All the best, Jimmie.

Take care.

Well, we have an interesting turn of events here.  This morning after we finished eating some breakfast, Cam asked me how I am feeling and what I think now that I have been in Cambodia for more than a month.  He was specifically asking for my thoughts about Cambodia in general, and quite possibly a comparison to Thailand…not sure about that last part.  In general, I try to be very careful about comparing things here to any other country, including Thailand and US.  I am never quite sure how sensitive an issue that is, so believe it is better to err on the side of caution.  After I responded to his question, he then asked what I thought of Battambang and how I was feeling about the city.  Since we are talking about living here, that was a fair and reasonable question.  After sharing my thoughts, turned the tables and asked him how he was feeling about it and if Battambang was still the city of choice, or would he prefer something even closer to his family.  I certainly wouldn’t mind looking for a place in his home province as long as we had our own place and did not live with his family…regardless of the new house.  To my surprise, he said he was having second thoughts about Battambang and perhaps we should rethink Siem Reap as our home base.  He said whether we are in Battambang or Siem Reap, he had no plans to see his parents or siblings on a somewhat regular basis.  We might go to visit once every six weeks or so, but he has no desire to visit daily or weekly.  So, we are going to go ahead and meet with the real estate agent at 1:30pm today and check out some possible places here in Battambang.  However, we might need to adjust our plans to spend a few more days in Siem Reap before I leave in November and meet with an agent there as well.  My fear is that he is thinking I would be happier or it would be an easier adjustment for me if we were in Siem Reap.  He hasn’t said that…but my gut is telling me that this isn’t so much about him changing his mind as it is out of concern for me.  I don’t believe I have given any indication that I don’t care for Battambang…I actually like it and think I would prefer it over Siem Reap.  Not quite sure where we will end up at this point.  lol.

If you guys lived in SR, what about his chickens and goat farming?

You could always offer to build an in-law apt at the house and always be with the family 😉

Maybe he's found this forum and knows what you're thinking and how you feel 😳


Living in SR, for me makes sense but the temptations of wondering would be too great, for me at least.

8 hours ago, floridarob said:

You could always offer to build an in-law apt at the house and always be with the family 😉

We used to call this a granny flat. What is the Cambodian equivalent for this I wonder? House of Falang?

8 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

..... To my surprise, he said he was having second thoughts about Battambang and perhaps we should rethink Siem Reap as our home base.

not rushing with any advice but I for one would definitely prefer Siem Reap, if only due to proximity of all those fabulous monuments as well as greater availability of western comforts. Battambang has those as well but not in a range Siem Reap does. Advantage of Battambang in my heart is it's rail connection to Phnom Penh. Definitely it's not God forsaken provincial backwater as some may imagine. But it's just me.

3 hours ago, vinapu said:

not rushing with any advice but I for one would definitely prefer Siem Reap, if only due to proximity of all those fabulous monuments as well as greater availability of western comforts. Battambang has those as well but not in a range Siem Reap does. Advantage of Battambang in my heart is it's rail connection to Phnom Penh. Definitely it's not God forsaken provincial backwater as some may imagine. But it's just me.

I imagine also better medical care.

21 hours ago, vinapu said:

Definitely it's not God forsaken provincial backwater as some may imagine. But it's just me

Battambang seems very quiet compared to Siem Reap. As I said before, it reminds me of a small, sleepy river town. Not a lot of things happening here. That isn't to say I would be unhappy here. I would actually be fine living either place. For me, the biggest advantage of Siem Reap over Battambang is the close proximity to the airport and the availability of more/better housing options. I haven't been to Phnom Penh yet, but I suppose I could also go there to the international airport. Not sure of the distance. I am still trying to get some insight from Cam as to why the sudden change of mind. It is a fishing expedition at this point. lol.

On 10/28/2026 at 11:36 AM, floridarob said:

If you guys lived in SR, what about his chickens and goat farming?

You could always offer to build an in-law apt at the house and always be with the family 😉

Maybe he's found this forum and knows what you're thinking and how you feel

Well, the chickens are a thing of the past. His father used to raise them...as many as 100 at one time. I think Cam's idea about raising the goats is partially to give his father something to do to stay occupied. I don't think Cam's intent was to stay there with his parents and raise the goats himself. He also talked about turtles, but those would be in the pond on the farm where they grow rice and sesame. I think the father's older brother would be the primary caretaker of the turtles. Just one more source of income for the family is how I look at it. Cam's real desire is to become a barber and have his own shop. There are more opportunities in Siem Reap for some type of vocational training or internship than in Battambang. As for the in-law unit...not thanks. I pass on that. Cam does know about the forum. He has even met some of the members back in Bangkok...going with me when I would plan to meet them for drinks or dinner. I am 99.9% sure he would never take the time to try and translate from the English into Khmer just to discover what was being said on the forum. lol. He is a little too lazy and lacks the motivation to do that.

