Olddaddy

I wonder how many you came out to your parents? Or brothers & sisters?
Did any of you,? Was you then shunned back in those times?
My late father was a wharf worker,I doubt I would be alive if I had told him.
Unfortunately my brothers & sisters found out I was gay in January 2015 when I took my ex BF to my mum's funeral,they have never been in contact since .
I always remember when I was young my older brother coming home after a weekend (1970's) saying he had gone "poofter bashing" with his mates , terrible times for acceptance back then,even police participated in this in those days.
At least most of the Asian countries are more accepting if our lifestyle,if not the younger generation are.

Your post has awakened some memories for me, not all of them pleasant. The steps I took to hide my feelings (not my actions, I hasten to add) embarrass me in recollection.
At the same time, I was aware of two associates at work who, I believed at the time, were harbouring similar secrets. They both married and had children.
I thank God for Pattaya every day of my life. To sit in Panorama of an evening a, surrounded by like-minded guys, and watch the go go dancers joking and making eyes at us on their way to work, with an evening of fun ahead...if I could choose  where to spend eternity, it would be there. 
Younger posters may find it hard to comprehend just how liberating Pattaya was to my generation, who had spent some of the best years of our lives in the closet.

Without being too specific, let's just say it was in the management of the arts, entertainment and related businesses. I think reading my posts some will certainly have guessed it was something like that. And knowing this, you can understand why I can never not work in some way or another. I was so fortunate in that my work was essentially my passion. As for all my travel, hardly a trip went by without my attending one or more operas, plays, musicals etc. In fact, I once flew from Bangkok to Chicago just to see an opera. Another time it was to Dresden.
Now I am quite heavily involved in writing with a first book published in March and a second one about to go to the printers.

he did his duty and decided to have some  well deserved fun. I doubt his late wife minds

I did not know people live that long !
On serious note , 67 is not old, it's when life begins as long as health serves us well. Most duties and chores are gone and done , we may have some usable resources and pension is deposited regularly, it's time to enjoy what we have left. And yes, to plan that next Thai trip

Fantastic advice ,hope you don't mind I will screenshot this and keep it👍thankyou ,

I'm always one who believes in "moving on" and accepting change 
I'm 62 so I like to embrace change 
I always say that to my same  age  work colleagues especially when they are  critical of newer much younger work colleagues who may seem things differently, I like to be the one to accept change 
I never want to be one that "well when I was a boy.....
But strangely when I was in Pattaya last month, I sat in Boyztown, and  reminiscenced about what was ,what used to be 
I sat there at a table with a few beers  at the and the bar next to it  and I actually spoke to the mamasan? manager ( I don't think they are called mamasans nowadays?) there who sadly,sadly had absolutely no idea of the Dolly sisters or never ( I won't mention names) of the previous farang owners , he even called over other boys who also had no idea .
Look I know times move on  ,they aren't expected to know ,it's in the past ,it was me of course wanting it to be like old times thinking of the funny farang owners that used to run it ,the infamous Dolly sisters etc 
It's got me thinking that times are soon forgotten, younger people move in, they have no idea what the times nor the people that it used to have .
I sat there drinking by myself with the Thai manager of the bar sitting next to me as I'm mumbling " street talk used to be over there " him nodding at me looking at me weirdly" they used to sell wonderful pastrami sandwiches😳😳
Another 2 boys  sitting nearby both live on their  tiktok said in great English " how long ago was that ?
" Oh about 20 years ago " I said 
Then they both laughed , 20 year ago I five said one all laughing.
They must of thought I was a reminiscent old man👴👴
Of course times have moved on,even at the bar we were sitting at had memories but the guys had no idea who the previous owners nor the good times that went on there ,I looked back into the bar from my outside table , the memories of the Dolly sisters etc , of course the guys had no idea about all that , as they dance live on their tiktok and Facebook to their friends   , 
The manager looked at me looking back into the bar " you want another drink ? He asked 
" No no , I said ,just thinking about the past , all the Dolly's , obviously looking at me like I was a old nutter and the silly thing is I was rambling on like a old drunk after 5 beers and I remember telling them about the mamasan at Cityboys go go bringing his cat to work.
The Thai manager guy sitting next to me good English "and the cat was Dolly?
" No no Dolly sisters were here I said pointing in the bar 
All 3 guys looking at me weirdly " the cat and sisters he brought here?then they all laughing thinking drink as a skunk 🥳🥳
 😂
And strangely  or ironically I just read the obituary in the Pattaya mail of the latest Dolly sister to depart which brought back more memories.
It's sad in a way ,but things can't stay the same ,but even sadder that people & times are forgotten.
Here I am sitting in a bar that 15  years ago was pumping and the owners famous , fast forward and the guys in Boyztown have no idea what I was on about .😳
Probably thought I was some nutter talking about his  dolly cat and streettalk 😂
I was very fond of the Dolly sisters though , I used to love the Boyztown area back then.
I used to remember all the famous/ infamous bar owners , all the good ones & bad ones 😂
Nowadays there's none of that ,no one to even mention really ,no bar owners stand out anymore ,no infamous or famous ones!
But how fast has life gone by with all these passing, it makes you appreciate your every day more, I often think I'm 62 I have probably 15 to 20 years left, I have to enjoy it
Oh well, forgive me I'm getting old ,past is over I know 
I know what you all thinking and want to say to me 😂
"Oh shut up you rambling old fool 🤣🤣
 
