Gaybutton

Just out of curiosity, how do you know that?  Didn't he eat and manage to survive all his life until you came into the picture?  If he really ends up in the street, which I doubt, why is that your problem?

And what's his problem about finding a job?  Assuming he is in Pattaya, plenty of jobs are available now.  Of course, as long as you are supporting him, what does he need a job for?
Your heart may be in the right place, but don't be surprised if the reality turns out that you are being had, which is exactly what I think.
My free, unsolicited advice would be not to just suddenly cut him off, but give him enough to support himself for a month or two and let him know this is it.  This is the last I'm giving.  There will be no more.  Your choices are find a job, join the military, or become a monk, but once this money runs out, you're on your own.

Just out of curiosity, how do you know that?  Didn't he eat and manage to survive all his life until you came into the picture?  If he really ends up in the street, which I doubt, why is that your problem?

And what's his problem about finding a job?  Assuming he is in Pattaya, plenty of jobs are available now.  Of course, as long as you are supporting him, what does he need a job for?
Your heart may be in the right place, but don't be surprised if the reality turns out that you are being had, which is exactly what I think.
My free, unsolicited advice would be not to just suddenly cut him off, but give him enough to support himself for a month or two and let him know this is it.  This is the last I'm giving.  There will be no more.  Your choices are find a job, join the military, or become a monk, but once this money runs out, you're on your own.

Just out of curiosity, how do you know that?  Didn't he eat and manage to survive all his life until you came into the picture?  If he really ends up in the street, which I doubt, why is that your problem?

And what's his problem about finding a job?  Assuming he is in Pattaya, plenty of jobs are available now.  Of course, as long as you are supporting him, what does he need a job for?
Your heart may be in the right place, but don't be surprised if the reality turns out that you are being had, which is exactly what I think.
My free, unsolicited advice would be not to just suddenly cut him off, but give him enough to support himself for a month or two and let him know this is it.  This is the last I'm giving.  There will be no more.  Your choices are find a job, join the military, or become a monk, but once this money runs out, you're on your own.

Just out of curiosity, how do you know that?  Didn't he eat and manage to survive all his life until you came into the picture?  If he really ends up in the street, which I doubt, why is that your problem?

And what's his problem about finding a job?  Assuming he is in Pattaya, plenty of jobs are available now.  Of course, as long as you are supporting him, what does he need a job for?
Your heart may be in the right place, but don't be surprised if the reality turns out that you are being had, which is exactly what I think.
My free, unsolicited advice would be not to just suddenly cut him off, but give him enough to support himself for a month or two and let him know this is it.  This is the last I'm giving.  There will be no more.  Your choices are find a job, join the military, or become a monk, but once this money runs out, you're on your own.

Are you serious?  I would think you know as well as I do that the last place on Earth where you have to be lonely is Pattaya.  What do you want?  What are you looking for?
If you are looking for companionship, nothing could be quicker or easier.
If you're looking for a life partner, that's an entirely different matter.  You don't need me or anyone else to post "How to find the right partner" lessons.  But for sure you're not going to find him by sitting out on the balcony staring at the sea.

Are you serious?  I would think you know as well as I do that the last place on Earth where you have to be lonely is Pattaya.  What do you want?  What are you looking for?
If you are looking for companionship, nothing could be quicker or easier.
If you're looking for a life partner, that's an entirely different matter.  You don't need me or anyone else to post "How to find the right partner" lessons.  But for sure you're not going to find him by sitting out on the balcony staring at the sea.

Others may disagree with me, but I've learned not to even try to buy gifts for the boys.  Instead I give money and let them buy what they want.  Most times when farang buy gifts for the boys, the boy will react very happy about it.  Later he will either throw it away or give it to somebody else.
Giving money may seem tacky to us, but believe me, unless the boy specifically asked for something, he'll appreciate money much more than a gift you pick out for him.  And to the boys a gift of money is not tacky at all.

I feel just as sorry for them as anyone else, especially when I'm certain their story is true.  But I also remember I did not do that to them and I am not responsible for their lives.  I do what I can without causing problems for myself.  For example, one boy who I had gotten to know very well had gone back to the rice farm.  Just last month he needed a sprayer and fertilizer.  I knew - not guessed, but knew - he was telling the truth.  Not particularly expensive for me, but way beyond his means.  I bought the sprayer and fertilizer for him, but made it clear this is all I can do and if he needs anything else, he's on his own.  He respected that and he is doing fine.
He knows me well enough to know that once I set the limit, that's all he is going to get out of me.    He got what he needed and I don't get harassed for more and more money.  I have a life too and I intend to live it - at least what's left of it . . .