Met with the real estate agent yesterday, but did not find anything to our liking. I guess I am a little too picky, or looking for something a little closer to western standards. Cam would have been fine with a couple of the places, but they just did not provide the comforts of home I am looking for. Something was always missing. Plus, there are not a lot of options out there. Choices are very limited, so if we do decide on Battambang I will need to change or adjust my mindset and be willing to settle for something rather than finding the perfect place that has everything on my list. Keep in mind that my list is not that extensive...just a few must have's. Cam's sister is in town today with husband and the two nephews. We are meeting them for dinner. Not sure how often they come to Battambang. Cam said the husband had some business to take care of. Perhaps it is related in some way to the mini-mart they own.

On 10/19/2026 at 5:05 AM, jimmie50 said:

Cam doesn't talk about the situation so I don't ask any questions. If and when he is ready to share the story with me, I will simply listen but not offer any comments or suggestions other than to provide empathy.

As i learned with my Thai boyfriend or whatever he is: Just ask any question you have and shoot away. My impression is he will always answer in a honest way. But he would not bring up anything "difficult" by himself. It is a way of protecting the partner for them.

Well, I might need to re-think this car idea. The sister, brother-in-law and two nephews are still in town, but will be heading to Siem Reap tomorrow. I learned from Cam that they actually drove to Battambang in a mid-size SUV. When he told me that I was surprised because I had previously asked him if anyone in his family actually had a car or they all used motorbikes. The only one he mentioned with an access to a 4-wheeled vehicle was his brother for the construction company. It turns out the car belongs to someone in the brother-in-law's family. They had borrowed the car for this trip. It would seem the car is more community property. lol. Not so sure I am comfortable with this idea, so it may require some serious conversations with Cam regarding use of the vehicle if I do get one. I rarely let anyone drive my vehicle back in the US.

Also learned that the brother-in-law is traveling around this area of Cambodia trying to sell these small battery operated lights. He traveled to Thailand...not sure how he managed to cross the border...and bought 200 of these things to sell back in Cambodia. I think he has managed to unload around 150 of them now, so is planning to get rid of the rest in Siem Reap. They strike me as more a night market item, but that is just me. Back in US, it would be something you could find at the dollar store. I could see someone hanging them outdoors as decorative lights around a deck or maybe using one as a night light for a child's room. It uses a lithium battery. They gave me one as a gift. Think I will leave it with Cam, though, and not try to take it back to the US with me. Air carriers are funny about lithium batteries these days. There are all sorts of rules and regulations about them.

As usual, whenever the family gets together it somehow manages to turn into a drinking party. They are staying with some relatives, and we ended up going there to visit late in the afternoon for a couple of hours. Within minutes, out comes the beer. I kept my mouth shut, but Cam was watching me and knew I was counting the number of beers he had to drink. lol. I will say he behaved himself better this time and stopped after four beers. No idea how many the other people had to drink...I wasn't concerned about them. Knowing that sooner or later I would be getting on the back of the motorbike with Cam to head back to our Airbnb, I was definitely keeping count of how much he was drinking. I had taken a ham & cheese wrap from Starbucks with me as I had not eaten any lunch, but the 4 year old nephew ending up eating that...and the bag of cookies I took. I was left with the coconut water provided by the sister. There was also some raw salmon which I thought best if I pass up. Not a huge seafood fan to begin with, nor do I really care for sushi or sashimi under the best of circumstances. To me this had food poisoning written all over it. To be honest...I am ready for the family to move on to Siem Reap.

4 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

To be honest...I am ready for the family to move on to Siem Reap.

not surprising , all other considerations aside is not easy to socialize with people when one does not speak the same language. After while it's become tiring.

Don't they have Grab or Bolt in Battambang ? driving on motorbike after few beers is kind of risky , specially that their roads are not exactly recently resurfaced, some may have an asphalt from colonial times

6 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I had taken a ham & cheese wrap from Starbucks with me as I had not eaten any lunch, but the 4 year old nephew ending up eating that...and the bag of cookies I took. I was left with the coconut water provided by the sister.

Did you say anything to Cam about this; wasn't he concerned that you hadn't had your lunch as he was enjoying his four beers?

My parents are in their late seventies; we'd be very concerned - and they'd be concerned for each other - if they weren't eating properly, more so if they had serious health issues and were on medication (they aren't).