 
 

Very interesting!
I met a guy (straight) in Pattaya last month ,66yo and newly retired to Pattaya last month .
He looked at what life he had left in weeks,seemed to be "obsessive" about living each day as you can,of course it's great if you have the fitness and energy! Said he was aiming for 1040 week goal .
Life goes fast,it really does , and I often wonder when I see work colleagues who are in their 70's why they are still working full time and wasting time?🙄
I bumped into a work colleague a few months ago who was 77 and still working,his wife was from Vietnam and the thing that struck me was he said to me with a smile ,"I will be retiring in a few years and going to live in Vietnam,we have a nice bungalow in a island over there"
I looked at him stunned, how long does he think he has got in life, I honestly felt like saying to him why not go now,how long do you think you have left at 77? ?😳

Fantastic advice ,hope you don't mind I will screenshot this and keep it👍thankyou ,

It's hardly a secret that the majority of posters here are in the 50+ age group so it's understandable that issues about aging frequently come up. It becomes a time in our lives when we realize when we tend to look back with both fondness and regret. That's perfectly normal. But if we find ourselves dwelling too much on the rear view mirror, we risk allowing it to inhibit our future. At least that's the case for me. From time to time I enjoy reminiscing about earlier days  but I'm also keenly aware that I'm increasingly focused on whatever years I have remaining.
Vinapu offers sage advice when he encourages us to start planning our next trip. It's not a magic elixir but there are probably few better antidotes to the blues.
Growing old and gay presents is own special breed of challenges. As some have written about on these pages, we tend to have few--if any--family members we're comfortable discussing our sexuality with. As much as we'd like to talk about our trips to Thailand, we usually keep it to ourselves or restrict it to forums like this. Yes, it can be quite lonely at times.
Posters have described the pain complete strangers have caused them when they're in the company of young men. This also has the potential to inhibit the way we lead our lives. One close friend gave me this advice when I come across someone like that: "See them for what they are in our life: trash. Visualize tossing them in a bag and disposing them along with the rubbish and forget them. They're not worth another second's thought."
Regardless of our age, we have enough other issues that we can't avoid, health and finances among them. We deal with them as best we can but we don't have to allow the stares and remarks of bigots stand in our way of happiness.

