kris123ca Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Hi all, visitor here posting nervously, and hoping for your advice. I'm a pretty closeted, 30 year old guy, have had very few / hesitant relations 1:1 with other guys, and I want to do something about this before I turn in to "who's that gross old guy trolling around here?" (lots of personal issues, I know). I live in California. I am moderately attractive, go to gym, so I'm not lacking in physical appearance or hideous or something. I'm not jacked, but tall, lightly muscular, and my friends note that "you're in good shape". My problem: I'm continuing to be closeted (hard to fix this one), but I'm quite attracted to my straight guy friends, and if I don't do something about this, I'm gonna do something stupid and hit on one of them. What I would like (almost need) as an experience to get me out of this problem, and here is where I'd like help to figure out what to do / where to find it: I want to meet a muscular guy for maybe 1-2 hours, not for sex, but for touching, feeling, intimacy without sex. Shorts could stay on the whole time. Looking for someone who is not roided up, hairy, etc. but looks good, goes to gym often, has relatively nice face. Have a bedroom kind of situation where I can playfully (and hopefully talking to the guy in a friendly warm way) touch his body, feel his muscles, have him flex for me If things progress and he's open to it, I'd like to hug him closely, feel his body next to mine, have our cheeks touch, ears/necks/cheeks against each other (probably no kissing, I worry about STDs) If things progress further and he's open to it, have him straddle me / act like he's going to top me for sex (but shorts on, no sex) and have me feel his body as he does the motions like he's having sex. possibly shower together, before or after. Shorts stay on, or can come off is he's comfortable. I'm not quite sure about this one myself (kind of embarrassed about being totally naked in front of a guy). Help me tell what I'm looking for? Where do you find this? In a club, through an app? Do you have to travel overseas to do this without embarrassment? Can I find this in California or do I have to go to Thailand? I'm worried about what that looks like reputation wise, but at this point I'm open to it. I've travelled to Asia before, no problems, could easily go to any country there. I don't want to stew in my own desires and have no way to experience this and get tempted to let it out on my friends inappropriately. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinapu Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Thailand is your destination. Far enough to ensure discretion an has all resources you are looking for at disposal for relatively small consideration. As for being shy, guys in business here saw it all and three times as much so you can relax. There s nothing in the handbook that you can t stay in shorts for a while. I had money boys hired who tried the same, not with much success I haste to add. dscrtsldnbi and Olddaddy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members scott456 Posted January 8 Members Share Posted January 8 6 hours ago, kris123ca said: Hi all, visitor here posting nervously, and hoping for your advice. I'm a pretty closeted, 30 year old guy, have had very few / hesitant relations 1:1 with other guys, and I want to do something about this before I turn in to "who's that gross old guy trolling around here?" (lots of personal issues, I know). I live in California. I am moderately attractive, go to gym, so I'm not lacking in physical appearance or hideous or something. I'm not jacked, but tall, lightly muscular, and my friends note that "you're in good shape". My problem: I'm continuing to be closeted (hard to fix this one), but I'm quite attracted to my straight guy friends, and if I don't do something about this, I'm gonna do something stupid and hit on one of them. What I would like (almost need) as an experience to get me out of this problem, and here is where I'd like help to figure out what to do / where to find it: I want to meet a muscular guy for maybe 1-2 hours, not for sex, but for touching, feeling, intimacy without sex. Shorts could stay on the whole time. Looking for someone who is not roided up, hairy, etc. but looks good, goes to gym often, has relatively nice face. Have a bedroom kind of situation where I can playfully (and hopefully talking to the guy in a friendly warm way) touch his body, feel his muscles, have him flex for me If things progress and he's open to it, I'd like to hug him closely, feel his body next to mine, have our cheeks touch, ears/necks/cheeks against each other (probably no kissing, I worry about STDs) If things progress further and he's open to it, have him straddle me / act like he's going to top me for sex (but shorts on, no sex) and have me feel his body as he does the motions like he's having sex. possibly shower together, before or after. Shorts stay on, or can come off is he's comfortable. I'm not quite sure about this one myself (kind of embarrassed about being totally naked in front of a guy). Help me tell what I'm looking for? Where do you find this? In a club, through an app? Do you have to travel overseas to do this without embarrassment? Can I find this in California or do I have to go to Thailand? I'm worried about what that looks like reputation wise, but at this point I'm open to it. I've travelled to Asia before, no problems, could easily go to any country there. I don't want to stew in my own desires and have no way to experience this and get tempted to let it out on my friends inappropriately. Thanks. I don't see why you need to be totally anonymous unless you are from a celebrity or politician family. I mean your social circle would have no overlap with any escort circle, so the chance of your friends and families finding out your "side hobbies" is zero. But if you indeed are from a celebrity family and there are people who watch your life closely, your best bet is to go overseas (Brazil/Spain for western muscles, Thailand for Asian muscles). Otherwise, there are male escorts in the U.S. at a higher price range to fulfill your needs(you live in California, so check the offerings in Los Angeles), and you could save the cost of airplane tickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