Last evening was definitely one I will not forget any time soon.  It was surprising, and I might possibly even say shocking…at least it shocked me.  Let me set the scene…

We knew his sister and brother-in-law would be leaving this morning for Siem Reap, then return home to Banteay Meanchey province sometime Monday.  The goal was to sell all 200 light gizmo’s before returning.  I don’t know what their actual cost was, but they were selling them for $6 USD each.  No idea what the end price was to the customer, as he was really only selling them to vendors at that price.  He had already sold 150, so only 50 were remaining to be sold in Siem Reap.

Anyway, I had mentioned to Cam early yesterday morning that instead of going over that evening to the relative’s house and having dinner with who knows how many people, why didn’t we invite his sister, brother-in-law and nephews over to the Airbnb.  I could either cook something or we could pick something up.  Either way, it would be a much smaller and intimate setting than the chaos and party atmosphere from the previous night.  I was also thinking that I could control the alcohol consumption better since we would be providing the liquid refreshment.  lol.  Cam actually liked the idea, and discussed it with his sister.  Cam decided to go and pick up some things rather than have me cook a lot of food, so he got a whole duck, crispy pork, spicy chicken, five individual servings of rice, along with various vegetables and sauces.  He wanted some seafood, but they were all out at the place he went.  We also bought ice and 9 cans of beer.  I was satisfied with that number, as it would allow for three each.  Ice in beer is just so strange to me.  They arrived at our place shortly after 7pm.  There was casual conversation, most of which I did not understand.  Cam would pull out his phone and use Google Translate sometimes, although I don’t think his brother-in-law or sister had ever used that app before.  It seemed totally foreign to them.  It is quite possible I am the only foreigner they have ever met, so I guess that is understandable.  I didn’t even try using Google Translate when we were at his parents and everyone was around.  It was just too complicated.  Some things Cam would explain to me, but otherwise I just listened and smiled a lot.  I started setting food out on the coffee table to be shared by all.  Cam was getting ice out of the freezer and the 4 year old had followed him to the kitchen.  His eye was immediately drawn to the Magnum ice cream bar I had in the freezer.  Cam brought it out and asked his sister if it as okay for him to have it.  She said yes, so the nephew enjoyed ice cream for his dinner.  He may have had a couple of bites of duck, but primarily devoured the ice cream bar.  lol.

Okay, so here comes the surprising or shocking part for me…as we were eating and they are chatting away, the brother-in-law asked Cam to use his phone to translate as he had a very important question he needed to ask me.  Cam provided the phone, and had to assist him a little.  When speaking into Translate on the phone, they wouldn’t speak fast enough or loud enough so it would often only translate one or two words.  I had no idea what this important question was, but was anticipating a request for financial assistance or support of some sort…help building the new house, help with the business, or some other help that would separate me from my money.   I really had no clue, but certainly did not expect what came next.  Even though Cam was helping with the translation app on his phone, he was holding the 8 month old baby and playing with him at the same time, so was not totally tuned in to the conversation or question.  So, brother-in-law asks the question:  “The family wants to know if I love their younger brother?”  This took me totally by surprise and caught me off guard.  I wasn’t sure how to respond.  I turned to Cam and asked him if he heard the question.  He had not, as I suspected, because of playing with the baby.  I held up the phone and showed him Google Translate, then asked him what I should say.  My hesitation to respond comes from not being 100% sure what Cam has told his family regarding our relationship.  I was not sure how to respond as I did not want to say something that would create problems or issues for Cam with his family.  While they have all been very welcoming and friendly, treating me like a member of the family, what discussions Cam has had with his family in private I do not know.  Cam said ‘no problem’…just tell them how you feel…so I replied in the affirmative, that yes, I did love Cam.  Evidently, the brother-in-law had been elected the designated spokesperson for the family.  I think the family just wanted that confirmation and reassurance from me.  It was just totally unexpected and came out of nowhere.

Oh, and my idea of controlling the alcohol consumption was a huge failure.  Prior to arriving at our place for dinner, the brother-in-law had already consumed a couple of beers.  After we finished eating, it was decided to go walk around the nearby night market.  After exploring a few shops…where they insisted on purchasing me a hat that said ‘Cambodia’ as a gift…we went to what looked like a food court area to me with a number of stalls.  Mind you, we had just finished eating duck, pork and chicken, but they ordered these jumbo steamed or boiled shrimp, a plate with some sort of tiny unopened clams, a plate of french fries, and a large pitcher of beer…which managed to be refilled twice!!!  I just cannot win on this front.  It is a family of alcoholics!  We were walking distance from the Airbnb, so I wasn’t too concerned about us getting home safely, but I did worry about the brother-in-law driving back to the relatives with sister and two small children.  I guess they made it safely as the sister called this morning just before they left for Siem Reap.