I'm always one who believes in "moving on" and accepting change 
I'm 62 so I like to embrace change 
I always say that to my same  age  work colleagues especially when they are  critical of newer much younger work colleagues who may seem things differently, I like to be the one to accept change 
I never want to be one that "well when I was a boy.....
But strangely when I was in Pattaya last month, I sat in Boyztown, and  reminiscenced about what was ,what used to be 
I sat there at a table with a few beers  at the and the bar next to it  and I actually spoke to the mamasan? manager ( I don't think they are called mamasans nowadays?) there who sadly,sadly had absolutely no idea of the Dolly sisters or never ( I won't mention names) of the previous farang owners , he even called over other boys who also had no idea .
Look I know times move on  ,they aren't expected to know ,it's in the past ,it was me of course wanting it to be like old times thinking of the funny farang owners that used to run it ,the infamous Dolly sisters etc 
It's got me thinking that times are soon forgotten, younger people move in, they have no idea what the times nor the people that it used to have .
I sat there drinking by myself with the Thai manager of the bar sitting next to me as I'm mumbling " street talk used to be over there " him nodding at me looking at me weirdly" they used to sell wonderful pastrami sandwiches😳😳
Another 2 boys  sitting nearby both live on their  tiktok said in great English " how long ago was that ?
" Oh about 20 years ago " I said 
Then they both laughed , 20 year ago I five said one all laughing.
They must of thought I was a reminiscent old man👴👴
Of course times have moved on,even at the bar we were sitting at had memories but the guys had no idea who the previous owners nor the good times that went on there ,I looked back into the bar from my outside table , the memories of the Dolly sisters etc , of course the guys had no idea about all that , as they dance live on their tiktok and Facebook to their friends   , 
The manager looked at me looking back into the bar " you want another drink ? He asked 
" No no , I said ,just thinking about the past , all the Dolly's , obviously looking at me like I was a old nutter and the silly thing is I was rambling on like a old drunk after 5 beers and I remember telling them about the mamasan at Cityboys go go bringing his cat to work.
The Thai manager guy sitting next to me good English "and the cat was Dolly?
" No no Dolly sisters were here I said pointing in the bar 
All 3 guys looking at me weirdly " the cat and sisters he brought here?then they all laughing thinking drink as a skunk 🥳🥳
 😂
And strangely  or ironically I just read the obituary in the Pattaya mail of the latest Dolly sister to depart which brought back more memories.
It's sad in a way ,but things can't stay the same ,but even sadder that people & times are forgotten.
Here I am sitting in a bar that 15  years ago was pumping and the owners famous , fast forward and the guys in Boyztown have no idea what I was on about .😳
Probably thought I was some nutter talking about his  dolly cat and streettalk 😂
I was very fond of the Dolly sisters though , I used to love the Boyztown area back then.
I used to remember all the famous/ infamous bar owners , all the good ones & bad ones 😂
Nowadays there's none of that ,no one to even mention really ,no bar owners stand out anymore ,no infamous or famous ones!
But how fast has life gone by with all these passing, it makes you appreciate your every day more, I often think I'm 62 I have probably 15 to 20 years left, I have to enjoy it
Oh well, forgive me I'm getting old ,past is over I know 
I know what you all thinking and want to say to me 😂
"Oh shut up you rambling old fool 🤣🤣
 
 
 

Olddaddy is correct; sadly. An old friend  died recently; I was the only person in the world who knew he was gay, apart from a few mbs I persuaded him to meet on trips To Thailand with me. 
When I was at his funeral, I looked around at the mourners, family and friends,  and realised that I was the only person at that grave-side who "knew" him, including two brothers, one of whom was a twin. It was a feeling both disconcerting and depressing. 

Times will always change whether we like it or not, sadly. Switching to Bangkok, I always thought the best gogo bar was Barbiery directly across Suriwong from Soi Twilight. It started up in the mid-1980s and was always packed - mostly with Thais - at the weekends. It must have had around 100 boys working there, all seemingly enjoying themselves, and great shows which again those taking part seemed to thoroughly enjoy. Indeed, there was a sense that everyone was having fun in so many of the bars in "those days". For whatever reason, Barbiery changed location to a modern building opposite Nature Boys around 2000. Compared to its earlier incarnation, it was a disaster and died less than 2 years later. So sad!    
Even earlier, I have written before of my first favourite bar being Apollo which i discovered in early 1980. It was located on the right side at the end of Silom Soi 4 (above where Sphinx restaurant was later to appear). As was to happen when the original Twilight moved to its location at the end of Soi Twilight, at around 9:30 pm the boys would all take off their underwear and dance naked for the rest of the evening.
For those interested, there is a fascinating thread of the early years of Soi Twilight over on sawatdee. It's a long thread but a great read.
https://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showthread.php?21487-History-of-Soi-Twilight
I'm factionally older and I still work, but I work for myself and I am fortunate that I have no set hours and no set schedule. I have had a great career which for the most part I really loved. I enjoy keeping in touch and working occasionally even though retired. I would find life quite boring without that.