floridarob Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Sounds like you want the "Michael Jackson" experience.....👌 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kris123ca Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 Thanks all for the thoughts! So what do you use in Spain, Thailand, or here in US? Use some app or website to find someone? Go to gay bar / club where you try to identify someone who you would pay for time with? Bangkok Taiwan muscle club that I saw here? Somewhere in Los Angeles? Are there specific places or districts that you all can recommend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reader Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 9 hours ago, kris123ca said: Help me tell what I'm looking for? kokopelli3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t0oL1 Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 Sound like you need more time in gay bars here to notice the hot looking straight acting guys here as well. But if you go all the way overseas, it would be a shame to not remove some clothes and try further whatever comes to mind. Start slowly here and work your way up (or down) Duckduckgo won't save your searches for "gay bars los Angeles... etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ichigo Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 If you want something closer to home, I may suggest perusing the RentMen website. I'm sure there would be many that would be obliging to your requests (for compensation of course). Otherwise you can try Grindr, but sometimes can be hit and miss. You may just like to outline your expectations in your bio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy415 Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 After years of marching in Washington and the streets of our big cities, this thread makes me so very, very sad that this is this persons reality in 2024. Sorry, I just had to say that, know I'm gonna get flamed... no pun intended... Marc in Calif 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc in Calif Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 1 hour ago, Daddy415 said: After years of marching in Washington and the streets of our big cities, this thread makes me so very, very sad that this is this persons reality in 2024. Sorry, I just had to say that, know I'm gonna get flamed... no pun intended... No flaming at all! In fact, you're to be applauded. 👏 In particular, the OP wrote this: I want to do something about this before I turn in to "who's that gross old guy trolling around here?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kris123ca Posted January 9 Author Share Posted January 9 4 hours ago, reader said: Hah, ok thanks, I get it now. 3 hours ago, Daddy415 said: After years of marching in Washington and the streets of our big cities, this thread makes me so very, very sad that this is this persons reality in 2024. Sorry, I just had to say that, know I'm gonna get flamed... no pun intended... Don't feel too bad. Just because being gay is relatively acceptable today, doesn't mean that people don't still have issues and hesitancy about things to do with sex, just like straight people do. And this need I'm describing isn't a huge thing in my life, just something I want to take care of. My sexuality doesn't dominate who I am and color how I feel about the world or my life. Thanks all, for the ongoing advice and ideas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
floridarob Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 32 minutes ago, kris123ca said: And this need I'm describing isn't a huge thing in my life It might be, more than you think.... "I'm gonna do something stupid and hit on one of them." Daddy415 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asian traveller Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 It sounds like you’re in a bit of turmoil so wanted to offer some moral support. It’s easy to imagine things are easy these days but everyone comes from different backgrounds and cultures and faces their own challenges. People come out at their own pace although I can only speak from personal experience that ‘it gets better’ and if you did decide to become out, you’ll likely never know the feeling of relief and freedom and happiness it can bring. Seeking you deal with your hidden desires with a quick booster may not be your best option to overcome your hesitation but it may provide some short term relief.. or it may awaken additional desires inside of you. Either way, the world is your oyster. In answer to your question, you probably can hire someone for the ‘boy friend’ experience whether in the States or abroad. Male escorts are likely to be well versed in dealing with all situations. You probably can find on the apps if they are money boys ie professionals