Mavica

Not all of us came to Thailand "because we sought sexual intimacy we couldn't find at home."  Depending on age, yes ... many.  My first visit to BKK was in 1992 - 30 years ago.  At the time I was not partnered but had a very active sex life in Chicago where I lived.  I also traveled to many other countries.  Sex wasn't the only reason for these travels, but it was an important 'add on".  The only country I've made a first trip to for sex ... was Brazil; Rio de Janeiro.
I've never lived in Thailand, but I have lived on other countries.  The longest length of time I've lived "abroad" was the 6 years I spent living/working in Mexico; Mexico City.
In Mexico I was in my 40s and had sex to a level as if I was starving (and then having been fulfilled!).  Sometimes, early-on, I had sex with 4 or 5 guys in a single day. If it walked, I'd fuck it.   It was an extraordinary time in my life.  As I satisfied the urge I developed repeat encounters with probably a half-dozen guys.  They'd just show up on my doorstep, unannounced.  I loved each one of them, and there were periods of time when one or two would live / stay with me for varying lengths of time (a weekend, a week, three months, a year, etc.).  Mostly young men from the country, making periodic visits to the big city.  Not just in Mexico City, but in Acapulco.  A couple of them were elite military.  Awesome lovers, each. 
Direct payment of money for sex/companionship wasn't always expected.  When it was, it was (at the time) relatively minimal (Peso equivalent of US$20/50 per stay, usually).  Though, one was a dental student who needed US$200 for dental school tuition (one of the most fantastic fucks I've ever had).  They'd stay with me, I'd give them a place to stay, feed them, do their laundry, buy them some new clothing, a return bus ticket home ... and in two instances money to get them across the border into the USA to join family members (one of whom perished working in the World Trade Center 9/11).
"True love"?  Yes.  At my age, I've learned to accept what comes my way - with gratitude.  Share my affections and accept those of others ... without demands from either side.  I have no problem sharing what I have, when I have it with partners (temporary or not) when they need help.
 

Guess I'll just count myself as very lucky. The last six years of my life have been the happiest of the preceding 70. Up until that point I'd always considered myself a committed butterfly.
I don't concern myself with "true" love. I'm perfectly happy just to have someone simply to love. I don't need a litmus test with which to measure it.
We insulate ourselves by the use of language. We become "clients", young men become "professionals." That makes it easier to put the required emotional distance between us. For many, that's a healthy way to look at it. The parties part ways without emotional baggage.
I tip my hat to all those who find contentment in their later years without any emotional attachments. At one time I counted myself in that camp. And then a simple smile turned my life on a dime. You may think of me as foolhardy and delusional. So be it. But you can't feel what I feel; know what I know.
We all came to Thailand because we sought sexual intimacy we couldn't find at home. Please be tolerant of those of us who discovered emotional intimacy and affection in that same pursuit.

Just to emphasise the importance of keeping the employers unaware. Once I arrived at a go go bar moments after the lad arrived for work. He put his head round the door and went with me, despite my questioning whether this was ok without my paying the off fee. He was new in town and said it was ok. He was sacked the next day because of this. He was reinstated the day after that when I returned to the bar and paid the off fee. 

As Boy69 mentioned most hotels in the area have no problem with guests, it comes down to your budget and requirements. I like Le Meridien and SO Sofitel (SO lifts can be annoying though). At Le Meridien you just walk straight to the lifts with your guest, the reception will just say hello.
Prices are always a hot topic, generally short time visitors in Bangkok will want minimum 2000 baht. I don't do overnight much so I would just be guessing long time, but it's a discussion you should have with your guest for the night before you agree to take them back.
Read some trip reports, they're your best source for info on where the type of guys you want will be, and how much some BMs have been asked or offer to pay.

