In reading and writing some of the posts in this thread, I've been entertained, informed and even re-considered certain thoughts and assumptions but you see I'm very comfortable with being challenged and hearing new perspectives. Going down memory lane was especially sweet, never bitter. Therefore, I'm a bit surprised to see some people getting so easily triggered and becoming very defensive over alternative viewpoints and varying recollections. Clearly, despite their claims of extensive knowledge and familiarity with Chiang Mai having travelled there since The Pleistocene (allegedly), they haven't learned anything from the generally equable and humble northerners and, unfortunately, still speak in that high-handed, finger-wagging, superior colonial tone. I can almost envision their blood pressure piercing through their dusty pith helmets and, if it's like this on an anonymous chat forum, I can only imagine it must be going through the roof in real life.

Good Morning. 😊

Good Thursday morning from Chiang Mai. Or is it Shanghai. I swear every time I use dictation I have to manually switch it. Siri has no love for Chiang Mai.

Hanging today with the local Grindr guy. I don’t know when the kid got any sleep. He’s already messaged me this morning. We parted ways around 9 so he could be to work by 10 last night. The plan is to get together at 8 this morning, which is 30 minutes from now and I’m still in bed. How he is awake is beyond my comprehension.

Still can’t believe this one’s into me. The whole time we were hanging out yesterday he was being friendly, but not really flirtatious. He joined me for my little walk around Nimman as I scoped out some apartment buildings. There were moments where it seemed like he might be interested, but I didn’t know if I was just imagining it. But then just like the Japanese Grindr guy from Bangkok, as soon as the door is closed, Wham! I tend to forget that Asians aren’t into PDA. I guess it’s generally not accepted or appreciated. I’m the type that likes to hold hands or play with someone’s hair that kind of thing. Especially if it’s in a gay friendly neighborhood like Nimman. And when there’s any sign that that’s not OK my natural assumption is they’re not interested. So yeah when we get back to my place last night at the door closed, holy hell did he 180.

His body is so my type it’s ridiculous. Probably about 120 or 130 pounds gymnast body. He must exercise maybe even lift weights, but not too much. When his shirt came off JFC. It was like that line from that Ryan Gosling movie when he took his shirt off and the chick goes “Seriously? It’s like you’re Photoshopped.” I guess the line in 2026 would be seriously? It’s like you’re AI.

So yeah, here we go with the juggling act I’ve got today and tomorrow with the local guy. My Japanese teacher arrives Saturday night and leaves Monday afternoon. I already told the local that I have a tour planned all day Sunday, which is kind of true. 😆 but yeah I haven’t juggled guys in like 20 years. Most of the past 10 years I didn’t have one guy in my life. So this is definitely taking me back to my hotter era… and trust me that was a long time ago.

Looking unlikely there will be much time for any bar or massage visitsfor the rest of the CM part of this trip. Maybe tonight because I think he has to work again. We’ll see. The era has also passed of me going 2 or 3 rounds in one day. 😜

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite moments yesterday while we were grabbing dinner of him trying to figure out how to eat pizza. With his body, it didn’t surprise me that it’s not a staple of his diet, but he enjoyed it. If you’re ever in CM Pizza my heart is incredibly good.

7 hours ago, NormandyCoast said:

You are def worth reading. I’d be keen to read a trip review and details without distractions. Maybe a longer report when it’s completed. Travelogue over live commentary. Less detours. I find it hard to remember who introduced the topic.

That doesn’t preclude, at that point, response posts, humour, Q&A from other chatty types, references, suggestions, etc. My sense is that the collective intelligence of the chatroom let loose upon report completion would not be any less entertaining and interesting. Obviously that doesn’t mean the core author cannot ask for suggestions. Just my two nickels.

Thanks... maybe AI can condense my babbling into something coherent and structured. :-P. I'm not a regular on this site... I might become one. But yeah I discovered you guys as I was preparing for my visit. The trip was set up to test myself to see if I really would like life in Asia as much as I thought I would. I've spent much of the past year researching all the various logistics of a move here. I didn't want to do 1 or 2 weeks and spend half of it jet lagged or running from one tourist trap to another. I wanted to give enough time to walk around neighborhoods, talk to people and sit in coffee shops and so forth.

