. But please, be man enough to own it. Don’t say you like all “hot” guys and then just leave out a huge swath of the black or indigenous (and obviously mixed with black or indigenous) men that make up the vast majority of brasileiros.

 

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1 hour ago, MsAnn said:

I would tend to agree with this.

Speaking as a person of color, there is less a stigma against dark skinned guys south of the border. I would argue that most American Blacks do not consider guys from South America or south of the border to be black at all, though many are of African descent, so that can be argued intellectually, but does not transcend into personal prejudices. I personally have not associated those kinds of prejudices with populations outside of the US. Americans tend to have a more stringent and twisted sense of what is considered black and what is not. In the US, if you have any percentage of black in you, a majority of the population will consider you black. That has been my personal experience.

As an African-American with all of the messy mixed race that comes with being black in America can have, I will respectfully disagree with the bolder part of your statement.  Most black Americans are knowledgeable and accepting of the wide-casting net of the African diaspora that was created by the African slavery trade. Are there a minority of ig pants who aren’t? Sure. However, the overarching dispute usually isn’t that Brazilians, South Americans, Latin Americans or West Indians aren’t black — rather, that their experiences are not the same as black Americans. That’s a different argument, altogether — which can be both right and wrong.

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3 hours ago, MsAnn said:

I would argue that most American Blacks do not consider guys from South America or south of the border to be black at all

Every country in South and Central America as well as the islands was touched by the slave trade in some form or fashion and have deep histories Africa....hence the term Afro Latino or Afro Hispanic...

You can break that down by country based on how somebody looks OR how they choose to identify...

I would suggest when you have time to do a little research...you can even use google and look at how much African influence is in those countries south of the border...

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2 hours ago, RockHardNYC said:

Only if getting on an elevator. :D

Strange thread title.

The jury is in. The case is settled. Some non-Black guys like sex with Blacks, while others do not. To each his own. What I find interesting is how many Black guys won't go near a White guy, at least in public sex scenarios. I've seen quite a few White guys get turned away, and some of them were totally hot, while the Black went after another Black. Reminds me of the gay Italians I know. I realize this is a generalization, but it seems to have some truth. Certain people only like to have sex with one of their own. Perhaps it's a tribal thing.

Personally, I can be sexually attracted to lots of differing men. I don't think there's a heritage I haven't tapped yet. Some dark-skinned ethnic guys are amazingly sexy, while others have a sour body odor that leaves my cock flaccid. Perhaps that has something to do with cultural diet. I'm sure White guys can smell sour, too. I just haven't experienced that yet.

From my personal experience, it does seem Black guys are better at servicing my hard-on. Perhaps, something about those lips and that mouth architecture. There's nothing like a great blow job from a guy, when I don't care anything about skin color.

I will add — though anyone that has followed my posts surely already knew this about me! — that I also unapologetically prefer men of color — especially black (of African descent) and brown (of Latino or Pacific Islander descent) men.  I make no excuses or explanations for what I am physically, sexually and emotionally attracted to, and don’t need to. There are more than enough men of ALL colors all around the world that prefer white men. You oppressed white guys will manage just fine, somehow.

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47 minutes ago, Badboy81 said:

I would suggest when you have time to do a little research...you can even use google and look at how much African influence is in those countries south of the border...

 

You failed to quote the last part of my sentence: " though many are of African descent "

My argument was not that they were not of African descent, but rather that many if not most African Americans in the US do not consider those of African descent south of the border to be Black, "though it is understood intellectually," that does not transcend into personal prejudice.

That has been my family and life's experiences. With due respect, I have traced my family history back two hundred years, I don't think I need Google. I stand by my comments...

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Ayayayay, ir was my question in another thread what triggered Tomcal to start this one. I feel guilty.

I do not think any should get defensive, but from my perspective (I have never been northern of São Paulo) SolaceSouls does have a point. Why would American tourists prefer Porto Alegre over Bahia? Bahia is closer to the States, it has better beaches, it has a more "exotic" culture,  it is probably cheaper, so why?

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1 hour ago, MsAnn said:

 

You failed to quote the last part of my sentence: " though many are of African descent "

My argument was not that they were not of African descent, but rather that many if not most African Americans in the US do not consider those of African descent south of the border to be Black, "though it is understood intellectually," that does not transcend into personal prejudice.

That has been my family and life's experiences. With due respect, I have traced my family history back two hundred years, I don't think I need Google. I stand by my comments...