With so many posts now on the matter of tips, could we have a sub-section of the Thailand board that deals exclusively with tips? It's obviously important for newbies but becomes very repetitive and boring for regular visitors and residents. This thread has a lot of useful information but most has little to do with the thread title!

repetitive yes but boring ? 
no subject ever generates that much heat like money, specially other's people money.
It's why we have so many posts about tips like you noticed, we always had and in future we will.
Interest in beauty of Grand Palace or Ayuthaya ruins fades fast when somebody posts that his boy rejected generous 1000 baht offer for long time and counteroffered greedily with 10000. I don't even want to start with thinking what would happen here if that 10000 was agreed upon and paid

So true, the world over.

You should consider yourself as a very lucky man because it is very rare to find true love with much younger guy then you from a completely different culture then yours.

OH!! But I think Old Daddy's Electrican???  😋

That is exactly the kind of problem I'm warning about.  Some might be lucky and it doesn't happen, but believe me that is the exception.  The problem is, as I said, no matter how much you give, it's never enough.  And the pleas for money never stops.
One poster calls my advice ludicrous and says just block him.  Really?  Try it.  Just try it,  It won't take long to see how doing that seems like it will work, except for one thing - it doesn't . . .
If you want to send money as a gift, by all means send how much you want.  No problem about him knowing who sent it if, and only if, he doesn't get your contact information.

The flip side of the question is likewise worth considering:
How are customers different than say 20 years ago?
They're older
They're more suspicious
They're more paranoid
Other than that, I don't see a lot of difference 🙂

I wanted to say that but you were faster, Then foreigners were rarity , now , at least in some bars they seem to dominate.
Biggest difference is that then they had smile and cock, now they have smile,  cock and smartphone which is often more rigid than their cock.

The new generation of money boys are more business oriented they want money here and now they don't develop unrealistic expectations for long term romantic relationship with falangs .
The most important change is that the quantity and quality of the Thai boys available reduced substantially due the huge improvement in the Thai economy.

Well, mine are older. They were 20 back then. Now, they are 40. 20 years makes a huge difference in age.
 

Glad you said that. You'll never regret being polite and smiling.
It has to be about 12 years ago that I was approached by a gorgeous guy on Soi Tarntawan who was hawking for Super A bar. I can still remember his line" "You don't have to buy drink. Just go take a look." I had been to Super A before and knew I'd never find a guy this good inside so I replied, "you're a really cute guy; would you like to come to my hotel?" He seemed taken aback and after a few seconds responded with. "OK, 4,000 baht."
I'd never heard a number like this before and I said, "you're not that cute."
I regret it to this day. Not only because it was unkind, but it wasn't true. He was that cute. Those four words abruptly ended any opportunity I may have had with him.
That I can still recall the exchange a dozen years ago makes it all so clear to me that I've never really forgotten him. When I passed by him a week or so later, he just looked down and shuffled his feet.
Why didn't I just make a counter offer? Why didn't I apologize when I saw him again? 
Because I was stupid.
 
 

Monkeypox information:
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/monkeypox
https://www.ncdhhs.gov/media/17425/download?attachment?attachment
https://www.fda.gov/vaccines-blood-biologics/vaccines/key-facts-about-vaccines-prevent-monkeypox-disease

That is what I would say too.  I don't mind being generous with the boys, but I mind very much being ripped off, and that is how I see the prices being quoted.
I'll stick with the apps.  I used to be among those who felt as if they are missing something if they weren't in the bars every night.  Now I'm just fine having little to do with them at all.  Besides, I'm not a drinker in the first place.
I'm sure I would view it differently if I were in Thailand only for holidays.  Living here, I see things much differently.
I check out Jomtien Complex once every few months or so.  I haven't been to Sunee Plaza since Covid began.  I haven't been to Boyztown in years.  For me, that's quite enough.  For me times, and apparently prices, have changed.