working in the business rather than someone looking for an actual bf or hook up. You may find some better successes in an English speaking country to begin with if you are very specific about your requirements and fear of anything could get lost in translation. The US is a big place so if you fear getting ‘caught’ then another state or Canada may be a good option. Good luck on your journey. Marc in Calif 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kris123ca Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 On 1/13/2024 at 8:15 AM, Asian traveller said: ...You probably can find on the apps ... Good luck on your journey... Like, grindr? And thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianExplorer Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 On 1/8/2024 at 11:38 AM, kris123ca said: Help me tell what I'm looking for? An escort giving you bf experience. You can do this anywhere. Brazil, Thailand, Spain, US you name it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omega Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 On 1/9/2024 at 6:21 AM, kris123ca said: Hah, ok thanks, I get it now. Don't feel too bad. Just because being gay is relatively acceptable today, doesn't mean that people don't still have issues and hesitancy about things to do with sex, just like straight people do. And this need I'm describing isn't a huge thing in my life, just something I want to take care of. My sexuality doesn't dominate who I am and color how I feel about the world or my life. Thanks all, for the ongoing advice and ideas! Your language is quite confusing. For example: "And this need I'm describing isn't a huge thing in my life, just something I want to take care of" The language implies that you think that you're going to have this experience, and that's it. Your urges will be satisfied, and you can get on with your life. Consider that it might be like just any other itch... the more you scratch it, the more it itches. And you potentially will cause damage every time you give in to the urge to scratch the itch. When you talk about issues and hesitencies, you're quite right. People do. And not just about sexuality, but about a whole lot of things in life. Generally the advice is to get support to work through those issues, and overcome the hesitencies. I don't know what your particular issues and hesitencies are, but I'd urge you to think about whether flying half way round the world is going to solve them. In a nutshell, I'm urging you to resolve the issues and hesitencies, with proper help and support, whatever they are Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
floridarob Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 1 hour ago, omega said: with proper help and support, whatever they are A sauna or massage shop would be my advice....cheaper than talking to a pysch Dr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
espnzone Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 On 1/8/2024 at 11:38 AM, kris123ca said: Hi all, visitor here posting nervously, and hoping for your advice. I'm a pretty closeted, 30 year old guy, have had very few / hesitant relations 1:1 with other guys, and I want to do something about this before I turn in to "who's that gross old guy trolling around here?" (lots of personal issues, I know). I live in California. I am moderately attractive, go to gym, so I'm not lacking in physical appearance or hideous or something. I'm not jacked, but tall, lightly muscular, and my friends note that "you're in good shape". My problem: I'm continuing to be closeted (hard to fix this one), but I'm quite attracted to my straight guy friends, and if I don't do something about this, I'm gonna do something stupid and hit on one of them. What I would like (almost need) as an experience to get me out of this problem, and here is where I'd like help to figure out what to do / where to find it: I want to meet a muscular guy for maybe 1-2 hours, not for sex, but for touching, feeling, intimacy without sex. Shorts could stay on the whole time. Looking for someone who is not roided up, hairy, etc. but looks good, goes to gym often, has relatively nice face. Have a bedroom kind of situation where I can playfully (and hopefully talking to the guy in a friendly warm way) touch his body, feel his muscles, have him flex for me If things progress and he's open to it, I'd like to hug him closely, feel his body next to mine, have our cheeks touch, ears/necks/cheeks against each other (probably no kissing, I worry about STDs) If things progress further and he's open to it, have him straddle me / act like he's going to top me for sex (but shorts on, no sex) and have me feel his body as he does the motions like he's having sex. possibly shower together, before or after. Shorts stay on, or can come off is he's comfortable. I'm not quite sure about this one myself (kind of embarrassed about being totally naked in front of a guy). Help me tell what I'm looking for? Where do you find this? In a club, through an app? Do you have to travel overseas to do this without embarrassment? Can I find this in California or do I have to go to Thailand? I'm worried about what that looks like reputation wise, but at this point I'm open to it. I've travelled to Asia before, no problems, could easily go to any country there. I don't want to stew in my own desires and have no way to experience this and get tempted to let it out on my friends inappropriately. Thanks. Who not take a solo trip to Vegas? It’s close enough to CA and offers anonymity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