I understand your response may be based on your age and generation....You tracing your family history has nothing to do with what you stated (although kudos to you for doing that research)

The newer generations....those who are a little more "woke"...the ones that do travel more than our parents and grandparents ever did understand that those of us who speak Spanish or Kreole, or French or Portuguese are just as black, they were just raised in another country, with very similar cultures and foods, etc..but when you look at some of them, they could definitely be a part of your family....or mine....

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1 hour ago, Latbear4blk said:

Ayayayay, ir was my question in another thread what triggered Tomcal to start this one. I feel guilty.

I do not think any should get defensive, but from my perspective (I have never been northern of São Paulo) SolaceSouls does have a point. Why would American tourists prefer Porto Alegre over Bahia? Bahia is closer to the States, it has better beaches, it has a more "exotic" culture,  it is probably cheaper, so why?

My personal experience was that it was welcoming and I had a great time but it didnt have the same vibe as Rio or the diversity in the people and I actually like the beaches in Rio better...

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43 minutes ago, Tomcal said:

 Thanks everyone for your comments! i remember a conversation i had one time when i had a Cuban BF from ‘97 to ‘99, he has been in the Cuban Navy and when the ship docked in Mexico he hopped on a plane to Houston and made it here! He worked as a trainer in Miami and i thought he was beautiful! When he came to LA for his first visit i had a party with about 25 guys to introduce him and one person came up to me and said “why didn’t you say your BF was Black?” I said “I told you he was Cuban!” It never dawned on me i had to define his skin tone! (He was really black like fresh from Nigeria Black) But it never occurred to me to make a point about it..i was very naive 20 years ago about things out of my wheelhouse!

Anyhow, i understand preferences for similiar types person to what we are, i have always liked differences! i grew up in Minnesota where everyone was Blonde,  blue eyed and named Johnson/Anderson or Hanson! :-) and that is not usually what i am attracted to...unless i am in Prague!

Your response to your friend should have been I told you he was Cuban, which he was, what concern is it his color....interesting...I would have had to side eye that person...since there was a clear motive to that question...

I traveled to Nigeria and saw every hue across the board from coffee creamer light to charcoal black...there are tribes in Africa that are very very dark but most Africans run the spectrum thanks to the colonizers....

As Americans, we African American don't define our color to anybody except other black people since most only see black...when you travel to other countries, there is where the defining become finite because people either are very proud of their identity, ie, many Afro Latinos OR in the case of some Brazilians, ashamed of their black blood but because of appearance,cant wish or lie it away...

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28 minutes ago, Badboy81 said:

My personal experience was that it was welcoming and I had a great time but it didnt have the same vibe as Rio or the diversity in the people and I actually like the beaches in Rio better...

I can understand Americans and any one else love more Rio over Bahia. I was not making that comparison, please reread my post.

I do not understand how anyone can prefer Porto Alegre and Rio Grande so Sul (an area I have been to) over Salvador and Bahia (an area I have heard of). The only explanation that makes sense so far (may be someone else can have a different theory) is the one brought by @SolaceSoul

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1 hour ago, Tomcal said:

When he came to LA for his first visit i had a party with about 25 guys to introduce him and one person came up to me and said “why didn’t you say your BF was Black?” I said “I told you he was Cuban!” It never dawned on me i had to define his skin tone!

You have to define things to the ignorant, otherwise how do you expect them to learn? (I have to say, when I lived in L.A., I never met so many ignorant gay guys before. I found that very depressing, and couldn't wait to move back to NYC.)

Many in my own family, those precious cousins who are as White as snow, do not travel. They never leave their own state. Anyone to them who even remotely looks caramel is Black. They are just that slow and have no interest in knowing more. So many people live in their own bubble, and the walls around that bubble can be pretty thick.

2 hours ago, SolaceSoul said:

I also unapologetically prefer men of color — especially black (of African descent) and brown (of Latino or Pacific Islander descent) men.  I make no excuses or explanations for what I am physically, sexually and emotionally attracted to, and don’t need to.

I appreciate your truth. Some people get so bent out of shape whenever the subject, no matter the context, is centered around race and skin color. I'm always fascinated by what turns another guy on, but I'm rarely surprised by it. I know from my own cock, he's stubborn and determined when nudged in the wrong direction.

I'm not a sexual aggressor. Whenever public sex occurs, I almost never make the first move. I like to observe. I like watching men cruise and then act on their lust. I look to see who has the desire to approach me. If no one does, no biggy. Tomorrow at the gym is another day.