Santa Marta is in my list, but probably for when I am already staying in Bogotá or Medellín for several months. I would probably visit for a week or even just a weekend. My curiosity for Cali is evolving in the same direction.
I know I just said that one should not get hooked with one destination and instead try different ones in different trips. However, Rio is just too tempting. To make its charms more irresistibly, I just learned that Rhyheim Shabazz will probably be in the city by November. If the situation does not change, everything seems to tell me that I have to spend  my Thanksgiving break in Rio. 

issue with bottoming may be size of client, on few occasions boys, when asked told me they would bottom but only for small size

Saturday would be my last opportunity to visit a sauna in the evening as I would be leaving in the afternoon on Sunday. 
 
I decided to go to 117 for my last night which turned out to be a good choice as I had a couple of sessions with two guys I had met earlier on the trip. A fun way to finish my sauna visits for this trip. 
 
Sunday I visited the hippie market in Ipanema before heading to the airport in the afternoon. Catching a connecting flight to GRU and starting the long journey home. 
 
The trip had been a great experience with the opportunity to meet some amazing guys. 
 
I will get to do it all again in a months time. 

Yes, it does.  That is exactly what is going on.   I wouldn't go as far as calling it sinister or calling it a plot, but with all I've seen, heard, and personally experienced over the years, I'm convinced the vast majority of the money boys are trying to do just that - and I don't blame them.  You know why?  Because too many farang treat them as if they are nothing more than sex machines, make empty promises, screw over the boys, and generally treat them as if they and their lives mean nothing.  Many make no effort whatsoever to understand anything at all about their lives and culture.  It's just give me my happy ending massage and here's the smallest amount I can get away with tipping you.  Nearly all the money boys I've known over the years have stories about being treated like that - more often than not. 
If you've been on these boards long enough, you probably have seen that for yourself - farang trying to figure out the cheapest they can get away with giving to these boys.
Just today one of the boys was telling me what happened to him a few days go.  He advertises himself on some of the apps as a massage boy.  That's all he does and he'll say so.  He'll give a good massage and a happy ending, but no fucking.  Meanwhile, he says, most of the farang trying to make an arrangement with him make it clear they want to fuck him.  He turns them down.  But just a few days ago one customer said he understood and won't try to go beyond his limits.  The boy went to the farang's place, started the massage, and shortly into it the farang wanted to fuck him.  The boy reminded him of what the agreement was.  The farang gave him a couple hundred baht and told him harshly to get out.  He'll find another boy who will do what he wants.
Have you any idea of how many similar stories I've heard over the years?  Most are much worse.  You can label it a "sinister plot" if you want to, but I see it much differently.
So, I stand by exactly what I have already posted on this topic.  Nobody has to agree with me, but I'm in a position to know more about it than most on these boards.  I see it as I see it.  If anyone doesn't want to believe me, fine with me - believe whatever you want.

Neither do I.  You're greatly exaggerating what I'm trying to say.  All I'm trying to convey is it is very easy to fall into the trap, even if that is not at all what the boy intended, so be careful and use common sense.  For me it is not a question of what I believe.  It is a question of what I see, what I'm told, and what I know has happened between many farang and boys.  I'm talking about money boys.  What do you think a money boy is after? 
I am perfectly well aware that most farang go to Thailand, have a great time, and nothing goes wrong during their stay and after they return home.  But enough of it does happen that it is easy to lose sight of reality.  Over the years I've seen too much.  As I said, believe whatever you want, but I'm telling you I know what I'm talking about.  Enjoy your time in Thailand with the boys, but remember - you stand warned.

I think all of the above can be condensed to:
There is a very small minority of farang that try to manipulate the boys and treat them badly, we all know that.
There is also a very small minority of boys that try to manipulate farang to do their bidding. I see this day in day out on Facebook where the same guys try to guilt trip some unlucky guy into doing what ever it is they require. Similarly I have seen them play mind games on the gay apps and throw a hissy fit when they don't get their way.
Either was both camps are best avoided!