I was also informed that before my return to the US they are planning some type of family get-together with everyone once again...all the siblings, spouses, and 14 grandchildren.  I guess that means another trip to his hometown unless they all decide to descend on us in Battambang.  I truly am just having to let go of my natural instincts to plan everything and simply go with the flow.

14 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Did you say anything to Cam about this; wasn't he concerned that you hadn't had your lunch as he was enjoying his four beers?

I guess I should explain a little bit more...the wrap was very small...more like a crepe about four inches long with a piece of ham and cheese rolled up inside. It was just going to be a snack since I had not eaten any lunch. When I pulled it out, the 4 year old was so intrigued by it that I naturally offered it to him, so it is really on me for giving it away. Who could resist the eyes of a 4 year who has probably never been inside a Starbucks nor had seen anything like this before.

Regarding the cookies, I was planning to share them, so the sister ate a couple, I ate a couple, and the 4 year old ate a couple. I think the package has a total of 8 small cookies. Cam had already warned the entire family I cannot drink alcohol because of my medication, so they were nice enough to provide the fresh coconut. I am not a huge fan as it is not sweet enough for me, but I did enjoy it since they went to the trouble to be sure and have something for me in addition to their beer and ice.

BTW...for those of you in the know...what is up with putting ice in beer? Never seen such a thing until here. Even if the cans are cold or packed in ice in a cooler, they pour the beer in a cup filled with ice. Maybe that is just Cam's family. No idea. Just seems strange to me.

17 hours ago, vinapu said:

Don't they have Grab or Bolt in Battambang ? driving on motorbike after few beers is kind of risky , specially that their roads are not exactly recently resurfaced, some may have an asphalt from colonial times

Grab, yes, but no Bolt here. There is another one that seems to be more popular in general in Cambodia called PassApp. We have used it a couple of times. I honestly don't mind the motorbike, but insist we both wear the helmets and Cam is careful when I am on the bike, not taking any risks. In fact, I have often thought to myself if I were the one driving I would have gone faster or wouldn't have waited on that car or truck. lol. I do believe when I am not on the bike he is a speed demon, but at least with me he is careful. I would probably be more of a risk taker. Roads are definitely questionable in some places all over Cambodia...not just in Battambang. Rural areas around his home town and out to the farm definitely made for some rough rides. Even in Siem Reap some roads were questionable. I don't believe it is limited to Battambang. Since I haven't been to Phnom Penh, I don't know what their roads are like. As for traffic, the big thing I notice is the infrastructure simply cannot handle the number of vehicles, regardless of where you are. Mostly two lane roads, whether paved, concrete, or dirt/mud and too many motorbikes, tuk-tuks, remorks, bikes, cars, trucks, buses...it only takes one slowpoke leading the pack to bring everything to a screeching halt. lol.

3 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

It was surprising, and I might possibly even say shocking…at least it shocked me.  Let me set the scene…

You had me worried there for a hot minute. I thought that the family had tried to scam you, requested money, or done something seriously offensive like try to sell you 50 light bobs.

Perhaps you were caught off guard but this feels normal in a large family situation, being asked about your intentions when inhibitions have been lowered sufficiently by familiarity and alcohol lol. I actually found this question positive rather than the opposite.

3 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

BTW...for those of you in the know...what is up with putting ice in beer? Never seen such a thing until here. Even if the cans are cold or packed in ice in a cooler, they pour the beer in a cup filled with ice.

I have encountered this too with my guy. I think they are trying to keep the beer cold as they usually drink outdoors in the heat. Regardless I think it’s good for all that alcohol consumption to be diluted and they’re getting some hydration. I am not a fast drinker so it made my beer repulsive.

Things are getting serious now if the brother is asking you that direct question. I have no clue about cam's history with relationship and bringing someone meeting family is definitely viewed as something serious. Glad that cam is on the same page with his family and with you.

I had no idea what this important question was, but was anticipating a request for financial assistance or support of some sort…help building the new house, help with the business, or some other help that would separate me from my money.  

Cynic that I am that was my expectation also, but I am very happy to be wrong!

Thanks for all the reports.

I knew what was going to be the topic of the question right away....and so did Cam 👍

I get the ice, I use tons of ice.....

In Mexico they put ice in their beer mugs too.... I tell them to put the ice in a small zip lock so the beer doesn't get watered down or use something like this, not this specific product but like this:

https://www.amazon.com/Reusable-Ice-Cube-Sticks-Freezable/dp/B0F2BDT5L5/