Old age has its blessings...possibly...but one problem in store for you youngsters, if you stay healthy, is to see your friends and family die before you. Make the most of these relationships while you can. 

I'm always one who believes in "moving on" and accepting change 
I'm 62 so I like to embrace change 
I always say that to my same  age  work colleagues especially when they are  critical of newer much younger work colleagues who may seem things differently, I like to be the one to accept change 
I never want to be one that "well when I was a boy.....
But strangely when I was in Pattaya last month, I sat in Boyztown, and  reminiscenced about what was ,what used to be 
I sat there at a table with a few beers  at the and the bar next to it  and I actually spoke to the mamasan? manager ( I don't think they are called mamasans nowadays?) there who sadly,sadly had absolutely no idea of the Dolly sisters or never ( I won't mention names) of the previous farang owners , he even called over other boys who also had no idea .
Look I know times move on  ,they aren't expected to know ,it's in the past ,it was me of course wanting it to be like old times thinking of the funny farang owners that used to run it ,the infamous Dolly sisters etc 
It's got me thinking that times are soon forgotten, younger people move in, they have no idea what the times nor the people that it used to have .
I sat there drinking by myself with the Thai manager of the bar sitting next to me as I'm mumbling " street talk used to be over there " him nodding at me looking at me weirdly" they used to sell wonderful pastrami sandwiches😳😳
Another 2 boys  sitting nearby both live on their  tiktok said in great English " how long ago was that ?
" Oh about 20 years ago " I said 
Then they both laughed , 20 year ago I five said one all laughing.
They must of thought I was a reminiscent old man👴👴
Of course times have moved on,even at the bar we were sitting at had memories but the guys had no idea who the previous owners nor the good times that went on there ,I looked back into the bar from my outside table , the memories of the Dolly sisters etc , of course the guys had no idea about all that , as they dance live on their tiktok and Facebook to their friends   , 
The manager looked at me looking back into the bar " you want another drink ? He asked 
" No no , I said ,just thinking about the past , all the Dolly's , obviously looking at me like I was a old nutter and the silly thing is I was rambling on like a old drunk after 5 beers and I remember telling them about the mamasan at Cityboys go go bringing his cat to work.
The Thai manager guy sitting next to me good English "and the cat was Dolly?
" No no Dolly sisters were here I said pointing in the bar 
All 3 guys looking at me weirdly " the cat and sisters he brought here?then they all laughing thinking drink as a skunk 🥳🥳
 😂
And strangely  or ironically I just read the obituary in the Pattaya mail of the latest Dolly sister to depart which brought back more memories.
It's sad in a way ,but things can't stay the same ,but even sadder that people & times are forgotten.
Here I am sitting in a bar that 15  years ago was pumping and the owners famous , fast forward and the guys in Boyztown have no idea what I was on about .😳
Probably thought I was some nutter talking about his  dolly cat and streettalk 😂
I was very fond of the Dolly sisters though , I used to love the Boyztown area back then.
I used to remember all the famous/ infamous bar owners , all the good ones & bad ones 😂
Nowadays there's none of that ,no one to even mention really ,no bar owners stand out anymore ,no infamous or famous ones!
But how fast has life gone by with all these passing, it makes you appreciate your every day more, I often think I'm 62 I have probably 15 to 20 years left, I have to enjoy it
Oh well, forgive me I'm getting old ,past is over I know 
I know what you all thinking and want to say to me 😂
"Oh shut up you rambling old fool 🤣🤣
 
 
 