If you are a citizen or permanent resident of the USA, my understanding is that it's a violation of USA federal law to travel abroad and have sex with someone under the age of 18 - no matter the age of consent adopted by a particular foreign nation which may be less.
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/2423

I'm not surprised.  As I said, I've seen this tactic time after time over the years.  Your story and Min's story are merely the two latest.
The most vulnerable farang are the first-timers and those who don't read these boards.  They go to Thailand, go to the bars for the first time, are overwhelmed that a young, good looking boy seems very interested in him, is very affectionate with him, and gives him a sexual experience like he's never had before in his life.
The farang victim is convinced the boy has fallen in love with him, so now he falls in love with the boy.  The trap has been sprung.  He treats the boy like a king while he is in Thailand and promises to financially support him after he goes back to his home country. Once he's returned home, that's when the pleas for money start.  Usually it's small amounts at first and not too often.  Then the boy comes up with more and more reasons why he needs more and more money, more and more often.  No matter how much you give him, it's never enough.  It continues until the farang just can't do it anymore.  Relationship over.  The farang is heartbroken, but the boy simply moves on to his next target if he hasn't been doing that since the moment you left.
I have a feeling more than one person reading this has had exactly that happen to him and is either still in the middle of it or has learned the hard way what truly has been going on.
I remember years ago a friend from Scotland came to Pattaya.  He met a bar boy and fell for it.  He was in love.  He forgot that nobody really falls in love that quickly and no bar boy is going to fall truly in love with a farang customer in such a short time.   Sometimes people forget - a real relationship develops over time.  Falling in true love in just a few days is fine for the movies, but in real life it doesn't work that way.
There, of course, have been exceptions, but few and far between.  I was with them the day my friend left to return to Scotland.  He was staying at the Ambiance in Pattaya.  The boy was there too while my friend was waiting for the taxi to the airport arrived.  He wanted to give the boy a lot of money to go to a language school for English lessons.  I tried to talk him out of it, but failed.  I got him to at least give me the money and let me directly pay the language school.  He agreed to that and the boy acted very excited about being able to learn English.  Meanwhile, when the taxi arrived my friend and the boy had a tearful farewell.  Then the farang got into the taxi.  No sooner than the taxi rounded the corner at Second road the boy tried to get me to give him the money.  Of course I refused.  A day or two later I took him to the language school, paid the school for his lesson program, and that was that.  A few weeks later I received an Email from my friend asking me to check with the language school about the boy's progress.  It turned out that the boy did go - for a grand total of one lesson.  Then he told some story to the school, got them to refund the money, and disappeared from Pattaya.  I never saw him again.  And I'm the one who had to break that news to my friend.  He doesn't go to Thailand at all any more.
There are so many stories.  Another of my favorites was the boy who carried around 5 mobile phones,  5 different farang.
Another one - Maybe some of you remember the lady-boy manager at Corner Bar.  He was getting financial support from 2 different farang.  Then his nightmare happened.  Both of the farang showed up at the same time for a 2 week holiday.  I don't know how he managed to successfully pull it off, but he juggled things around and got away with it.  Neither farang had any idea of the existence of the other one. (I hope neither of those farang are reading this . . .)
In other words, be careful.  Think with your head, not your crotch.  And do not - repeat: do not make any promises.  The safest thing to do with the boy of your dreams is to enjoy every moment with him, but whatever you do, don't give him your contact information, especially not your Email address.  When it is time for you to go home, give him a very generous tip, thank him for a fabulous holiday, and goodbye.  Anything more than that and you too could easily fall into the trap.  If he does manage to contact you - maybe via LINE or an app - just ignore it or block him.  Do NOT respond.  He'll stop once he realizes he's not going to get any money out of you.
One of my favorite "make me cringe" things I hear farang say - "Not this boy.  He's different."  Yeah, right.
This is a good time to once again post my all time favorite quote - The Richard Burk Philosophy:
"If you want love in Thailand, rent it."