That said, I'd always heard Thailand has lot of opportunities for some naughty fun so that's when I found this site. You'll see over on my Bangkok thread the first couple weeks of my trip I was like a kid in a candy store. I hit up all the bars and a few massage spots. There wasn't much time given to exploring all of Bangkok because at the start of the trip it really wasn't in contention for where I'd want to live. That changed... so when I go back next week, there will probably be fewer bar visits, but I'll still squeeze a few in for sure.

The chats and threads veering off course happen in boards like this. I found most of them useful and entertaining. But then again as you probably saw I'm a big proponent of the ignore/mute feature on sites like this. I have zero interest in drama and argumentative types. I'm on vacation. If you annoy me, one click and you're gone. Imagine if we had that superpower in the real world?

35 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

I tend to forget that Asians aren’t into PDA.

This is an inaccurate generalisation, IMHO. Some are, some aren't. While straight couples (emphasis on couples) tend to be more physically expressive in public, I've seen guys holding hands, one affectionately rubbing his hand on the head of another (acceptable in a relationship), dressing alike, etc. My partner likes to put his hand on my back or over my left shoulder as we walk (I draw the line at head rubbing😅).

More pertinently, why would someone you've just met be into public displays of affection when presumably there hasn't been any affection between you? That would be weird! 😅 Do you do that with strangers in the US? 🤔

49 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite moments yesterday while we were grabbing dinner of him trying to figure out how to eat pizza. With his body, it didn’t surprise me that it’s not a staple of his diet, but he enjoyed it. If you’re ever in CM Pizza my heart is incredibly good.

It's perfectly acceptable to eat pizza with your hands especially at a place like CM Pizza. Broadly speaking, pizza and KFC are probably the most popular "farang food" among Thais and, if he works in hospitality, he's probably not unaccustomed to farang and farang ways.

Anyway, happy to hear that your holiday in Chiang Mai is coming along. And no news of bad weather thus far which is good news. 😊

A little off topic but too late after i arrived here years ago I read Private Dancer by Stephen Leather - fiction exploring the bar scene and forming relationships in Thailand - for me it was a sobering read amd wished i'd read it before i arrived

6 minutes ago, musgrave said:

A little off topic but too late after i arrived here years ago I read Private Dancer by Stephen Leather - fiction exploring the bar scene and forming relationships in Thailand - for me it was a sobering read amd wished i'd read it before i arrived

Yes, strongly recommend it. Although he primarily talks about the dangers and pitfalls within the bar scene, many of the lessons can be applied to the non-bar scene too, instant friends/lovers met over the Internet, etc.

The cover of the edition that I have is of a long-haired (presumably) bar-girl holding a shaving knife behind her back. Coincidentally the word for shaving knife in Malay is pisau cukur which is the same word we use to describe golddiggers. I guess it metaphorically implies that once they've got you hooked, they're going to "shave you clean" of all your posessions. 🤷

One tactic that farang often don't catch on to until it's too late is the old "throwing a sprat to catch a mackerel". Get it for free now but pay later BIG BIG. This tactic is mostly commonly used by non-bar guys and girls on egoistical, naive farang who love to gloat about how they've landed a non-hoe bf/gf.

6 hours ago, aaroninatl said:

So yeah, here we go with the juggling act I’ve got today and tomorrow with the local guy.

I know the feeling. I have many guys whom I enjoy being with and I want to be with them.