I'm always one who believes in "moving on" and accepting change 
I'm 62 so I like to embrace change 
I always say that to my same  age  work colleagues especially when they are  critical of newer much younger work colleagues who may seem things differently, I like to be the one to accept change 
I never want to be one that "well when I was a boy.....
But strangely when I was in Pattaya last month, I sat in Boyztown, and  reminiscenced about what was ,what used to be 
I sat there at a table with a few beers  at the and the bar next to it  and I actually spoke to the mamasan? manager ( I don't think they are called mamasans nowadays?) there who sadly,sadly had absolutely no idea of the Dolly sisters or never ( I won't mention names) of the previous farang owners , he even called over other boys who also had no idea .
Look I know times move on  ,they aren't expected to know ,it's in the past ,it was me of course wanting it to be like old times thinking of the funny farang owners that used to run it ,the infamous Dolly sisters etc 
It's got me thinking that times are soon forgotten, younger people move in, they have no idea what the times nor the people that it used to have .
I sat there drinking by myself with the Thai manager of the bar sitting next to me as I'm mumbling " street talk used to be over there " him nodding at me looking at me weirdly" they used to sell wonderful pastrami sandwiches😳😳
Another 2 boys  sitting nearby both live on their  tiktok said in great English " how long ago was that ?
" Oh about 20 years ago " I said 
Then they both laughed , 20 year ago I five said one all laughing.
They must of thought I was a reminiscent old man👴👴
Of course times have moved on,even at the bar we were sitting at had memories but the guys had no idea who the previous owners nor the good times that went on there ,I looked back into the bar from my outside table , the memories of the Dolly sisters etc , of course the guys had no idea about all that , as they dance live on their tiktok and Facebook to their friends   , 
The manager looked at me looking back into the bar " you want another drink ? He asked 
" No no , I said ,just thinking about the past , all the Dolly's , obviously looking at me like I was a old nutter and the silly thing is I was rambling on like a old drunk after 5 beers and I remember telling them about the mamasan at Cityboys go go bringing his cat to work.
The Thai manager guy sitting next to me good English "and the cat was Dolly?
" No no Dolly sisters were here I said pointing in the bar 
All 3 guys looking at me weirdly " the cat and sisters he brought here?then they all laughing thinking drink as a skunk 🥳🥳
 😂
And strangely  or ironically I just read the obituary in the Pattaya mail of the latest Dolly sister to depart which brought back more memories.
It's sad in a way ,but things can't stay the same ,but even sadder that people & times are forgotten.
Here I am sitting in a bar that 15  years ago was pumping and the owners famous , fast forward and the guys in Boyztown have no idea what I was on about .😳
Probably thought I was some nutter talking about his  dolly cat and streettalk 😂
I was very fond of the Dolly sisters though , I used to love the Boyztown area back then.
I used to remember all the famous/ infamous bar owners , all the good ones & bad ones 😂
Nowadays there's none of that ,no one to even mention really ,no bar owners stand out anymore ,no infamous or famous ones!
But how fast has life gone by with all these passing, it makes you appreciate your every day more, I often think I'm 62 I have probably 15 to 20 years left, I have to enjoy it
Oh well, forgive me I'm getting old ,past is over I know 
I know what you all thinking and want to say to me 😂
"Oh shut up you rambling old fool 🤣🤣
 
 
 

I retired at 66, moved to Florida (USA) ... and have been working part-time 2x weekly for six years now.  Seniors in the USA are working longer, oftentimes part-time. My behavior is to mind my own business and not expect others to live a life I choose to live.  I don't consider my lifestyle a waste of time.

Very interesting!
I met a guy (straight) in Pattaya last month ,66yo and newly retired to Pattaya last month .
He looked at what life he had left in weeks,seemed to be "obsessive" about living each day as you can,of course it's great if you have the fitness and energy! Said he was aiming for 1040 week goal .
Life goes fast,it really does , and I often wonder when I see work colleagues who are in their 70's why they are still working full time and wasting time?🙄
I bumped into a work colleague a few months ago who was 77 and still working,his wife was from Vietnam and the thing that struck me was he said to me with a smile ,"I will be retiring in a few years and going to live in Vietnam,we have a nice bungalow in a island over there"
I looked at him stunned, how long does he think he has got in life, I honestly felt like saying to him why not go now,how long do you think you have left at 77? ?😳

And to that I repeat an earlier suggestion of yours"
 

"Prep is not at all a good treatment option for anybody HIV-infected whether they are aware of having HIV or not."
I was quite surprised when the Doctor mentioned anyone HIV positive &  taking HIV medication cannot spread HIV ,I had no idea of  that .
 