I feel just as sorry for them as anyone else, especially when I'm certain their story is true.  But I also remember I did not do that to them and I am not responsible for their lives.  I do what I can without causing problems for myself.  For example, one boy who I had gotten to know very well had gone back to the rice farm.  Just last month he needed a sprayer and fertilizer.  I knew - not guessed, but knew - he was telling the truth.  Not particularly expensive for me, but way beyond his means.  I bought the sprayer and fertilizer for him, but made it clear this is all I can do and if he needs anything else, he's on his own.  He respected that and he is doing fine.
He knows me well enough to know that once I set the limit, that's all he is going to get out of me.    He got what he needed and I don't get harassed for more and more money.  I have a life too and I intend to live it - at least what's left of it . . .

I feel just as sorry for them as anyone else, especially when I'm certain their story is true.  But I also remember I did not do that to them and I am not responsible for their lives.  I do what I can without causing problems for myself.  For example, one boy who I had gotten to know very well had gone back to the rice farm.  Just last month he needed a sprayer and fertilizer.  I knew - not guessed, but knew - he was telling the truth.  Not particularly expensive for me, but way beyond his means.  I bought the sprayer and fertilizer for him, but made it clear this is all I can do and if he needs anything else, he's on his own.  He respected that and he is doing fine.
He knows me well enough to know that once I set the limit, that's all he is going to get out of me.    He got what he needed and I don't get harassed for more and more money.  I have a life too and I intend to live it - at least what's left of it . . .

Oh yes I do know - only too well.  I too lived by myself.  I came to Thailand years before living there and went through it many times.  For me some of the most terrible days of my life were the days my holiday was over and i had to return to the USA.  I clearly remember more than once, when I had to change planes in Tokyo on my way back to the USA, right next to the plane to the USA there was a plane getting ready to go to Bangkok.  It was all I could do not to try to board that plane.
Personally, though it isn't easy, I'd choose being lonely and realistically looking forward to my next holiday in Thailand rather than get stuck in a money trap with obviously insincere boy.  Unfortunately, the choice becomes accepting reality or trying to continue living a fantasy.  I hope you make the right decision.

The only thing you did wrong was thinking you did something wrong.  You did nothing wrong at all.
You make a good point about trying to joke with them, at least until you know the kinds of things they think are funny and the kinds of jokes they just don't get.  Rodney Dangerfield would be a total flop in Thailand.  And don't take it personally or feel insulted if a boy calls you old or fat or bald.  That's one of their ideas of humor and they mean nothing by it.  Understanding their sense of humor takes time.  For example, if a boy calls me fat, I just laugh and tell him I'm not fat.  I'm having a baby.  That's the kind of thing they think is hilarious.

Not necessary, but I appreciate that and accept.

That's right.  You never know, so it is best to be very cautious about it.  Don't forget, I live in Pattaya and have been here many years.  I think I know a little more about the goings on than people who go to Thailand for holidays, even if it is months at a time, and decide now they know more than people who live here.
Some of the "expert" posts I see cause me to spend several minutes finishing up having my little laugh.
I'm not warning frivolously. 

Why are you assuming I meant you?  I wasn't even thinking about you.  I had someone else in mind - not even a poster on this board, but I'm not going to say who.  However, your assumption, although wrong,  does amuse me.

Oh yes I do know - only too well.  I too lived by myself.  I came to Thailand years before living there and went through it many times.  For me some of the most terrible days of my life were the days my holiday was over and i had to return to the USA.  I clearly remember more than once, when I had to change planes in Tokyo on my way back to the USA, right next to the plane to the USA there was a plane getting ready to go to Bangkok.  It was all I could do not to try to board that plane.
Personally, though it isn't easy, I'd choose being lonely and realistically looking forward to my next holiday in Thailand rather than get stuck in a money trap with obviously insincere boy.  Unfortunately, the choice becomes accepting reality or trying to continue living a fantasy.  I hope you make the right decision.

Me too.  Trouble was every month I had to send a bouquet of flowers to my hands . . .