Evening gents... another fail in terms of giving you any good juice on the bars... I think I'm in for the night. Local guy and I spent the day together. He just left for work. Had some fun this morning when he arrived at my Airbnb. We then went out to breakfast at my favorite little American diner and then headed back to Nimman. Checked out their mall (Maya). Nothing like the mega malls in Bangkok, but nicer than most US malls these days. We went to a movie (Avengers) where I started falling asleep in the first hour. How he wasn't yawning and dozy is beyond me. He worked until 6am and was at my place by 10:30. After we came back and grabbed dinner at a little Thai restaurant across the street. Nothing worth plugging but it was ok. And he was my dessert back in the Airbnb. 😜

He wore this yellow zip up jacket today with no shirt underneath. It was driving me wild all day. His chest gets me all, well you know. Most guys are about bulge and so forth. I'm a smile and chest guy. He is well equipped but his rare combo of cute and sexy is what drives me nuts.

So it's been 24 hours since I've heard from Bangkok guy. I'm starting to wonder if he might hang back there this weekend. I'm kind of hoping he does. I'll see him plenty of times when I'm back there those last 2 weeks of the trip.

For your photo of the day, here’s the cute little presentation of the rice at dinner tonight.

1 hour ago, aaroninatl said:

His chest gets me all, well you know

......

For your photo of the day, here’s the cute little presentation of the rice at dinner tonight.

what about photo of that chest, keep smile and bulge part cropped out ?

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

what about photo of that chest, keep smile and bulge part cropped out ?

It's 1:30 A.M. in Thailand, so here's a cropped one for you @vinapu, to hold you over until @aaroninatl can respond later, after he wakes up.

This guy has been posting very revealing (cock) pix of himself on X, and he has been showing up in my feed.

Hint: He used to work at your favorite bar. I'll bet that just from this cropped image, you'll be able to identify him in 2.3 seconds or less.

You have a good heart !!!

It kind of made my day

It took 3.7 secs as I needed to comb through my pictures from the said bar.

He can be seen now in Big Boys on Patpong 1

@aaroninatl, I saw this recent post today on X, post is dated Sept 14. Was this the same Hug bar you had the poor experience in?

If it's the same place, I wonder if you hit it on a bad day, or too early in the evening? It seems like they have a lot of boys working there. Name is Hug Phuchat. Posted by a Thai guy, X account name can be seen at top of photo.

If it's the same place, sorry, but don't kill the messenger (please).

9 hours ago, vinapu said:

what about photo of that chest, keep smile and bulge part cropped out ?

Haha I actually did consider that but no I don’t feel right about doing that. He’s not a willing participant in this board. And with the way technology is these days and where it’s going who knows what can of worms that could open. Think Joseph Gordon Levitt in mysterious skin. That’s his body type.

6 hours ago, daydreamer said:

It's 1:30 A.M. in Thailand, so here's a cropped one for you @vinapu, to hold you over until @aaroninatl can respond later, after he wakes up.

This guy has been posting very revealing (cock) pix of himself on X, and he has been showing up in my feed.

Hint: He used to work at your favorite bar. I'll bet that just from this cropped image, you'll be able to identify him in 2.3 seconds or less.

Oh yeah, his bod is certainly nothing like that. 😆 I like the lean look. Not so much into muscular.

17 hours ago, jason1975 said:

I know the feeling. I have many guys whom I enjoy being with and I want to be with them.

If they were all paid situations, I wouldn’t feel bad about it. Obviously at that point it’s transactional. When I go grocery shopping, I’m not committed to one grocery store. 😆 But yeah when it’s two guys who have a genuine interest, I do start to feel guilty.

Both of these guys know I’m just here for a couple more weeks and paths may never cross again. So there’s no long-term thinking. That’s why I’m kind ok with juggling. But my conscience still eats at me.

Good Friday morning fellas. Not sure what the day has in store quite yet. Today was the day I planned to go to Mae Kampong. Already booked the round-trip van ride. But my local guy here has the day off and unfortunately, the van is sold out both ways. We looked at other van services and it looks like there’s really nothing practical, except if we were to take a Grab out there which doesn’t seem worth it. I’m sure I’ll have another chance to go again even possibly on this trip. But we’re gonna do something else that we can do together. Maybe that café north of Chiang Mai with all the dogs and elephants that I think @musgrave was referring to early in this thread.