 

After reading this thread YT served up this video to me. About Bangkok, not Pattaya, but the sentiment is similar
 

I'm always one who believes in "moving on" and accepting change 
I'm 62 so I like to embrace change 
I always say that to my same  age  work colleagues especially when they are  critical of newer much younger work colleagues who may seem things differently, I like to be the one to accept change 
I never want to be one that "well when I was a boy.....
But strangely when I was in Pattaya last month, I sat in Boyztown, and  reminiscenced about what was ,what used to be 
I sat there at a table with a few beers  at the and the bar next to it  and I actually spoke to the mamasan? manager ( I don't think they are called mamasans nowadays?) there who sadly,sadly had absolutely no idea of the Dolly sisters or never ( I won't mention names) of the previous farang owners , he even called over other boys who also had no idea .
Look I know times move on  ,they aren't expected to know ,it's in the past ,it was me of course wanting it to be like old times thinking of the funny farang owners that used to run it ,the infamous Dolly sisters etc 
It's got me thinking that times are soon forgotten, younger people move in, they have no idea what the times nor the people that it used to have .
I sat there drinking by myself with the Thai manager of the bar sitting next to me as I'm mumbling " street talk used to be over there " him nodding at me looking at me weirdly" they used to sell wonderful pastrami sandwiches😳😳
Another 2 boys  sitting nearby both live on their  tiktok said in great English " how long ago was that ?
" Oh about 20 years ago " I said 
Then they both laughed , 20 year ago I five said one all laughing.
They must of thought I was a reminiscent old man👴👴
Of course times have moved on,even at the bar we were sitting at had memories but the guys had no idea who the previous owners nor the good times that went on there ,I looked back into the bar from my outside table , the memories of the Dolly sisters etc , of course the guys had no idea about all that , as they dance live on their tiktok and Facebook to their friends   , 
The manager looked at me looking back into the bar " you want another drink ? He asked 
" No no , I said ,just thinking about the past , all the Dolly's , obviously looking at me like I was a old nutter and the silly thing is I was rambling on like a old drunk after 5 beers and I remember telling them about the mamasan at Cityboys go go bringing his cat to work.
The Thai manager guy sitting next to me good English "and the cat was Dolly?
" No no Dolly sisters were here I said pointing in the bar 
All 3 guys looking at me weirdly " the cat and sisters he brought here?then they all laughing thinking drink as a skunk 🥳🥳
 😂
And strangely  or ironically I just read the obituary in the Pattaya mail of the latest Dolly sister to depart which brought back more memories.
It's sad in a way ,but things can't stay the same ,but even sadder that people & times are forgotten.
Here I am sitting in a bar that 15  years ago was pumping and the owners famous , fast forward and the guys in Boyztown have no idea what I was on about .😳
Probably thought I was some nutter talking about his  dolly cat and streettalk 😂
I was very fond of the Dolly sisters though , I used to love the Boyztown area back then.
I used to remember all the famous/ infamous bar owners , all the good ones & bad ones 😂
Nowadays there's none of that ,no one to even mention really ,no bar owners stand out anymore ,no infamous or famous ones!
But how fast has life gone by with all these passing, it makes you appreciate your every day more, I often think I'm 62 I have probably 15 to 20 years left, I have to enjoy it
Oh well, forgive me I'm getting old ,past is over I know 
I know what you all thinking and want to say to me 😂
"Oh shut up you rambling old fool 🤣🤣
 
 
 

index is more about every day living criteria than vacation or weekend type fireworks, it's why most of cities listed are on the boring side and of modest size.
It's little consolation having British Museum in the doorsteps  for somebody who commutes 1.5 hrs one way  to work or school every day 
Harare has the best weather of those listed, raise your hand who wants to move there

relax , is not that bad.
Good cure helping us to return  to reality is to meet somebody from those ''good old days'. When we see that person is no longer attractive and funny as we recall then  it may down on us that those  gone days weren't that fabulous and time helps  us to tint the past  with a bit of rose color.
Don't forget that 20 years ago we were looking at the world with different eyes and mind frame than now. Old problems look trivial and no we are dealing with new ones we did not even expect they emerge.
Best cure for nostalgia is to start planning and thinking about next trip. To stop in BKK or go straight to Pattaya? Where to stay, city or Jomtien and so on . Soon Dolly sisters will be forgotten because of real issue at hand: how to get stack of 20 baht notes for your first foray to Nice Boys

Want to be more sad, look at this page and then the "Life of a typical American" chart.....

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html

or for your own visualization of your life in blocks lived and blocks remaining

https://engaging-data.com/age-calculator/