"Love is putting yourself last so that he can come first"
-  Gene Barry, '
 

That's right.  You never know, so it is best to be very cautious about it.  Don't forget, I live in Pattaya and have been here many years.  I think I know a little more about the goings on than people who go to Thailand for holidays, even if it is months at a time, and decide now they know more than people who live here.
Some of the "expert" posts I see cause me to spend several minutes finishing up having my little laugh.
I'm not warning frivolously. 

That is exactly the kind of problem I'm warning about.  Some might be lucky and it doesn't happen, but believe me that is the exception.  The problem is, as I said, no matter how much you give, it's never enough.  And the pleas for money never stops.
One poster calls my advice ludicrous and says just block him.  Really?  Try it.  Just try it,  It won't take long to see how doing that seems like it will work, except for one thing - it doesn't . . .
If you want to send money as a gift, by all means send how much you want.  No problem about him knowing who sent it if, and only if, he doesn't get your contact information.

How much more of a surprise could it be, unexpectedly receiving a notification money has been sent to you and is available at any Western Union pick up office?

As long as I'm making corrections and updating, yes it was Richard Burk who said that to me many years ago.  Over the years I have repeated it many times on many topics.
He was the owner of the Amor restaurant in Boyztown.  After 16 years the restaurant eventually failed.  The owner of the New Orleans restaurant, also well known in Boyztown, took over the location and converted it to a deli which he named Street Life.  I never understood his rationale for that name, nevertheless at the time it was the only one of its kind in Pattaya.  Richard did not own it.  He was there as the manager.
Street Life eventually failed too and Richard ended up going from job to job as restaurant manager in various locations.  His final one was at Coco's restaurant on Soi Chaiyapruek - and that one eventually failed too.
Richard had a very difficult time of it after Street Life failed, but one thing I always admired him for - he was a fighter.  Despite all of his troubles he never gave up.
I think those of us who have been in Pattaya long enough, whether they liked him or not, well remember Richard.  He was quite a character.
Richard died in March, 2017.
 

That is exactly the kind of problem I'm warning about.  Some might be lucky and it doesn't happen, but believe me that is the exception.  The problem is, as I said, no matter how much you give, it's never enough.  And the pleas for money never stops.
One poster calls my advice ludicrous and says just block him.  Really?  Try it.  Just try it,  It won't take long to see how doing that seems like it will work, except for one thing - it doesn't . . .
If you want to send money as a gift, by all means send how much you want.  No problem about him knowing who sent it if, and only if, he doesn't get your contact information.

That is exactly the kind of problem I'm warning about.  Some might be lucky and it doesn't happen, but believe me that is the exception.  The problem is, as I said, no matter how much you give, it's never enough.  And the pleas for money never stops.
One poster calls my advice ludicrous and says just block him.  Really?  Try it.  Just try it,  It won't take long to see how doing that seems like it will work, except for one thing - it doesn't . . .
If you want to send money as a gift, by all means send how much you want.  No problem about him knowing who sent it if, and only if, he doesn't get your contact information.

That is what I think, but not in the way you probably think I think . . .
He did exactly right and he tried his damnedest to pull it off.  This is just the kind of trap I keep trying to warn about.
If you're in Thailand for a holiday, enjoy the boys, but don't let the money boys get too close to you.  The non money boys either.  Enjoy it while you're in Thailand, but don't give him any of your contact information - None.  If you made the mistake of giving him your Email address, Facebook page, or anything else, change it as soon as you return home.  In Thailand buy a cheap phone and put in a Thai SIM card that you can get rid of when you leave.  If he wants your phone number, give him that one.  You can get perfectly good, very cheap phones here for as little as 300 baht.  If you have a LINE ID, change it to something else when you return home. 
Especially if you're inexperienced in Thailand, you do not want any of these boys to be able to contact you after you leave.  If you think the boy of your dreams that you met here is any different, think again.  "Not this boy.  He's different."  Is that so?
If you're wondering why I also said non money boys, I'll try to illustrate why I said that.  Many years ago, long before caller ID or any of the modern gimmicks, the phone rang and my father answered it.  After saying hello, he simply listened.  After several minutes he said, "I can't afford a free vacation" and hung up.  Got the idea?
I hope you'll heed my advice rather than finding out the hard way that you should have . . .