Still haven’t heard from the Bangkok guy. Could be he’s just busy with work. But the last interaction was I think Wednesday when I asked about his flight details. So I might not have to do any juggling after all.

6 hours ago, vinapu said:

It kind of made my day

It took 3.7 secs as I needed to comb through my pictures from the said bar.

He can be seen now in Big Boys on Patpong 1

no, after further looking into it it looks I took guy from pics above for different guy ( with shockingly similar tattoo but on opposite side of chest ) . But guy in Big Boys may be still worth seeing if one likes muscle and other biggish things

20 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

Still haven’t heard from the Bangkok guy. Could be he’s just busy with work. But the last interaction was I think Wednesday when I asked about his flight details. So I might not have to do any juggling after all.

busy or reading this forum

Just now, vinapu said:

busy or reading this forum

Haha let’s hope not. He’s about 30 or 40 years away from being in this forum’s demographic. 😆

Just now, aaroninatl said:

Haha let’s hope not.

after tomorrow you will know

23 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

. So I might not have to do any juggling after all.

I always found juggling guys exhausting.

I solved the problem by searching for a guy I could spend all my time with on every holiday.

For me, it makes everything really easy. No more hopping from bar to bar every night trying to find a suitable guy - difficult I'd you are not a drinker-, sex on tap anytime, getting to know each other's preferences in bed and best of all, no surprises.

But a lot of punters enjoy the chase and are 'not committed to one grocery store'.

Oh, and fuck the chest - bring on the bulge!!!

1 minute ago, a-447 said:

I always found juggling guys exhausting.

I solved the problem by searching for a guy I could spend all my time with on every holiday.

For me, it makes everything really easy. No more hopping from bar to bar every night trying to find a suitable guy - difficult I'd you are not a drinker-, sex on tap anytime, getting to know each other's preferences in bed and best of all, no surprises.

But a lot of punters enjoy the chase and are 'not committed to one grocery store'.

I’m with you. I didn’t plan to juggle. I’m just not used to having multiple opportunities at my age to have fun with guys who look like this without hitting the ATM. 😆 the one I met this week was on Grindr. I didn’t message him. I just used that tap feature thinking I had no chance with this guy anyway. Then I got the message alert.

Not only do I not like to juggle I try not to even make unpaid connections anyway. If I’m on a trip to a place where I know there’s some naughty fun to be had out at those bars, strip clubs etc usually the last thing I want is someone who’s boyfriend material to derail the debauchery. 😆

But yeah, at my age, being in any way attractive to a quality guy in his 20s is so beyond flattering. When I look in the mirror, there’s not much I see left. I was the hot guy in the club 30 years ago, but that was 30 years ago. I’m trying to embrace good-looking daddy status. 😆

3 minutes ago, aaroninatl said:

usually the last thing I want is someone who’s boyfriend material to derail the debauchery. 😆

Debauchery - the bane of every gay's life.

Thank God!

Who'd want to be straight? 🤣

37 minutes ago, a-447 said:

I always found juggling guys exhausting.

I solved the problem by searching for a guy I could spend all my time with on every holiday.

For me, it makes everything really easy. No more hopping from bar to bar every night trying to find a suitable guy - difficult I'd you are not a drinker-, sex on tap anytime, getting to know each other's preferences in bed and best of all, no surprises.

I already have one regular guy. But I like other guys and I want to meet them. I ask my guy and he understands and lets me meet them.

On 9/23/2026 at 3:48 AM, mauRICE said:

My 2026 keeps getting better. Just got a call from my niece's husband to tell me that she gave birth to a healthy baby girl about an hour ago. Oh my the texts are coming in... Mother and child are safe and I've now officially become a great uncle! 👶😍🥰💞

At least in America there is a history of reclaiming words to take away their power. Think queer, it used to be high on that list. I think you are probably right how it will be seen in Thailand but it way predates Magat crowd in the US. The democrats having a donkey mascot was originally an insult…