I've said this before and I'll say it again here: I like watching straight porn. But in order for my cock to get hard, the girl needs to be light skinned and shaved. With gay porn, I don't care much about skin tone and hair. If I'm in the mood for ethnic sex, all colors work for me, especially if the models enjoy eating ass.

It is a funny thing how the mind works. Keeping it open can be more fun.

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Your statement could not be more wrong. I travel to Salvador 3 times a year. As Anthony Bourdain said, "if Rio is the heart of Brazil than Salvador is its soul". It has in the last year become less safe to go out at night and travel by yourself.

I have been living in Brazil for a few weeks a month for 8 years. I am as Eastern European as you can be but my preference has always been black men. It is much easier to meet a black hunk top man in Rio than in Salvador.

My suggestion is to go to Rio if you like black men and travel to Salvador for the food.

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2 hours ago, Badboy81 said:

I understand your response may be based on your age and generation....You tracing your family history has nothing to do with what you stated (although kudos to you for doing that research)

The newer generations....those who are a little more "woke"...the ones that do travel more than our parents and grandparents ever did understand that those of us who speak Spanish or Kreole, or French or Portuguese are just as black, they were just raised in another country, with very similar cultures and foods, etc..but when you look at some of them, they could definitely be a part of your family....or mine....

No one is arguing your point, I was making another observation altogether, but your added sarcasm is now duly noted..Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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I have never had a white boyfriend as an adult for much longer than one year. When I was a kid, my BF's were mostly white as I was in he deep south and that is all I could find. When I got older, I always preferred darker skin.

For those that lasted longer than one year, all have been dark skin and many black with the exception on one really white Frenchman.

When I was in both Rio and Sao Paulo, I loved darker skinned guys.  In Salvador, I liked dark skin and black as can be. When in Porto, I like white guys with a hit of tan skin. When in Thailand, I prefer the ones that are more Southern Thai and darker skin to those with Chinese decent and lighter skin. When in Prague, I love those blond boys. When in Dubai, I love Arab men.

But, in no place do I think that someone is not attractive based on skin color. I like all of God's creatures and in every shade. I also hate people telling me they don't want to visit Thailand because they don't like Asians. Until you try it, don't know it. Likewise, don't tell me you can't visit Mexico because you don't like sex with Mexicans. Unless you have tried it at least 20 times and it never worked for you, keep trying diversity. It adds to your life and to the number of potential partners.

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Race and sexual attraction is so weird, I did not know how 'black' i was until i moved to the US. In all my travels down south I have noticed that it is rather my age which tends to be the problem (being young) and not my skin colour. I remember chatting with a guy on Grindr in Panama city and i brought up the fact that i was black, he was so offended that i had projected what he described as a "US problem" on him, but from my experience i had no option but to make it a point that he knew I was black. People see me as a Briton because of my accent but i have to always (without fail) tell them that I prefer to be referred to as Ghanaian. I have never really understood the need to base attraction on the color of one's skin but as i have learned pretty quickly 'to each his own'.

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The article proves racism in it's title and throughout. 

The real racism in the gay community is against indigenous and Asian peoples. So much so that we don't talk about it, it's a given. A lot of escorts refuse to go with Asians. And who hires indigenous guys?

Blacks are doing fine. Even if they have to guilt trip someone into a blowjob. 

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4 hours ago, Badboy81 said:

Your response to your friend should have been I told you he was Cuban, which he was, what concern is it his color....interesting...I would have had to side eye that person

Badboy remember this was 20 years ago!  My response would have been different today,  one thing that no ones says about me is that I am shy or afraid to voice my opinions, but I am judicious enough not to make a scene at a party, but rather wait for a one on one conversation at some point!  Also I have learned that you are not going to change a ignoramus's opinion, and it's not worth my time!

 

 

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35 minutes ago, tassojunior said:

The article proves racism in it's title and throughout. 

The real racism in the gay community is against indigenous and Asian peoples. So much so that we don't talk about it, it's a given. A lot of escorts refuse to go with Asians. And who hires indigenous guys?

Blacks are doing fine. Even if they have to guilt trip someone into a blowjob. 

(1) Racism isn’t a zero-sum game, where only one marginalized group gets shorted while every other one wins a medal. It’s quite perplexing that this is how you view it works.

(2) Racism isn’t measured by who wants to fuck someone or give them a blowjob. Plenty of racists during the slavery and the Jim Crow periods in the American South sought sexual pleasure from black people. And to this day, some people, gay or straight, with overt or covert racist attitudes and beliefs will have sex with and even partner up with a person of another race. I know of several white gay guys who sleep with and date black, brown or Asian men and are racist fuckheads.

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